Family Guy's Extra Special Road Trip
Peter's Super Best Super Powered Adventure Ever
Episode Summary: After their stop in Danville with Phineas and Ferb, the Griffins continue their road trip, and this time make a stop in the infamous City of Townsville, the home of the Powerpuff Girls. While they are there, Stewie gets into trouble when one of the girls falls head over heels for him, and Peter gets into legal trouble when he accidentally insults the mayor of the city for his stupidity, and criticizes the girls for their superheroin duties. So to make amends, he kidnaps them and takes them back to Rhode Island to show them how to have fun like normal 5 year old tools.
Disclaimer: The Powerpuff Girls and Family Guy do not belong to me. They belong to Craig McCracken and Seth MacFarlane respectively.
We pick up where the last episode left off, with the Griffin family harboring in Danville, the home of Phineas and Ferb.
It was a bright, new day. 8:00 in the morning, to be precise. Phineas, Ferb, along with everyone else in the neighborhood were sleeping peacefully. Normally, though, the two brothers would be awake by this time, but considering they were awake the night before until 5 in the morning helping the New Rat Pack with their telethon, it's no surprise they're still asleep. It's no surprise everyone's still asleep...
A-WELL-A-EVERYBODY'S HEARD ABOUT THE BIRD!
A-WELL-A BIRD BIRD BIRD. B-BIRD'S THE WORD!
Everyone, except for Peter Griffin, the man whose stupidity knows no bound. The minute he walked through the front doors of his temporary home, he picked up beers and drank 'til he couldn't drink no more. Which means he' still drinking.
The barbaric booms of the stereos playing 'Surfin' Bird' immediately woke Phineas and Ferb up, and boy were they not happy. And neither was their father, Lawrence Fletcher.
"Well, what's all that racket out there?"
"Oue new idiot neighbors have been playing that stupid 'Surfin' Bird' song for 3 hours straight. It's driving me nuts!" Phineas shouted, grinding his teeth together to drown out the song. "We were all up all night helping out Brian with his concert to raise money, so you'd think the least they'd do would be to let us sleep a little."
"Well, that's the trouble with idiots. They never know when to stop."
"Actually, I believe the proper term for that man is 'retard'." Ferb commented angrily, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Phineas immediately picked up the phone in his room and started dialing the next house.
When the phone started ringing, Peter stopped the music and picked it up. "Hello? Griffin residence."
"Um, yeah. Could you turn down the music a little bit!?"
"Who is this!?"
"You're joking, right? It's me, Phineas! Your neighbors? We were at the concert last night until 5 am, and we're very tired. The neighborhood is tired. So if you could kindly shut the music off for about another 5 hours, that would be great!"
"Well, sir, while I may be an idiot, if there's one thing I'm not, that sir, is an idiot. Now put the phone down and go f#ck yourself. I'm trying to listen to my music." And with that, Peter angrily hung up the phone and put the music back on, this time even louder than before.
While Phineas and Ferb tried covering their ears with their pillows, desperately trying to block out the erupting noise from the stereo, another neighbor has already had her filling of 'Surfin' Bird'. Her name was Isabella Garcia-Shapiro, neighbor and now girlfriend of Phineas Flynn. SHe had also been up all night helping the talent show, and now, just wanting to get some well deserved sleep, had to endure the torture that was Peter.
Angry and fed up with the music, she jumped out of bed, put on her robe and slippers, and marched right out the front door and towards his house, which was conveniently right next to Phineas's. She marched up to the front door and started banging on it really hard.
"HEY, YOU IN THERE! YOU'VE BEEN PLAYING THAT STUPID SONG FOR HOURS, AND WE'RE ALL SICK OF IT!" She shouted as loud as she could over the music. She actually strained her voice in the process. "You've kept everyone up all night long, so we'd appreciate it if you'd just shut that music of-" She was cut off when a drunken Peter holding a beer can, came out of the house, angrily glaring at Isabella.
"Uh, hey bitch?" He smugly said. "Um, I'm trying to listen to my favorite music of all time and your nagging and yelling is making it hard for me to enjoy it."
"So if you don't mind shutting the hell up so I can enjoy it, I'd greatly appreciate it."
"Well, I'd appreciate getting back to sleep. I've been up all night with your friend, helping him with his charity auction, remember? The dog, the big guy, and the talking football?"
"Talking football? Now that's no way to talk about my son? Maybe my wife or my daughter, but not my son."
"You don't even know who I'm talking about, do you?"
"Um...I think so. What's his name again? I wanna say 'Tim'."
"Ugh!" Isabella sighed in defeat, cupping her eyebrows in frustration. She was too tired and annoyed to want to deal with Peter' stupidity. So instead of trying to talk some reason into him, she instead marched into the house, pulled the plug on the stereos, and then marched back outside and started heading back to her house. Peter, in anger, suddenly pulled out an archery set with bugs attached to the ends of the arrows
He loaded an arrow up, aimed at Isabella's house, and then shot the arrow. Instantly, when the arrow hit the home, the entire fortress became infested with termites. As Isabella started having a panic attack, Peter simply laughed at her misfortune.
"HA HA! Douchebags!"
It seems today that all you see
Is violence in movies and sex on TV
But where are those good old fashioned values
On which we used to rely!
Lucky there's a Family Guy!
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and Cry
Chapter 1: A Whole 'Nother Adventure
So after Isabella's house was quarantined, and the entire Garcia-Shapiro family was ej-I mean, evacuated from the home, the Griffin family was just about ready to set out for their next stop.
But before they did, they had one piece of business left to take care of (And by them, I mean Peter. After all, it was all his fault.)
The Griffin family were at the Flynn's residence, as Isabella & her mother were settling in.
"Phineas!" Lawrence yelled to his son upstairs. "Isabella's here!" Despite Phineas's sleep deprived state, he was very excited to hear that Isabella was here, and he immediately raced down, not even getting dressed. He was too excited to see her to dress himself. Thankfully, Isabella was also in her P.J's, so Phineas didn't look like some sort of autistic grade-schooler.
He slid down the guard rails on the staircase, and rushed over to Isabella and greeted her with a giant hug. Though Isabella and Phineas now knew they liked each other so much, she didn't expect to be greeted by a bear hug today.
"Hi Phineas!" She said gleefully, though a bit overwhelmed by the hug. "W-What are you doing?"
"What? I can't show my girlfriend how much I like her?" He joked back, as Isabella smiled and enjoyed the hug, even kissed him on his forehead, while Mrs. Garcia-Shapiro brought in the luggage.
"Thank you so much again for letting us stay here while our house is being dis-infected." Mrs. Garcia said to Lawrence.
"Oh no sweat. It's a pleasure to have you here, and you can stay here as long as you need to."
"YAY! SLEEPOVER!" Phineas and Isabella yelled to each other as they hugged again and then ran upstairs to his room.
"So by the way, whatever did happen to your house?" Lawrence asked Mrs. Garcia, whom paid no attention to him. Instead, Lois, standing at the door, took the pleasure in answering him.
"My husband accidentally unleashed 10,000 termites into their house." She said, gritting her teeth. "And half of them were infected with Salmonella."
"You and me both. Peter does the absolute dumbest things, like when he was first introduced to exercise equipment."
We cutaway to Los Angeles, California, more specifically, the 123-acre Humming Bird Nest Ranch, home of The Biggest Loser. We go inside the gym, early in the morning. Peter is the first one in the gym in his workout clothes, but sadly, he is not working out. Instead, he spent the night decorating one of the gym's treadmills into a reindeer. Kim Lyons, one of the trainers, was not pleased.
"Dude, what the hell are you doing?"
"Oh, up already? Well, I did want to be a surprise," Peter began in a sing-song tone. "But I stayed up the entire night decorating this thing to look like a reindeer. Now I don't have to spend my time running to get the same results as you fat bastards. And look," He turned the treadmill on, and it was moving very quickly. "14 miles per hour. That's the fastest this thing goes."
"I'm not exactly sure you know how that thing works..."
"Nonsense. OK, here I go." Peter went to step on the treadmill belt, but did not start running, and instead of sweating, he was instead flown back far off the treadmill into a pile of hard, heavy weights that were lying on the floor. He crashed into them and broke many bones in his body. "AAAHHHH! OW! OW! OW! OW!! OUCH, OH GODDAMMIT! OOOWWW! Why didn't someone tell me this would happen? OWW! AHHH! OW!" With Peter's injury, he was officially out of the game.
That only left 11 contestants to compete: an uneven number. So the producers decided to hold a viewer's vote sweepstakes with NBC's The Today Show. And as luck would have it, a Texan paramedic named Amber Walker won, and she was chosen to be on the Biggest Loser and put on Kim Lyon's team. After hearing the news, though, Peter was not pleased, and rudely mouthed off to Kim, shooting out nearly 40 F-bombs in 5 minutes, and then threatened to burn the place down. He did not carry out this threat.
After Isabella and her mother were settled in with Phineas & his family, the Griffin family did not wait around to be yelled at by anyone, and immediately took off for their next stop on their 'Dollars for Diabetes' music tour. Frank, Brian, & Stewietook the tour bus, while the rest of the family rode in the sedan.
"Oh boy, this is the life!" Peter exclaimed while he was driving. "On the road, no rules, no lousy neighbors, and no way I could owe tbe Brewery any money for accidentally um...destroying their, um...mascot..."
We cut to the PawtucketPatriot Brewery, where Angela is outside holding up a costume of a beer bottle up to Peter. The costume has a pee stain on it because Peter was drunk when he used it and believed himself to be an astronaut.
"What, I thought you could just go in the suit. You know, like the astronauts!"
"Um, Peter, I think we went through that when we came here to Danville." Lois replied.
"Yes, I know, Captian Obvious. There's nothing wrong with revisiting good flashbacks, right Meg?"
"Sure, dad. Whatever you say."
"Shut up, Meg."
While Peter was concentrating on the road, Chris couldn't help but hear some loud rattling in the trunk of the car. But when he looked back to see what it was, he couldn't help himself, and started screaming his head off, causing everyone else to start screaming as well. They came to a screeching halt in the middle of nowhere. The bus also made a short stop behind them, and Brian, Stewie, and Frank piled out.
"CHRIS! What's the matter with you?" Lois asked infuriated.
"Come look!" Chris called as the family stepped out of the car and opened up the trunk. Inside, they saw the dead body of a 2-year old girl, lying in there, covered in Chloroform.
"OH my god!" Meg yelled.
"Holy sh#t!" Peter screamed.
"What the hell's going on over he-whoa, baby." Frank said as he came up to the car and saw the dead body. "This is not good."
"OH yeah? This is also not our car." Brian added, pointing out that the Griffins had accidentally taken a white stationwagon by mistake instead of their magenta sedan. "It's a white stationwagon."
"Oh my god, we took somebody else's car!" Lois screeched.
"Yeah, somebody else who has to plan a funeral." Frank said flatly, not even understanding the situation.
"Dad, what do we do?" Chris asked his father.
"Don't worry, Chris. We'll do the right thing. We have to return everything to the way it was before we left Danville..."
However, instead of returning the car to Danville, which they "took by accident", Peter took the body out of the car and double-bagged it, placing a heart-shaped sticker over the mouth of the body, and then duck-taping it together. Then, he dragged the bags out into the woods of Danville, similar to the place he found the first body. Then he ran all the way back to Danville, which was over 40 miles away, got the right car, and drove back to the same spot to pick up his family, and then they all took off. As of today, nobody has spoken of that event.
Many hours later, while the family were still driving along the road, Lois couldn't help but notice that the car began shaking rapidly. She grew more and more worried as time passed.
"Peter, are you sure this is our car?"
"Yes, Lois. It's our car because it has my 'Surfin' Bird' remix tapes in it."
"Then did you make sure to fill up with gasoline?"
"ALl our belongings are in the trunk of the car?"
"Fill up on oil?"
"Nope." Peter replied smugly, before replying with "Sorry, Lois." All of the sudden, the car started shaking so fast, Peter could not control it, even with the steering wheel. So, they were forced to make a crash landing into a nearby home, with the bus slowly stopping right behind them, showing no signs of damage at all.
The family all piled out of their vehicles and observed their new location. Frank checked the map to see where exactly they were. "Hmm...well if this map is accurate, it says we're somewhere in New Jersey. Townsville, New Jersey to be exact."
"Oh man, I have a bad feeling about this." Peter remarked, trembling a bit. "I hope the mayor here isn't Jewish, either."
"Peter!" Lois yelled sternly to her husband.
"What? No offense, but I am not comfortable with Jewish mayors, I'm just not. Call me supersticious, but I do not tolerate Jewish people with power: especially Jeff Goldblum and Chris Tucker.
Meanwhile, the owner of the house that Peter crashed into ran outside as soon as he heard the crash. He was a slightly-taller-than-average man with a white lab coat, and a pipe in his hand. He went by only: Professor Utonium.
"What in Heaven's name is going on out here!?" He shouted. "My house!"
"Your house? Oh, oh this is just perfect, Lois!" Peter shouted. "Not even three minutes and already we meet up with such a selfish little tool like this guy!"
"Selfish tool? Dude, you freakin' crashed your car into my house!"
"It was an accident, man. I ran out of oil and I lost control of the car. It's not like last year when I accidentally crashed my car into the Rhode Island power plant."
"Peter, that wasn't you. That was in 'The Simpsons'." Brian pointed out.
"Oh yeah. But I did crash into the Quahog Cable Television Transmitter."
"Yes, and then you bribed your daughter with a convertible to take the hit for it."
"I don't remember that part. I mean, Chris isn't even old enough to drive, yet."
"That's because Chris is your son. Meg's your daughter?"
"Who? No, I think you mean 'Jodi'."
"Who the hell is Jodi?"
"What the hell does a girl named 'Jodi' have to do with all this?"
Brian slapped his forehead in defeat.
"Look, my girls are going to be home any minute, and I'm trying to make the house as neat as possible for them. After all, they do have very busy lives."
"Your 'Girls', huh?"
"Peter, I'm sure he means his daughters, right?"
"Oh." Peter replied sadly. "You know, cause I kinda thought that you were some horny nymphomaniac because the only sex-obsessed guy that I know lives back in Rhode Island, while I'm stuck out here supporting some douchebag and his classical music band."
"And with that, you're referring to me, Frank, and Stewie."
"Oh yeah. Who's Stewie?"
Brian & Peter's argument was beginning to escalate, but before they could start yelling, three toddler figures were floating right above their heads. Wearing their signature colors, pink, light blue, and light green, they were the heroins of the city (and no, you can't smoke them). They went by the names, Blossom (pink), Bubbes (Blue), and Buttercup (Green). Initially, the Griffin family were shocked and dismayed to see floating kindergarteners in front of them. Peter's jaw was even to the ground.
"Professor, we're all done!" Blossom called out as the three of them floated down to the ground. That was when she noticed the family standing there. "Who are these people?"
"Boy, this is...awkward. I don't think there's ever been a time where I've been this confused."
"I think I can name one." Stewie retorted to Peter.
We cut to an semi-abandoned parking lot. Only a few cars were there, Peter's sedan being one of them. His keys were out of the car, but for some unexplainable reason, he wasn't. He had locked his keys out of the car and he couldn't get them back.
"Dammit. Uh, hey! Somebody!" He shouted through the window to try and get someone's attention. A bypasser went by without even glancing towards him. "Um, excuse me, sir? Sir? Ok sir? Sir, you see those keys? You see those keys? Sir? Sir! S-oh screw you!" He had finally given up trying to get his attention, and instead took a clothes hanger, took it apart, and slipped the little hook through the crack between the window and the top part. He moved it carefully to get to the keys. He finally did hook on the keys, but they fell off, and he accidentally let go of the hook. "Waaaaaaahh! Man, I'm screwed now, huh, Brian?"
He looked to the back seat to see his dog lying on the seat, extremely drunk, wearing a 'Dunce' hat, and urinating on the seats. "I'm the biggest idiot ever!"
Brian could not help but stare angrily at Stewie after he added in that final part about Brian being 'the Biggest Idiot ever'. "OH come on, Brian. Even you can't hide it anymore. You're a prick, end of story."
End of Chapter 1!
Next Time: The Griffins learn first hand about 'The Powerpuff Girls', and while some of the family is delighted to meet them, others would rather be out having sex with a diabetic.
Expected Update: Not for awhile. See, while I was writing this chapter, I came up with another story idea involving Phineas and Ferb. Well, actually, two of them, which I'll list below. That being said, I'll still be working on this story defenitely. But don't expect another chapter for at least another 2 1/2 weeks.
Here's what's coming up form Blackspiderman:
The Flynns meet Dr. Phil...Sort of...: Candace, frustrated that her mother thinks she's crazy about Phineas and Ferb, takes them to see Dr. Phil, though comes into a big surprise when someone else is sitting in for him. Meanwhile, Perry is set up with his biggest mission yet, which...oddly enough, does not involve Dr. Doofenshmirtz. (Hint hint: Look for this under the 'American Dad' sections. Should be up in about a week, by February 26th the latest.)
The Chronicles of Phisabella: A Love Tale of Pricks: The tales of Phineas and Isabella after their get together in 'Family Guy's Road Trip'. FInd all of their latest love adventures in here. Plus, catch Perry in his cool missions to stop Dr. Doofenshmirtz.
Until Then, Read & Review!