To Have and To Hold

Chapter Eighteen

Jess slid under the Cessna and drained the oil pan. She had barley closed her eyes and Derek and Cody had come back and the work day had started again. Rubbing the grit out of her eyes she checked some other things as she waited for the oil to drain.

"Hiding baby sister?" Jess looked to Cody's boots.

"Therapy. Idol hands and all that." He squatted down and watched his sister make adjustments on the small plane.

"Jess you need sleep."

"I slept."

"Derek and I got back at six. When did you fall asleep on the couch?"

"I'm fine Cody." He grabbed her leg and pulled her out from under the plane.

"Matt will be here in a few hours."

"More reason for me to have my work done."

"We haven't used this plane since fall."

"More the reason to make sure it's in shape to fly if we need it." She slid herself back under the plane and checked the hydraulic fluid.

"Why are we playing games Jess? Talk to me."

"I'm fine Cody. I just want to do something with my hands. I can't sit behind that damn desk any more." She ducked to look at her brother. "I just need to work." Cody knew the desk job wasn't going to suit his sister much but to keep her baby safe that's where she needed to be. Working on a plane or a bike now and then wouldn't hurt if it kept her sane.

"Okay but it's getting cold. Come in if your fingers go numb." She nodded. He left her then. Her bag was packed and ready to go. Matt would be home in three hours and they would head to Vermont. She knew he'd be waiting. That was the whole idea. Kitrick thinking he would have her and Matt alone.


Cody stood in the terminal at the Lake Tahoe airport. Matt was due in any minute and it wasn't a minute too soon. Jess was just putting the finishing touches on the Cessna and was jumpier then a cat in a room full of rocking chairs. He didn't know what was going on and he didn't like it. Jess had been quiet again and she looked at him with strange knowing eyes. Seeing Matt and Robin across the air port Cody stopped worrying about his sister and started worrying about his brother. Matt looked like hell. He looked a hell of a lot older then his forty-three years.

"Hey Toad." Matt came up to him and they hugged. Cody hugged Robin.

"I'm sorry we hand to cut your trip short."

"We end this now and then we all take a vacation." Cody smiled.

"I hear you. The kids voted we're headed to Disneyworld."

"The boys voicing their opinions already?"

"They take after their aunt Jess. They have an opinion for everything." Cody and Matt loaded the bags in the back of the truck and they all got in.

"The plane ready?"

"Yeah. Why are we keeping this such a secret?"

"Because Kitrick is everywhere. If he thinks anyone else will be in Vermont he'd be spooked. If he had the phone tapped like I know he did he'll know me and Jess are going to the farm."

"What if he shoots you out of the sky?" Cody looked at his brother. Robin looked at both of them.

"I won't let that happen. Anyway Kitrick will want to see our faces before he finishes us off." Cody rolled his eyes.

"OH now there's a pleasant thought."

*-*-*-*-*-*-*BAU Headquarters, Quantico, Virginia*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Penelope Garcia stood at the door of her boss. Aaron Hotchner sat at his desk and she wasn't sure if what she had was something that needed his attention or not.

"Are you going to stand there all day Penelope or are you going to tell me why you're wearing a hole on my office door step?"

"I just got the weirdest e-mail ever."

"Okay and this is my problem because?" She walked in and set it on his desk.

"Because it makes no sense and it was rerouted a zillion times and if I'm not mistaken it's from Cody Hawkes but it…oh just read it."

"Penelope, the party is on at grandmas. Invite the whole crew and tell them to bring all the best party favors because the guest of honor has more then we bargained for. "Hotch looked at his computer tech. "Your right. It is from Cody. I want you to find out if the Hawkes or the Mc McCormick's have or had some land on the east coast. Their setting a trap for Kitrick and they're asking us for help."

"I'm on it. But sir if Kitrick is as connected as people says will he figure this out."

"You have all the best defenses. That's why he sent that to you." Dave Rossi was at the door.

"I just got the strangest e-mail."

"From California?"

"Yeah. 'Dave, we're leaving soon so be there first to open up the place and air it out. We don't have much time so get there before dawn. Jesse.'"

"So somewhere on the east coast is a place where the Hawkes are going to set up Kitrick?" Garcia looked at Rossi. "Give me five minutes and I'll have every parcel of land a McCormick or a Hawkes ever owned on the East Coast." She bolted out of the door.

"What did I miss?" Hotch checked his e-mail. There was one from Derek.

"Seems the Hawkes found a way to smoke out Kitrick. I got an e-mail from Derek. 'I miss the old job but the new ones not so bad. Charlotte O'Rourke was the best I ever had.'" Hotch looked at Rossi. He grabbed the phone and paged Garcia.

"Yes sir."

"Run any land belonging to a Charlotte O'Rourke that once belonged to one of Jess's relatives." Hotch heard her typing quickly.

"Jess's late paternal grandparents owned a farm just outside Morrisville Vermont and it was sold about ten years ago to a Charlotte O'Rourke. I run her and I get a bunch of road blocks that say Charlotte is not who she says she is."

"It's because she's Jess. Send the directions to us and get the plane on the runway."

"Yes sir." He hung up with Garcia and called the FBI office closest to the farm and put them on stand by. Cole Kitrick was going down tonight if the Rangers and the FBI had anything to do with it.


Jess restlessly ran her hand down her belly. The bump wasn't much but she knew it was there and it soothed her to feel it. Derek and Matt were in the front seats and she watched them intently seeing there expressions in the dark night from the glow of the interment panel. Matt was tired and Jess knew that exhaustion and flying didn't mix. She also knew Matt wouldn't let anything happen to her and the baby.

"Jess you should sleep. Cody said you hardly got any rest last night." Matt looked back at her.

"I'm fine. You should be the one back here sleeping."

"I slept on the plane. Just because I didn't shave doesn't mean I didn't sleep." Jess smiled. Matt had forgotten how his sister's smile could ease his worry. "Sleep." Reaching over she touched Derek's arm. He took her hand and held it.

"It won't be long baby and this will be all over."

"I know." Holding her husbands hand against her belly she fell asleep to the light tapping inside her womb. Their daughter loved the large warm hand of her father against her. At night when Derek rolled over and rested his hand on her belly she did flip flops to please him. Jess smiled. Before the day was over Kitrick would pay for what he had done to her all those years ago.


Matt landed the plane with ease on the plowed runway that ran behind the small farm Jess had inherited from her grandparents. He looked out into the darkness. This was their only hope of drawing Kitrick out. Matt knew Jess would understand when he made the call. She did everything right. He looked back at her sleeping figure. He had underestimated all those years ago.

"You need to stop blaming yourself for all this." Matt looked at his brother in law.

"It is my fault. If I hadn't sent her to DC none of this would be happening."

"You don't know that. Maybe he was in with Letta and the others longer then we thought. He lived in those mountains just like you did. Only he saw the potential of hiding criminals and a drug house up there. "

"I should of let Jess stay when she wanted to."

"Then the Jess you know now wouldn't be. Doing what she did set her up for things to come Matt. If she hadn't of fought with you and Cody that winter and stayed in Tahoe instead of going to DC do think she would have had the knowledge and the strength to pull Cody out of Afghanistan? Or been the kind of woman she is today? What she lived made her what she is today. I don't know about you but I wouldn't want her any other way." Matt knew Derek was right. Jess wouldn't be who she was today if it wasn't for the fights she fought over the years.

"Your right. Thanks for making me see that." He looked out into the field in front of him. "You remember what I taught you?"

"Yeah. Start the engine, taxi, stay out of the line of fire." Matt looked at Jess. "You think he's out there?" He looked back at Derek.

"He's out there. Along with a couple dozen FBI agents."

"Do you think he fell for it?"

"I guess it's time we find out." Matt reached over and woke Jess up. "Time to go to work." Jess drifted awake.

"Can we just take off again a fly to Jamaica or some other warm place?"

"As much as I would love to do that Jess we should really get this over with." She sat up and took her Kevlar vest from under the seat. She strapped it on and put her coat on. "Let's get this over with. I have a dinner date with my husband I had to cancel last night."

"Let's go." They climbed out of the plane and shut the doors.

"You're sure he's not going to peg us off as we walk to the house?"

"Yeah. I know Cole well enough to know he likes to look his enemy in the eye."

"Let's hope he doesn't decide it's easier to just get rid of us."

"He shoots once he's going down. The FBI is out there too you know."

"Let's hope." Jess took a deep breath and followed Matt to the front porch of the farm house. He took the keys out of his pocket. "He could have rigged the place."

"JT's people have had this place wired since Kitrick arrest you. I made sure of it." She looked at him.

"You know about what happened when I left don't you?" Matt down at his boots and then at his sister.

"Yeah. A few years ago I met JT in Aspen for some skiing and he had too much to drink. He told me about you getting sick before you came home."

"I didn't want you to feel guilty. So I just made you mad." Matt smiled.

"Yeah you sure in the hell know how to do that." Matt unlocked the door and went inside.

"Come out; come out where ever you are." Jess whispered. She set down her bag. "The old place looks good."

"Yeah. Maybe you and Derek can move up here when you retire."

"Matt after this is over I'm never leaving our mountains." The hammer of a gun being pulled back made her stop in her tracks.

"You're never going back to your mountain Jessie Lynne." The sound of Cole Kitricks voice made Jess's blood run cold. Matt pushed her in front of him putting himself between Jess and the sound of Cole's voice.

"How the hell did you get in here?" Matt looked into the shadow where his voice was coming from.

"Did you underestimate me again Matt? You always seem to do that."

"Well you always were pretty predictable." Kitrick stepped out of the shadows.

"You think JT's little entourage can slow me down. I taught most of those people everything they know. Taught your little sister most of what she knows too."

"You forgot who raised her Cole. She learned more from our old man then you could ever teach anyone." Jess undid the snap on her holster at her hip. "Just give it up Kitrick. There's no place to go."

"You forget who I am. I hid that meth lab from you and your crew for almost two years. If it wasn't for Kelly's brother screwing things up I would have been out of there long before you got wind I was even involved."

"You knew my dad's deal with Coral. Unless there were weapons involved we stayed clear. As long as your boys behaved the Rangers never bothered them."

"Yeah and then Letta started misbehaving. Messing around with the damn cons after I got her out of jail…you could have kept that one Hawkes."

"So it comes back down to a woman Kitrick. You messed up my mountains for a piece of ass?" Matt new there wasn't any place for Cole to go but he was going to have shoot first and Matt didn't like the odds of him missing.

"You got to admit Mattie…she was one fine piece of ass." Matt looked at the man who had been a good friend once. He stood up for his country and his beliefs and sold out for a woman who was a murdered and a drug dealer.

"She wasn't worth selling out for." Matt reached behind him and Jess placed her gun in his hand. There was no way Kitrick was going to get between him and Jess. He'd die before he'd let that happen. But the chance never came. Matt blinked once and Kitrick had his gun up but the sound of breaking glass made him pivot and take Jess down to the ground. Matt turned to see Cole's right shoulder bleeding and his gun three feet away. The front door opened and JT walked into the room.

"The son of a bitch is lucky I didn't move an inch to left." He kicked the gun away from the man on the ground. "Wake up you bastard." JT picked Cole up off the floor. "It's a flesh wound you prick now pay attention." He pushed Cole against the wall. The older man opened his eyes.

"You always were a sucky shot Mc Cullen." JT laughed.

"If I wanted you dead you psycho I could of done it with my eyes closed. You owe some people some explanations. We know you started drug dealing for a piece of ass now why did you poison Jess nine years ago?" Kitrick looked at JT then Jess and Matt. He laughed.

"Because it was the only thing he cared about more then his old man and brother. She was his weakness. Still is from what I can see." Matt took a step but Jess stopped him.

"It's not worth it Matt. He'll get his." Jess took his hand and headed toward the door as the FBI and JT's men started pouring in. Aaron Hotchner came to her.

"Everything alright?" Jess looked at her brother. His face laden with exhaustion.

"I think it just might be okay." She looked at the FBI agent. "Thank you."

"Anything for Morgan's girl." He smiled. "Tell him to say hello before you take off." Jess looked at her brother again.

"I think we might be staying awhile." She took Matt and went out to the front porch. She sat him down on the old wicker chair that had been there just about as long as the house. Taking her gun that was still in his right hand she put it back in her holster. "Talk to me Matt." He swallowed hard.

"You should have let me kill the bastard."

"Why? So you can end your career like he ended his, by doing something stupid and juvenile? It's not the way we Hawkes do things Matt." Derek came up the steps. Seeing his wife and brother in law were okay he began breathing easier.

"Good to see you both upright." Jess smiled. She hugged her husband.

"Matt wouldn't have it any other way. Would you big brother?" He looked at Jess and couldn't help but give a small smile.

"No." He said softly. Emily Prentiss came up the steps and handed Morgan a set of keys.

"Hotch said to take these two to the nearest motel and he'd pick up the tab. We need a report in the morning." Morgan hugged his friend.

"Tell him thanks." He looked at Matt. He wasn't sure the man could make it down the steps let alone to a motel. "Let's get out of here. Tell JT and Hotch I'll call them in the morning." Jess took Matt's hand and hauled him up from the chair and they headed to the first place they could lay there heads.


Matt rolled over and looked at the clock. It said six fifteen. He knew he had slept way more then an hour because the sun had been coming up when he unlocked the door to the small room. Jess had let him sleep nearly twelve hours. Hell he needed another twelve more. Sitting up he grabbed his cell phone from his bed side table. She had turned that off some how too. There was a brown bag sitting next to it. Grabbing it and opening it he found a razor, toothbrush, toothpaste and deodorant. Smiling he got up and took a much needed shower.


Jess sat in the small diner across from the motel with Spencer Reid. Derek had gone with Emily to file a report and he didn't want her left alone. She liked the young doctor since they met. He was much too serious for her taste though.

"How's your brother doing?"

"I've been afraid to wake him. He looked so tired when we took off from Tahoe last night. I wasn't sure he was going to make it."

"You all can rest easy now that Kitrick is out of commission."

"Is he?" Reid looked into his coffee cup.

"I know the FBI and the rest of the alphabet agencies are going to do their best to make sure that Cole Kitrick is punished for his crimes."

"He's got friends."

"Apparently so do you. Hotch got a call before we left giving him full authorization to use whatever force necessary to bring Cole Kitrick into custody. In or out of a body bag were the precise words, I believe." Jess smiled.

"I'd like to think we've all made some good friends in our lives." Spencer looked at the woman across from him.

"Has Derek ever mentioned anything about my mother to you?"

"I know she lives in Vegas. He said that you promised the next time you go see her you'd give us a call."

"My mom is in a hospital. A psychiatric facility." He looked at her with knowing eyes. "Don't be mad Derek told me about Hale Mc McCormick. He wanted to understand some things." Jess knew Derek wanted her to know it was going to all be okay. She looked at Spencer. His wide child like eyes full of concern. "Don't be mad at him."

"I know he wants me to know all I can about why my birth parents were the way they were."

"I could give you a bunch of statistics and professional opinions and such but I know for a fact that if you were going to be anything like her you'd have already shown signs. Most woman experience one or more psychotic episodes sometime during puberty if they're going to have one."

"I know the odds Spencer. I just don't like not being in control of something."

"But Jess you are in control. If your weren't you would of experienced an episode long before this. My mom was fourteen when she experienced her first attack. Over the years she's gone off her meds and she's regretted it. Except for the time she was pregnant with me. I know it was hard for her to do but it all worked out in the end. I have never had any kind of break down or episode. Well not of the psychotic kind anyway." He smiled. "Sometimes is bread into you Jess. Sometimes it isn't and I know your one of those that it wasn't."

"It means so much more coming from a doctor then my ex-boyfriend." Spencer looked confused. "Forget it. Thank you Spencer." Matt came into the diner. Jess smiled. He looked so much better then he had twelve hours ago. He slid into the booth next to Jess.

"I'm starved. You could have woke me up."

"I know, but you actually looked peaceful lying there so I let you sleep another six hours." He laughed.

"Dr. Reid." Matt shook his hand.

"Ranger Hawkes. Good to see you up and around."

"Thanks, and it's Matt please." The waitress came over and poured him some coffee and took his order. "Derek at the farm?"

"Yeah. They're clearing things up. All we need to do is file our witness statements and we're out of here by morning."

"Good. I think Cody and Cutler both need CPR after hearing about what went down last night." Jess looked at Matt.

"If he hated us so much why did he help me when I got back from getting Cody out of Afghanistan?"

"I guess we'll never know. Who knows, maybe at his trial he yell cover up and take you down with him." Jess glared at her brother. "Just kidding. There's no way that's even still on the books after this long. The government won't want to look that bad now after six years."

"Oh you better hope so because I'm not giving birth to my baby in jail." Derek came to the table and leaned over and kissed his wife before he sat down.

"Who said you're going to jail?" He sat next to Reid. Jess smiled.

"If Kitrick tries to make a deal and takes back his story about authorizing Cody's extraction from Afghanistan."

"Kitrick is on his way to Florence, Colorado."

"The Supermax?" Jess was surprised they would move that fast.

"Yep. JT's firm was contracted to escort Kitrick to Colorado." Jess looked at Matt.

"JT won't let that bastard out of his sight till he's safely behind those walls."

"Matt JT doesn't plan on taking Kitrick anywhere." Matt knew his sister was right. Kitrick had messed with him one to many times and knowing that Kitrick hurt Jess to get to Matt had made JT's easy going temperament a thing of the past.

"He'll do what he thinks he has to Jess. He always has." Jess looked down at her tea as the waitress brought Matt his dinner. "Jess he's been taking care of things like this long before he was your partner."

"I know." She smiled at him. "Eat your dinner before you starve." Jess knew that JT hadn't always played by the rules so it wasn't a shock to her what Matt had said but she was still worried that her friend would step too far over the line one too many times and end up on the wrong side of the law.


Jess crawled into bed and laid her head on her husband's chest. He was reading but he set the book down and took her in his arms. It had been a rough few days. He ran his hand down her hair and rubbed her back.

"Did you talk to Reid?"

"Yeah. He's worried I'll be mad at you for telling him about Hale."

"Are you?" She smiled.


"Cody says we need to fight more."

"Cody lives for make up sex." She looked up at Derek and kissed him. "He's been married three years. He needs to fight with Sarah to make it exciting." Jess moved her leg over her husbands. "We still got a couple of years till that happens." Derek smiled and pulled his wife on top of him.

"Oh baby the way we start fires I don't think we'll have any problems in two years or twenty." Derek rolled her over and showed her just what he meant."


Matt landed the Cessna on the small landing strip near the Ranger station and taxied the plane to the hanger. Jess seemed a little more herself today then she had yesterday. Cody, Cutler, Robin and their parents were waiting for them.

"Home sweet home." Jess said as she got out.

"Is she okay?" Matt looked at Derek.

"I think she's worried about JT."

"I talked to him this morning. He delivered Kitrick to Colorado and he's heading back to LA. He said he though about nothing else but crashing the plane into the nearest mountain peak and getting rid of the bastard."

"What stopped him?"

"All he could see was Jess standing over his grave with a disapproving look on her face." Matt smiled. "Even two thousand miles away my sister can make an unscrupulous man like JT rethink his path in life."

"I have a feeling that JT may have some connections more unscrupulous then himself behind those Supermax walls." Matt looked at his brother in law.

"You think?" They both got out of the plane to greet the rest of the family.


Cody tucked in his children one at a time. He said a prayer for each of them and then headed to his own room. It had been a long time since the house was at peace. Sarah had gone to sleep an hour ago after feeding the boys one last time. She had been such a trouper the last few weeks. Matt had talked to him and Cutler about some changes he wanted to make and some people he wanted to hire to take some of the burden off the three of them and Jess. Matt had learned over the last few weeks that they all needed something more then the job now and then. Cody opened the bedroom door. The room was basking in candle light.

"It took you long enough Hawkes." Sarah was laying on the bed with nothing on but a smile.

"I thought you were sleeping." She smiled. Her blond hair shining in the candle light.

"You would rather me sleeping?"

"Not on your life baby." He walked to the bed and leaned over and kissed her. He was going to like having more help at the station and spending more time with his wife and kids. He could get really used to this. Sarah pulled him down and kissed him. It would be a long time before either one of them would forget that night. Because… it was the first night the boys slept though the night.


Matt woke up early and put a pot of coffee on and watched the sunrise over the mountains for the first time in over a week. He had been a fool to think all those years ago that Jess would want to leave the beauty of the mountains. He never wanted to so why should she. He felt warm arms wrap around him.

"Come back to bed." Robin whispered.

"Marry me." He wasn't sure why the words slipped out just then but he didn't regret saying them.

"Matt…" He turned and took her in his arms.

"Twenty years is a long time Robin. We know each other. I love you and I've loved you for as long as I can remember. Please just think about it."

"Matt. I don't have to think about it. I love you too. Yes…I'll marry you." Matt picked her up and kissed.

"I love you Robin." Matt figured it would be along time before the happiness he was feeling right now would ware off.


Jesse Hawkes watched the sun rise on his back porch. His wife came outside and joined him.

"I can't believe how peaceful it is this morning."

"The kids are home. It won't stay that way for long." Jackie smiled.

"It won't be long and we'll have another grandbaby."

"And another daughter-in-law." Jesse smiled. "It's about time that boy came to his senses."

"Things are going to be different around here." Jesse looked at his wife.

"Yeah all for the better my love. All for the better."

The End

I have a ton of more Idea's on the way so check back soon!!! I will also try to finish Beginnings before I start anything else!