A/N: Not mine; don't sue!
Valentine's Day by Linkin Park
And the clouds above move closer, looking so dissatisfied
And the ground below grew colder, as they put you down inside
Denny was gone. She could finally move on.
Izzie wondered when she'd become a poet. She let her thoughts continue on down their lyrical path, for her own amusement as much as anything else.
A weight had been lifted off her shoulders, one that had weighed her down for far too long. A hanging cloud of fog had lifted and now she could…could…ok she was a doctor not a poet.
But still, it was nice that she wasn't the crazy girl seeing her dead boyfriend everywhere now. Now she could get to the root of the problem and deal with it. Remove it, like a true surgeon.
She didn't need anyone to hold her hand, and even if she did, she had Alex. She didn't need Denny. Didn't want Denny. Was glad to be rid of him permanently.
But then why did she feel so sad about it?
Fever by Michael Bublé
Sun lights up the daytime, moon lights up the night
I light up when you call my name, and you know I'm going to treat you right
You give me fever, when you kiss me, fever when you hold me tight
Fever, in the morning, fever all through the night
Whiskey burned a trail down his throat, but at least it was the good stuff. Single malt scotch. Damn it. It always came back to that didn't it? Back to her.
He liked to think of himself as a man of control, he knew that he could never control everything, but his actions, those were completely under his control. At least that's how it was in the before. Here in the after, he was no longer so sure.
Silently Joe poured him another. Owen nodded. Joe was a good man. He wasn't the kind of bartender who was chatty, asking ridiculous questions like "What brings you here?"
What did bring him here? He knew why he was in a bar, trying to drown out every thought in his head, which if not about a pushy yet beautiful doctor looked like scenes from a graphic war movie. He wasn't sure why he came to Seattle Grace. He was a practical man; he wouldn't have chosen this place, so near everything he was desperate to avoid, only because of a woman. The last thing he needed right now was a relationship, he had shit that no one else should ever need to deal with. He really should back off, he'd only mess things up right now.
But he never did. He was used to going after whatever it was he wanted. He was a direct approach kind of guy. And no matter how he'd use logic to convince himself of everything wrong about a relationship with Cristina Yang, he'd see her and all of that would fly out the window and all he could think of was how she tasted when he kissed her.
He downed his drink and felt the burn once more. She tasted like single malt scotch, but the burn she stirred in him went much deeper than anything liquor could summon. He began to convince himself that she was exactly what he needed. He would be a better man for her; she made him a better man.
Of course that just might be the burn from the thought of kissing her again talking.
Flagpole Sitta by Harvey Danger
I had visions, I was in them, I was looking into the mirror
To see a little bit clearer, the rottenness and evil in me
Fingertips have memories; mine can't forget the curves of your body
It was wrong. So very wrong. He knew it, and it bothered him. Yet still he did it. Jesus, it was Addison all over again.
But it was different. So very different. With Addison it was a simple feeling bad because you're sleeping with your best friend's wife, which ok, wasn't really simple at all. But it was easy to see why it felt wrong yet right with her. He loved her, but he also loved Derek, in a strictly best friend kind of way.
Little Grey was so young, too young. Never mind that he'd slept with a nineteen year old a little less than a year ago and felt no guilt about it. This was far different. There were actual feelings involved here that went past proving he actually could still get a nineteen year old into bed. Feelings and sex didn't mix well; see again Addison. Granted it had worked with Torres, but that was friendship, not…
No, he didn't feel that for little Grey. He may have felt it for Addison but not Little Grey.
He couldn't love Lexie.
He was a very bad man.
The Good Life by Weezer
When I look in the mirror, I can't believe what I see
Tell me, who's that funky dude, staring back at me?
Shakin' booty, makin' sweet love all the night
It's time I got back to the Good Life
Derek could not dance, which sucked as Meredith loved to dance. It was one of those times she couldn't ignore how much of a geek he really was.
Just like how he got way too excited when Star Wars came on television a few nights ago. And then proceeded to quote lines from the movie as he watched. Meredith just buried her head in her mother's journals and ignored the newfound understanding of why Derek liked the glow-in-the-dark condoms so much.
Just like she ignored the stories his college buddies she "accidentally" overheard. She didn't want to think about what he was like then because the more she thought about the more she felt that she never would've given Derek the time of day in her own college days.
Sometimes she wondered why she was with him, and what besides the hair she found so attractive about him. Then he'd smile at her, that thousand watt smile and take her into his arms and begin kissing her senseless.
So, yes he was a geek, but he was her geek, so it was all right.
S.E.X. by Nickelback
S is for the simple need, E is for the ecstasy, X is just to mark the spot because that's all you really want
Yes, Sex is always the answer, it's never a question, 'cause the answer's yes
As a rule, Mark Sloan never turned down sex. He felt it was that like that whole not looking a gift horse in the mouth. You just say yes and are grateful for the opportunity.
It was wonderful. Sex was solution (and cause) of every problem in life.
Then she came along and broke his penis. And how he wished he meant figuratively.
She broke the organ that meant so much, and like a blind man he was forced to develop other not so used parts. He was forced to learn what it was like to have a sex-free relationship, and was terrified to find that it wasn't so horrible.
She was changing him.
Float by Flogging Molly
But don't, no, don't sink the boat that you built, you built to keep afloat
For the longest of times it was all about surgeries, hard work and being the best. And she liked it that way; she reveled in the satisfaction that came from knowing no one else knew better than her. Loved the control surgery and knowledge gave her life. Her life was a careful plan to continue that path to the top.
Then he, she refused to even think his name, came along and messed everything up.
Now she had her life back in order, but it was too fragile to withstand him, bad-ass army doctor who breezed in all too carelessly and acted like he owned the place. She had always been attracted to such men, and he was no exception, but she would not let herself fall again, not for a man so careless. But then he left and it no longer mattered because thoughts didn't count.
Then he came back. At first, he only reaffirmed her previous analysis, attractive but dangerous and to be avoided at all costs, least he threaten her precious control. Only, then he showed his own fragile side, and she could see he was barely hanging on himself.
But she still didn't let herself fall, least he drag them both down. She wasn't sure if she could resurface this time. But every time she pushed, he pulled. Every time her mind screamed that she knew better, her body would lean in. And when the moment came to reject him, she said, "Yes."
Hurt by Nine Inch Nails
I will let you down, I will make you hurt
Meredith didn't know why she did it. Every time. Maybe she was suicidal, or at the very least self-destructive. After all, bright and shiny people don't let themselves drown.
Derek should avoid her. She was poison. And maybe he was finally getting that because he was acting strange and spending a lot of time with the ex. The one he chose over her.
But they'd done that dance so much, the break-up, and make-up. It was time for something different. After all, they've been good this time, domestic rather than dramatic. It was different this time. It was good.
But then why did she worry she was about to hurt him again?
Numb by Linkin Park
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface
Lately, George felt lost. Like he was a supporting character in Seattle Grace where he'd once been a main character. A character you were invested in and cared about. But now…
It was easy to feel second to the drama story that was Meredith and Derek. Those two could start their own soap if the doctor thing didn't work out. And George always felt that Cristina pushed him (actually everybody as far as he could tell) aside as something useless standing in her way. Alex and George never got along, so he expected nothing from that ass.
But what about Izzie? Even in the midst of her Denny troubles, George never felt she neglected him. Now, though, he knew she was off, and everyone was ignoring him. He saw the warning signs, but felt he could do nothing.
For that matter, what about Lexie? She'd stepped in where Izzie left for Alex after their relationship went down a road it probably shouldn't have, though George suspected was destined to happen anyway. Lexie had been there, then one day she just wasn't.
He was still here, after every disappointment, he was here. He was still here, even though he could feel himself fading.
This Is How A Heart Breaks by Rob Thomas
And make the most out of life
Now don't you take it for granted
Life is like a mean machine
It made a mess outta me
Life had been tough for Callie Torres.
Professionally, she'd won chief, only to fail. Personally, every relationship had started so bright only to fail as well. George had married her, only to cheat. Mark had been the ultimate friend with benefits, only to fall in love with an intern. Erica had opened her eyes to a part of her she hadn't even know existed, only to leave.
Life had been tough, cutting her down a piece at a time. She mended bones, mending a life was beyond her. But still, she was a tough girl. She could beat out life. And so she put on a bright smile and faced it all head-on, only allowing brief moments of weakness. She blamed these moments entirely on the gossip machine that was Seattle Grace; if not for the whispering and overheard mumblings she wouldn't have to be reminded every day of her failings. Damn gossip. And damn love for that matter.
Of course, she was considering giving them a second chance when Arizona's lips touched hers.
Chinese Chicken by Bare Naked Ladies
I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve, I have a history of taking off my shirt
Alex never understood avoidance. Denial he got. He'd seen it everyday from his mother growing up, but avoidance was stupid. If there was a problem, he saw no reason to avoid it or try to sugar coat it. Life was hard, and to beat it, you had to face it and be just as hard.
But Izzie sugarcoated everything from baked goods to interns' incompetence. She absolutely sparkled. He loved it. He loved her.
He knew something was wrong. He recognized the signs. He knew he should have learned his lesson from his mother, from Ava.
But then she'd smile that radiant smile and he'd melt. Then she would follow it with a come hither looked and he found himself already hardening and removing his shirt.
After all, he understood that too.