Set after Edward leaves Bella in "New Moon'. After Edward leaves her in the forest, Bella is still determined to fulfil Alice's vision, after all the Cullens aren't the only vampires on the planet. What happens when she meets another vampire in the hospital where she works? Why did she fight so hard to forget the past?

Not a usual 'Bella meets the Cullens again' story – concentrates more on Bellas story and her journey to acceptance.To Live is To Love

Chapter 1: The Beginning of the End - Prelude

"If… that's what you want."

"I would like to ask one favour, though, if that's not too much,"


"Don't do anything reckless or stupid. Do you understand what I'm saying? I'm thinking of Charlie, of course. He needs you. Take care of yourself — for him."

"I will."

"And I'll make you a promise in return," he said. "I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I'd never existed."

She didn't know how much time had passed before Sam Uley pulled her off the forest floor, or how long it took to get her back to Charlies. She was numb from the neck down, barely feeling her shaking limbs or chattering teeth. While in the forest, her mind running a hundred miles a second, Bella had made a decision; she would end this pain once and for all. As she recovered from her hypothermia and surrounded by Charlies silent shadow as he kept an almost constant watch on her, she formed a plan and as soon as she was well enough she would execute it.


A month had passed and Bella had recovered. Charlie had been reluctant to let her leave the house at first but she convinced him that getting back to school and being with her friends was what she needed to get over Edward. Her father, glad to see her concentrate anything but a certain Cullen, agreed whole-heartedly. Today, though, she wasn't going to school. In fact she would never be going back to school again. Bella patted the inside of her parka, checking the letters she had written was still secure in the inside pocket. She climbed into her truck and started the drive up the 1-01 North before turning onto the 1-10. The truck shuddered to a stop and she pulled out one of the letters and left it lying on the dashboard. There was no other traffic on the road as she climbed down from the truck, leaving the keys in the ignition. It wouldn't be fair to Charlie to leave him with the tow costs when they found her truck. The grass crumpled under her foot and slipped a little in the dewy morning. Everything in Forks was always wet, the grass no different. She remembered the path well but she wasn't going all the way to the end. Instead she wandered about a mile into the heavy forest and sat down on a tree. Only the moving sun let her know how long she had been sitting on the dead tree but she figured that she wouldn't find what she was looking for until at least twilight.

A snapping twig woke her from her doze. Her eyes squinted in the darkness as she realised that the sun had almost set. She searched the direction where the sound had come from, her eyes slowly adjusting to the darkness. The bright red of her hair was the first thing to come into focus, followed by her pale face and slim body. Bella's heart quickened in a natural reaction to expectation though she hoped the woman in front of her might mistake it for fear.

"Victoria!" Bella hoped her voice sounded surprised.

"Do you know how long i have waited to see you again? How long i have planned my revenge?" Victoria took a quick step forward, so quick Bella didn't see her until Victoria was less than 2 foot from her. "Where are your vampire protectors?" She spat.

"Edward and i are finished." Victorias face fell. "He left because...because i wanted him to turn me." Bella lied her very carefully thought out lie.

"He wouldn't turn you?" She cocked her head to the side in confusion. "Why?"

Bella smiled. The most fundamental of human emotions would be this vampires undoing; Curiosity. "Edward left me because he said to have me as a vampire would hurt more than to know i was dead."

Victoria smiled a half smile, thought written across her face. "And here i came to find you and kill you. A mate for a mate." Anguish was plain in her voice. "I want him to hurt like he hurt me. To kill him would only cause you pain for a while. He would feel the pain of losing you for an eternity." She moved behind Bella in lightning speed. "To turn you would hurt him more."

Bella never stood a chance to move before Victoria bit into her neck. The pain as her diamond sharp teeth cut through her skin was excruciating. She could feel the vague sensation as Victoria continuing to suck her blood as the venom coursed through her veins. Bella felt herself being roughly shoved to ground before the burning began.

Bella was vaguely aware of sounds around her but she could only see complete blackness. The burning sensation came back, only this time it was different. It centred around her throat and felt like she had been a desert for day, gagging for water, liquid, anything to soothe the pain. It was then she felt it. Her heart sped up, hammering as if she was having a heart attack. It was too fast, she thought, any moment now it would burst out of her chest. It was beating like it would never beat again. As quickly as it started, it stopped dead. No more beats, no more hammering. The blackness started to pale and light burst through her eye lids. Bella sprung upright. The light assaulted her brain causing her to clamp her eyes shut again. The burning in her throat intensified like someone had burrowed a hot poker through her jugular.

"At last, you're awake. I didn't realise that it would take so long."

Bella opened her eyes to find a pale face with a fiery red frame staring at her. Her eyes stared back in wonder. Bella could see every strand of hair, every vain below the marble-like skin of the woman. She whipped her head to the left. She could hear a rustling like water running into a tank and bird calls so clear that she imagined them to be right beside her ear.


"Slow down there newborn. Do you not remember?" Bella shook her head. "I found you in the woods, bit you?" Bella continued to look confused, the thirst not helping her concentration. "You're a vampire. Come on, you need to feed."

Victoria pulled Bella to her feet and started to drag her towards the door. Bella put her feet down, bringing an unexpectant Victoria to a stop. "Feed on what?"

Victoria stared at her. "Humans of course. What else."

Bella was dragged out of the door and assaulted by a host of scents, it made her recoil. There was a deep earthy tone of the forest peppered with sweeter scents of flowers and ferns. She smelt it before she heard them. Victoria smiled beside her.

"You smell them too. Hikers, a great first meal. Smell the air, find the direction and then follow your instincts."

Bella sniffed the air and set off in a westerly direction. The forest passed by in a blur, every tree crystal in clarity. She could hear Victoria behind her. The forest had quietened to a silent whisper of the wind, almost like it paused to allow her to hear it. Two solid thumping noises accompanied a rustling sound that was much fainter than the last. She paused in her run and Victoria stood beside her.

"It's the heartbeats. The sound of blood running below the surface of the skin. Focus on the sound and follow it. They won't even hear you coming."

Bella did as Victoria instructed and followed the heartbeats. She could make out their shadows ahead of her, laughing and talking, ignorant to what was about to happen to them. She allowed her instincts to take over and went with them. Before she had time to think she had her teeth in the neck of one of the hikers. The blood flowed down her throat like nectar, so sweet and so quenching. She could feel the strength in her muscles as she held the weightless human in her arms. Soon the blood ran dry and she let him drop. Victoria was finishing up beside her. For the moment the thirst was gone and her mind was able to concentrate. She could feel sometime foreign on the inside of the jacket she had woken up in. Her nimble fingers soon had the zip undone and 2 pieces of papers in her hand. They were filled with words and names that seemed to make up a letter.

Your name is Isabella Swan, chose another name, and you were a human. If you are reading this then you are a vampire and you've finally got your wish. You were born on August 17th 1999 to Charlie and Renee Swan. Renee lives in Phoenix and Charlie lives in Forks, where you were turned. I am telling you this because i have been told that when you become a vampire you remember little of your human memories and there are some things i want you to remember and some things i want you to forget.

The letter went on telling her about her family and some details of her past. That she shouldn't look into what brought her to Forks but to concentrate on what her life had been like in Phoenix. It told her that she should try not to eat humans but try to survive on animals instead. It explained that being a vampire meant she had a demon inside of her and that if she eat animals she wouldn't be the monster it so wanted her to be. A photo of a brown haired girl had been with the letter. She was standing in the sunshine, red highlights subtle in her hair, a smile on her face as she brandished a small cactus in a terracotta pot. She turned back to the letter.

Don't ask why you wanted to be turned, it isn't worth the pain. Just know that i wanted to end a pain that was killing me and you can now live. It had been signed Isabella Swan. She had written this letter to herself. She had gone looking to be turned into a vampire and she had asked herself never to ask why.

Without realising it she had found herself back at the cabin where Victoria had taken her. She could feel the thirst coming back but for now it was manageable. The letter had asked her to drink animals, not humans. The letter asked her to change her name. The letter asked her to not to ask why she went looking for immortality. She didn't know why, but she was going to start living her life, unlife, new life by the letter, starting with a new name.

A/N – My first piece of Fanfiction in 5 years as i have finally found something else apart from 'Angel' that makes me want to write Fanfiction again. Let me know your thoughts.

This story is complete so updates will be posted every couple of days.