Lucarly: I feel like a lone MiJack shipper in sea of CarJack shippers. Pffft. I WANT MORE SUPPORT!
Aki: DON'T YELL!
Lucarly: DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!
Aki: LOUD NOISES! Lucarly does not own Yu-Gi-Oh 5D's.
If you subtract three letters from 'secretary', you get 'secret'. It never was in the job description, but after meeting Jack Atlas, it filled every aspect of my life.
The night he arrived, it became part of my responsibility to make sure that Jack's origins of Satellite were kept secret from the Neo Domino City citizens. If such information trickled into the public, his reputation as king would fall apart. Furthermore, he would fall apart; and seeing him in such a state would pain me as well.
After all, I couldn't help but sympathize with his emotional pain, no matter what the situation. On the nights when he was most lonely, he would vaguely tell me about his past; about his pain from betraying his friends, about the guilt that was slowly devouring him. And though I never experienced such things myself, I wanted nothing better than to take the awful memories away from him. To make it all better. This, I had to keep a secret though. It was not my place to be empathetic.
It was difficult though, especially when the bureau's mental health specialist diagnosed him with chronic depression; which, according to Godwin, was another secret that had be kept from the public. In fact, Godwin, seemed to completely dismiss the specialist's diagnosis. After all, "A king is always content as long as he has his loyal subjects."
Truthfully, I was the first to have suspicions that Jack was depressed. When he first came into my hands, I always thought that his sorrow came out of painful memories from his past. At the same time though, I thought he would get better as he adjusted to city's setting. But I was wrong; It only got worse. My mind soon began to draw the conclusion that his increasingly dismal nature was crossing the line into a human abnormality.
I didn't act though; Not until he first cried. I never thought it possible for him to cry. It seemed so unlike him. So out of his character. Nevertheless, I gently pulled him into my arms, whispering tender words of comfort into his ear. Soon after, I suggested he see the specialist. He detested the idea, but after more persuasion, he eventually agreed to go. And I was right. Jack had Dysthymia. Jack was encouraged by the specialist to take antidepressants, but the director wouldn't have it.
So Jack continued to gradually get worse. And it all soon lead to a secret that I had to keep from both the public and the director; his alcoholism.
Without the proper medication, I suppose alcohol was all he felt he could turn to. However, it rapidly into a serious problem. He began to drink so much, that it shocked me that he didn't ever get alcohol poisoning. And his hangovers were simply awful:
Jack's head laid face-down on the table, breathing slowly but evenly. I only stared at him sympathetically from across the kitchen. I didn't even bother to ask him if wanted breakfast; he always completely lost his appetite during a hangover.
I sat myself across from him, reaching out to touch his hand.
"Atlas-sama...Why do you do this to yourself?" I asked, tenderly running my fingers over his. He looked up at me, his eyes dead and dim with dark circles underneath.
"I don't know."
I wanted to get him professional help; Oh God, I wanted to get it for him so badly. Still, I knew the director's stubbornness simply wouldn't allow it. So I took matters into my own hands:
"Atlas-sama...Please just promise me one thing; please, stop drinking. I hate seeing you like this..." I said softly.
Jack grunted but nodded.
Surprisingly, Jack worked to keep his promise. He temporarily stopped drinking; however, he went into a withdrawal that was worse than all his hangovers combined. He stayed in bed for several days, trembling and muttering things that I could not understand. And the only thing I could do was kiss him on the forehead and force him to take multivitamins in order to prevent him from developing wernicke syndrome. Finally, he started to recover. His time being sober quickly evolved from three days to three months. I thought the nightmare was over until he returned to his flat one evening after being out late:
Jack stumbled into the room clumsily, and I looked up from my work; happy to see that had returned safely after several hours of worrying about his whereabouts. I stood up and approached him, but was horrified by the smell that emitted from his body.
"You've been drinking, haven't you?" I whispered softly. I felt tears form in my eyes. He looked at me with the slightest twinge of guilt.
"I'm sorry." he muttered.
And I forgave him. I always forgave him. Why? The reason was the worst secret of all; A secret that I had to keep from everyone, including him.
It was that I was completely and unexplainably in love with him.
Why? I didn't know. Perhaps it was because of all the time I spent all those late nights up with him, stroking his hair for as long as he'd alow me. Or maybe it was because I simply wanted to kiss him so badly, even when his breath smelled strongly of alcohol. Or maybe it was just because I loved those beautiful, violet eyes of his; even when all hope was lost in them.
Lucarlly: I know everyone's probably like: "What the hell, Carly? Wh'd you write such an emo, OOC story?" Truth be told, I've kinda been wanting to write an angst fiction for awhile now. And what couple better to use than Mikage and Jack? Besides, I've always seen Jack to be a character who would have problems with depression/alcohol. And since this is a pre-series fic, he would come out of it before the actual canon begins.
Aki: Interesting. Please review.