AUTHOR'S NOTE: I am just the worst. I hope it didn't seem like I abandoned this story, I've just been really – I'll be honest – lazy and plus I had to deal with life and all its baggage and whatnot. But I read over the reviews and it was nice to know that I'd gained some new readers, and I just feel awful for not updating or giving you any more of this fic. Forgive me? And I hope you'll take this chapter as a token of my appreciation and gratitude for even reading this. The story shall go on!
It seemed all I could do lately was either shake my head, huff and puff, or roll my eyes.
God, why did he have to be everywhere? Even when Adam was not around, I always felt him. Like his presence had taken up some fucked-up part of my mind. I couldn't think straight around him, I couldn't think straight thinking about him. He stirred up feelings in me that I never knew I even possessed.
He was going to be the end of me. That arrogant, over the top confidence he wielded wanted to make me tear my hair out, claw my skin raw. He was so aggravating, yet so entrancing. It must have been the age difference. Any teenage girl would be smitten with someone older, more experienced, someone who'd show them the ways of the world, open their eyes to brand new sightings, their tongues to new flavors…
But I wasn't any teenage girl.
I would not allow myself to succumb any longer to Adam and his compelling ways. I'd already had a taste of him, which meant he'd had a taste of me. Granted, it wasn't the same kind of taste Amy was probably giving up, but it was close enough.
I was going to have to find a way to kill my attraction to Adam. Mind-blowing Adam.
This was going to be a challenge.
I nearly jumped out of my skin when I slammed my locker shut and was faced with an oddly bubbly Amy. I put a hand to my chest as I glared at her. I really hated being snuck up on. I vaguely remembered the last time I was, I was trapped between her boyfriend and a wall, in a dark room, at an extremely unsupervised party.
I quickly swallowed the lump in my throat as I looked at Amy. Every time I saw her, I saw him.
"Sorry," she said, making a face. She cleared her throat and held out a fuchsia colored folded paper and held it out to me, a smirk plastered on her face. Way too much like Adam.
I took the paper reluctantly. "What's this?" I asked, slowly opening it.
"An invitation to my party on Saturday," she said with a tone implying that I should have already known that.
I read the words bolded in black:
YOU'RE CORDIALLY INVITED TO AMY DUMAS'S BIRTHDAY PARTY THIS SATURDAY BEGINNING AT 8 P.M. BRING SOME BEERS AND BRING SOME FRIENDS!
"Oh," I began, suddenly realizing. "Right, your birthday."
"Don't tell me you forgot," Amy snorted, red eyebrows raised.
"Of course not," I lied, scratching my temple. "Just… you're dad's not gonna be there?"
Amy chuckled. "Nah, he's gone for the weekend. With the neighbors, mind you. I could actually make this party go till Sunday if I want."
"I'm sure we'd all be arrested by then," I replied, only half-joking. "Are you sure you want to celebrate the big one-seven by getting fucked up?"
Amy was pretty much the queen of blacking out. I sure as hell would not be her babysitter.
She looked at me like I'd randomly grown five extra heads.
"Lexi, of course I do. Life is too short to be fucking … sober all the time," she remarked. "And if you're worried about me passing out and being taken advantage of like last time, don't you worry. My boyfriend will be there, making sure I don't get tooout of control."
My heart skipped a beat and I almost choked on my own saliva.
No. No. No. No.
"Boyfriend, huh?" I managed to get out.
"Yeah, his name's Adam. You met him yet? I've been seeing him for a while. I think he may be the one."
The one to knock you up, maybe.
There was no way I could rehabilitate if the drug I'd been strung out on would be right therein my line of sight, teasing me, haunting me. Addicts were pretty much known for relapsing.
But there were also different methods for resisting what you were addicted to.
Like being in a room with it and having the strength to walk away from it, to ignore it. To not give into its seductive ways, the memories of how it made you feel, how it spurred up things inside of you that you were completely oblivious to. There were always loopholes in these kinds of compromising situations.
I'd just have to find one.
And avoiding Amy's party wouldn't be a wise choice. If I didn't go, he'd know that it was because I knew he would be there, which meant, that he had a strong impact on me and my choices.
I'd have to face this thing head-on, chin high.
Maybe if I acknowledged him, he'd see how dull and completely undesirable I was. He'd see that there would be no point in pursuing me any longer, seeing as how the hard-to-get thing seemed to be what was spurring him on.
But how I'd be able to walk up to him, look into his mesmerizing eyes and engage in an actual conversation with him without my knees buckling just by the sound of his voice, I had no idea.
This would be an experience for us both.
The irritating sound of snapping and a hand waving in front of my face pulled me out of my thoughts. My eyes met Amy's.
"Sorry," I said, looking down at the invitation again. "What were you saying?"
"Are you coming or what?"
My shaky hands clenched and unclenched the paper.
Right then, looking into Amy's defiant, mischievous eyes, I knew sure as shit that I was going to regret this.
And oddly, I wanted to.
I blew out a timid breath as I stepped out into the cool Florida night, the streetlights greeting me. My hands were shaking, my heart was pounding, and my head was swimming with thoughts. I couldn't count the amount of time it took me to get ready, mainly, because I repeatedly kept rethinking my decision to go to Amy's party.
Tonight was the night. Saturday night, day one on the road to recovery. It wasn't like I believed I was addicted to Adam. But I would be if I continued to feel the way I was about him. I had to stop this early, before it went too far.
My hand jingled the keys to my dad's Ford Focus. I took an apprehensive look back at my house. My eyes traveled up to their room window. It was dark. They were already asleep. Good. The fact that they didn't know I was going out meant that they wouldn't have a reason to get out of bed, let alone get out of bed to check on the Ford.
I gritted my teeth as I deactivated the alarm. The little shit made a blood-curling beep-beep that tore into the silent night. I nervously looked back at the window and saw no change. I made sure to stare for a while, just in case a light came on and I saw my dad's outraged face peering down at me, caught like a deer in the headlights.
I carefully opened the door and slipped inside, shutting it. I put the key in the ignition and started the car, and thanked God it revved smoothly, barely making a sound.
I looked at the digital clock below the radio buttons. It was 8:10. Hopefully, he wouldn't already be there. I figured my plan would go a whole lot easier if Adam arrived after I did.
Checking my rearview mirrors, I put the gear in Reverse, back up, and set off to my destination.
Operation: Get Adam out of your head before he winds up in your bed, was well under way.
I rolled my eyes as I drove up to Amy's house. As expected, there were drunken idiotic teenage boys loitering all over her lawn, covering it in toilet paper, laughing their asses off.
I closed my car door and activated the alarm, stuffing the keys in my jean-jacket pocket, buttoning it back up. I ran a hand through my dark hair and blew out a breath, walking around the lawn and stepping into the house, the door practically wide open.
Loud dubstep greeted my ears as I made my way into the living room. The tan couches were pulled back in the spacious room, spread out so the partiers could dance. With the way everyone was jumping up and down, some with drinks and glow sticks in hand, the place looked more like a rave than a birthday party.
Some guy tripped over a keg and busted his lip. It didn't even look like he felt it, he was laughing so hard along with the few that witnessed his fall.
My eyes scoped around the place, barely seeing anything at all.
I saw a huge "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" sign held up high in the far corner of the room. I made my way through the hyper crowd and found Amy on the stairs with a plastic tiara on her head, talking to Kelly, half-full red plastic cups in both of their hands.
Kelly wore her blonde locks up in a messy bun, her face was natural for once, not an ounce of makeup caked up on her pretty features. Much more appealing. She wore tight dark jeans and flip flops, with a dark green Nirvana tee hugging her slender frame.
Amy, on the other hand barely looked like she had on anything. Scratch that. It looked like she once had on clothes, but they were half-heartedly torn off of her body. She wore a black shirt with a tiger's face on it, with three rips on her the far left of her chest, her purple bra exposed. It was almost as if the tiger itself had ripped her shirt. She wore black fishnets and nothing else below. Her red hair was oddly neat though, as if Kelly had come over early to flat iron it.
I'd randomly put together my outfit that evening. A black crochet tier tank top coupled with laced ruffles, a stonewashed jean jacket, suede zipper denim shorts, and black ankle boots with buckle straps along the sides. My hair was growing exceptionally long, and I had let my bangs grow out.
"Lexi!" Amy greeted me, nearly tripping over the last stair, wrapping her arms around me.
I could hear the liquid in her cup slosh and clash with the wooden floor. Kelly gave me a wink and waved with her cup in hand. I gave her a look and got the feeling she knew what it meant.
This bitch is crazy.
She let go of me and tugged a strand of hair behind her ear. She didn't look nearly as drunk as I thought she would be.
Neither did Kelly.
"Looks like all the fun's back there," I said, motioning with my head to the craze going on in the living room.
"Yeah, well Amy said she's not drinking until Adam gets here," Kelly replied. She pointed to Amy's cup with her own. "It's diet coke in there."
I raised an eyebrow. "Really?" I asked, looking over at Amy.
She nodded. "I want to remember at least some of my birthday," she chuckles. "Besides, the realfun happens when Adam arrives."
Kelly groaned and sat on the step above Amy, putting her drink down. "Who is this Adam? I feel like I know him already and I haven't even met him, what with how much you talk about him."
Trust me, you don't want to know.
"He's this older guy I met last year at some party. He's so exciting and amazing…" she trailed off, getting that look in her eyes again. "I don't even remember him coming on to me, I just remember… beingwith him. Damn, he knows how to show a girl a good time."
"You think that's a good idea, being with an older guy?" I suddenly asked. "I mean, don't they usually just want one thing?"
Kelly snorted. "Have you met Amy, Lexi? She just wants one thing too."
Amy rolled her eyes. "Fuck you. Adam doesn't just want sex. He listens to me, cares about me, and understands me. I feel it whenever I'm with him."
Kelly and I made eye contact. A mutual feeling passed between us. Amy was serious. She looked serious. A sudden hint of anger passed through me.
I am not jealous.
Suddenly, the air became too thick, heated. The song that was playing changed to an even more obnoxious one and I suddenly felt … crowded.
"I need to pee," I announced, earning nods from the two.
I made my way up the stairs and went to the end of the hall where the bathroom was located. I opened the door, turned on the lights, and closed it shut, blocking out most of the noise.
I needed peace and fucking quiet.
I ran a hand through my hair as I looked in the mirror.
What the hell am I even doing here?
I was just setting myself up for more trouble and I knew it.
I slid off my jacket and placed it on the closed toilet seat. My hands found their way pressed up against the cool outline of the sink, strangely comforting against my heating skin.
A small noise broke me out of my thoughts as I quickly looked to my left. The window was opening. I suddenly felt the need to defend myself, grabbing the bottle of Lysol off the edge of the sink, ready to spray it in the intruder's eyes. I backed up slowly, almost falling into the bathtub, catching myself.
The sight of familiar blonde hair made my hands nervous, and the Lysol dropped the floor with a thud, causing Adam to look up sharply. He was clearly as startled as I was.
When he made it all the way into the bathroom, I silently cursed myself for not getting out sooner. He towered over me and I suddenly felt very, veryanxious.
For him to do something.
For him to not be looking into my soul with those interested, wanting eyes.
I decided to break the ice. "What are you doing here?" I asked, my voice strong. "Sneaking in through the bathroom, I mean."
"Wanted to sneak up on Amy. She thinks I'm getting here later," he replied smoothly. I noticed he had a little box covered in silver wrapping in his left hand. It was then that I realized I hadn't gotten Amy anything. He noticed me ogling it and set it down on the edge of the sink where he was standing, eyeing me curiously.
Fuck, he was gorgeous. Everything fit him so well, every feature on his face demanded arousal.
"Rough night?" he suddenly broke the momentary silence, slowly stalking towards me. I slowly backed up, realizing I didn't have very far to go.
I tried to keep my head up, tried to look him in the eyes. "That obvious?" I ask, voice cracking.
He grinned. "Maybe not to most people. I'm pretty… observant."
I found myself moving around him, his eyes following me as I made my way to the door. I only got it a little open before he hovered over me, closing it back by simply resting his big hands on the door, it making a clicking sound. My heart jumped as his left hand came down near the side of me, my eyes followed it, widening as his thumb and forefinger locked the door.
I swallowed and looked back up at him. He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against mine. My mind was screaming as my eyes scanned his face.
"Stop," he whispered. His breath was warm and sweet. "Stop doing this to me, Lexi."
My stomach dropped as I saw the raw emotion plain on his face. It looked like he was in a battle with himself, trying to resist his desire.
Like I was.
"What – what are you talking about?" I breathed.
He let out a muffled groan. It was then that I felt the warm caress of his unbelievably soft fingertips slipping into my hair. A sharp pang of satisfaction vibrated in my loins.
"You know what I'm talking about."
"No, I don't. Amy's downstairs. You should go to her," I tried.
Adam opened his eyes and shook his head, his silky, thick blonde locks spilling over his broad shoulders.
"No," he objected, eyes boring into mines. I could not, for the life of me, look away.
"Why?" I asked.
"Because you'rehere. That's all that matters to me right now," he said, his eyes confirming the truth behind his words.
Don't, don't, don't.
"But Amy –"
He shut me up by colliding his lips with mine, ignoring my muffled protest. When I tugged at his hair, he only growled and tugged on my bottom lip with his teeth, coaxing out a frustrated but intoxicated moan from the back of my throat.
He removed his hands from the sides of my face to lift up my legs, wrapping them around his waist. He pressed me harder against the door, nearly knocking me out with his roughness.
His hands were all over me, grazing my breasts, his tongue wildly tasting every crevice of my mouth, inside and out, nearly taking my breath away.
My hands intertwined in his hair and I found the strength and nerve to break the kiss. His eyes were glazed over, completely taken over by lust, his pupils dilated.
My breath mingled with his as both our chests heaved up and down. I was grateful that he had me hoisted up. If I'd been standing, I was sure I'd have fallen to my knees.
I'd failed in my mission.
I was supposed to be getting over Adam, not getting on him.
It was then, that I realized there was no point in fighting the attraction anymore.