Disclaimer: They are not mine. But I really love playing with them. And it's not like I'm even being mean to them. I'm just playing with them properly. That's right Chris, you can build a car, but that doesn't mean you know how to drive it.

A/N: Mulder and Scully's eating habits make me hungry and bloated all at once. Shortest freaking chapter ever.


"I'm not letting you talk me into a stack of pancakes ever again," Scully declared, holding her stomach.

"You liked it."

"I didn't know it would be that big."

"You didn't have to eat all of it."

"You never would have let me live it down if I hadn't. I am going to be puking all night. And how in the world did you pack away a burger with four patties on it AND a plate of fries?"

"I just don't think about it."

She sighed and unlocked her apartment door, kicked her shoes off, shed her coat and plopped down on the couch. She grinned as she watched him do the same, and they both sighed together.

"Mulder," she said, giggling a little. "I can hear your stomach digesting."

He smiled.

"I'm going to have to run like 10 miles in the morning."

"Why?"

"To keep up my girlish figure of course."

She snorted and rolled her eyes.

"Are you up for one more movie, or should we call it a night?"

She yawned, rubbed her eyes and thought for a moment.

"If either one of us could move enough to put a new movie in, I would be all for it. Unfortunately I am feeling a lot like I just spent months with Willy Wonka and must now go in for a stomach pump."

"Lightweight."

"Glutton."

"We all have our vices."

"You're such a dork."

"I wouldn't be me if I wasn't."

"I guess that's true," she agreed with another yawn. "I need to go to bed."

"Then go."

"I can't move. My stomach hurts. You're evil. I'm going to go into a diabetic coma from all that syrup."

"You didn't have to put syrup on the pancakes."

She arched an eyebrow and stared at him for a moment.

"No syrup on the pancakes? Are you insane?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Have you been checked?"

"And you think I'm weird," he muttered, standing up and heading for the kitchen.

"Don't tell me you're still hungry."

"I'm not. I need something to drink. Want something?"

"Do I want something to drink out of my own fridge? Well gee thanks, Mulder."

"I am buying you a hanky for your birthday."

"Why?"

"Because you're snotty."

"Lots of food makes us cranky and dim-witted."

He handed her a glass of water and sat down again.

"Next movie night, we should have a veggie tray. That's all."

"Deal."

They half shook on it, keeping their hands joined between them.

"I think I might just go to sleep right here," she said with a small sigh.

"Think so?"

"Mmmm."

He took the glass of water from her hands and set it on the coffee table. She slumped against him and he slipped his arms around her carefully. She murmured something in her sleep, then settled into his arms. He picked her up and carried her into her bedroom, being careful not to bonk her head on the door. She sighed as he set her down on the bed, and he was intrigued yet again as to how she could fall into such a deep sleep so fast.

"Mul..." she whispered. He smiled and tucked her into the blankets.

"Go to sleep, Scully."

She made a noise of disapproval and her eyes fluttered open.

"You staying?"

"I'll be on the couch."

"Mm'kay."

"Goodnight, Scully."

He leaned over and kissed her cheek and she smiled.

"Love you, Mulder."

"Love you too. Go to sleep."