Another of my oneshots from dA, and since it had a rather...interesting response, I figured that I would move it here, too. I wrote this back in November of 2008 because of an assignment I had to do for an English class. No, this was not the assignment, but I did have to write a résumé, and thus this was spawned....
SasuNaru, perverted Sasuke, ooc, inappropriate résumé
Sasuke stared down at the assignment that he was supposed to be working on. It made sense only because everyone should know how to make a résumé if they ever hoped to getting a decent job, but that still didn't make him want to do it.
Sending a sideways glance to the blonde sitting beside him, Sasuke suddenly had an idea as to how to make the assignment more interesting. Besides, Kakashi-sensei always told them to try to be…creative in their assignments, and the Uchiha had a feeling that Kakashi—of all people—would appreciate his…creativity for this particular assignment.
He began to type away at the computer as he glanced at the assignment paper from time to time, just to make sure he had the format correct. Finally, though to tell the truth it certainly didn't take long, when he was finished, Sasuke clicked 'print'. Now, normally students would see the settings for the printer and just immediately hit 'ok', but the Uchiha paused before smirking and deciding to print off two copies.
Collecting his copies of the printed résumé, Sasuke tucked one away in his folder before walking over to where Kakashi-sensei was sitting in the back, reading his perverted book, and turning in the other copy. Now all he had to do was wait until the next day to see how his sensei liked his way of thinking, but until then, Sasuke had to sit and wait for the bell to ring so he could finally be let free from the hellhole known as high school.
Walking down the street, with Naruto at his side, Sasuke listened silently while the blonde chattered endlessly, as usual. However, it started to become a bit interesting when the topic of the résumé came up. Naruto went on and on about how he had filled out his résumé as if he were applying for a job as a ninja.
The idea of Naruto being a ninja left Sasuke questioning what he had put for the 'education' and 'experience' portions of the résumé. Yes, they could get creative, but to think of the blonde as stealthy in any sense of the word was laughable, and wasn't stealth an important part of being a ninja? Heck, Naruto would often try to sneak up on him, but every time the blonde would either crash into something, or forget that he was supposed to be quiet if he wanted to sneak up on someone.
"Sasuke?" Naruto asked, halting the Uchiha's thoughts.
"What did you apply for in the assignment?"
Now, normally Uchiha's were able to stay as stoic as a rock, and had be been anyone less than an Uchiha, he would have been grinning like mad, but Sasuke cracked slightly. All that was a clue to his mischief was the smirk that immediately took residence on his face after Naruto's innocent question.
Sasuke chose to remain silent as they continued to walk, nearing Naruto's house, which was simply down the road from his own. Once they reached Naruto's door, which had been tradition for them for years now—even more so when they became a couple—Sasuke just stood there, waiting for the blonde to head inside, so he could go home as well.
"Sasuke…" Naruto complained, "tell me."
Wondering if he should part with the copy of his "masterpiece", Sasuke decided that he wanted to keep it for himself, since he was certain that Naruto would burn it. Not to mention that he wanted to be there when the blonde found out about the job he "applied" for.
"Wait until tomorrow."
Naruto huffed, but it seemed that Sasuke wouldn't have to deal with an argument since the blonde sighed soon after. Well, it looked like he was lucky today.
"Don't pout," Sasuke told his boyfriend.
"Why the hell not?"
Sasuke simply gave his answer by stealing a kiss from the blonde before pulling away with a satisfied look in place.
Naruto scrunched up his nose, but the light blush that dusted his cheeks told Sasuke that his little lover didn't mind.
"Now, go inside, and when tomorrow comes you'll get to see what I put for the assignment, okay?"
"Okay," Naruto chirped, his previous pouting forgotten.
With that the two parted, leaving Sasuke to wander down the street to his house while laughing manically in his mind.
It was once again the end of the school day, leaving both Naruto and Sasuke in Kakashi-sensei's class, and as the class came close to ending, the assignments from the previous class period were pulled out.
"Now, I wish that more people were creative about the jobs they applied for," Kakashi-sensei started, "but I must say that I was pleasantly amused by some of them."
After his little speech, Kakashi began to pass back the résumés, and as he reached Naruto and Sasuke in the back of the room, Sasuke could tell that Kakashi was practically restraining himself from dancing around in glee.
"Ah, Sasuke…I'm happy that you finally decided to be a bit more…creative for the class. Perhaps you're not a lost cause after all."
Sasuke decided to ignore the comment, especially when he was slipped the paper back. Glancing at it, he could hear Naruto in the background complaining with Kakashi-sensei that he could be a ninja if he wanted, but that wasn't his concern. Nope, the little sticky note on the paper with his exceptional grade was his focus until Naruto shattered it.
"Sasuke, can I see now?"
With a smirk, Sasuke shrugged.
"I don't see why not."
Handing over the paper, Sasuke just sat back and waited for Naruto's reaction. First there was nothing, seeing that the résumé started out pretty boring, stating his name and address, things Naruto already knew. It was after that blank reaction that things started to get interesting.
Naruto immediately turned an interesting hue of red before dropping the paper on his desk and just staring. Sasuke knew that there would be more to his blonde's reaction, so he just kept waiting for it. Thankfully he didn't have to wait too long.
"What…the…HELL?! Sasuke! You didn't!"
"Oh, I assure you Naruto…I did."
The blonde turned an even darker shade of red before sputtering and trying to form a coherent sentence, but sadly that was not possible for him at the moment.
"Sasuke, it seems that Naruto is having a bit of a malfunction. Why don't you two leave early so you can tend to that?" Kakashi-sensei called from the front of the room.
Sasuke watched as Naruto looked at Kakashi as if he had just been betrayed and handed over to the enemy, but the Uchiha wasted no time in gather his and Naruto's things before dragging the blonde along to leave.
He was going to have fun.
Now, one might be wondering what was on Sasuke's résumé, and so the information will be disclosed.
-Address left out to prevent fangirls of Sasuke or SasuNaru from finding him and/or Naruto.-
To be the one and only seme of Naruto Uzumaki, involving regular ravishing of said blonde and making sure all know that he is taken by any means necessary.
Following Naruto around, befriending him, and then claiming him as mine. A long process involving inappropriate touches, "accidental" kisses, and eventual ravishing over an eighteen year period. Self-proclaimed degree in Expert Seme.
Staking claim from infancy. Pictures show as proof to the Uchiha's possessiveness to his uke. Other small children were glared at and despised for befriending the innocent blonde; even a few taunts were thrown at children to keep them from taking Naruto away. Later had the responsibility of healing a broken hearted blonde when his first—and only—girlfriend broke up with him while trying to keep from hatefully killing the bitch. Then spent years keeping other males from the innocent blonde, immediately staking claim to him, despite his ignorance. When other males tried to move in on claimed territory, the blonde became aware of the claim put on him. Later the blonde was no longer as innocent as before. Much experience in this area. Now writing this to make it aware to the world that Naruto has, and will have, only one seme and that is Sasuke Uchiha. Anyone foolish enough to challenge that fact will be tortured painfully.
Can please uke without trying, bondage, role play, cause uke to beg, various positions, etc.
Naruto's moans and screams.