For those following along we are now on chapter 679-681.

80 Kaguya

Susanoo opened up to reveal Black Zetsu looking at us. Madara was there too. Black Zetsu attacked Madara from behind by shoving his fist through him.

"I am Kaguya!" Black Zetsu announces.

"What is Kaguya?"

"The person the six path hermit was talking about."

"Who was saying what now?" I asked confused. I think I missed some important conversations while I was fighting Ryouta.

"Does it mean that…?"

"That what? I have no clue what is going on!" I shouted, but Madara screamed over me. Fine, I won't ask anymore, Drama queen.

"Something is about to happen!" Sasuke shouted. Oh, I thought that nothing was going to happen and we would all enjoy a cup of tea together. If you had let me go into the dream sleep that everyone else is in, I would be able to be having a tea party. Gaara would be there, and you (Sasuke) would be there, and I most likely would be there. There would also be little sandwiches and cakes and...

"I am not counting how many bodies I fly!" I shouted to Madara/Zetsu/Obito/whoever-he-is (Madara for short) as the mysteriously hidden ground chakra exploded sending team seven (and me) into the air. Apparently, the chakra is from everyone who is having sweet dreams instead of being awake and having to deal with this nonsense. Maybe it is better not to be trapped like everyone else. Maybe. Nah, I could be having a party right now. Or maybe I would be living in an awesome sandcastle made by Gaara. I think I would also have Kankuro serving me root beer floats.

"Let's get him before he moves!" Sasuke and Naruto ran at Madara but were caught in a strange web looking thing.

"Maybe not running straight at him is a better plan," I suggested like a good ninja.

"Everyone is going to die if we do not beat them Sasuke!" Naruto shouted to Sasuke completely ignoring the fact that there is three other ninja currently not having our chakra sucked out because we stupidly ran towards the enemy ninja.

"I'm not going to kill them," Madara explained how he was going to create an army with the people and how Kaguya did it before. Who is Kaguya? Everyone is going to turn into white Zetsu? Seems boring, not the everyone becoming white Zetsu part but life after this happens. Oh great, now he is becoming a giant.

"Obito!" Kakashi yelled out as a person who I guess is Obito fell out of the now giant figure. The giant figure turned into a lady with long hair, long horns sticking out of her head, and three eyes. She also had some wicked looking nails. It looks like she could stab me through the heart easily.

"Kaguya," Sasuke explained. So that's a Kaguya. I was kind of hoping it was a sock demon. I was way off. Kaguya threw Sasuke and Naruto away. They flew about six bodies in length.

"What is your goal?" Kakashi questions after a long epic staring contest that apparently we were all having with Kaguya. I mean she was talking, but I was not listening. Something about Sasuke and Naruto being like Indra and Asura or Haguromo and Hamura. I don't know any of these people. I know Jiraiya, who Naruto learned his techniques from and Orochimaru/Itachi who taught Sasuke. I suppose this is another one of those conversations everyone had while I was gone. I see how it is. Keep Nami confused so that she never knows what is going on. Let her walk right up to the chakra tree for all we care. She was only fighting a zombie to save everyone; it's not like she was doing anything important.

"This ground is my nursery; I can't let you damage it anymore."

"Maybe you shouldn't have your nursery in the middle of a pile of rocks," I shouted back before Kakashi could stop me. She didn't even acknowledge that I said anything. Instead, she just kept looking at Naruto and Sasuke.

"Let's stop fighting," Kaguya announced. In my defense, I stopped fighting a long time ago. That was Naruto and Sasuke.

"Play nice guys; her children are here in this pile of rubble somewhere. You could accidentally hurt the babies. Are they babies?" I pondered. Kaguya ignored my comment again. Maybe if I stand next to Sasuke, she will see me.

"I'll have you vanish right now," Kaguya said as we all started to float because of chakra.

"The ground is lava!" I shouted right when I started falling. Luckily for me, I was next to Sasuke who I grabbed in an attempt to use his body as a raft in the lava. Sasuke summoned a giant bird to save us that grabbed Naruto. Kakashi and Sakura almost died, but Kakashi used a scroll as a rope, and a kunai stuck in Obito's hand to save him. I am glad I was next to Sasuke. I don't think a third person's weight would work with that scroll.

"If either of us dies the world is doomed. We are the only ones who can seal her with our ying and yang power." Sasuke explained to Naruto trying to get Naruto to ignore us and just fight. "I only saved Kakashi and Sakura because they were right next to you. Nami basically flew in on her own accord."

"I did. Ryouta has a good throwing arm. Had." I agreed with Sasuke's accurate description of how I was still with them. "I would be dead right now if I didn't grab Sasuke."

"Do you understand?"

"I do. Sometimes my body just moves on its own like yours did at that bridge."

The scroll that Sakura and Kakashi were using as a rope began to burn. Naruto reached out to grab them. Kaguya threw some needles at the hawk that we were on and we are going down. I grabbed onto Sasuke once more. If it works, I am going keep doing it. Maybe Sasuke has some sort of amazing ninja skill that he can use to save me—himself—from lava death.

"Naruto you, you can float?" Kakashi questioned Naruto as we were all rescued by giant chakra arms and the fact that Naruto is floating in the air right above the lava.

"Naruto, seriously, you are the best!" I shouted out at Naruto from my perch in the arm holding Sasuke. A clone of Naruto continued to hold the three of us up. No, I need to be next to Sasuke, so I don't almost die. Who will I use as a meat shield?

"Chakra is only mine!" Kagura decided.

"Greedy." I pouted.

"I will blend all chakra into one again!" Kaguya announced. Sasuke and Naruto attacked her and Sasuke were flying towards the lava floor. He grabbed onto Naruto, just like I grabbed onto him, and didn't die. Now I will never know if my plan of using Sasuke as a lava boat would have worked or not. Curses, foiled again.

"Let's get Obito now." The clone of Naruto that is holding us up decided. Did I mention we are keeping Madara/Obito/Whoever alive for some reason? Well, we are. I feel like I missed something again.

Apparently, Sasuke was all right anyway. He can fly around on a circle of darkness. I want a circle of darkness. It seems oddly fun.

Preview from next chapter:

"Sasuke, Naruto she just went into a portal!" I shouted uselessly up at them. The two boys turned around, and Kaguya held their faces and looked at them while crying. Okay, that's not weird or anything. I still want her nails. I could use them to stab people, or I could use them to pick up food if I forgot to get chopsticks.

She continued to stroke their faces, like a creeper, and then black Zetsu was there to conveniently tell us all of the expositions that everyone didn't know. That's right, everyone. Finally, I found something that I wasn't the only one confused about. The score is now: my knowledge: 1 vs. everyone else: 1,001.

Bottom author's note:

There is not much Nami can do right now in the plot. She is just kind of there trying to piece together what is going on. I feel like not much was accomplished this chapter. Oh well, at least some of it might be funny?

'Gaara would be there, and you (Sasuke) would be there, and I most likely would be there.' This sentence originally didn't say Sasuke and it made it seem like Nami was imagining the reader being there. If you want you can pretend that is what she meant.