"You show up late for school, 'cause you think you're really cool, and you're on drugs. And you put on your headphones and you step into the zone, and you're on drugs. But the world don't care if you are or are not there, 'cause you're on drugs."


If I could be described in one word, the word I would choose would be unexplainable. Because that's pretty much what all my actions are. My mother and father are divorced, but they both continue to love me unconditionally. Hell, to the point that I could be considered spoiled.

Despite this I'm still a burnout who loves the taste of cheap whiskey. I'm still this sixteen year old who'd rather skip school and be felt up in public bathrooms at the local theatre. The brat who simpers up to mommy for a fifty spot to get fucked on a wide assortment of pills just because I can. It's not an escape for me, just a past time.

Turns out mommy isn't as daft as I had thought. Yeah right, it was Phil who found the pills and the ziploc baggy with the dime of weed in it. Phil who convinced my mother that little ole Isabella wasn't the complete angel she thought that I was.

So after a few screaming matches and a whole lot of running mascara (courtesy of my mother, not me), a descision was made. I was off to bumfuck Egypt to live with the emotionally absent father, while Renee and Phil went off to go on on their fifth honeymoon.

After arriving in Forks and having an extremely awkward conversation with Charlie, I split to my room and rolled up a halfassed joint.

This was going to be the longest two years of my life.

Forks Academy was everything the tiny booklet Charlie handed to me earlier had promised and more. Everyone was dressed up to the nines and had award worthy sneers adorned on their highly made up faces. Apparently, I hadn't gotten the uniform memo, seeing as my arrival was last minute and all. Wearing a wornout Black Flag hoodie that reeked of smoke and booze with a tornup pair of jeans to match, I was a sore thumb in the crowd of little darlings.

Most people would see the young faces of America's new generation if they were in courtyard beside me. All I saw were sheep.

I shrugged and checked my cellphone. I had about fifteen minute until class; just enough time to light up a spliff. I turned around and began searching for a bathroom when I saw a group of students heading towards the main entrance.

They were your classic highschool rulers. The beautiful, yet snarky blond, with the buff jock boyfriend on her arm. The delicate short haired pixie with just the right curves and a bust to die for. Then you had the godlike boy with the perfect hair, smile, ass- let's just cut this short. The perfect everything. And then you had the certified rebel of the group, the guy who broke all the rules, but no laws. The 'bad boy'.

I snorted. Are they for fucking real? I felt like I had just strolled on the set for a clishe teen movie. Jesus Christ. Now all I needed to see was a girl in paint splattered overalls and glasses and I'd be busting my gut.

After another quick roll of my eyes I ducked into a bathroom and looked around before opening the window by the sink and lighting up. After few deep inhales I started to get a small buzz before I felt the joint being taken from my fingers.

"Tha fuck man?!" I snapped, eyes still closed trying to cling to my mild buzz.

At the sound of a giggle I opened my eyes enough to throw a glare at the girl infront of me. The girl produced another giggle before taking a hit of joint. She spluttered a bit. I laughed at her, "Don't be wasting my green bitch."

She glared. "I'm not! It's been a few weeks. We can't all be potheads."

"Your loss." I said before stealing my joint back.

The girl observed me for a few minutes. I ignored her as I began to enjoy the effects of some well grown weed. This would be so much better with a bong...

"I like your hoodie." The girl said approvingly, with a nod.

It took me several minutes to regain my sense of awareness. After looking up, I spared the girl in question a quick giggle (she resembled Tinkerbell for crying outloud!) before replying, "Me too man."

The girl rolled her eyes. "You new here?"

"Fuckin' obviously."

It was silent for a few minutes.

"You're really pretty."

My eyes widened comically at that. "Woaaah! I don't swing and pitch buddy."

The girl let out a loud and obnoxious laugh at that. "What?"

I couldn't help but laugh my ass off as well. "I don't want none of that Katy Perry shit on my first day!"

The girl and me shared a look before tearing into peals of laughter out of basically nothing. "So, so," the girl began saying, as she gasped for air, "You thought I was trying to iniate a Brokeback moment?"

I wheezed out and barely understandable reply, "Hell, why wouldn't you? I am dazzling."

Cue more laughter.

After I laughed about all I could laugh a sudden thought hit me. "I am so starving."

So after a twenty minute walk that mainy consisted of stumbling and lame jokes that definitely wouldn't be as funny as they three hours later, me and the mystery girl ordered some Taco Bell.

"Fuck, I love me some tacos," the girl drooled.

"Fuck tacos, nachos for the motherfuckin' win." I said as I doused my chips in cheese and sauce.

We ate in silence for several minutes before the pixie spoke up. "You know, I haven't had this fun in ages." she mused.

I snorted. This was basically an everyday occurance for me. "You don't say?"

"I've always wanted a druggie buddy! Imagine all the crazy and zany adventures we could get up to!"

I snorted. Seriously, who the fuck says zany? "Awesome."

"What's your name?" The girl inquired.

I watched as she took a dainty bite of her taco, compared to me, who just shoved nacho after nacho in my mouth. I thought on which of my my many nicknames I could offer her. Like hell I was gonna give her my real name.

"Call me Izzy."

"Ooooh!" the girl said excitedly while clapping her hands, "That's perfect! Well Izzy, my name's Alice."

"Sweet deal."

Little did I know I had just made friends with the girl who was going to flip my whole world upside down.


A/N: wow, this story has been changed around so much it's ridiculous. first it was going to be angsty and serious, and then I made it funny with mild angst. and now it's this.

This is a Jasper/Bella story that is AU/OOC (just a little tweeking i assure you). Rated M for sex, drug, and booze references. i know this chapter was cracked out, but it was needed. i know so far that this seems like a crack!fic, but trust me; it gets more complex in the next chapter.

Disclaimer; I own nothing. Title credit to Red Hot Chilli Peppers, and opening lyric credit to Weezer. Character credit to Smeyer.