AN: This is going to be mockery of poetry…! Not my best work ever (there isn't even a syllable count…), however I couldn't resist. Everything is meant for fun, totally don't wish to offend anybody! :D

Once upon a time

When it first came out

I had no money, broke, nada

Left it with a pout.


Three years later

It's a huge seller

Seeing it everywhere

Was annoying, dear reader.


But swallowing my pride

And the thought

Of following the "trend"

A twilight was bought.


It was amazing

The author like no other

The vibrancy, the characters

The same world felt like another.


I tried not to obsess--really

However, I wanted more

All around me, here and there!

I became a twilight-crack whore.


It grew worse by the day

I typed it into Ask dot com

Sites and shrines and art--oh my!

It hit me like the atomic bomb.


Even joined a community

On a lovely place called LJ

Check it out sometime

Great place to spend the day.


Fan Fiction was already

A huge fudging addiction

Adding twilight in the mix led to

More than one forum discussion.


The muse then twitched

It said "Write something!"

Knowing I couldn't resist

The bell gave off with a ding!


InuYasha has been my

Writing niche for a long while

Luckily, some things were alike

Though they're not in the same pile.


There are dripping romances

Sweet, full of fluff and sugar-coats

Though some tipped off the edge of OOC

Eh, whatever floats peoples boats.


Some are just dark and brooding

Full of pain and angst

I have an idea for one right now

So those are nothing I'm against.


Some were just plain incoherent

I'm known for creating a "theory"

But a few didn't click

Appeared like a fallacy.


Lord, let's see those couples, huh?

Whether they are right or wrong

This girl will choose the weirdest one

And search for it--sometimes for hours long.


Bella Swan x Edward Cullen

That's so bloody canon, people

True love is set, neither drama nor talon

Can separate these kids off their steeple.


Carlisle x Esme

Just so perfectly cute

Wonderful parents and mates

He's also a doctor to boot.


Emmett x Rosalie

Nice hot guy and lovely mean girl

Yes, her past is tragically torn

No matter; her attitude makes me hurl.


Alice x Jasper have a love

That's beautiful and quiet like ancient lore

But the provocative pictures of them

So "Whoa!" are what I go for.


Jacob x Renesmee

Was a "What the flip?" moment

To some it's adorable and fresh

It is, but it still causes a bit of torment.


Quil x Claire are

Innocent unconditionally

What do people think the guy will do?

Run to Vegas and do her in an alley?


Parts of the series

Are memorable

Like food in Rose's hair

Others, just utterly horrible.


Jacob x Bella won't ever be

I'm happy they didn't fit

Not because I prefer Eddie

More on that she led him on a bit.


"You're my exact brand of heroin."

That's how a vampire shows his ardor

Though if said to me--mortal or not

Would so get a restraining order.


Alternative pairings

Those are so much fun

The adventures, the romps

Delight (or pain) for everyone!


Jane x Alec

It's incestuous, forbidden

This is a creative indulgence

As long as it's not sodden.


Maggie x Seth

Why not, damn it?

If Jake can go with Nessie

Then this could be a hit.


Angela x Emmett

Definitely have gentle appeals

Felix x Gianna

Sexy like Heidi's high heels.


Jasper x Bella

Not my favourite fanon

Not bashing or anything

It just seems hard to write on.


Alice x Jacob

Loved from the very start

They'd have lots of twists and

I don't care that she's so short.


Anime/Manga is awesome

Look at my name for Pete's sake

It might be due to this, for

Thoughts of Yaoi I make.


Jasper x Edward

Funny yet scary if you read

The Proper Use of Inanimate Objects

Naughty things are done and said.


Edward x Jacob

Another personal rave

The chemistry is unexpected

It's hilarious writing them cave.


Don't know if it's been done

Caius x Aro promulgate along

They kill, scheme, ravage--totalitarians

Annoying like a Hannah Montana song.


Jessica should have

Gone with Mike since it began

Lauren x Anyone is bug-repellent

Yes; not her biggest fan.


Original characters are in a story or two

Always paired with Jazz or Eddie…

It becomes so tedious after awhile

Don't they ever go with other eye-candy?


Garrett had kick-ass attitude

Benjamin held good possibility

Don't know if Marcus is adored; but I

Say "Ha, more for me!"


Why do I read?

Occasionally--thank Heavens--write?

Ideas open from this boggled mind

Few appease, fewer bite.


There's just something attracting

About this magical place

Created from a dream

In Mrs. Meyer's head space.


Well-built werewolves

Gets some high points

Seductively entrancing vampires

Do melt a girls' joints.


However, it's neither

Nope, my love for it all

Goes to "Body Shine" skin

and cool telepathy call.


Whether you're a nerd

Or jock; a bitch or not

twilight brings groups together

Now critique with all you got.