AN: This is going to be mockery of poetry…! Not my best work ever (there isn't even a syllable count…), however I couldn't resist. Everything is meant for fun, totally don't wish to offend anybody! :D
Once upon a time
When it first came out
I had no money, broke, nada
Left it with a pout.
Three years later
It's a huge seller
Seeing it everywhere
Was annoying, dear reader.
But swallowing my pride
And the thought
Of following the "trend"
A twilight was bought.
It was amazing
The author like no other
The vibrancy, the characters
The same world felt like another.
I tried not to obsess--really
However, I wanted more
All around me, here and there!
I became a twilight-crack whore.
It grew worse by the day
I typed it into Ask dot com
Sites and shrines and art--oh my!
It hit me like the atomic bomb.
Even joined a community
On a lovely place called LJ
Check it out sometime
Great place to spend the day.
Fan Fiction was already
A huge fudging addiction
Adding twilight in the mix led to
More than one forum discussion.
The muse then twitched
It said "Write something!"
Knowing I couldn't resist
The bell gave off with a ding!
InuYasha has been my
Writing niche for a long while
Luckily, some things were alike
Though they're not in the same pile.
There are dripping romances
Sweet, full of fluff and sugar-coats
Though some tipped off the edge of OOC
Eh, whatever floats peoples boats.
Some are just dark and brooding
Full of pain and angst
I have an idea for one right now
So those are nothing I'm against.
Some were just plain incoherent
I'm known for creating a "theory"
But a few didn't click
Appeared like a fallacy.
Lord, let's see those couples, huh?
Whether they are right or wrong
This girl will choose the weirdest one
And search for it--sometimes for hours long.
Bella Swan x Edward Cullen
That's so bloody canon, people
True love is set, neither drama nor talon
Can separate these kids off their steeple.
Carlisle x Esme
Just so perfectly cute
Wonderful parents and mates
He's also a doctor to boot.
Emmett x Rosalie
Nice hot guy and lovely mean girl
Yes, her past is tragically torn
No matter; her attitude makes me hurl.
Alice x Jasper have a love
That's beautiful and quiet like ancient lore
But the provocative pictures of them
So "Whoa!" are what I go for.
Jacob x Renesmee
Was a "What the flip?" moment
To some it's adorable and fresh
It is, but it still causes a bit of torment.
Quil x Claire are
What do people think the guy will do?
Run to Vegas and do her in an alley?
Parts of the series
Like food in Rose's hair
Others, just utterly horrible.
Jacob x Bella won't ever be
I'm happy they didn't fit
Not because I prefer Eddie
More on that she led him on a bit.
"You're my exact brand of heroin."
That's how a vampire shows his ardor
Though if said to me--mortal or not
Would so get a restraining order.
Those are so much fun
The adventures, the romps
Delight (or pain) for everyone!
Jane x Alec
It's incestuous, forbidden
This is a creative indulgence
As long as it's not sodden.
Maggie x Seth
Why not, damn it?
If Jake can go with Nessie
Then this could be a hit.
Angela x Emmett
Definitely have gentle appeals
Felix x Gianna
Sexy like Heidi's high heels.
Jasper x Bella
Not my favourite fanon
Not bashing or anything
It just seems hard to write on.
Alice x Jacob
Loved from the very start
They'd have lots of twists and
I don't care that she's so short.
Anime/Manga is awesome
Look at my name for Pete's sake
It might be due to this, for
Thoughts of Yaoi I make.
Jasper x Edward
Funny yet scary if you read
The Proper Use of Inanimate Objects
Naughty things are done and said.
Edward x Jacob
Another personal rave
The chemistry is unexpected
It's hilarious writing them cave.
Don't know if it's been done
Caius x Aro promulgate along
They kill, scheme, ravage--totalitarians
Annoying like a Hannah Montana song.
Jessica should have
Gone with Mike since it began
Lauren x Anyone is bug-repellent
Yes; not her biggest fan.
Original characters are in a story or two
Always paired with Jazz or Eddie…
It becomes so tedious after awhile
Don't they ever go with other eye-candy?
Garrett had kick-ass attitude
Benjamin held good possibility
Don't know if Marcus is adored; but I
Say "Ha, more for me!"
Why do I read?
Ideas open from this boggled mind
Few appease, fewer bite.
There's just something attracting
About this magical place
Created from a dream
In Mrs. Meyer's head space.
Gets some high points
Seductively entrancing vampires
Do melt a girls' joints.
However, it's neither
Nope, my love for it all
Goes to "Body Shine" skin
and cool telepathy call.
Whether you're a nerd
Or jock; a bitch or not
twilight brings groups together
Now critique with all you got.