Title: Email My Heart
Author: cazmalfoy and sparks
Summary: Jack and Ianto experience the up and downs of a long distance relationship when Ianto is sent to Torchwood House for three months.
Spoilers: References to season one episodes, To The Last Man and Fragments.
To: jharkness 'at' torchwood3 'dot' co 'dot' uk
From: ijones 'at' torchwoodhouse 'dot' co 'dot' uk
Subject: You're an evil man for sending me up here.
Three months was a conservative estimate. It's going to take a lot longer than that to sort out the archives here. I thought Torchwood House had a permanent archivist? Why in the name of all that's holy did anyone let it get into this state?
Don't give me that innocent look. You must have known how bad it was up here. The only benefit is that I don't have to put up with Owen demanding coffee every five minutes. Oh, and there's significantly less harassment, obviously. It does make work easier when I'm not ambushed every time I turn a corner.
It's not so bad. Quiet, and I suspect I'll get a bit lonely – my nearest neighbour is three miles away – but there's some really interesting artefacts and records here. Photographic records of all the Torchwood branches, as well. I never imagined you with sideburns, Jack. They didn't suit you.
Please remember to feed Myfanwy, and give my best to everyone.
To: ijones 'at' torchwoodhouse 'dot' co 'dot' uk
From: jharkness 'at' torchwood3 'dot' co 'dot' uk
Subject: Re: You're an evil man for sending me up here.
I'm wounded that you'd think I'd send you up there, knowing full well that those archives hadn't been touched by a competent employee for who-knows-how-long.
Are you sure three months isn't a little on the over excessive side though? They can't be that bad, surely.
Don't worry, none of the team have touched your coffee machine; Tosh won't let us. I think she agrees that we (Owen, Gwen and I) will break it beyond repair, or blow the Hub up with it somehow. I think she's overreacting.
At least you have Internet access; you won't be totally on your own. The rest of us will be a mouse click away if you want us.
Oh god. I thought I'd removed all the pictures of me from Torchwood's records. Where did you find that?
The sideburns were not my best idea, I'll admit. It was the fashion and, despite how much I stick out now, I thought I'd at least try to blend in with the locals at the time. You see why I don't bother that much now.
I'm insulted that you think I need to be reminded to feed Myfanwy. How could I forget to feed a dinosaur that tries to eat me during meal times?
The rest of the team give you their love (Owen says 'When are you coming back? I'm sick of drinking instant shit!').
P.S. Out of curiosity, if you were pterodactyl food, where would you be?