Hi everyone. I know the title is kind of strange for this fic which I guess is sort of like a drabble? But I guess it sort of makes sense because a classroom is where you learn stuff and Erek learns that he will have to fight the Yeerks in his own way... so I guess it kind of makes sense. Okay, enough talking, enjoy the story and let me know what you think, good or bad! :D
My name is Erek. The sky was partly cloudy, looking as if it might storm later. And currently I was walking through the woods.
I was a little less than a mile away from Cassie's barn, a.k.a. the Animorph's secret meeting place. Jake called and asked me if I could meet up with them about something important but he didn't mention what it was. Usually I am the one to bring them bad news, impending Yeerk schemes and ask for there assistance in special situations.... situations when my fellow Chee and I are limited...
This often leads to dreadful sighs and complaints, especially from Marco.
I can't say I blame them.
I used to believe that if it were not for my pacifist-programming that I would gladly fight along side the Animorphs. After all, there cause is good. They fight to protect the people that they love. But the truth is I don't want to commit violent acts, even in defense. I hate it. I hate violence with all my being. I suppose they do to, it's very wrong for me to believe other wise.
I've seen the looks in there eyes after battles.... pure horror, confusion. Yes, it is very wrong to believe that they don't feel the way I do. They are human after all. Don't they feel infinitely more than I do?
But I do feel. I feel that all life is sacred.
I wonder what it is like to feel; to feel alive that is. I glanced around the green woods that were teeming with life in every direction possible. Up above in the tree to my right, a red and brown Mockingbird was chirping a lively song. Below and to my left, on a fallen log partially covered in moss and mushroom spores, a black and yellow banana spider was spinning off the last touches of an intricate web. In the far, far distance, a young deer was drinking from a stream. I sighed, and said aloud, "It must be wonderful."
I feel that all life is sacred, and I don't believe in any exceptions to that rule. Peace is a part of my identity.
I stopped walking and allowed my hologram to visibly cringe.
I sighed and started walking again.
I suppose it still is.... but my identity also consists of my actions in the past....
....I will always be different from the other Chee now.
Yes, my acts of violence were against the enemy.... but what did it matter? It was still wrong. I not only knew that. But I felt it as well. When I was freed from my programming.... after my actions, I still had the crystal.... And when I was allowed to do whatever I wanted and feel whatever I wanted to feel.... I felt deep, unspeakable remorse. But what does that matter either? I thought bitterly. I could never undo the pain I caused.
No matter how remorseful I felt.
It was times like now when I often wondered what the Pemalites would think of me, including what I'd done. Would they be ashamed? Would they regret ever even creating me? I was afraid to know the answer....
"I'm sorry," I whispered almost silently.
Soft rumbling sounded from the air. The heavy, cloudy portion of the sky finally let go of it's burden and small raindrops fell to the ground, pattering onto leaves and rolling off them, soaking up the ground. This water would nourish the plants and feed every living creature, big and small, insects, amphibians, reptiles, fish, birds, and.... mammals.
Never again. Never again would I harm another living thing.
I was horrified by what I had done. And I greatly disliked myself for expecting the Animorphs to continue doing things similar to what I had done.
But the Yeerk's had to be defeated. If they prevailed, then the humans would be slaves forever. All there hopes and dreams and aspirations.... reduced to a slim hope. Not to mention they would eradicate most of the species on earth. That kind of evil had to be defeated.
But the Animorphs get stuck with the difficult part, even though we both support the same end-result. How can I ask them to do something that I couldn't.... wouldn't.... do myself?
I would never be one of them. An Animorph I mean. They would never fully accept me and I could never blame them. I felt a sharp pang of something like sorrow when I realized that I would never fully belong to either of the groups of people that were the only ones who knew the real me.
I would always be different.
I tried to counter my melancholy thoughts with wondering what the Animorph's request of me would be. I shifted through a list of probably possibilities, but with the Animorphs I never really knew for sure. And when I tried to entertain myself by guessing, I rarely ever hit the mark. It could be anything.... anything within my limits.
I emerged from the woods into the open grassy field surrounding the barn. I noticed the sky was starting to clear a little and a light breeze was picking up.
((Hey Erek. You're early.))
I automatically looked up and scanned the sky. I spotted a hawk with red-tinged feathers.
I smiled and nodded slightly to Tobias who was flying circles over-head, keeping an ever-vigilant watch over the others.
I could see the rest of them gathered in the barn through the open window and even from the distance I start to clearly pick up bits and pieces of the conversation. I hear Jake's voice first, "Okay, so here's the plan. Rachel and Marco will go first. You guys will wait until.... Then Cassie, Ax, and I will catch up with the..... we'll meet by the..... morph into..... sneak into Vice Principal Chapman's house...... find the..... make a trip to the... pool..... and....."
There is always more than one way to get to the same result.
Suddenly, they grew completely quiet... except for their heartbeats and steady breathing of course....
Tobias must have told them of my arrival.
From now on I would use my existence to promote peace, love, and... life.
I projected an invisible hologram and at full speed, I quickly covered the rest of the field's distance and entered the barn.
I would fight the Yeerks, I decided, but I would do it my way.