Disclaimer: I don't own Greg or Cindy. I guess they belong to the Wayans brothers.
Story: A serious take on a not so serious movie. Greg hates Buffy. She's hot, but she's a whore. But that's okay. Because he has sex with Cindy. Movie: Scary Movie.
Set as an AU before Greg is killed, and events that aren't cannon but could be, beforehand.
Spoilers: For the whole movie, including the ending.
Warnings: Violence, language, sexual situations, etc.
Pairings: Greg/Cindy, implied Bobby/Cindy, implied Greg/Buffy, mentioned Buffy/Cindy, slight one-sided Doofy/Cindy, Doofy/Gail, and Ray/Brenda.
A/n: Written just because I wanted to. And not completely edited because I'm lazy.

Two to Tango

Greg fucking hates Buffy. She's hot, but she's a fucking whore. He doesn't admit to knowing she fucks other guys, but he does. And she goes on, thinking he doesn't know anything, and finds more and more people to sleep with.

But that's okay. Because he fucks with Cindy.

Bobby's a fucking idiot. Cindy doesn't want to have sex with him because she doesn't. Not with him, at least. It has nothing to do with waiting for the right time. She is having sex with Greg, after all.

He knows it started before that night they killed that guy. He's making out with Buffy, Ray's already feeling Brenda up under her clothing, and Bobby is once again pleading with Cindy to just touch his penis. He can't focus on Buffy because he's getting irritated, Bobby's sounds like an idiot and desperate at that, and for some reason he really doesn't want Cindy to touch Bobby.

And when they all separate, and he offers to drive Cindy home, he reaches over and grabs her in the car. She's confused, but unlike with Bobby, she doesn't push him away. So he plunges forward and takes her lips, moving to straddle her in her seat. His elbow bumps against the car door, but he doesn't notice it as he touches her breasts and squeeze. She moans low in her throat, so he takes it up a notch and slips his hands under her blouse. He's slowly grinding his crotch against her, massaging her breasts at the same, and she's still not pushing him away from her. This is farther than she's gone with Bobby, because he's never touched her underneath her clothes.

"Is your dad home?" he breathes out unsteadily.

Her eyes are still focused and clear as she answers him, and he wants to change that so badly. "Yeah. But he won't notice anything."

Those words are all he needs to hear, all the permission he needs, and he follows her into her house and into her room that night. He brings her to orgasm five times before he has to leave, but he still hasn't fucked her yet.

The next night is when they meet that guy, and his relationship with Cindy changes drastically from nonexistent to full-blown, even as they get angry with each other. Because make-up sex is so much better.

He remembers he was halfway out of the sun roof drinking and yelling like an idiot, before he'd tripped and accidentally forced Cindy to go down on Bobby. She'd only been down on Bobby for a minute before Greg could get off and she could move back, but the damage is already done and Bobby is too busy pleading with her to go back to notice the man in the middle of the road. They hit him and come to a stop.

Greg is so fucking angry that Cindy's beautiful lips had to touch that bastard, and it lasts throughout the entire ordeal. He's so angry that he's accidentally wrapping his hands around Cindy's pale throat, her throat that had just housed Bobby, and is imagining choking Bobby. He's sorry when he lets go and finds he's been choking sweet, lovely Cindy all along, even as he continues to yell and insult her, because he's panicking over the dead guy and he can't stop being angry over the fact that for one moment she was sucking on Bobby and really –it had been him that had forced her to do it, though he was unwilling about it.

Bobby still acts like an idiot and is still begging pathetically for Cindy to suck him for at least one more minute.

He takes back control of the car to clear his head, dropping them all off one by one until it's only him and Cindy left. He stops the car completely and drags her into her room, and she's acting ignorant.

"What's your problem, Greg?!" he remembers her hissing out angrily.

He answers her by shoving her onto the bed and slamming his lips onto hers. When she doesn't pull away, he kisses her throat and nuzzles it.

"Mine," he growls out, and she has a better sense of what's wrong.

And then he's taking off her clothes and worshipping her body, and it's all about her and he's not paying attention to himself. Except Cindy knows he's focusing on her, so she does something about it.

She's always been more of the quiet one in the group, so he's not really surprised that she doesn't say anything but push him back and quiets his protests by kissing down his clothed chest and down to his pants. It isn't long until he's just as nude as her.

He remembers Ray jokingly spreading a fake picture of his penis, and while he knows it wasn't really him in the picture, everyone jokes and teases him about it. And it's made him more than a little insecure.

But he knows she wants him and not Bobby.

Greg doesn't know how this all happened, and he doesn't even care. That's really the bases of their relationship. They don't know when they happened, and frankly it doesn't even occur to them to really care. They don't care about Buffy or Bobby.

Those two can have each other. They've already fucked, not that Greg cares anymore.

Now it's a year later, and he and Cindy are still fucking. He's more than a little smug to know that Bobby still hasn't even gone beyond touching on top of clothing with Cindy. Still, he doesn't know why she's still with him. Greg would gladly dump Buffy if Cindy wanted to publicly be with him.

There's a murderer on the loose who might know about their dirty little secret –no, not about him and Cindy –but Greg isn't really concerned about that. He's more concerned about her, even with Cindy more than angry with him for the fake beating earlier in front of their friends, and he's more busy pleading with God about the sweet torture he's in.

He's thrusting in and out, and she's setting the rhythm, and both of them and yet no one is really in control.

It's always the same and yet different with Cindy. They're just unpredictable like that, but it's always good.

Greg still hates the reminder of the fake photo and being ridiculed for it. He hates it even more when Cindy tells him he's not the only one and he's immediately thinking Bobby has a small penis. His pride wants to laugh at the asshole, but inside he's more than a little disgruntled to think Cindy's even seen Bobby's cock. He doesn't think he's ever been more relieved to know she was talking about notes.

He remembers vaguely hearing about Buffy and Cindy going down on each other at a party, totally wasted. His second reaction is to laugh, because Greg's own girlfriend has gone farther with Cindy than Bobby has. His initial reaction is to glower because he's utterly jealous his bitch of a girlfriend got to even touch Cindy so intimately, even though this was supposed to be before he and Cindy ever got together.

He feels vindicated when it's Buffy's fucking pageant, and when Bobby leaves, it's only him and Cindy and he has her up against the wall and already humping against her like a dog in heat. He rips her pants down and quickly drops his to lie at his feet.

Buffy become Miss Whatever and they climax at the same time.

The killer is still loose, but it's the least of his concerns. What does concern him, more than dickhead Bobby, is when Cindy confides to him about Doofus or Doofy or whatever his name is, Buffy's retard brother. She thinks he's not really all that retarded, and sometimes the retard stares at his Cindy a little too long and a little too shrewdly.

When they find out Ray and Bobby are trying to use the party to kill Cindy, Greg wants to fucking kill them so badly. And he always knew Bobby was gay. He'd always suspected Ray, but it turns out he was actually straighter than fucktard Bobby. The real killer comes in and he's proud to see Cindy nearly kicks the bastard ass.

They're in the police station, and Cindy suddenly has an epiphany, dropping the cup of coffee that belonged to Doofy. All three of them run out, catching a glimpse of Doofy changing into a whole different person. He's walking –no, strutting –away with cigarette in hand, uniform turned casual, hair slicked back, and a smug smirk on his face.

He jumps into a car, with someone who suspiciously looks like Gail Hailstorm driving, and turns back to look at them. He's mainly staring at Cindy in that split-second, and he licks his lips. That makes his blood boil hot. And then they drive away quickly, and Doofy Gilmore just got away with fucking murder.

The truth is, Greg fucking Philipe just doesn't give a flip about it in the end. In fact, other than the fact Doofus is away from his Cindy, he's actually happy that retard killed off everyone else. No one else to bother him and Cindy, and certainly not Bobby.

He can't help his nightmare that night though. He's sleeping and his dream starts out good. Greg's dreaming about setting up candles and soft music floating through the air, and he can tell he's setting some kind of romantic date for Cindy. But she's not there yet. He goes looking for her and suddenly he leaves the romantic room and enters what looks like that balcony that he and Cindy were in, for Buffy's pageant. Except instead of him and Cindy, he's watching with sick and horrified fascination as Doofus is fucking his Cindy against the wall, in a position he's supposed to be in. Doofy looks back at him, and that asshole smirks at him just like when he made his getaway. Instead of licking his lips, he licks a long line up Cindy's neck, which she bares more so that Doofy can have more access.

He charges at them, ready to beat the shit out of the retard who dared to touch what's his. He sees that stupid mask on the floor, along with the knife in his hand, and he notices that Doofy is wearing the killer's outfit. Doofy has the hand holding the knife against the wall to help support them, and his other arm is around Cindy, holding her to him. And then he's taking the knife and raising it, and Greg's rushing faster because if he doesn't Cindy is going to be killed. He remembers throwing himself at them and then the dream ends.

He wakes up feeling like shit, but he's feeling better already because Cindy's soft warm body is nestled close to his. He plants small, quick kisses all over her face and she sighs softly. Greg lies back down and knows he's one lucky son of a bitch. Bobby's gone, Buffy too, and he has Cindy all to himself.

He smiles at that.

That's right. He has Cindy. Cindy is his.

His only other thoughts are that Doofus better stay the fuck away or else the next time Greg sees the retard, he's going to kill him. More than that, the asshole better be satisfied with the bitch Gail, because Cindy is his and he's not going to give her up. Ever.

Started 2/8/09 –Completed 2/21/09

EDITED 9/1/13: Edited to remove the explicitness, just in case, though the excessive language and stuff can't be help because it's Greg and it's Scary Movie.