"I'm a Cocktease or Twat Tease"

A Twilight Teasing Story Contest

Title: Gone Fishing

Rating: M

Pairing: Edward & Bella

Vampire or Human: Canonish

Summary: For Ninapolitan's Cocktease contest. Bella's tired of the PG-rated status of her relationship with Edward, but does she have the courage to kick it up a notch on a boring night during a game of Go Fish? In my mind, this takes place during the summer between Twilight and New Moon. Obviously we know things didn't happen this way, however, so I suppose it's mildly AU.

Notes: I've never written a lemon before, and seeing as this contest doesn't allow lemons, I figured it would be a good way to get my feet wet, so to speak. Thus, I hope I don't make an ass of myself with my lack of lemony writing experience.

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Most teenaged couples, alone on a summer night in a secluded upstairs bedroom, would be up to no good. They'd be overzealous and overeager, pants off and shirts unbuttoned before the door even clicked closed.

Most fathers would have to worry about their teenage daughters being unchaperoned at their boyfriends' houses. My father had no cause for concern. At least, not about the thing most fathers are concerned about.

No, Edward and I were hardly most couples. We'd spent countless lazy evenings up alone in his bedroom, getting up to such wild activities as reading books over each other's shoulders, listening to music and watching Monty Python movies. I was never even late for my curfew.

Aside from the whole vampire thing, the father of this teenage daughter had nothing to worry about.

This particular evening, I lounged in Edward's room, flipping through a worn copy of Flannery O'Connor stories I'd pulled from his shelves, as he selected a CD to put on the stereo. I looked up to see his brow furrowed in concentration. He cocked his head to the side to better read the album titles and, after a few moments of searching, chose a jazz compilation.

"Good book?" he asked me, turning away from his wall of music.

"I've read it before," I responded. I closed it and returned it to its shelf. "I'm not in the mood to re-read."

"Ah. Well, then, Bella," he began. "What would you like to do?"

My eyes narrowed. That could've been taken so many ways. Unfortunately, I felt sure he didn't intend for it to be taken any of the really fun ways. I thought for a moment, before deciding. "Do you have any cards?"

"Playing cards?" he asked. "I believe I have a deck around here somewhere." He shuffled swiftly through a desk drawer and triumphantly held up his spoils.

"Those don't have naked ladies on them, do they?" I teased, smirking. He laughed merrily.

"You may want to try Emmett's room. Most everything he owns has naked ladies on it."

My eyes widened just a touch. "And Rosalie doesn't mind?" Edward's grin grew bigger and he leaned towards me conspiratorially.

"Rosalie's the naked lady."

We both laughed, and Edward sat down beside me on the floor, his back leaning against the black leather chaise. He slid the deck of cards out of their box and began to shuffle them in front of him.

"Show-off," I muttered as I watched the cards flip between his fingers, almost too quickly for my eyes. He just smirked and slid them out in a smooth row on the carpet before tipping the last card, making them all fall backwards. I watched, entranced by his little show. There were definitely a few perks to becoming a vampire-- not least of all, party tricks.

"You better not cheat. I don't want to see any super-fast sleight of hand going on here," I threatened. He just looked up with a "who, me?" face and flipped the cards from one hand to another in the air. I rolled my eyes. "You're incorrigible."

"Alright, alright, I'm finished," he relented, setting the deck down. "What are we playing?"

"Go Fish?" I asked hopefully. I would have suggested a rousing game of strip poker if I hadn't known he'd turn me down before the words even left my mouth. Our relationship was staunchly stuck in the realm of the PG, where no exciting body part went uncovered.

"You want to play Go Fish?"


"Bella, Go Fish is a game for eight-year-olds. I'm 104."

"I love this game," I said defensively. He arched an eyebrow, and I felt the need to continue. "When I was a kid and spent summers up here with Charlie, we'd play a hand most nights before I went to bed. I always told him I liked it way better than the real fishing he made me do on my trips." I looked down, picking at the carpet in front of me. "I don't know; it's just a really nice memory."

"I still can't imagine you on a fishing boat." He picked up the cards and began to deal them between us, back and forth. "Didn't you fall in?"

"All the time," I said, laughing. I gathered up my seven cards, cautiously holding them close to my chest, and moved so that I was sitting cross-legged, facing him.

"Still think I'm a cheat?" he asked, gesturing at my posture.

"I know you're a cheat," I confirmed. "You're dying to read my mind right now, aren't you? Cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater."

"I'm always dying to read your mind, Bella," he replied, looking more serious. Too serious for Go Fish, I thought, so in a classy move, I stuck my tongue out at him. He just shook his head at me, smiling slightly. "But you're right; I can't ever play cards with my family. They make Alice and me sit out anytime they play poker."

"Told you. You're a dirty cheat. I bet you'd make a killing in Vegas, though."

"What makes you think I haven't?" he asked mysteriously. I laughed, trying to picture Edward wearing his very serious face and a green visor, counting cards the vampire way on the World Series of Poker.

"So that's where the Cullen money comes from." He shrugged, a smile on his face.

"Are you ready for this? I mean, really ready? I've had a lot of years to perfect my Go Fish technique."

"Bring it," I answered, confident. I'd always won Go Fish when I'd played with Charlie.

"You asked for it..." He concentrated on the cards in front of him for a moment. "Got any threes?"

I didn't. "Go fish." He pulled the top card off the pile that sat between us. I tried to tell if his quest for threes had been successful, but his poker face was impenetrable. "Okay, my turn." I already had two sixes in my hand, so I asked for those first. He narrowed his eyes and handed one over to me.

"Got any queens?" I simply pointed at the pile of cards. He shook his head in mock consternation and drew one.

"Got any sixes?" I tried again.

"Go fish." I slid the top card off the pile and took a peek. Ha! A six! I smiled smugly.

"I'm going easy on you this round," he reasoned as I separated out my four sixes into a stack beside me. "It's going to get a lot harder."

"Oh, is that so?" I asked, leaning in towards him.

He leaned even closer, and said softly, "Oh, it's so." Our faces were only a few inches apart at this point, and I moved to close the gap and steal a kiss, but he swiftly sat back and focused on the cards in his hand. The ghost of a smile on his face told me that this had nothing to do with his control-- he just wanted to play dirty. And I could play dirty, too.

An idea occurred to me. I bit my lower lip and watched his face as he stared at his cards. Really, Go Fish didn't require that much concentration. Perhaps he needed a little distraction. I casually unzipped the navy blue hoodie I was wearing and slid it off my shoulders, setting it on the floor behind me. He barely looked up. It was fine; I had time.

"Got any sevens?" he requested after a moment.

"Go fish," I said, in what was intended to be a sultry voice. It came out just sounding like my normal voice. I decided no one could sound truly sultry while playing an eight-year-old's game. "Any jacks?"

"Go fish," he answered smoothly. Damn. Edward somehow managed to sound sultry no matter what he was saying. Yet another perk of being a vampire. We went back and forth for a few more rounds before I came up with another set-- four aces. This next step in my plan was going to be trickier-- it's easy to take off a sweatshirt without rousing suspicion. Other articles of clothing are much harder. I contemplated just cutting to the chase and taking off my shirt entirely, but chickened out and settled for my socks. I pulled the argyle articles off my feet and they joined the hoodie behind me.

"Are you hot?" Edward asked, quirking an eyebrow. I thought I'd been found out for a moment, but his face looked innocent.

"Um, a little." He stood up and opened a window.


"Sure. Thanks," I said, knowing that the breeze from outside wasn't going to stop me from taking off more clothes every time I made a matched set. He would know soon enough, anyway. I didn't have many items left that weren't crucial.

A few hands later, Edward had caught up to me with two sets. I wished he knew what game we were really playing. He didn't have a sweatshirt on; he'd have to skip straight to the good stuff. I knew as soon as he figured it out, he'd make me cover back up-- probably put on even more clothes just to be safe. And we'd languish in PG-land for yet another night.

"Got any twos?" Edward requested, interrupting my thoughts. I made a face. I had two. I glared as I forked them over.

"Ha! Now who's in the lead?" he taunted, adding his set of twos to his other stacks. I looked over my hand thoughtfully. I needed another set, soon, so I could get the real game going.

"It is a little hot in here, isn't it?" Edward asked rhetorically. I looked up to see him pulling his black v-neck over his head, revealing a snug white T-shirt underneath and in turn, a peek at his stomach. His hipbones jutted out just above his jeans, and I licked my lips distractedly. He adjusted his T-shirt and I tore my eyes away.

"I thought vampires were pretty much climate-controlled," I said. He just shrugged and went back to eyeing his cards. I continued eyeing him. Was it possible that he'd already figured me out? And was playing along?

We resumed gameplay and both struck out for several minutes. Finally, I drew the last king I needed for my complete set. Stacking the four cards and placing them beside the others, I took a moment to neaten the other piles next to me. I was stalling; this I knew. It was time to go big or go home. All I had left on, besides undergarments, were my jeans and a worn grey T-shirt. It was one or the other. I wondered if I should've started out more bundled up. This may have been my game, my idea, but I was nervous about how Edward would react when he knew for sure what I was playing at. I felt almost certain he'd sigh and make me put everything back on, but a tiny sliver of hope remained. I took a breath and opted for the T-shirt.

I watched Edward's face as I fiddled with the hem. He was staring right back at me, as if waiting, his amber eyes dark. Maybe he knew what I was doing after all. I pushed my nerves aside and began to pull my shirt up past my stomach and over my chest. Pulling it over my head, I shook my hair out and bit my lip, waiting.

He stared. His eyes didn't break away from mine-- not to look away, but not to look down at my chest, either. I held his gaze stubbornly.

"Bella..." he began. I knew it. I knew it was another family-friendly night for us, playing Go Fish and keeping our clothes on like little kids. My brow furrowed in disappointment and I sighed, getting ready to turn and gather my clothes.

"Got any nines?" I froze. Nines? He was just going to keep playing like I wasn't sitting in front of him wearing only a teal cotton bra and jeans? It wasn't my top choice out of all his potential reactions, but it was so, so much better than the alternative. My lips curled up in a slow smile and so did his. The staring contest continued until I realized I had to answer his question, and checked my cards.

"Nope. Go fish," I told him. His sparkling eyes left mine then, dragging all the way down my body before landing on the pile of cards between us. I could have sworn they'd lingered momentarily on my breasts. Edward Cullen was not so unflappable.

He drew the card on top, and judging by the shit-eating grin on his face, it was a nine. Now it was his turn to organize his piles, taking his time. I held my breath as I waited to see if he was planning on joining me in my little game. I didn't have to wait long.

"You know, I thought opening the window would help, but I think it's only gotten warmer in here," he remarked. He stared me down as he slowly drew his T-shirt up, revealing inch after inch of pale, defined stomach and chest, breaking eye contact only for the vampire-fast second it took to pull the shirt over his head. I tried to keep my eyes trained on his; I really did. But they drifted. I'd seen Edward without a shirt on before, but I never tired of it. If I were in charge, he wouldn't even own shirts. My gaze slid over his smooth shoulders, his defined chest with its smattering of hair, his delicious abdominals, down to where the light brown hair resumed in a trail that led into parts unknown. I'd done a lot of thinking about those parts. The last frontier. That undiscovered country. And I wanted to stake my claim.

"Your turn." He broke me out of my reverie and an inevitable blush spread on my cheeks. "Unless... you don't want to play anymore," he added gently. He was giving me an out, silently asking if this was making me uncomfortable. It was my game! Of course it wasn't making me uncomfortable! At least, not in any way that would make me want to stop.

"Oh, I want to play," I answered, giving the sultry voice another shot. I sounded a little huskier this time, though not quite to the effect that I wanted. Still, I was getting closer.

Several more rounds passed and neither of us could make any sets. I began to wonder if he was lying to me when I'd asked if he had any eights, but then he drew the card he needed. My heart sped up as he put aside his stack of tens, knowing that his only choice was to remove his jeans. This was an exciting new development. Maybe I ought to let him win the whole game.

Edward's hands slowly moved to the waistline of his dark wash jeans, where they rested for a moment. I hoped he wasn't going to chicken out. Moving his fingers to the middle, he worked the button out of its hole and then slowly, very slowly, pulled down the zipper. I watched his hands with my mouth open, eyes wide, unable to hear anything but the chk-chk-chk of the teeth of the zipper going down. He hesitated briefly before sliding his hands inside the jeans at his hips, lifting himself slightly off the floor and pushing them. All. The. Way. Down. He nudged the pants aside with his feet and sat before me wearing only a pair of black boxer-briefs. The look on his face was hesitant, serious. This was no kid's game. I allowed myself to take in his upper body before zeroing in on the parts he'd just revealed.

Oh, my.

He was hard. This I could tell, because the snug shorts left decidedly little to my imagination. I was thankful to them and their makers for that. I made a mental note to send Hanes a thank-you card for this glorious peek at my boyfriend's package.

A smile crept onto my face as I stared impolitely. He was hard, and it was because of me, and I hadn't even done anything yet. I took a moment to examine the rest of his lower body-- his pale, muscular thighs and calves, then back up to his enticing hipbones-- but my eyes kept drifting back to where they wanted to be. Under my quiet gaze, I saw the bulge in his shorts twitch just slightly, and I felt a warm rush creep up into my stomach. I took in a shaky breath and tore my eyes away, up to meet his.

"Got any eights?" I tried. His serious expression was replaced by a grin as he laughed and handed over an eight. "Were you holding out on me last time?" I asked incredulously.

He looked down at the floor. "I didn't know if I could handle you scoring again," he admitted sheepishly.

"And now?" I asked, stacking my eights.

"Still not sure." He licked his lips. I involuntarily licked mine in response. "I'm willing to try."

I debated internally what to take off next. Remove my jeans and I'd be sitting in my underwear; remove my bra and I'd be completely topless. Go big or go home, I thought again, and opted for the bra.

My hands reached behind me to to undo the clasp; Edward's eyes widened. I guess he thought I'd go for the jeans. Making quick work of the tiny hooks, I let the thin straps fall off my shoulders and held my arms at my side for a moment, holding the bra in place. Then I pulled it away from my body and set it aside. This time Edward's eyes were less gentlemanly. They immediately met the gaze of my nipples, which stiffened from a combination of the chill, the electricity in the air between us and the heat of his stare. I watched his chest rise and fall unnecessarily as he examined mine. He licked his lips again.

"Whose," I began, then swallowed. "Whose turn is it?"

Edward glanced up at my face briefly, then went back to staring at my breasts. He shook his head almost imperceptibly and breathed, "I don't know."

I looked down at the stacks of cards beside me and beside him, counting. We were tied in the game, but I felt like he was more exposed than I was. I brought my hands to the front of my jeans and undid them. He looked up at me, eyebrows raised.

"My turn," I said simply, and slid the jeans over my hips and off my legs. I thanked the Hanes gods again that I was wearing cute panties instead of anything ratty or embarrassing. They were a plain purple bikini-cut pair with a tiny bow at the front of the waistband. Now we were even-- a matched set. Each sitting there, Indian-style, wearing only our underwear. Each breathing heavy and drinking in the others' uncovered body. Edward's eyes flickered back and forth from my breasts to the thin strip of cloth between my legs; my eyes raked over his chest but always came back to the last frontier, where I could plainly see the evidence that he was feeling everything that I was feeling at that moment.

"Edward," I whispered.

"God, Bella," he groaned softly. "What you do to me."

I grinned, feeling a little smug. Accomplished, at the very least. I did this to him. Me. "Whose turn?"

He met my eyes, brow furrowed. "I don't... I don't know..." I understood his trepidation. One more round and we were completely exposed. I watched emotions flicker on his face, hoping he wouldn't call off the game entirely. It wasn't even really a game anymore. It was just... us. For the first time.

He stood then, offering me a hand. I took it and stood in front of him, our chests almost touching. I looked down his body; his shorts were peeking open an inch or so, but I couldn't see anything inside. He put a hand on my cheek and I looked back up at his face.

"Bella," he breathed, brushing his lips over mine. I pushed up on my tiptoes a bit, lightly balancing my hands on his chest, and captured his lips. He threaded his hand into my hair and kissed harder, running his tongue along my lower lip until I opened my mouth to his. My hands wrapped around his neck and our chests pressed against each other, my soft to his firm, and I stifled a moan. This was all so new.

Pulling back slightly, he pressed a sweet, chaste kiss to my lips. His eyes looked serious and smoldering. We stood so close.

He withdrew his hands from my hair and slid them down my body, lightly brushing my shoulders, my ticklish ribs, and settling on my hips. He inched closer to me. After a moment of just standing there, practically chest to chest, breathing heavy, looking into each others eyes, I felt his fingertips tuck just under the waist of my panties. My breath hitched as I realized what he was doing. My game had definitely been turned around on me.

Time seemed to crawl as he pushed the garment down, excruciatingly slowly. He held my gaze. Once the panties were past my thighs, he let go and they slid the rest of the way down. I stepped out of them and nudged them aside.

Now I was naked. I was entirely naked, bare, exposed in front of Edward and his wide eyes were glued to mine. I bit my lip and he swallowed hard, but didn't look down. Now it was my turn.

I mimicked his motions, gliding my hands down over his chest to his hips and hitching just my thumbs into the elastic waistband of his black shorts. I tried to go as slowly as he had, but it was hard. Just like something else, I thought, as the boxers inched down. My eyes were on his but my mind was on what was being revealed, opened like a very late or very early birthday gift, down below. I pushed the shorts just a bit further and they fell to the ground, where he kicked them beside my panties.

Now we were both naked. I could feel the heat from his erection radiating into my lower belly and creeping up my spine. My heart was beating so fast, and I knew he could hear it. I spared a moment to think of how difficult this must be for Edward, the vampire, though Edward, the man, seemed to be having a fine time. I trusted that he wouldn't stay in a situation where he didn't feel completely in control. I knew it wasn't easy for him to be so close to my blood and my scent in moments like this. The fact that Edward, the man's desire for me was beating out that of Edward, the vampire spoke volumes, and my skin flushed all over.

It was Edward's turn to bite his lip, and he broke our staring contest to sneak a peek. We were standing so close to each other that he couldn't see much, so he took a slight step back and let his eyes trail downward. I took the opportunity to do the same. It was time to discover the undiscovered country.

Feeling a little nervous, I took my time looking at his body, but my goal stayed always in my periphery. Finally I just gave in and stared openly. I'd never seen an erection before, except maybe in movies or internet pop-up ads. I had no basis for comparison. But somehow I knew the one I was looking at was very, very nice. I wanted to touch it. I wanted to lick it, and my eyes widened at that instinct. I definitely wanted to look at it some more, but Edward quickly pulled me closer, closer than even before, so close that the object of my stare was pressed up into my soft low belly.

He slid a hand back into my hair at the nape of my neck and wrapped his other tightly around my waist as he kissed me, hard. I gave as good as I got, and dug my fingertips into his bare hips as our tongues dueled. His hand around my waist slid lower still and came to rest on the curve of my ass, stroking gently and then roughly pulling me even closer against him. I let out a little whimper into his mouth and I felt as well as heard him growl, low in his throat, in response. He pulled me against him again, thrusting his hips against me as I held him tighter. His lips left mine for my jaw, my earlobe, my collarbone. A hand disentangled from my hair and trailed down my chest, palming my breast. His thumb flicked over my nipple. I moaned. He froze.

I barely had time to wonder if I'd done something wrong before he was moving around the room at vampire speed, gathering our clothes. He thrust mine at me and was fully dressed before I'd gotten my shirt right-side-out. He helped me back into my clothes just in time, because his bedroom door burst open and Alice appeared, sporting an evil grin.

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything!" Edward just glared at her. "Oh come on, Edward, you've walked in on Jasper and me enough times to know you deserve it." She turned to me, looking apologetic. "Sorry, Bella, but he does."

"Alright, Alice, you've done what you came to do. Now kindly get out," Edward insisted, ushering her to the door.

"I'm going; I'm going," she held up her hands placatingly. Just before she was out the door, she turned back. "Don't you have a curfew coming up, Bella?"

My eyes shot to the clock hanging on Edward's wall. I did have a curfew-- and it was four minutes ago.

"I think I see... a very angry Chief Swan..." she predicted, holding her fingertips to her head in an exaggerated gesture, "getting into his patrol car in his pajamas and rushing over to tear poor Edward limb from limb..." I knew that wasn't really a vision, but I also knew Charlie still wasn't too fond of Edward. I wouldn't put it past him to speed over here in his bathrobe, wielding a baseball bat. Some good it would do, but he couldn't know that.

"She's right, Edward, I was supposed to be home already," I said in a rush. Alice giggled and exited, tossing a reassuring "You'll be fine; he doesn't wake up," over her shoulder.

Edward sighed and raked a hand through his hair, and I could see how disheveled he looked. My normally composed boyfriend, hair mussed even more than usual, shirt askew, and if I could tell properly through his jeans, still very turned on. I felt bad for leaving him like this... Hell, I felt bad for leaving me like this. This was the farthest we'd gotten in... ever! The MPAA had just upped the rating on our relationship from a tame PG to a very respectable R.

"I know," he said. He kissed me gently and I didn't want to pull away. His kiss lacked the urgency of before, and I feared that without his mind being clouded with arousal, he was deciding we'd made a mistake. I feared we'd be right back to square one the next time we saw each other. He walked me out of his room and to the front door in silence, and I felt my fear become resignation. We were doomed to rule our PG kingdom forever.

Once at the door, Edward placed one last, chaste kiss to my lips. I was disappointed at the lack of passion, but I should've known it was a one-time thing. At least I'd gotten a chance to explore the new territory a little. We said our goodbyes and I trudged to my truck.

"Bella," he called out just before I climbed into the driver's seat. I looked up to see him wearing a self-satisfied smirk, arms crossed over his chest.


"Rematch tomorrow?"

My face broke into a huge grin. I nodded and got into the truck, starting the ignition as my disappointment melted away completely.

You're on, Edward Cullen. You're on.

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