Disclaimer: I don't own RENT or The suite life of Zack and Cody which I got this idea from

"Dammit Roger!" Mark yelled at the rocker as he landed face first on the floor "Clean up your fucking half of the room!"

"Is it my fault we only have one room?" Roger simply asked him

"No it's not" Mark agreed "But it is your fault that I can't leave the room without something injuring me!"

"How?" Roger asked

"Your bed is on the side with the door" Mark told him "Look at my half I can see the floor!"

"The floor is ugly moldy wood" Roger told him "Why would I wanna see the ugly floor?"

"The room smells!" Mark yelled "Like Fish!"

"Well duh!" Roger told him "I lost my tuna sandwich"

"Ewwww that's disgusting!" Mark told him as he stepped in something "Ewww what the hell is that?"

"MARK! THANK YOU!" Roger yelled with joy "YOU FOUND MY SANDWICH!"

"That's it Roger!" Mark told him

"No Mark I think there's another...." Roger disagreed as he played his guitar

"I can't take it anymore!" Mark yelled "I'm moving out!"

"To where?" Roger asked

"Angel and Collin's" Mark told him

"They have sex alot and they have a smaller place then us plus nobody is ever home" Roger told him

"Urg..." Mark sighed "Joanne and Maureen"

"HAHAHAHAHA!" Roger laughed "Joanne is NEVER gonna let you stay there"

"Mimi?" Mark suggested

"She has 1 bedroom and no couch" Roger told him "Your not sleeping in my girlfriends bed"

"Then why don't YOU move out?" Mark asked

"Uh....No" Roger told him as he continued to play his guitar

"Fine I know where I'll move!" Mark said as he went out of the bedroom followed by Roger and he started throwing out Coats and Boots and the Umbrella out of the closet

"What the hell are you doing?" Roger asked

"Moving in to my new place" Mark told him

"The closet?" Roger asked

"Yes The closet" Mark replied

"Your such a loser!" Roger said as he went into his room


(*Later that Night*)


"Hey Angel Hey Collins" Roger said as he opened the door

"Hey Roger" Collins replied

"So what brings you guys here?" Roger asked

"Weed Honey" Angel told him holding up the bag "We just got it and figured who better to share it with then you and Mark"

"Sweet!" Roger said as he took the bag from Angel "Can't wait to smoke it"

"We'll you have to" Collins told him "Maureen wants in she said she'll be over in a few minutes"

Swoooosssshhhhhh Buhbuhbuhbuhbuhbuh Doinnnnkkk

"What the fuck?" Angel asked Roger "Do you have an angry Animal in your closet?"

"Nope Just Mark" Roger told them as he started to smoke the weed

"ROGER!" Angel yelled at him "Your supposed to wait for everyone!"

"Did you lock Mark in the closet?" Collins asked "Again?"

"That was only one time!" Roger defended himself "He deserved it"

"So why's Mark in the closet?" Collins asked

"He lives there" Roger told them

"Who lives where?" Mimi asked as she walked in giving Angel a Hug

"Hey Meems" Roger said as he gave her a kiss "Mark lives in the closet now"

"Did you lock him in again?" Mimi asked

"It was only one time!" Roger admitted "He used my Eyeliner to do a crossword puzzle!"

"The real question is why do you have eyeliner?" Collins asked

"THAT'S NOT THE POINT!" Roger yelled



"You guys ok?" Joanne asked as she came in "We heard this noise"

"It sounded like a dying Animal" Maureen added in

"It's Mark" Roger told them "He's living in the closet doing what I don't know and I don't care he's living there because my room is a mess and he hates it"

"Thank Goodness!" Joanne told Roger "I thought you locked that poor boy in the closet again"

"Beacause he used your make-up" Maureen agreed "Rogey wears make-up!"

"So Do I" Angel told her

"Yeah but you do Drag" Maureen told her "So it's ok"

"Anyway!" Collins yelled "Weed Smokin time!"

"Everyone gather round in a circle just like that 70's show!" Maureen told them and they all did


(*About 20 minutes later*)

"Man I am sooooooo baked" Maureen told them

"I got the munchies" Mimi told them "I can almost smell the perfectly popped popcorn that Mark always makes when we smoke weed he can pop every kernel"

"That IS the smell of Mark's Popcorn" Collins told them

"I'll be back" Mimi told them "I'm gonna get some"

"I'll come too!" Joanne said as they went in the closet door

"That's sad" Roger announced "They went in a closet....."

"Maybe Mark found something fun to do in the closet?" Angel asked causing Maureen and Roger to laugh

"Jerk Off?" Roger asked Laughing

"You know maybe he actually did find something to do in that closet" Collins told him

"He's going to give in at night" Roger told them "You know it! you can't live in a closet"


"That dosen't sound to good" Maureen told Angel "I hope whatever it was diden't hurt Joanne!"

"Are you serious?" Roger asked "It's a closet it can hold exactly 3 coats,An Umbrella and 4 pairs of shoes! and even then it's crowded"

"You know it DID sound like someone got hurt" Angel told them "Maybe I should go check on Mark"

"Angel! No!" Roger yelled "Don't give in to Mark's closet weirdness!"

"But like you said It IS only a closet" Angel told him as she knocked on the door and Mark left her in

"Guess it's just us 3 and some weed" Roger said as him and Collins smoked some more

"Yeah....I miss Pookie" Maureen told Roger "Sorry Rog, I have to go make sure she's alright"

"Maureen!" Roger yelled "It's a closet!"

"And Maureen's gone...." Collins said to Roger "Look on the bright side! More weed for us!"

"So your not gonna go be with Angel?" Roger asked with a smirk "Cause God forbid! She went in the closet of no fucking return!"

"Then let her" Collins told him "I don't care if she wants to hang out in a closet"


"Collins? Where the hell are you going?" Roger yelled as Collins got up "Don't give in to Mark's sing-a-long!"

"I'm sorry! I can't help it!" Collins told him "It's my jam!" and Collins was now in the closet too.

"Fine screw them all I don't need them...." Roger said to nobody "I'll just sit here and play my guitar!"


"Ok how the fuck do you make all these noises in a fucking closet!" Roger yelled as he banged on the closet door and Mark came out

"Can I help you with something?" Mark asked Roger

"Uh...No...I was just around and I....."Roger stuttered

"You what Roger?" Mark said with a smile

"What the fuck are you possibly doing in that closet?" Roger demanded

"Woulden't you like to know?" Mark asked "Well My house is clean so I guess you can't come in because you don't know how to keep any place clean!"

"Well screw you I'm going in anyway!" Roger yelled as he pushed Mark out of the way "I need to know what the hell your doing in this closet!"

"Fine Roger...." Mark said as he walked in with Roger and shut the door behind him

"Holy shit!" Roger yelled "I'm stuck! Move Joanne!"

"I can't move either!" Joanne yelled "Angel's heel is on my crotch!"

"Mark! you dumbass!" Collins yelled "Why the fuck would you invite everyone in here if you knew we all coulden't fit!?!"

"I diden't!" Mark yelled back "You came in here on your own!"

"How the fuck did you even open this door to let me in?" Roger yelled

"I was squished by the door...." Mark told him

Knock Knock Knock

"Oh look!" Mark said happily "More company!"

"Mark don't you dare!" Maureen yelled "Is this like your revenge on Roger?"

"Maybe...." Mark said smirking as he opened the door "Oh Look Roger! It's the mailman!"

"Oh fuck off Mark!" Roger "Why the fuck would the mailman even know to knock on the closet?"

"Address Change" Mark said with a smile

"So is there a bathroom in this joint?" The mailman asked

"Yep it's the corner by Roger and Angel" Mark pointed to the corner hitting Collins in the face while doing so.

"MARKY! WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO YOU?" Angel yelled "If this creepy Mailman pulls his pants down....."

"You'll enjoy it it sweet cheeks" The mailman said

"Not as much as I'm going to enjoy seeing Angel kick you in the nuts" Roger told him


"Hi guys!" Paul said as he came in

"Of course!" Roger yelled "I should have guessed what kind of bizarre closet party would this be without paul?"

"I brought the whole group!" Paul squeed "Ya know....Steve,Gordon,Allie,Pam and Sue..."

"Oh goody...." Roger sarcastically squeed"Are they coming in too?"

"If Mark says so I mean this is his house" Paul said "Mark can they come in?"

"Sure!" Mark told him "The more the merrier!"

"Great!" Paul said happily as the whole group of life support people came in


"My....YGAM...FACFE...ISSZ...Squisahed...against the...walf" Roger cried in pain "STOP SINGING ASSHOFLES!"

"Mark can you open the door please?" Mimi asked "Roger along with the rest of us can't even move and I think someones penis is rubbing against my butt"

"Sorry!" the mailman told Mimi

"Ewwwww!!" Mimi yelled "Mark let me out of here right now!"

"I can't" Mark told everyone "I can reach the doorknob!"


"Uh...Whoever it is! you'll have to come back later! no room left!" Mark yelled as the door opened


"Ouch!" Everyone yelled

"Guys?" Benny asked looking confused "What the hell is everyone doing in the closet?"

"The better question is how did you know we were in the closet?" Collins asked "And why are you here?"

"Lets see...." Benny said pointing to Mark,Mimi,Roger,The Mailman,Paul,Allie and Gordon "You all owe me Rent! and you just made it easier! then I heard noise in the closet!"

"So you decided to open the door?" Joanne asked "Well either way thanks"

"Yup!" Benny told her "I just assumed that Mark and Roger were doing it in the closet....again"

"Again?" everyone asked as Mark and Roger glared at Benny

"Forget I said anything...."Benny said as he started collecting rent from Paul and Gordon


(*Later that Night*)

Roger went to take a shower and came out to find the room completely clean

"What happened?" Roger asked "You cleaned the room?"

"Yeah" Mark told him

"Is it because I learned my lesson and suffered by being trapped in a closet?" Roger asked

"Yes" Mark told him "That and Benny told me that my closet was a fire hazard and that if I try moving in the closet again I woulden't need to pay the rent because I woulden't have a place to live"

"That's harsh" Roger told him

"Benny never said anything about secret closet sex...." Mark said with a smirk

"That closet can't fit people in it Mark!" Roger told him

"Yeah but it CAN fit 2 people..." Mark told him with a smirk

"No Mark!" Roger told him "I can't...I hate that closet and it's lack of space!"

"Come on Roger! You know you want to!" Mark told him





"Come on Roger!"

"No way Mark! Closet bad! Roger no like closet!"

"Mark like Closet Mark like closet better with Rogey-Poo"

"Why are we talking like this?"

"I don't know Roger lets go do it in the damn closet!"



"No way!"

"Come on Roger!....."


"Plea---Wait Fine?"

"Yes Fine"

"Fine Fine? as in you'll do it?"


"Wow I never thought I'd actually get you to do this"

"Mark shut up and lets go before I change my mind"