A/N: I was reading something and this popped into my head…Enjoy…or not…
Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS
The Way It Happened
Tears fell from her eyes. She had tried as hard as she could to stop the tears…And she did, but only for an hour or two. She swore to her-self she wouldn't cry. Not in front of him, never in front of him. When he said that, she felt as though she had taken a blow to the gut. The wind knocked out of her. She told him to get out and he left. After he was gone, she called her father and asked for a transfer back.
He was reluctant, but she insisted. He said he would have her out on the first flight available, tomorrow, and would call her director, Jennifer Shepard, to tell her of his daughter's decision. By the time they found out, she would be long gone. Letters were on their mantel for all of them: Gibbs, Jenny, McGee, Abby, McGee and Abby's daughter Katie, Ducky, Palmer and even Tony.
She couldn't leave without telling them she loved them like the family she never had the privilege of having. She had finished packing and now sat on the floor of their apartment. With nothing to do, the tears, the heart ache, the pain over whelmed her. The tears started to fall and she couldn't stop them. She let him in, she showed him her life, her childhood and he repaid her by breaking her heart.
Her body shook as the sobs coursed through her. She built walls around her heart for this very reason. She had built walls and slowly, ever so slowly, he had torn them down, leaving her exposed. Naked to the world, her wounds, her fears and secrets lay open for everyone to see. She remembered, now, why she had put up her walls, not just because Mossad forced her to stop feeling, no, it wasn't that, it was because she had, had her heart broken before and she knew how it felt.
When it happened the first time, she promised to never fall in love again, but her heart had different ideas. She fell for him. That self centered, egotistical, movie quoting jack ass. She had to fall in love with him. And for two years, everything was great. They had been dating and Gibbs and her Father approved. He had proposed and she said yes, but something had happened. She didn't know what, but something did.
He just walked into their apartment, sat her down on the sofa, and said they needed to talk. She wasn't worried at first, but seeing a look in his eyes, she knew they were over. At that moment, she started to put the walls back up, new ones, not brick or stone, but steel and iron. She would never fall in love again. He told her that he wasn't ready for commitment, kissed her cheek and left after she yelled for him to go.
She looked over at his stupid batman clock on the wall. It told her it was time to go. She picked up her backpack and went to the door. She was about to close it behind her when she looked back around at the place she called home. Pictures of them and their 'family' littered the walls. Some that Abby had given them and others that Tony or her put up. Mostly of the two of them. Smiling and happy, kissing and holding each other.
She blinked away the tears that started to form and walked out into the hall. She put her bag into the trunk of her bright red mini and got in the drivers seat. She wished the pain in her heart would just go away. It felt as thou one of her beloved blades had pierced her chest, her bones and straight into her heart. She wished it was one of her knifes, might hurt less. She arrived at the air port not twenty minutes later and parked her car on the upper story.
Later she sat on a plane, heading to her old home. The place where she would be dead within a month, if she were that lucky. She thought about the letters she left. All saying similar things, yet all completely different.
The letter to her boss was telling him about the father he was to her. Jenny's telling her what an amazing friend she had been. McGee's saying that he was the little brother she never had. Abby's informing her about the similarities between Abby and Tali, about how she always thought of her like a sister. Katie's was simple, just easy enough for the four year old get, telling her that her Auntie Ziva was always going to love her, forever. Ducky's read that he could have all her books and that he was a wonderful man, and an even better grandfather. The letter to Palmer said she was glad to have met him, and the only thing written on Tony's letter was that she was going to miss him, she loved him and that she was sorry.
All said she was sorry, that she loved them and explaining way she choose to go back to Mossad. She left out Tony's role in it, not wanting him to face their family. Her plane landed in Tel Aviv and she saw her childhood friend, Bram was waiting with a car. He drove her to her father's workplace. She stepped out of the car, grabbed her backpack and headed to Eli David's office.
When she walked in he turned and smiled at her. He got up and hugged her, gathering her in her big arms. His embrace as warm as it had been when she was a child, when her mother had died. She hugged him back like she meant it. He pulled back and kissed her forehead. He sat back down and informed her of a mission that needed her, now that she was back. She simply nodded and got the paper work and went back to the air port, this time flying to Spain.
It was a suicide mission and for that, and her father, she was grateful. In all her years of living, she never considered her-self a coward, but she would 'accidentally' let her guard down, giving the target an opening.
She lay in the middle of the street, blood covering her torso and face. She was thinking; she could deal with this pain. She could handle physical pain. As the night wore on, she watched the passing bright full moon above her. As she slipped away, she heard their laughing, her family's laughter. Ziva, for the first time in weeks, smiled, closed her eyes and never reopened them.
A/N: I had to listen to 'Every other weekend' by Reba McEntire to get this just a bit sad…Review please…