Title: The Hardest Choice
Disclaimer: I don't own anything about Vampire Knight
Authors Notes: Alright everyone, here is my first Vampire Knight story. For those of you who are fans, this story follows the guidelines of the story but otherwise has nothing to do with it. Yuuki is not a Vampire and that whole side of the story doesn't exist. Don't expect that to happen at any point because it won't. I'm also an undecided because I can never choose between Zero and Kaname. I like them both. Anyway, let me know what you think. I need lots of reviews with this one. Enjoy!
Yuuki waited as patiently as she could for the night class to come out of their dorm. The students of the day class all fluttered around waiting to catch a glimpse of them, but she couldn't make them go back to their dorms until the day was officially over. She watched them, waiting to protect them from the secrets of the night class.
"Not long now."
Yuuki looked at Zero sitting beside her on the wall. His tall lean frame looked completely relaxed, like he simply didn't care what was going on. As soon as the excitement of the change was over, he would simply leave to wander on his own at night, the way he liked it.
A girls excited scream shot through the air and Yuuki looked towards the slowly opening doors of the dorm.
He always came out in the middle of the group. Never first. His dark hair shining in the soft lights surrounding the sidewalks. His eyes looked up to meet hers and for a moment she felt her heart speed up. But then Zero lept from the wall beside her and she was distracted back to her job.
"The day class is officially called back to the dorms," she called out trying to stop all the day class students from rushing towards the night class students. Of course, like always, some got through but most didn't.
Zero never said anything unless it was a threat, and the day class students shied from him, afraid. Yuuki watched him grab a girl and pull her back to the day class students. He never even looked at her.
"The rules say you stay right here," he said over his shoulder.
Yuuki worried about him. Since he had officially become a Vampire, he had become more and more broody. He had never said much or cared about much other than his revenge, but now he just seemed to get lost within his own misery. She touched the bandage on her neck, remembering his bite from the night before. Whenever the craving got too much for him, she allowed him to bite her.
She shivered at the memory. She had been in the bathroom. The steam of her shower had fogged up the mirrors so that all she saw was a blurry shape as he walked up behind her. He had put his arms on either side of her, leaning against the counter. She had felt his whole body lean against her, covering her back. He had been so close that his breath made the skin at her neck tingle.
He had hesitated, but she had leaned to one side, exposing her neck and pushing her hair out of the way. He had pulled her tightly to him as he bit her, and she had shuddered at the touch of his teeth.
Yuuki was jolted back to the future when a day student bumped into her.
She was harshly pushed down to the ground before she could regain her balance, and she felt the cement scrape the exposed skin on her leg. She winced, but didn't call out.
She notice the sudden stillness that had taken over the night class.
Yuuki looked up to see all of them looking at her, every single one. She could tell by their expressions that they could smell her blood. Their eyes made her uneasy. She was sure they were all thinking how good she might taste right now. She shivered.
And then there was a hand helping her gently to her feet, and the night class all continued on their way. They would not go against him.
"Are you alright?" Kaname asked in his velvety smooth voice.
Yuuki looked up at him, so close to her. His dark eyes seemed both amused and concerned about her. His slow grace seemed to float around him, making everything quite. All she could do was nod.
"You might want to get that look at," he said gently caressing her hand.
"I will," she said softly.
"Kaname, let's go," Aido said rashly. For a Vampire, he seemed the one that was the most impatient. Obviously they were doing something important today or else he would have wanted to hang around.
Kaname looked back at Yuuki, his deep eyes smiling at her. She blushed.
"I will see you again soon," he said softly.
His slow departure brought back all the noise around her, and she could feel eyes on her. She looked over to see Zero staring at her, his eyes intense and frightening. She just turned away and continued trying to make the girls of the day class leave the guys of the night class alone.
When the job was done and everyone was where they should be, she looked to find Zero walking quickly away. She sighed. It would be another long night of patrolling the empty school alone.
She wondered why Zero always left her. They used to do some of this together, but lately he never stayed. It was as if he didn't want to be around her anymore. That thought, more than any other, hurt her.
Yuuki sat in the hot bath, letting the steaming water sooth her. Her head hurt again, like it always seemed to lately. The lack of sleep was starting to catch up to her. She felt warn, as if she had been doing hard labor for weeks.
She peeked her toes above the water, waving them out away from her to disturb the water. It rippled around in an uneven pattern. The soft clear ripples starting to appear red.
She closed her eyes as soon as it started happening. She knew that if she opened them, the water of her bath would appear red and thick like blood. Her hallucinations were getting much worse, but at least now she was expecting them. Where was the blood in her mind coming from? Was it an experience she had had in her early childhood? The part of her life that she couldn't remember? Was it filled with blood and death?
She quickly opened her eyes and looked at the door.
"Yuuki, are you done yet?"
Zero's voice was gruff and without emotion. She didn't answer.
She heard him try the door.
"Is there a reason you're not answering me?" He asked slowly.
Yuuki make the water ripple again, but didn't answer. The sound of small waves hitting the side of the tub seemed to echo in the large bathroom.
Zero walked away from the door. She could hear his heavy footsteps down the hall as if he was tired and couldn't bring himself to walk gently. She closed her eyes again, all relaxation gone. The steamy room suddenly felt to hot for her, so she quickly got out.
When she opened the bathroom door she could see him standing at the far end of the hallways, watching her. He was half shadowed. She looked at him for a moment, and then turned and walked away back to the girls' dorm. He couldn't follow her there now.
"Yuuki, is something wrong?" Yori asked her.
She looked at her friends from where she sat at the window, watching the snow fall heavily down to the ground. It had started snowing hours ago, and now it seemed it wouldn't stop before covering everything in sight in at least 5 inches of white powder.
"I'm just thinking about Zero,"
Yori nodded and came to sit with her.
"Why is he acting so strangely?" She asked.
Yuuki shrugged her shoulders. She couldn't tell her about his turning into a Vampire. She couldn't tell her why he was so mysterious about his past.
"I don't know," she said truthfully.
"It seems like you guys have always been friends. You're the only one he's ever really talked to. I thought that it was because he trusted you."
"So did I," Yuuki said.
"So what's changed?"
"Something had to have changed," Yori said. "Why would Zero stop talking to you and acting so distant if nothing had happened? Have you hurt him in some way? Has he hurt you in some way?"
Yuuki unconsciously put her hand to her neck and touched the spots where his teeth marks had penetrated.
"Nothing lately, no," she answered.
"Well then maybe you should demand to talk to him. Barge in on him so that he can't escape. If you wait for him to open up, you might be waiting forever."
Yuuki looked back at the falling snow. It would be cold tomorrow.
Yuuki sat through class for the whole morning trying not to look back at Zero. She could feel him sitting right behind her. She could feel his eyes look at her. She tried to not care, but she couldn't.
She couldn't take it anymore. Zero was starting to scare her. She wanted desperately to be his friend, but he wouldn't let her in.
She needed to find out what was happening to him.
"Yuuki! Where are you going?" Yori asked when she started walking in the wrong direction to her next class.
"I need to take care of something," she called back.
Zero watched her run down the hallway. His eye intense and somehow emotionless.
Yuuki asked the gate keeper if she could pass and he allowed her, then she made her way up to the mansion that was the night class's dorm. She pulled her coat closer around her in the cold and shook the snow from her hair before going in.
As the sun was still out, the dorm was practically empty. All around her there was nothing but still air. She gently crept up the stairs and down the hall, trying not to make a sound. She knew that if they wanted her, they would know she was there from her smell, but she was quiet anyway.
His door was at the end, bigger than the rest. It seemed to loom in front of her. She took a couple deep breaths before hesitantly knocking.
She considered knocking again, but if he was asleep she didn't want to anger him. She waited another moment.
Just as she was about to leave, he opened the door slowly.
Kaname looked at her gently as he leaned against the door. His hair was only slightly messy from calm sleep, and his shirt hung loosely open exposing his chest. The dark silk was hardly rumpled.
He looked amused.
"What can I do for you Yuuki?" His velvety smooth voice seemed to wash over her.
She felt her courage start to leave her. She felt her heart flutter and her palms start to sweat. Kaname always had this affect on her. But she wasn't here for him tonight. Usually she would let herself simply be in his presence, but tonight she couldn't. She had to be stronger then that.
She pictured Zero in her mind and she felt her determination rise.
"I want to talk to you about Zero," she said in a small voice.
He looked at her for a long moment, not answering, but then he moved aside to allow her into his room.
Yuuki stepped in, but stopped when he stood quickly behind her. She could feel him there, almost as if he were touching her. He took her coat off of her and placed it behind him, and then squeezed her shoulders. Yuuki felt frozen as his hands touched her, strong and sure.
"What about Zero?" He asked, his mouth right at her ear. She could feel his hot breath on her cheek.
"He's acting strangely."
She tried to concentrate. She was here for Zero.
"He is going through something that we cannot imagine. You think he would act exactly the same."
Yuuki felt like she might shiver.
"Yuuki, I know that you care for him. You have grown up with him so you must have feelings for him. But Zero is headed down a different path than you are. You cannot expect him to stay the same forever, especially now."
Yuuki didn't resist when he gently turned her around to face him. She was standing so close to him she could breath in his sent. He gently touched her cheek, running his hands down to gently caress her bite marks. Her heart fluttered madly when he bent down and kissed them, his smooth tongue licking the small wounds.
"I can't abandon him," she said in a whisper.
His breath tickled her neck hotly when he spoke.
"He will survive without you Yuuki."
Her pulled her closer to him, and she could feel his teeth nip at her neck. His hands firmly caressed her lower back. Yuuki couldn't help giving in to him; it was as if he had some sort of hold over her. She felt herself sink into him, taking in his strength. Zero faded from her mind.
He kissed her gently, and she felt her body go weak and respond to him at the same time. He had her pulled so tightly to him that she couldn't escape, and she found that she didn't want to, not even when he deepened the kiss.
Yuuki kissed him back with everything she had, and at her response he became more aggressive. Her back hit the door firmly, and his body crushed her to him. All she could think about was that he was kissing her, and touching her.
Kaname pulled back ever so slightly from her, his breathing slightly ragged. He looked at her, his forehead resting against hers, and she felt that he could see right through her. His eyes were so intense.
"I don't like that he bites you Yuuki," he said after a long moment.
She didn't know what to say, her heart still pounded in her chest and she felt light headed from his kisses. She wasn't sure she could put her thoughts together.
"Every time I see you, I am jealous that he is the one touching you. I should be the only one allowed to touch you Yuuki. I have not said anything because I know you have feelings for him, but I want you to stop. I want you to choose to be with me, and that means I cannot allow you to be with Zero."
Yuuki felt winded. All at once he had said he wanted to be with her, and that she couldn't see Zero anymore. But he needed her. Without her, he might turn into a class E vampire. She would never forgive herself if she ever let him down like that.
"I can see the question in your eyes and it breaks my heart."
He stepped away from her, his tall lean form walking calmly towards the window.
Yuuki hesitated before following him. She stood a few feet behind him, waiting for him to speak. Was he angry with her? Despite how kind he usually was to her, she was afraid of him.
"I'm sorry that I feel the need to protect him," she said after a moment.
He didn't look at her. "If I asked you to choose, between him and me, what would you do?"
Yuuki couldn't bring herself to answer. Her heart tore in two different directions. She knew that she wanted Kaname, but she couldn't abandon Zero when he needed her most. So she stayed silent.
"I see," he said finally turning around. "Then, Yuuki, I will win you from him. I am sorry to say that you will have to choose, and I will fight for your choice. If I have to, I will kill him."
She couldn't believe him. This was probably the most powerful Vampire alive and he was going to fight for her affection. She felt small, like he might be teasing her. But his eyes were still serious as he looked at her and she felt the enormous weight of what he offered her. She was afraid for Zero.
"My feelings for him are not the same as my feelings for you Kaname," she said trying to assure him. His eyes just looked deep inside her. "I would choose you this second, but I cannot abandon a friend when they are suffering as much as I see that he is."
"Your compassion is admirable, but also foolish. One day Zero will expose his true self to you, and I am afraid that you will feel completely betrayed by him."
Yuuki nodded. She knew what he said might be true.
"Will you not tell me what you know about what he's going through?"
"You ask me to help my opponent?"
"No," she said nervously. "I'm asking you to help me help a friend."
Kaname did not answer right away, as if he was weighing the question in his mind. Yuuki found herself wishing he would put his arms around her again, warming her confused mind.
"He is disgusted with himself Yuuki," he said finally. "Wouldn't you be? He's becoming the thing he detests most in the world, and he's hurting the person he most cares about in the process. Every time he drinks from you, he both loves and hates you for allowing him to."
Yuuki just listened in silence; her mind sinking into confusion.
"Every day he must see you, and see the marks on your neck along with your slightly paler than usual skin and he knows that one day he might not be strong enough to stop before he kills you."
Yuuki nodded. She didn't want to hear anymore.
"And he will one day," Kaname said. "If you can't stop him, he will kill you."
Yuuki stood up straighter. "No matter how you say it, I will never believe that Zero will hurt me."
Kaname smiled, a slow calm smile. "You're both amazing and foolish my dear Yuuki. I only hope your faith in him will prove to be more justified then mine."
Yuuki hesitated before walking out of the room, leaving him standing there watching her go. She could feel his eyes on her back and it made her shiver. How did he have such an affect on her?
She walked through the dark mansion quickly and found herself outside in the cold snow. It fell even more heavily around her, chocking the sound from the world. She pulled her coat tighter and started walking through the snow that was now higher than her knees. It was hard going, and she knew that the day class was over from the dimming light in the sky. The smell of night was starting to settle on the cold ground, promising that the night class would soon emerge from their dark home.
She shivered as she made her way to the headmasters office, shaking the snow off her boots at the door. Half way down the hall she realized that she was leaving a trail of snow behind her, so she pulled her heavy boots off and leaned them against the wall. She continued on in her socks, trying not to step on anything.
As she neared the office, she could hear voices. She slowed down to almost a crawl when Zero's angry voice nearly shot through the hall.
"Why do you insist on tormenting me with this. I know what I have to do to stay sane, and I will not allow you to experiment on me!"
Yuuki held her breath.
"Even if it means you won't have to bite Yuuki anymore?"
There was a silence so still the Yuuki was afraid to breath.
"I would never hurt her," Zero's voice came out in a whisper.
"But you do hurt her, every time you walk away from her and every time you neglect to talk to her. Can't you see Zero? She's giving herself willingly to you so that you might live as normally as possible, and yet you walk away from her because of your guilt."
There was no answer.
"You think you are being Kind by keeping away from her, but you're not. You're being selfish."
Yuuki heard Zero move to the farther end of the room, where the other door was. She thought perhaps he had stopped, but then the door slammed loudly, startling her.
She waited for awhile, not sure if she should go in. But the cold of the hallways finally got too much for her, and she quickly made her way into the warmth off the headmasters office.
"Why Yuuki, where have you been. I was told you missed your afternoon classes today."
She bowed apologetically.
"I am sorry, I got distracted."
Yuuki looked at him in surprise.
"I know that you were at the night class dorms Yuuki. If you feel there is something you need to discuss with me, daughter, you know that I'm always here for you."
"What was so urgent that you needed to see Kaname during the day?"
"I was worried about Zero. I thought he might know something."
He just nodded.
"The night class dorm is for the night class only Yuuki, unless you have prefect business with them."
"I understand headmaster," she answered.
"Good, then get something to eat before you prefect duties start."
Yuuki quickly made her way through the door the Zero had gone through, hoping to see him, but he was long gone. She sighed and made her way to the dining hall.
End of Chapter One
Please reivew!!!!! I really wante reviews on this one please! Even if you don't like it let me know!