James panted for breath as he stared up at the ceiling. His legs were weak and shaky and his entire body was sore. He tilted his head back enough to see something that he had no recollection of doing. "When did the table get destroyed?"
Mark sat up and looked back at the now splintered remains of the kitchen table. "I don't know," he replied honestly. "I think it happened sometime after we broke the pantry door."
"Oh." James slowly stood up. "Stacy is not going to be happy about this."
"You mean about what we just did, or the state of the kitchen?"
"The state of the kitchen. She's going to make us clean it up and if we don't, she'll try to kill us in our sleep." James looked around. "Where the hell did my pants go?"
Mark stood up and grabbed his shirt, which had been tossed up to the ceiling fan. "I think they went into the sink."
James sighed. "Oh wonderful." He took them out of the sink and shook them a couple of times. They were spots that were kind of damp, but they weren't totally wet, so he just put them back on. "I don't think we've destroyed a room like this since we were in our twenties."
"Yeah, I think I know why we stopped," Mark grumbled. "My back is fucking killing me. You are one rough bastard, you know that?"
"Me? I'm the rough one? You threw me through the pantry door! That fucking hurt you know."
The kitchen door opened and Tammy walked into the room. "Oh it's nice to see you two are at it again," she said with a grin. "Thank God I didn't walk in on it."
James rolled his eyes. For some odd reason, people were traumatized when they caught him and Mark going at it. He just could not understand what was so fucking scary about it. "Where's Stacy? I thought you two were like joined at the hip now."
"She's in the living room with Roxxi, Victoria and Natalya."
"When did they get here?"
"Like five seconds ago." Tammy reached into her purse and pulled out a pregnancy test."
"Bitch, what the hell is that for?" Mark yelled. "You told me you were on the pill!"
Tammy glared at him. "It's not for me stupid."
James groaned. "Oh God, please tell me it's not for Stacy."
"It's for Melina. I've caught her throwing up the past few mornings when nobody else was up."
James and Mark looked at each other. "On second thought, please tell me you quit taking the pill and its for you," Mark pleaded. "Please tell me James is not going to be a grandpa."
"Hey!" James exclaimed. "I would be a good grandpa!"
"Yeah, but think about Jeff as a father?"
James thought about that. That really was a scary thought. "Okay, maybe that is a scary thought," he admitted. "But there will be one bright side to Melina maybe being pregnant."
"Oh yeah, what's that?"
"If the baby pukes, I'll make sure it pukes on you."
Mark glared at him. "Yeah, and I'll make sure I ram my foot up your ass if you even try that."
Tammy sighed and rolled her eyes. "Oh boys. Can't you ever just get along?"
"We are getting along," James informed her. "We're not trying to kill or torture each other, so I think we're doing great right now."
"Yeah," Mark agreed. "I mean, I'll kill him if he ever puts baby puke on me, but besides from that, we really are getting along great now."
The next day made Jeff very, very excited. Today was his birthday. He was…wait, he couldn't remember how old he was. His mind was going about a million miles an hour and he couldn't really focus on anything. There was too much going on around him. Kelly and some girl named Ashley were talking and flirting in the corner and Christian and Raven were taking pictures and making lewd comments. Miz was pouting because apparently he wanted Ashley for himself, and Cactus kept looking at the blonde man like he wanted to wrap some barbed wire around his neck and strangle him to death. Jeff got a mental picture of Cactus doing that to Miz and it made him laugh like a crazy clown in the bozo circus.
Melina wandered into the room and looked around. "Hardy party," she said softly. She started to slowly spin around like a ballerina. "Party party, hardy hardy, party hardy hardy party."
Jeff grinned. "It's my party. All mine." He looked at the presents that had been stacked in the corner. "Oooh, presents!" Then he saw the cake that was sitting on the card table in the middle of the living room. "Oooh, cake!" Then he saw something else that was better than cake and presents combined. "Oooh, knife!"
James grabbed him and pulled him away from the weapon. "Not that one Jeffey," he said. "That one is for our food."
Jeff pouted. "You're really mean Dad. I hope you know that. I might electrocute you."
"You won't when you see the present I got you," James assured him. He made the younger man sit down on the couch. "But before we get to the presents, Roxxi has something to give you."
Roxxi walked over and handed Jeff a small, weird stick thing. He stared at it for a moment before frowning. "If this is my birthday present from you, I'm going to strangle you right here and now," he warned her.
"The lamb bears the mark of the wolf," Roxxi replied. She grinned insanely at him. "And now, from the womb of the lamb and the seed of the wolf, something will come that is neither innocent or good, despite its appearance. It's all black, like all the apples that came from the tree before it."
Everybody had stopped what they were doing so they could listen to what she was saying. "What the fuck does that mean?" Ashley finally asked.
Stacy sighed. "It means Melina is pregnant. She and Jeff are going to have a baby."
Everyone just stared at her for a moment as they tried to process that news. "Oh God no," Dwayne finally said.
"YAY!" Jeff yelled. He jumped off the couch, picked up Roxxi and spun her around until he fell over. He got back up to his feet and grinned at everyone. "I told you I was going to have some spawn! I told you couldn't stop me!" He started to cackle maniacally. "Did I tell you that Daddy?"
James just sighed. "Jeff?"
"You are not allowed to drink six Mountain Dews in one setting anymore. It has made you way too hyper."
"Oh go to hell you old bastard!" Jeff turned to Mark. "What do you think of me becoming a daddy?"
Mark pursed his lips and thought about it for a long time. When he finally spoke, what he said was straight, simple and to the point. "The world is definitely doomed."
I think I have to agree with Mark on that one. Anyway, there will be a sequel to this one, and hopefully I can get it started within the next couple of days. And I have another idea that invovles doing a whole bunch of one shots that take place either before Bound by Blood/And the Blood Rains Down or some could be like lost chapters to those stories. So with that being said, I hope you guys enjoyed reading it. I know I had fun getting out some of my demented side typed out -lol-.