Effy knows she's changed since the time when she used to wave up at her brothers windows in the morning, after a night out partying and doing who knows what. She's happier. Everyone likes her. Girls want to be her, boys want to be with her. Cook wants to fuck her. Freddie wants to fuck her. God, even JJ wants to fuck her, and he hasn't even got pubic hair. Now, when she sees her Mum in the arms of another man and she hears her Dads angry swearing, she has people to go to, instead of just the drugs that take it all away. Of course, there's still the drugs too, and the booze, and the sex.
But Effy knows she's still just as broken inside now as she was when she was just a little girl, running from the world into the arms of people she knew weren't good for her. She just hides it better now. Effy Stonem doesn't let anyone see past the cold shell she's built around herself, the shell she learned to build from her big brother Tony. The only person she ever let see through was Freddie, on the night of Pandora's party, and again, at the water park, when she dove into the ice cold water towards him, just because he was the only one who'd come for her. And after that she was so scared he'd turn away in disgust when he saw the real her she had to run again. Hurt him so he wouldn't get a chance to hurt her. She ran, ran into the arms of Cook, who she swore she'd never let touch her again.
Effy's still lost.
And sometimes, on the few nights when she comes home alone and lies in bed, with nothing but a lighter a maybe a bottle of Vodka for if the darkness gets too close, she misses the girl she was back then. Yes, she was lost, and broken, and half the time she felt like she wanted to tear her heart out of her chest, she was in so much pain, but it was her pain. She thought she'd done what she didn't use to think was possible, killed the pain dead with the drugs, and the sex, but she hadn't. It's still there, when she hears her parents scream. But by now she's driven away anyone who could help her.