So sorry for the super-upper late update! I know you all hate me but seriously it is summer and I hit a major writer's block! This chapter takes place right after the previous one; don't know if its good but it's a nice place to rebuild Carlisle and Bella's relationship! I posted two new stories so please go read them and tell me what you think! One is a Carlisle/Bella Jasper/Bella story A Taste Of Honey and the other one is a Bella whoever you wanted to be Pain's My Type Of Heroin Now read. Enjoy. Review.
This chapter is dedicated to beverlie4055 for reminding me that I still had to update this story!
Recap: "Like we didn't know each other"
Hours later we were on our way to some beach that was located outside the town; a silence enveloped us since we left the diner. And it was driving me crazy!
"Carlisle, either you talk to me or take me home! 'Cause seriously the silence is driving insane!" I exclaimed after a while, my voice was sharp but with an underlying desperation underneath it.
My outburst apparently took him by surprise because the car swerved out of the line making me gasped and yelled a "What the hell?" at a sorry looking Carlisle.
"Sorry, I was lost in thought" he said, looking at me for a moment with an embarrass smile. I gave him a sarcastic look that screamed 'Really?' and rolled my eyes before turning around and looking as the scenery flew by through the window.
Fifteen minutes later we arrived to our destination; a beautiful beach with white crispy sand and a blue ocean. It was deserted.
"So, how about we begin this getting to know each other deal?" I asked him as I began to remove my sandals.
Carlisle looked at me with a curious look in his face; eyebrows raised in question and his head inclined to the side. "What you propose?" he asked me all business-like making me laugh aloud.
I stopped in front of him, giggles still escaping my lips "How about we play 20 questions?" I asked him while combing his hair back. Not actually thinking of my actions till Carlisle closed his eyes and leaned into my hand. I stepped back as if he had burned my hands on fire. "So, whatcha think?" I asked nonchalantly as I turned around and began to walk toward an unknown destination, only wanting to put distance between our bodies.
"Sure why not!" Carlisle said while passing me a can of beer from the six-pack we had brought.
I accepted it and drank from it greedily. "Me first! I want to ask first!" Carlisle laughed at me childish behavior and nodded at me to go right ahead. "Uhmm… Favorite place in the world?"
"Anywhere Parker's at" was his fast response. "Yours"
"What?" his expression was shock, and a little doubtful. His eyebrows were raised, and his face was crunched up in a mask of disbelief. I just nodded, my face dead-serious, no smile playing at the corners of my lips, no amusement lurking behind my dark eyes. He apparently noticed this and sobered up and sat up, his hands on his knees. His eyes searched mine for lies "You're actually serious?"
I nodded again, not actually understanding what was so unbelievable about what I just said.
Maybe that was the problem he never took me too serious.
Carlisle sighed and looked around us; we were currently sitting in front of each other, a little fire was burning to my right, and a six-pack of beer was opened and at my left. The night was cold, it was autumn after all, but being so close to water might have help the humidity. We were in First Beach, La Push, barefooted and getting to know each other like I promised.
"Bells, explain to me how can you find squirrels to be diabolic or demonic? Or a creation of the devil?" his questions were good but my argument was better.
"Their eyes" I said as if explained and ended the discussion right there and then, no more words and I would find myself the winner. But Carlisle as always had to challenge my beliefs and asked.
"What about their eyes?" his voice was patronizing and he had a smug smiled playing at his lips. Blue eyes danced with amusement, and eyebrows were raised in challenge.
I was getting tired of his questioning and huffed, rolled my eyes and answered his question as if by actually acknowledging him I was doing the humanity a great favor. And maybe I was. "Their eyes they see too much and express too little. No one or thing with the ability to that should be a creation of good. Except for people who took acting classes, of course!" that was my winning argument and the case was close. Carlisle had a bewilderment look on his face, like he had not expected me to say that. He should know by now not to underestimate me!
"Ugh... What... How c...?" he was apparently speechless and I was getting to cold to celebrate my small victory of how a man who was supposed to be smart couldn't come up with words to defend his case.
I found my self laughing, besides the cold, and moments after Carlisle was laughing with me too. I lay down on the white and cold sand and looked up at the starless night, memories and flashbacks coming back to me.
Memories of happy times we shared together, with our friends and family and alone. Flashbacks of how I used to feel when he was near, or touching me, or just whispering promises of a world where we would always be together.
A minute later I felt Carlisle lay down besides me, but his eyes were not staring at the sky like mine were; his were staring at me. With too much emotion and I knew he was remembering too.
But he broke the promises; he was the one that destroyed the perfect world.
"Remember that time you took me to that concert of some local band and we had to sleep inside your car 'cause your parents were mad at you and mine didn't know I had gone out?" I asked him, my voice soft and my eyes close savoring the feeling that memories carry with them. And if I concentrated hard enough I could still hear the loud and obnoxious music playing in the background.
"Yeah, that was the first time we got to second base, right?" Carlisle asked with a dreamy sigh.
"You pig" I laughed loudly, my laugh echoing in the empty beach "That was the time you tried to steal second base" I reminded him smugly after I calmed down enough to speak. Those were good times I silently added in mind and sighed once again trying to go back to that day and place. But of course that proved to be impossible and the only thing I could remember was like a collage of that whole month; Carlisle's soccer game, my dance recital, getting to second base, the concert, Em' calling telling us he might going to war, my parents fighting too much.
Carlisle laughter died down with mine and the night was silent as we pondered our thoughts. My mind was full of memories I thought were forgotten, and my heart full of feelings I thought were already dead and buried. I guess not. I was wrong like many times when it came to dealing with Carlisle and this time I actually wanted to be right just for once. Wanted to know what the hell I was getting my self into. If this was a self-destructive mission or if I was actually going to benefit myself out of this whole ordeal? I felt Carlisle moved besides me before I felt his head positioning it self on my thighs.
Full of confidence aren't we? I asked sarcastically in my mind. What doesn't he think I would just move my legs from underneath his head? But I knew I wouldn't, I could, but why do it? Why stop something I wanted to happen?
Why, because it could stop the heart break this whole thing was gonna bring me!
"Remember prom?" Carlisle asked me from his place in my thighs, his voice raw and scrappy with sleep.
"Yeah, fluffy dresses, horrendous hairstyles, and Jenifer and Karen fighting for who was gonna be Prom Queen. Yeah those were good time" I answered him before taking a sip of my already empty can of beer.
I was thirsty, sleepy and cold. Not a good combination when it came to surviving a night in the middle of nowhere. Not exactly, but you know what I mean, cause really Forks is in the middle of nowhere and La Push is in forks so technically I was right. God I'm rambling inside my head and my eyes burned from the smoke the small fire was emitting. And I'm cold dammed!
"No I was talking about Prom; you in pink and purple thong, pink lacy bra and a little too loud" I blushed at the memory of our first time and hit Carlisle upside the head. That was a memory I did not want to remember, even thought it was a memory I dint to be want erase from the record saving my brain had. It was too precious, too cliché to forget it.
"Yeah prom! And I wasn't that loud" I exclaimed after a pause of silent, my mind looking for escape routes that were going to stop this conversation here and now, without leaving a awkward silence behind.
"Hey I wasn't complaining! You boosted my ego 20% only the first time!" Carlisle sleepy voice informed me, and my exit was making its grand entry in form of sleep as I heard Carlisle breathing even out and felt him snuggled more into my body.
"Yeah babe, you were that good" I whispered into the big nothing that didn't answer me back, responding to my plea of stopping the conversation that was based on the topic of my first time, a conversation that was going to bring old feelings to the surface. And I was kind of glad and at the same time disappointed, because I wanted answers. Too many answers and not enough questions, don't know if the saying goes that way but really I doubted it, but any way that was how I felt; like I didn't have the words to form the questions that were plaguing my mind, questions that kept me awake at nights, questions that brought me nightmares for countless nights. Too many times.
I felt how sleep began to envelope me in its warm embrace, my lids getting heavier, my breathing slowing down, till finally darkness surrounded me and I was nothing in the big nothing.
That night I dreamed of brown-haired kids with blue eyes, of weddings and of being a big star.
Those dreams converted in nothing and I dreamed of nothing, of being alone, everybody forgetting who I was, of dying without creating the miracle it was life.
That night I woke up countless times.
-So thanks for reading, the next chapter should be up soon! I will be updating my others stories soon if not today but I'm not promising anything! So plix review and tell me if you liked this chapter! Oh and pretty, pretty plix read my 2 new stories!