Disclaimer: Not mine.



The pizza box sizzled and smoked in the middle of the crater on the floor. Tsuna didn't dare come out from under the bed.

He stared up at his roof in shock, peering over the edge of the bed. A giant hole in it bared the clear blue skies with the occasional drifting white cloud. An airplane flew overhead and Tsuna wondered at it idly. There were no airports nearby…?

But…why…from outer space?

He crawled a little closer to the immobile cardboard box. It was a bit dented in the middle, but otherwise intact. There was a fat smiling boy in a checkered jumper holding a pizza up at him. Tsuna wrinkled his nose at it. There was something suspicious about that fat kid. It said on the top in big bold letters: Picha Pie.

He popped the lid open. There, a perfectly round, lightly browned pizza pie laid innocently with ultra super thin crust and melted mozzarella, and dozens of tantalizing pepperoni, slightly curling still from the heat. He took a sniff at it. The god of pizza pies smacked him on the head…metaphorically.

Wow…it smelled good.

He ate a slice.

HP increase!


Well…he ate practically half of it. It was that good.

He hummed to himself while he dumped the rest of it into the fridge. He'd eat the rest later. Right now…he felt like going out for a walk. Like, doing some serious walking to burn off those calories.

He hopped out through the door and walked the gravel sidewalks of his hometown with a strange electrifying feeling in his toes. Maybe, it was heartburn?


Oh, god, Tsuna thought.

Another random generic bully was holding him by his shirt, asking for his weekly allowance.

Fight Start!

Tsuna VS Random Generic Bully

Bully lets loose a hurricane of punches at curled up Tsuna. Critical Hits! Tsuna's HP reduced to 30. Bully repeats demands for rupees.

Tsuna activates Coward Skill #5, kick to the groin!

It missed! Fail!

But, inside Tsuna's belly, the mashed up pieces of Picha Pie started glowing and the theme music changes from Mortal Kombat to SailorMoon. Tsuna levitates from bully's grasp, beams of light coming from out of his eyes. His clothes disappear.

Bully covers his eyes with hands and screams. Mental Damage! Bully's HP reduced to 65.

Tsuna is compelled to say, Super-Sexy Naked Transformation Phase!

Rolls of cloth surround him and after another eye-blinding flash of light, Tsuna settles back onto the ground in a new outfit. Equipment Upgrade! He wears a pizza delivery boy's uniform…which is a plaited green skirt, skin-tight t-shirt with obligatory pizza mascot, and the neon orange visor cap. New Skill Acquired!

Bully uses mean left hook. He missed!

Tsuna slams pizza bag for carrying pizza boxes at him. Critical Hit! Bully dies…or falls unconscious, HP: 1

Tsuna wins. Exp: 45. Loot: 10 dollars.

Tsuna stands with the V-mark hand gesture. Victory!

He changes back to his disguise…super bully target, Tsuna and scarpers home.

In the shadows of the alley where Tsuna's fight had ended, a strange suited form began chuckling. He slinked about in the shadows, muttering, "So, that is the heir to the Clam Family…Mwaha…haha…Xanxus, you sucka…you won't know what'll hit you."


Tsuna ate one more slice of pizza. Damn it. It really was good.

The doorbell rang.

He got up, still chewing on the delicious mana from space and opened the door.

A tall, dark, and handsome man stood there in a business suit and a fedora. With a snobby tone, he said, "Ciaossu. You've just inherited the world's largest Yakuza Family." Curly sideburns that were heavily glued to stay in shape hung from the man's head like two pointed guns. A large...baby-sucking...thingie hung from the man's chest-pocket. Flashing white teeth and smoldering eyes and a body that looked like something Adonis would cry over in total envy...

Wow...Tsuna thought...he looks like a prick.