Disclaimer: I do not claim to own any of the characters from Red vs Blue, just Phil.
Summary: Phil a 15-year-old boy from our time is struck by lightning and is sent into the most dullest place, with the most craziest characters: Blood Gulch! What can go wrong? A lot!
Hold on! I'm Where?
The wind was blowing hard as it pounded rain into the house. The sky was almost black as storm clouds covered the sky. Lightning flashed and thunder rumbled, but none of this bothered the boy who was in the house, on his computer.
"Ha ha ha ha! That was a good one!" laughed Phil as he watched Red vs Blue on his computer.
"Tell him how his mom got to third base with you!"
Phil held his sides with laughter as his favorite soldiers kept messing up.
"Wow! I wish I could be there, it looks like fun!" said Phil.
Phil jumped and looked around his room, a frown on his face.
"Hello? Whose there?" asked Phil.
Nothing responded so Phil shrugged his shoulders and turned back to his screen.
"Hello window person!"
This time Phil spun around fast, still nobody.
"Alright whose there! Show yourself!" shouted the teen as he glanced around his room again.
"I am not there, I am right here!" said a voice behind him.
Phil slowly turned around and looked at his computer screen, there waving at him (what the! Waving at me?), was Caboose.
"Hi!" said Caboose.
Phil stared at his computer in shock.
'How the heck is he talking to me and how is can he see me?' Phil asked him self.
The teen opened his mouth to say something but at that moment a lightning bolt flew through his window and struck him.
Phil's body began to convulse and electricity ran all over him. He cried out in pain and then everything went black.
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" cried Phil as searing pain brought him back to consciousness.
As he continued to scream he looked down at his left arm, it was bent in the middle of his forearm. He began to gasp as the pain increased and tears came to his eyes.
"Oh no! Are you hurt, want me to kiss it?" asked a voice.
Phil opened his eyes and he saw a man wearing blue Spartan armor from Halo standing over him. Phil forgot his pain as he stared at the familiar man.
"What's wrong, do I have something on my helmet?" asked the man.
Phil nearly fainted when he realized who he was talking to.
"Y-your C-Caboose!" he stuttered out.
Caboose looked down at him and leaned closer.
"Hey you are that big window person that I saw before a white light made you disappear!" he exclaimed.
Phil was about to speak again when the pain returned and he cried out once more. Caboose jumped back in fright and then did something right for a change, he called Church.
"Church! Church can you hear me?" said Caboose into the radio.
An annoyed sounding voice responded.
"What do you want Caboose?"
"Um, well, you see the big window person that I had seen in the sky is now in front of me and he appears to be hurt," said Caboose.
"Caboose…don't call me again, unless if it is important!" said Church.
"But I think this is important, he-" began Caboose when Phil screamed loudly.
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Phil cried out again.
"Caboose? What the frick was that?" asked Church.
"That was the big window person!" said Caboose.
"Ok, Caboose, you stay there, Tucker and I are coming!"
Church turned the radio off and he turned to face the teal Spartan standing beside him.
"What the frick was that about?" asked Tucker.
Church shook his head and then motioned Tucker to follow him.
"I don't know, Caboose found something, the big window person he says!" said Church.
"Big window person, what the frick is that?"
"I don't know probably something Caboose thinks he sees," said Church.
"Hey maybe it's a chick, bow-chicka-bow-wow!" said Tucker.
Church turned toward Tucker.
"Tucker, shut-up! Its not a chick!"
"How do you know?"
"I don't know how I know! Just shut the heck up!" shouted Church.
They walked along in silence as they came up to the rocks in the middle of Blood Gulch. They came around a big boulder and saw Caboose standing over something on the ground. The blue Spartan looked up when he saw them and waved.
"Church! Tucker! Look who I found!" he exclaimed as he pointed down at the object.
Church looked down and he stared for a minute.
"What the crap?" was all he could say when he realized it was a boy sitting on the ground.
"See, I told you it was the big window person!" said Caboose.
Tucker looked at the blue Spartan.
"Caboose, shut it," Tucker then looked over at the boy, "Its nothing but a kid, dangit, I was hoping for a chick!"
Phil grunted as he held his arm.
"Sorry to disappoint you," he said through gritted teeth.
Church walked up to the boy and leaned over him.
"Alright, what's your name boy and what are you doing here?" he asked.
"My name is Philip, but most call me Phil and I have no idea what I am doing here! I don't even know how I got here!" shouted Phil as the panic began to rise in his chest.
Tucker placed his battle rifle on the ground and kneeled beside Phil.
"Whoa now! Calm down kid, we just want to know why you are even here, that's all!"
Phil began to breath fast as he began to realize where he was and tears started to fall down his cheeks.
"I don't know why I am here, I have no idea where here is, my arm is broken-" he was cut off by Church who examined his left arm.
"Your arm is broken! Caboose why didn't you tell us his arm was broken and don't say because you didn't ask!"
"But, you didn't ask!"
Tucker cleared his throat loudly and the other two turned back to face a now sobbing Phil, who was extremely pale.
"Why don't you two stop arguing and get Phil here to Doc, ASAP?" asked Tucker as he picked the teen up and held him fireman style.
Church blushed under his helmet.
"Uh…yah. That might be a good idea," he said.
As Tucker handed his rifle to Church and began to head for Blue base, Phil spoke up.
"Wait, before we go anywhere, I would like to know, where the heck am I?"
"You are in Blood Gulch kid, the dullest place in the universe, you'll get used to it!" said Church as he ran up beside Tucker.
Phil froze and looked at Church.
"I am where?" he asked again.
"Blood Gulch, not much to it. its just a box canyon with two bases in it. In fact, we could use another recruit on our team, what do you say?" asked Church
"Wait you mean you are accepting me onto Blue team?" asked Phil with surprise.
"Sure, why not, all you need is some armo-"
"Crap, sniper!" cried Church, "Tucker get him to the base now!"
"Can do!" said Tucker as he began to run.
Another shot struck the ground under Caboose's feet.
"Running time!" he shouted, "Running, running, running!"
A shout came from the ledge.
"Suck it Blue!"
Church barely had time to duck as the bullet went over his head.
"Son of a Biff!" he shouted and he ran after the other two.
"Yah run you pansies, addlebrains, dirtbags! Ha ha, good shooting Simmons!" said Sarge to a maroon colored Spartan.
"Thank you sir!" said Simmons.
"Kissarse!" said Grif, an orange colored Spartan.
"Shut up Grif! Dirtbag!" said Sarge.
"Who was that the Blue's were taking back to their base?" asked Donut, he wore pink armor.
"Maybe he is a secret op of some kind, those diabolical Blue's! They are going to try to infiltrate our base and steal our secret plans! Never trust a blue!" said Sarge.
"Yeah…wait, what?" asked Grif.
Sarge turned to Grif and wacked him across the head with his shotgun.
"Ow, what did I do?" asked Griff.
"That was for getting on my nerves, come on let's get back to base!" said Sarge.
Well what did you think? Please review!