Disclaimer – Narnia and its characters belong to C. S. Lewis not me.
A/N – hi, this is my first fic ever. I wrote it when I was 16 (and in my Narnia obsessed phase). I got the idea from watching the movie 'The Other Boleyn Girl".
There is Peter/Susan incest in this fic, so if you don't like that, please don't read.
I just found their on-screen acting as very 'couplish' – they had chemistry in the movies, which may be wrong, by they did.
So anyways, I hope you enjoy, and please review =) Thanks.
Susan Pevensie collapsed onto the freshly changed, cool silken sheets of her bed, running a slender white hand across her damp forehead. Another miscarriage. Another dead child, trying to enter the cruel world far too early.
As Susan blinked away the film of tears forming over her sapphire blue eyes she could not help but feel a tinge of relief. She had never wanted to bear that child. She would never want to bear his children. She wasn't even ready for a child, at the age of eighteen!
Perhaps that is why they all died. Perhaps Aslan knew as well as Susan did, that she was not ready to become a mother; that she was raped, forced into giving herself up to him.
Susan's heart clenched and she felt a wave of nausea as she thought of him. How could a man be so cruel, as Prince Rabadash of Calormen.
Rabadash had made it clear when he said it… his tone had been serious, his eyes frigid.
"Calormen needs a king, to succeed me. You must make sure I have an heir. You have failed me twice. One more miscarriage, my dear Susan, and you will never see your precious Narnia – or Calormen for that matter – ever again."
He had sworn to kill her after the second miscarriage, but didn't. One more chance, he had said – and she failed. Susan didn't want to die, certainly not. She wanted freedom, she wanted Narnia – yet she could not help but feel slightly triumphant by the fact that she had once again thwarted Rabadash's desire to have an heir of her. After all, Rabadash had incarcerated her, thwarted her of all her desires for 18 months.
For 18 months he had imprisoned her in his castle of Tashbaan. For 18 months he had deprived her of Narnia, it's air, it's grass and all it's glory.
For 18 months he had deprived her of her friends and her family.
Of Lucy. Of Edmund. Of Peter.
Susan missed them all; Lucy's gaiety and merry chatter… Edmund's bright eyes and teasing jokes… Peter's warm, loving smile…
Susan had not yet told Peter, or any of her siblings of what she was facing. She had not been allowed any contact with them at all; except through pretentiously happy letter she wrote to them, overseen and almost dictated by Rabadash. As far as Peter was concerned, Susan was living a happily married life among the grandeur of Tashbaan, and had no desire to return to him, or to Cair Paravel.
Just yesterday, Peter had arrived in Tashbaan. Susan was shocked and almost fainted when she saw his golden hair, shining blue eyes and dazzling, familiar smile – he was standing right in the throne room, his hair windswept, and his arms opened out to her, inviting. She had rushed into his waiting arms, and buried her head into his chest. He had smelt so familiar, so right, so Narnian and Susan had hated pulling away from his strong embrace.
However, they had no time for private conversation, and though Susan wanted to pour her heart out to Peter, and be comforted by him, Rabadash would have nothing of the sort; he occupied Peter the whole afternoon with pointless, mundane political small-talk, and Susan and Peter's conversations were limited to long glances.
Peter's blue eyes had been full of concern, for a minute after observing his sister's pale, drawn face he realized something was wrong. Her eyes never sparkled like they did in Narnia, and her smile was always forced – almost a grimace. Peter hated seeing Susan unhappy, and kicked himself for not visiting her sooner.
But after her sudden, rather unexpected marriage he had been busy battling giants, remnants of Jadis's army and all sorts of unpleasant things. Still, Susan never slipped from his mind, and he thought about her constantly, looking forward to her letters eagerly – yet even they disappointed him. He had expected warm, gushing letters which told him how much she missed him, Lucy and Edmund and Narnia; still he could not begrudge her for her seeming happiness, as he always wanted her to be happy. But the absence of any love in the letters still hurt him. He had made up his mind to ride to Calormen and meet Susan the day peace was restored to Narnia; and he did, leaving an indignant, angry Lucy and Edmund (who wanted ever so badly to accompany him) to reign over Narnia in his absence.
Still, Susan had no idea why he had come, how he was even miraculously allowed inside Tashbaan to see her - for she was allowed no private contact with him.
She and Peter had said nothing to each other, except for the whispered words "My chamber, at midnight" before they departed for bed. Peter had shot Susan a confused, worried, yet hopeful look at this, and nodded almost imperceptibly. He knew Susan was pregnant (though he did not know it was for the third time) and that her chamber was in a separate ward, away from the king. It was on the far east side of the castle, though luckily only on the second floor; he could climb up and sneak in.
How the High King Peter would react if he knew how Susan was being treated… he would probably break into Rabadash's chamber, challenge the Prince to a battle and successfully defeat him – and then declare Narnia at war against Calormen – Susan knew Peter's hotheadedness and impulsiveness, especially when it came to those he loved. But this time he would have to be sensible and logical. They were trapped in the castle, with no way out, and there were too many guards to attempt any sort of escape. Peter would not be able to save her with a slash of his sword, like he did for years ago, when he saved her from Maugrim and the wolves.
Peter had always been Susan's saviour – yet now, she was unsure if even he could – or would – try and save her.
A sudden noise at the window jolted Susan out of her dark thoughts. Her heart began to beat rapidly, with excitement, and fear. She was not so sure if she wanted to see Peter now, considering the circumstances. She stared at the window her hands clenching the silken sheets painfully, as the familiar, well-built figure slowly climbed over the window. Peter had come.
It was dark, with just a few moonbeams illuminating the chamber, and Susan could barely see his face. But she knew it was him, and as he slowly sat down on the edge of her bed, and gently brushed his warm fingers against her cheek, Susan could not hold back a gasp.
"Susan, it's just me" he whispered softly, placing a reassuring hand on her head.
Susan stared at his barely illuminated face and could see his eyes gleaming like dark pools in the night.
"Oh Peter!" she choked, suddenly getting up and flinging herself into his arms, and though she tried to control it she could not; she started sobbing uncontrollably.
"Su, what's wrong?!" Peter whispered, bewildered and scared as he held her tightly, running his hands comfortingly down her back. His heart clenched painfully at the sight of her distress. He allowed her to cry for a few minutes, whispering words of comfort into her ear and hugging her close to him. Then he disengaged himself from her slowly, wiping away her tears with his thumb.
"Tell me what's wrong, Susan, and I swear I'll fix it".
His voice was so tender, his eyes so sincere and loving that Susan nearly burst out crying again. But she held herself back, and in a soft, halting voice told him of the torment she had faced for the last 18 months.
She told him of how Rabadash had raped her, about her 3 miscarriages; how she would be killed after this one as she had failed to produce a child. As she recounted her story to him, Peter's face had turned a deathly white color, and his eyes were blazing with an anger and fervor she had never seen in him before. He was trembling with a rage Susan had never seen in him before, and she was afraid he would do something incredibly crazy, something stupid.
"Please don't do anything stupid Peter" she had ended, almost pleadingly.
He made no reply but stared at her, shocked and angry, Susan's heart plummeted as she realized that his eyes were glistening with tears. One of his hands moved towards where Susan knew the hilt of his sword would be, and she grasped it quickly. Let Peter feel the hilt of his sword in his hand, and he would surely go crazy.
When he spoke, his voice was deadly, and shook with such emotion, hatred and anger that Susan flinched.
"I'm going to kill him."
She knew he meant what he said.
"Peter, please be practical-"
He cut her off angrily, eyes blazing. "PRACTICAL! HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO BE PRACTICAL WHEN ALL I WANT TO DO IS KILL THIS BASTARD-"
"DRIVE A SWORD INTO HIS HEART, FOR DOING THIS TO YOU AND-"
"Peter, please just listen to m-"
"KILL MYSELF FOR EVEN LETTING YOU GO IN THE FIRST PLACE, FOR NOT TAKING CARE OF YOU-"
Her voice was commanding, and queenly, and he stopped, his shoulders shaking, his eyes still wet.
"How could he do this to you? How could I let this happen?" His voice, and the expression on his face was ravaged, and the tears finally leaked out of his eyes as he pulled Susan into a sudden hug.
"I'm so sorry." he cried and Susan's heart cracked. He looked at her with desperate blue eyes, and asked pleadingly, "Will you ever forgive me?"
"No!" Susan cried. "This is not your fault, so I shall certainly not forgive you for something you have not done. Do NOT feel guilty Peter. You never knew that he – that he…" Susan faltered and cut off abruptly, the tears now flowing down her cheeks as well. She buried her face in her hands, suddenly ashamed.
It's you who must forgive me, Peter, for what I am about to ask of you.
Peter stroked her hair, running his fingers through her black curls. "I'll save you," he murmured into her hair.
Susan pulled back abruptly and stared at him for a full long moment. "How?"
The question was a simple one, and Peter then realized that there was no way in the name of Aslan that he could get her out of this castle alive before Rabadash found out about the miscarriage. They were trapped, but Peter knew that he would never see the day his sister died.
"Oh Su, what am I to do… I have failed…" he whispered, looking at her with dark, soulful eyes.
"I have a solution."
Susan felt like slapping herself when the words tumbled, unwillingly, out of her mouth. Peter looked at her expectantly.
Susan's heart skipped a leap, and thumped wildly as she thought of the solution. She felt disgusted with herself, as she tried to suppress the sudden thrill that shot through her body as she thought of it. He would surely despise her if she revealed it to him, yet it was the only way he could save her.
Does he love me enough to go this far? She wondered, and her heart gave another wild leap as she thought of him.
Susan had thought of this plan after her second miscarriage, and dismissed it, disgusted with herself. Though she knew Peter would be the first to jump in front of an arrow for her, she could not expect this of him. It was wrong, sick, disgusting, dirty of her to think of Peter in such a lewd way – yet after being raped mercilessly by Rabadash, Susan trusted nobody else.
There is no way he will agree to this. He'll be disgusted with me, and hate me forever. I am disgusting and horrible to think of Peter, my brother like this.
Still Susan had no choice – it was either this or death for them both. When she spoke, her words were awkward and fumbling, and Peter wondered why she seemed so afraid of telling him whatever her solution was.
"What is it, Su?" he asked her gently, now placing his hand on hers.
As Susan felt the warmth of his fingers, she wondered what it would feel like to have the same, rough, warm, calloused hands running along her bare skin. She shivered and then felt disgusted with herself again, but could not help answering him; his expression was so caring and loving.
"The only way I can be saved is if – if I were to become – pregnant – again – before he realizes…" she trailed off, looking at him, expecting disgust on his face.
He looked confused, but angry.
"How would you achieve that? If you think I am going to allow you to approach even ten feet of him after this, you are very much mistaken Susan!"
Susan rolled her eyes and sighed exasperatedly. Why did Peter have to be so thick-headed at a time like this!
"I didn't mean with him Peter. I meant someone else. He would never know the difference-"
Peter looked alarmed. "SUSAN!" he exclaimed angrily. "Susan Pevensie, no Calormene shall ever lay his finger on you again, so that's really NOT possible." His voice was icy cold, and he glared at her, as if daring her to argue.
"I didn't mean a Calormene, Peter," Susan stated dully, trying to cover up the panic she felt, the fluttering of her heart.
Why is he acting so idiotic? Does he not understand? Or is he pretending not to?
"Then who! Do you expect me to summon up some noble King from another country to impregnate you!" he asked, bewildered.
"We have no time for summoning another king, but perhaps if one is already here-" Susan hissed, and at Peter's growing confusion, she finally shrieked hysterically.
"Must I spell it out to you Peter?! Is it not obvious! There is but one other king in this castle, and he is from Narnia! I meant YOU!"
"WHAT?!" Peter practically yelled, nearly falling backwards off of the bed.
Susan looked away, shame-faced, and did not reply.
There was a dead silence, and Susan looked down at her hands, her eyes brimming with tears. He would surely despise her now, probably even enough to leave her to die. She felt disgusted with herself. This was Peter. Her brother Peter. The boy she had known since the day she was born, who had teased her and played with her ever since she was a child.
When Susan finally looked up, her heart skipped a beat. Peter was staring at her, alarmed. His dark eyes were wide, filled with shock, confusion and something else she could not quite recognize. It sent a shiver down her spine. There was no disgust on his face, only astonishment.
"You – you want me – me to sleep wi-wi-" he stammered, not able to complete the sentence.
"I haven't asked for this Peter! I don't want it, and I know you don't either, so just forget it please, and GO!" Susan moaned, feeling mortified, tears streaming down her cheeks.
"No, no! I can't leave you! But – but you're my sister, and – I – I can't, I shouldn't-" Peter was saying wildly, his eyes flashing.
"Then just go, please, now, and let me die!" Susan cried.
Oh Aslan, kill me now.
"NO! NEVER! I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT!" he practically roared, and Susan blanched.
She heaved a breath, and avoided his intense gaze. "Then what are you going to do?"
There was another long, awkward pause. Susan could hear him breathing deeply.
"I will not let you die Susan."
His words were serious, and she knew he meant it. Her heart thumped wildly. Did he care for her enough to do that?
"Peter, you have no choice. You will just have to let me die here, go back to Narnia, give Lucy and Edmund my love and –"
Her broken speech was cut off by Peter placing his finger on her lips to silence her. Susan felt electrified by the contact. Why did he have to touch her now?
Her body was responding most inappropriately, and Susan struggled to push away her dirty thoughts.
"I told you Susan, I will not let you die. I love you and I will do anything for you."
His voice was steady, and Susan dared to look into his blazing eyes.
"Peter you don't have to do this-" she began weakly, but he silenced her with a look.
"I said I would do anything for you. I meant it."
Oh Aslan! Susan thought. She felt thrilled and excited, but completely disgusted with herself. Her brave, noble Peter would actually do this for her. Peter, who always seemed to do right, would willingly commit incest, when he knew it was wrong, when he knew it was a sin.
"I'm sorry," she finally whispered, hanging her head.
Susan looked at him, raising her eyebrows. Peter exhaled deeply, and she could tell he was a bit nervous. His dark blue eyes remained locked with hers, and Susan trembled under his intense, smoldering gaze. He continued staring at her, as he slowly extended his arm, placing his warm hands on her shoulders. She could feel the heat of them through the thin cotton of her nightgown, and her heartbeat sped up.
Slowly, he moved his hands, his fingers grazing her collarbones, towards the strings at the front of her gown, holding it together. Susan gasped, but did not break eye contact with him. His fingers trembling against her chest, he slowly undid the knots.
The gown slipped from he shoulders and Susan suddenly felt extremely shy. She had never been naked in front of him before. But Peter continued to stare at her, his eyes full of love and – was it longing or desire?
His voice was husky, and sounded so, so different to her ears. It was no longer that of a brother, caring and warm; but that of a lover, filled with passion and desire. Susan said nothing, heart slamming wildly against her chest. Keeping his eyes locked with hers, Peter cupped Susan's cheeks, and pulled her gently towards him.
Susan stared at his lips wondering what it would be like to have them covering hers, to taste them.
"I love you," Peter murmured, his breath warm on Susan's cheek, as he kissed it softly.
He had never kissed her like that before, letting his lips linger against her soft skin. Then he kissed her forehead, in a brotherly fashion, which suddenly seemed out of place.
"Peter this is a sin," Susan whispered, relishing the feeling of his hands, which were now caressing her bare back and sides.
He pulled back and looked at her, his gaze intense.
"But what would Aslan say?"
"Aslan would not have let your three children die if this were not to happen Susan".
Susan's eyes widened.
Peter continued. "I know this may be considered wrong here. But not in Narnia. We don't belong here anyways. We didn't even belong in that place – England. And it doesn't matter if we're considered sinners here – " Peter paused, looking down, and Susan blushed. His fingers were tracing random patterns on her back, and it felt so good…
"And since we are sinning anyways," he continued, his voice suddenly hoarse, "let's make the most of it."
Susan was about to reply, when he brushed his soft lips against hers; once, twice, then thrice. Susan bit back a moan as he ran his tongue against her bottom lip, gently, almost shyly, as if asking for her permission. Susan granted it immediately, and from then on, the kiss changed from gentle to passionate. Peter's wandering hands moved from her abdomen upwards, and Susan moaned. She felt Peter smile against her lips, and then he pulled back suddenly.
"Peter-" Susan gasped. He gazed at her, his eyes now roaming hungrily over her, and one of his hands moved downwards, to rest on her thighs. She gasped and he smirked, almost triumphantly.
"Do you like this, Susan?" his voice was teasing, as he ran his hands up and down her thighs.
"Y-yes," she whimpered, as his hands roamed higher and higher. The back of his fingers brushed a particularly sensitive spot between her legs, and she moaned again.
Peter grinned, but removed his hands, now placing them around her waist.
How typical of him to be a tease, Susan thought. Peter always teased her, even when they were toddlers – of course this was a very different kind of teasing.
"Do you want more, then?" he asked softly. His voice, though still teasing, was laced with love and concern.
Susan thought how unlike Rabadash he was. Rabadash was forceful and rough, never caring to please her. Peter was gentle and made her feel pleasure with the slightest of touches .
"Ye-yes…" she murmured, as he kissed her shoulder. Peter suddenly straightened up, looking deeply into her eyes.
"Susan – I know Rabadash has done terrible things to you, and it makes me hate him so much. You don't deserve that… you deserve so much, so much more. If you want, I would like to – to –" Peter broke off, suddenly blushing, and looked at Susan almost shyly.
Susan smiled, a bit coyly. "Like to do what, Peter?"
"Make love to you…" he whispered so softly, she barely heard him.
Susan blushed red, and Peter saw the sparkle in her eyes had returned. Kissing her on the lips, he placed his hands on the inside of her thighs, sliding his fingers under the lacey material of her underwear.
Susan moaned his name, not for the last time that night.
9 months later…
The Calormenes celebrated the birth of the new prince with much pomp and splendor. Queen Susan, the mother, however, felt a tug at her heartstrings whenever she glanced at her newborn son. He had her pale skin, and dark blue eyes. His hair was golden, like a lion's mane – he was a magnificent boy, just like his father. Thankfully, Rabadash suspected nothing, dismissing the odd hair color as a co-incidence.
Thank You Peter – for giving me my life and my son.