Sharpay Evans is the finest specimen of a woman that Zeke has ever known. She is much smarter than people give her credit for, and, when other people aren't looking, he's seen her do the nicest things. Even though she has more money, talent and looks than most people at East High have combined, she still takes the time out of her day to talk to the commoners such as himself.

Of course, her taut, curvy, hot body, beautiful, shiny hair and perfect everything don't hurt, especially when he thinks about these things near his body.

The only thing is, she's harder to reach than a free throw from the opposite side of the court. He thought that, after prom, they would end up seeing each other more. Would end up talking late night hours on the phone. Would end up going to get food together. Would end up baking together, even. Would end up doing those high school things that he had been saving just for her, the "parking," the skipping class to make out, holding hands in the hallway. There is only a month away before graduation, and he had yet to have a public girlfriend.

Zeke is dedicated to Sharpay Evans.

And then there is Ryan Evans.

And that's where things get complicated.

Ryan Evans is a genuinely good person. He is open, inviting, calm, hilarious. He has a smile that is contagious, warm. And, if Zeke can say it and keep his masculinity, he is pretty good looking, for a man.

But all of this still doesn't excuse Zeke's dream from the other night, where blonde hair wasn't so long anymore, where brown eyes became blue, where soft became hard, so hard.

Maybe he is just having a nervous breakdown before graduation? He is going to miss his friend, even if they aren't exactly close. He's going to miss everybody, and when he thinks about how far away Troy is going to be, he gets at least a little bit choked up.

Of course, getting choked up isn't the same as wondering what it would be like to kiss Troy.

And then we're back to the complicated part.

It would be too easy to say that Ryan is related to Sharpay, and so there is a connection, and so a few wires got crossed, because the two are so completely separate in his mind. Sharpay is the girl he has been following ever since she flipped her perfectly trimmed hair at him in the fifth grade when he asked to borrow a pencil. Ryan is the boy that he wasn't allowed to talk to in fifth grade because none of the boys were talking to Ryan because Ryan was gay. Sharpay is the girl who lives her life as though she is Barbie and the rest of the world were all Lisa Lionhearts. Ryan is the boy who, after following his sister, finally broke out of his shell, proved his worth, made himself noticeable.

Maybe Zeke is thinking about it too much.

His head hurts.

And he's horny as he's ever been.

Maybe he could stop thinking about it so hard, he thinks, as he shuts the light off and lets his hand drift south. After all, as long as he doesn't do anything about it, blonde is blonde is hot.

Right?