Dean woke up when he heard a semi roll by the motel. He blinked his eyes and rolled over. He frowned when he saw the place beside him was empty. He moaned and sat up in bed. He saw Lyssa sitting on one of the dinette chairs. She had her legs pulled up and was resting her coffee cup on her knees as she looked out the window. He saw the distant look on her face and knew that she was thinking hard about something. Dean had tried to get her to talk to him the night before but she had shut him down. Her words about being afraid echoed in his ears and worried him. He had never known Lyssa to be scared. And if she was, she always hid it and never gave a voice to it.
"There's more coffee if you want some," she said still looking out the window.
"All right, Bambi, let's stop doing this dance right now. I let you get away with it last night because I was dead on my feet but we are going to talk now," he answered climbing out of bed.
Lyssa sighed, "Dean, I have to tell you something but before I say it, you have to promise not to freak out or get defensive. Can you do that for me?" she said her eyes staying on the window.
Dean stood by the bed for a moment considering what Lyssa might tell him. His mind raced through a bunch of theories and none of them were good. He turned and walked over to the counter and poured himself a cup of coffee. He turned and leaned against the counter and looked at his wife's back.
"I'll try not to freak out and get defensive. I can't promise anything but I will try for you," he answered truthfully.
"Okay," Lyssa muttered. She grabbed her mug and took a sip of it. She held the mug in her two hands like she needed to keep her hands warm. "I'm scared, Dean that... That I'm not helping you at all being here with you. I'm scared that I've caused more harm than good being your wife," she said her eyes staring into her coffee.
Dean stood there stunned. His mind went back to all the months she had been by his side. She had helped him. He knew that she was the reason that he felt like he could love again. He placed the mug of coffee on the counter and walked over to Lyssa. He took her coffee mug from her and placed it on the window sill. He moved in front of her blocking her view of the window and forcing her to look at him.
"Don't you ever think that for a moment, Lyssa. Having you here with me has helped me more than anything. And you know that. Hell, you saw what happened when you weren't here, right?" Dean told her.
Lyssa looked away from him, "Me being here hasn't changed anything. Sam and you are getting further and further apart, Ruby is still alive, Cas is still a dick with wings and," Lyssa turned and looked back at Dean, "you still slept with Anna. I didn't change anything. I made it worse."
"Really? Please explain to me how you made it worse?"
Dean watched as Lyssa stood up. She showed him the scars on her wrist and the ones running up her arms. Dean saw the tears in her eyes before she turned away. He looked at her back and shoulders. He felt guilty. He was sure that watching him tear apart demons and torture them had pushed his wife to this point. He watched as Lyssa turned back and faced him.
"This isn't your fault, Dean. I love you, but I just... I can't keep acting like I am not some broken shell of the girl I use to be. Maybe if I was that girl, I would have been more help to you. But instead of helping you, my problems have just added pain and guilt to you," Lyssa raked her hands through her hair, "I want to help you Dean, but I'm not stupid. I can't just expect for everything to be happy and perfect like some fairy tale just because we love each other. This is not some fairy tale that is going to have a happy ending," she stated.
Dean shook his head. He walked over to his wife and took her by the shoulders, "We are going to have a happy ending. We are going to have that house with the stupid white picket fence that I will complain about painting every year with two kids and a damn dog to go along with our cat. I don't care how many evil sons of bitches I have to kill to get you all that but you will get a goddamn happy ending even if I have to give my last breath to get it for you."
Lyssa gave him a little smile but the tears still rolled down her cheeks, "This isn't about a happy ending, baby. This is about me knowing that I can't help you. I don't know how to be in a relationship. I don't know how to love you the way you deserved to be loved, Dean. I don't even know how I should be loved," Lyssa pulled away from Dean and walked over to the bed, "You know everything for me growing up got twisted and was so wrong. And now here with you, I don't know how to help you. I don't even know how to get you to talk cause you won't talk to me. You're too scared of causing me emotional scars," she told him crossing her arms on her chest.
Dean stood there. He didn't know what to say to Lyssa to make her realize that he loved her and that mean that everything would be okay. He crossed his arms on his chest and leaned against the window sill, "So you spent all night awake thinking up this little speech?" he asked. He saw something in her eyes then and he got that sinking feeling that there was more to it than just that; Lyssa was keeping something from him.
"No, I spent all night awake trying to figure out how to tell you that I'm going with Artie to Bobby's for a few days," she answered.
Dean frowned, "Why? Because of all this?"
"No, maybe a little but mostly it's because of Sam. Artie doesn't want to be around him anymore."
"So you are going along for the ride?"
"No, for emotional support. She's my sister, Dean, you of all people should understand that."
Dean nodded and ran his hand over his face. God, he really wished he wouldn't have gotten out of bed earlier. He didn't want Lyssa to go because he knew that they had to talk more about the bomb she had dropped on him. He looked at her though and saw the sadness in her eyes. She didn't want to leave him anymore then he wanted her to go. Maybe though having some time apart would be good for them. He sighed, "Fine. I do get it. I'm not happy about this at all though," he looked at her and gave her a smile, "I love you Bambi and I kind of want you with me."
Lyssa nodded. She wiped away her tears and she smiled slightly, "I know. I love you. It'll only be for a few days, a week at the most. Then I'll come back and everything will be fine again and... We can talk more about what I brought up this morning," she answered softly.
Dean nodded. He walked over to Lyssa and pulled her into his arms and held her tight. He kissed her on the head, "I'll take a shower and then I'll reluctantly drive you and Pyro to the nearest bus stop," he told her.
"Okay. I love you, Dean."
"I know. I love you too, Bambi."
Dean pulled away and kissed her softly on the lips. He let go and walked into the washroom. Lyssa's words echoed in his head but he was sure that once she came back from Bobby's they could work things out. He was sure of it.
Artie zipped up her duffel. She heard the flutter of wings. She turned and smiled when she saw Cas sitting on the couch holding a bottle of whiskey in his hands. She raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms on her chest.
"Since when do you drink, Cassie?" she asked.
Castiel looked up at her, "Since I failed you and Lyssa. I have seen Dean drink many nights and I thought it would help," he answered.
Castiel placed the bottle on the floor, "No, it did not," he frowned, "maybe three bottles wasn't enough."
Artie shook her head, "I think that was enough. I am sure that it's safe to say that you can't get drunk."
Cas nodded, "Being an angel is a burden at times."
Artie smirked, "I can see that."
She saw the sad look on his face and knew that she needed to say or do something to comfort him. She walked over to the couch and sat beside him. She reached out and took his hand. He held her hand tight in his own.
"This isn't your fault, Cas, I told you that before. I just need to be away from Sam."
"I do not believe that you leaving will benefit you or Sam. As appealing as leaving sounds, you are still just running away."
Artie sighed, "I know. I usually don't run away, I usually stay and fight. I just can't this time, Cassie. I am tired of standing in front of Sam and laying my heart bare. He just doesn't get it."
Artie looked at Cas. The frown was still on his face. She watched as he got up and pulled his hand away from hers. She watched as he walked to the middle of the room. He turned and looked at her.
"What about Lyssa? What are you going to do if..." Cas trailed off, "You have to admit that she needs Dean."
Artie nodded and clasped her hands together. She looked at the floor, "I know she does. She won't listen to me though. She refuses to let me go back alone," Artie felt tears come to her eyes, "She loves me too much and she wants to protect me. I know that being away from Dean will kill her. He's the only guy she will ever trust completely," Artie looked up at Cas and let more tears fall, "If I was stronger, I would just do the spell myself and leave alone. I know she's be better off here with Dean but," Artie took a deep breath, "She's my sister; my hero. I need her with me."
She saw Castiel nod. She got up and wiped away her tears. She walked over to Cas and hugged him tight. He had become her friend and she knew that she would miss him the most out o everyone. She felt Cas hug her back and knew that Cas would miss her as well. She pulled away and smiled at him.
"Watch over Sam and Dean for Lys and me. Sam pisses me off to no end but I still love him," she said.
Castiel nodded, "I'll do that. You take care of yourself and Lyssa."
Artie saw the hesitation on Cas's face. She leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. She pulled away and he was gone. She blinked her tears and sighed. She turned around and walked back to her bag to finish packing everything. She tried not to think of Castiel's words or the look on his face. She knew that she was disappointing him but she didn't know what else to do. She just wanted to get far away from Sam Winchester.
Lyssa placed John's journal in the glove compartment of the impala before climbing out of the car and slamming the door. The three and a half hour car ride had been filled with silence due to the fact that no one knew what to say. Dean had held her hand the entire time and it had almost made Lyssa burst into tears. She turned and glanced back and looked at the glove compartment through the window. She thought about the two letters she had tucked there for Sam and Dean. She sighed and walked to the back of the impala. She looked up and saw Dean looking at her. She then turned and saw the annoyed look on Sam and Artie's faces.
"What?" she asked looking at the three of them. She was completely confused.
"Dean is being a dick again," Artie said.
"Dean," Lyssa said.
Dean held up his hands, "What? I just want to make sure that you are making the right decision," he said softly. Lyssa saw the soft look of love in his eyes, "You can't really blame me, Bambi. I am not looking forward to spending time away from you."
Lyssa blinked the tears away from her eyes. She walked over to Dean and wrapped her arms around him and held him close. She felt his arms crush her to his body. She closed her eyes and took in his scent for what she was sure would be the last time. She pulled away and kissed him softly on the lips. She felt him kiss her back. She pulled away and opened her eyes. She looked into his green eyes and knew that if he knew what she really had planned he would have never agreed. Hell, he probably would have locked her in the trunk by now to keep her with him. She rested her forehead against his and gave him the best fake smile she could muster.
"I know you are going to hate it, but it's all right Dean. I'll be back in no time and everything will be all right. Okay?" she asked softly.
"Okay," Dean kissed her again, "I love you."
"I love you too."
Lyssa pulled away from Dean. She watched as he sighed and opened the trunk. She ran her hand over her face really hoping that neither Dean nor Sam saw the shine of tears in her eyes. She reached in the trunk and grabbed her bag. She saw Artie do the same. She turned away from the trunk but heard Dean slam it down. She smiled at Sam and took Lucky's carrier from him. The kitten was not happy about travelling in the confined space but it was the only way the bus line would let Lyssa bring the cat. Lyssa accepted the hug that Sam gave her. She held him tight.
"You look after your brother," she told him softly.
"I'll try," Sam answered pulling away.
Lyssa nodded. She saw Arte already standing by the bus that was waiting by the gas station. Lyssa walked towards her. She heard the Winchesters following her. She turned and looked at them. "Guys, I can make it the six feet to the bus by myself," she said.
"Bambi," Dean started.
"No, babe. I will call you when we get to Bobby's. I promise."
She saw Sam and Dean nod. Sam turned and walked back to the impala. Dean hesitated and Lyssa saw the tears in his eyes. He finally turned and also made his way back to the impala. Lyssa turned and walked to the bus. She climbed on behind Artie finally letting her tears fall.
She sat beside Artie when her sister chose of couple of empty seats in the middle of the bus. Lyssa placed the cat carrier on the seat between them and rested her head on the back of the seat.
"Lys, you can still go with them," Artie started.
"I made up my mind, Artie and I am not changing it," Lyssa said closing her eyes.
"Lys, I know you don't want to hear this but... Dean needs you more than I do. I can do this alone."
Lyssa opened her eyes. She turned and looked at Artie and reached out and grabbed her sister's hand, "I know you could do this without me. I just don't want you too," she said.
She held her sister's hand tight as the bus pulled away and onto the road. Lyssa saw the impala still sitting there as they drove past. Lyssa didn't even want to think about what Dean could be thinking. All she could think about was her own pain. She leaned back against the seat and closed her eyes. The tears rolled down her cheeks though. She knew that she wouldn't be able to hide this pain; not this time. There was no hiding the pain of her heart being torn into pieces.
Sam glanced at Dean. He hadn't said one word since driving away from the bus stop. Sam turned and looked down at the information in his lap about Merrick, Lilith's lieutenant and where they could find him in New Orleans.
"You know we could have used Lyssa's help in New Orleans with finding Merrick," Sam said trying to start a conversation.
"She wouldn't have helped," Dean answered his voice filed with anger and regret.
"Because she can't handle the fallout anymore. She hates seeing us torture demons. And to be truthful, I am kind of sick of it too."
Sam looked at Dean and saw that his brother was griping the steering wheel of the impala tight. Sam closed his notebook and turned around so that he was facing Dean.
"If you are so sick of it, why didn't you go with Lys and Artemis?" Sam asked.
"You think I didn't want to, Sam? You have no idea how many times I have thought about just picking some town and settling down with Bambi."
"Then why haven't you?"
"She won't let me!"
Sam was confused, "Wait, what?"
Dean sighed, "The last hunt I asked Bambi to come with to some small town so we could quit hunting and settle down. She told me that I wouldn't last a week and that if she loved me any less, she would let me run away," Dean glanced at Sam and gave him a sad look before looking back at the road, "Bambi told me that this is what I was meant to do, it was who I was," he explained to Sam.
Sam was shocked. He sat back more than a little confused, "She wouldn't let you stop."
"No, she wouldn't. All this crap was weighing down on her, on us, and she never ran for the nearest exit. She just can't take it anymore. She can't handle having to pick up the pieces after I spend hours torturing a demon."
Sam looked down at his hands. He closed his eyes and knew that it was his fault that Dean was torturing demons. Sam kept pushing the issue of finding Lilith, and Sam knew that if he had stopped talking about it Dean would have probably giving up the search for Lilith months ago. Sam raked a hand through his hair and turned to look at his older brother.
"I'm sorry, Dean," he said.
"For what, Sammy?" Dean asked the anger suddenly gone from his voice.
Sam smiled slightly when Dean called him 'Sammy'. Deep down it made Sam feel like that little boy all full of hope and adventure again. "This is all my fault. I'm the one who kept pushing to go after Lilith. Maybe if I would have just left it alone-."
"Sam, this isn't your fault. Cas would have probably forced us to go after Lilith in the end anyway. Plus, Bambi and Pyro seemed to want Lilith dead too," Dean answered.
Sam nodded, "Yeah, they do but I still feel like this is my fault. I'm sorry, Dean."
Dean reached over and patted Sam on the shoulder, "It's all right, Sammy. It's not your fault but you could do everyone a favour and not act like such an ass when Bambi and Pyro come back."
"You think Artemis will come back?"
"Yeah, I do. She'll come back on her own or Bobby will send her back. Either way, she'll come back on the road."
Sam smiled and nodded. He grabbed his notebook and opened it again. He hoped Dean was right. He had noticed how quiet the impala was without the girls. The silence was thick and empty. Sam didn't like it.
Artie climbed out of Bobby's car and cracked her back. Being on a bus for ten hours was no fun at all. Artie didn't understand why the hell the bus needed to stop at every tiny town along the highway. She turned and saw Lyssa climb out after Bobby. Her sister carried Lucky's carrier up to the house and disappeared inside. Artie looked back when she saw Bobby looking at her. She slammed the door and walked to the trunk.
"You mind telling me what is going on with your sister?" Bobby asked opening the trunk.
"She just doesn't like being away from Dean," Artie said.
"Why don't I believe you?"
Artie shrugged as she grabbed her bags, "It's the truth."
Bobby grabbed her arm and tossed her bag on the ground. "I can tell that something is wrong with her. Just like I can tell that you are trying your damnest to lie to me. Now, tell me the truth before I beat it out of you."
Artie leaned against the back of the car, "You won't like it."
"Tell me anyway."
Artie crossed her arms and looked at the ground. Silence descended on them as she tried to think of the right words to tell Bobby that they were going back to their own world. She felt tears come to her eyes and she tried to blink them away.
"I decided that I wanted to go back to our old world. I just... I can't stand being around Sam anymore," Artie stated.
Bobby cursed, "And Lyssa doesn't want you to go back by yourself," he said.
"Noo, she doesn't. She's my sister and she wants to take care of me."
Bobby was silent. Artie looked up and saw the tears in his eyes, "You could stay here with me. You don't have to go back there. This is your home, Artie. I wouldn't mind the company or the help."
Artie gave Bobby a sad smile and wiped her tears away, "Thanks Bobby but I can't. I want to be normal again and I will never get that here. Here I will always be one of the Bennett girls, Sam's ex-girlfriend and the demons will use that. It's better and safer for everyone if I just go home," she stated.
Bobby pulled her in his arms and held her close to him. "Is it better for Lyssa? Do you think leaving will help her?" he asked softly.
"No, I know it won't, Bobby but I just," Artie sobbed and held Bobby tighter, "I don't want to be without her either. If I was a better person I'd push her away and make her stay. I'm not a better person though."
"Oh, sweetie. You're a good person. You just want to have your big sister with you."
Artie nodded. She closed her eyes and cried in Bobby's chest. She knew that Bobby was trying to make her feel better. The truth was it wasn't working that well. She knew that she was probably making a horrible mistake but it wasn't going to stop her. She was going to do what she thought she needed to in order to be happy.
She pulled away from Bobby and wiped her tears away. She reached down and grabbed her bag from the ground. She looked up and gave Bobby a smile. "I want you to know Bobby that you were more a father to me then my own father. I'll always love you for that," Artie told him.
Bobby smiled back at her, "You're more than like a daughter to me, you are my daughter. You and Lyssa and those two ijits are my family. You remember that, all right?"
"I won't forget, Bobby."
Artie grabbed her bag and swung it over her shoulder. She walked towards the house trying to take in every detail of it. She wanted to be able to remember even the tiniest of details when she was back in her old world. She didn't want to forget the place that she called home.
Dean flipped open his phone and cursed. He had missed a call from Lyssa. He had put his phone to charge in the bathroom and crashed on one of the beds exhausted after driving most of the night to get to New Orleans. He must have been dead to the world not to hear his phone ring. He pressed the phone to his ear to listen to the message.
"Hey Dean, it's Lys. I just wanted to let you know that we made it to Bobby's in one piece. Don't worry about calling me back tonight, I know you are probably too busy avoiding Sam and dinking. Just... Go easy on him, babe. I love you, talk to you soon," he sighed when the message finished.
He flipped the phone closed as Sam walked in the door carrying in bags Dean hoped were filled with breakfast. He turned and looked at Sam as he shoved his phone in his pocket.
"Tell me that's breakfast" Dean said walking over to Sam to grab a bag.
"Yes, it is," Sam shoved a bag at Dean and walked over to the table to place the others on it, "I think I found a lead on where Merrick is," Sam added.
"No," Dean moaned.
Sam raised an eyebrow, "No?"
Dean gave Sam a look as he emptied the paper bag and sat at the dinette table. He grabbed a coffee when Sam placed the tray on the table. Dean took a long sip as he opened the take out container. He smiled when he saw an omelette with bacon, sausage and ham stuffed in the container with home fries. Heart attack waiting to happen as Sam liked to call it.
"So now that we're here, you don't want to go after Merrick now?" Sam pushed pulling out a chair across from Dean.
Dean rolled his eyes, "I still want to find him. Just right now I want to have my breakfast, take a shower and call my wife. Hunting the big bad demon can wait until I have done those three things."
It was Sam's turn to roll his eyes, "If Lys was here, she'd tell you to go after Merrick first."
"Yeah, well, since when do I listen to Bambi?"
Dean dug into his food and saw the pouty look on Sam's face as his younger brother dung into his fruit shake or whatever healthy crap Sam ate. Dean looked down at his greasy breakfast and ate while his thoughts drifted to what Sam had just said. Dean didn't think that Lyssa would be so quick to push him to run after a demon. He could still hear their last conversation echoing in his ears. He knew that his wife would want instead for him to stay as far away from any torturing as he could. Lyssa actually understood what it did to him emotionally every time he picked up Ruby's knife and tortured a demon. Dean looked up and glanced at his brother. Too bad that his couldn't convince his brother to not torture demons without looking weak in Sam's eyes. It was just another thing that caused the drift between them to get wider.
Lyssa stood at the kitchen window and looked out at the back lot. She felt tears roll down her cheeks as she remembered every moment she had shared with Dean in that lot. She closed her eyes and wished that she could just forget all those memories. It hurt too much to have them in her head reminding her of what she would be leaving behind.
"Lyssa, your sister," Bobby started walking into the kitchen. Lyssa opened her eyes and knew that he had stopped talking because he had seen her shoulders shaking as she cried.
"What does Artie want now?" she asked grabbing a mug and walking over to the coffee pot.
"I'm not Dean. I am not going to let you change the subject," Bobby pushed.
Lyssa sighed. She placed the mug on the counter and turned to face Bobby. She wiped away the tears but more fell. He crossed her arms on her chest. "Artie told you, didn't she?" Lyssa whispered.
"Yes, she did. I happen to think you going back is a horrible idea."
Lyssa smiled, "She's my sister. She-."
Lyssa jumped when Bobby threw the book he had been holding across the room, "I am so sick of you ijits sacrificing yourselves for your siblings!" he yelled.
Lyssa stood there stunned. She then walked over to Bobby and hugged him close. She felt him hug her tight and her mind flashed to the hug Bobby had given Dean when Dean had come back from Hell. She wondered if Bobby had held Dean as tight as he was holding her. She pulled away and looked into Bobby's kind eyes.
"She's my sister, Bobby. I spent all my life watching out for her. I can't stop now," she said softly.
Bobby shook his head, "The price is too high this time, Lyssa and you know it. You can't risk your own life just to protect Artie."
"Yes, I can. I have too Bobby. I can't stay here if she goes back. I'll drive myself insane wondering if she is getting hurt or not."
"What about whether or not you get hurt?"
Lyssa shook her head, "I am never going to let him touch me again. I promise you Bobby, I won't let that happen again."
She watched as Bobby nodded. She smiled relieved when she heard Artie honk the horn from the outside. Bobby swore and turned to walk out of the room. He paused and turned back.
"You should call Dean and tell him. He has the right to say goodbye to you," Bobby told her before leaving.
Lyssa nodded and watched as he left. She turned and walked back over to the window in the kitchen. She dug in her pocket and flipped her phone open. She needed to hear dean's voice. She knew that Bobby was right but she also knew that she couldn't tell Dean over the phone. She dialled his number and decided she would make up her mind once she actually heard her husband's voice.
She listened as the phone rang and rang. She sighed when she got his voice mail, "Dean, baby I need to talk to you. I... Could you please call me back? It's nothing serious but... I miss your voice," she said quickly. She hung up her cell phone and looked outside, "Nothing serious, really. I'm just leaving you behind to go back to my old world," she muttered.
She picked up her cup and sipped the coffee inside. She hoped Dean called her back soon. Bobby and Artie had gone to get the supplies for the spell and once they got back Lyssa and Artie would do the reversal spell. Lyssa didn't know how long it would take for the reversal spell to work and the last thing she wanted was for Dean to get her message and call her back only to find out she was gone. She sighed and shook her head. "Why the fuck did I have to fall in love with him?" she asked the empty kitchen. No answer came.
Sam walked out of the hotel room pissed. Dean had spent an hour basically yelling at Sam because the younger Winchester had dared turned off Dean's phone so he could rest on the drive to New Orleans. Sam knew the only reason Dean was more pissed off than usual was because he had missed Lyssa's call again. The two of them were playing phone tag and it was driving his brother batty.
Sam yanked open the passenger door and sat in the impala. He opened the glove department relieved when half a ton of girl stuff didn't fall out, and grabbed John's journal. He wanted to double check and see if their dad had mentioned a demon named Merrick before. He flipped open John's journal and frowned when it opened to the back where two white envelopes had been placed. He ignored the envelopes and read the entry on the page because he recognized Lyssa's writing.
I'm sorry about this but I know that you two can make it. You two are Winchesters and doing this is in your blood. You can carry on without us. Keep fighting the good fight and remember: We love you both so much.
Sam's frown deepened. He didn't like the way that sounded. It sounded like a permanent goodbye. He ran his finger over Lyssa and Artie's initials under the message. He turned and looked at the white envelopes. He grabbed them and flipped them over. He saw one with his name on it and another with Dean's name. He took the one with his name and opened it. He pulled out the sheet of paper and unfolded it. He recognized Artie's writing. He bit his lip and read the short letter she had left him.
Sam, I'm going back to my old world. Lyssa is coming with me. I just... I don't want this or want you anymore. You can move on, Sam. I'm done. Have a good life and for Dean's sake, please stay safe.
Fuck I think I still love you. Artie.
Sam looked up and stared at the motel room. He knew that if he walked in there with the letter for Dean, his brother would want to drive right to Bobby's forgetting about Merrick the demon. Sam took the envelope for Dean and turned to drop it in the backseat where Dean would probably wouldn't find it for months.
He stopped when he caught his eyes in the rear view mirror. He saw the hard cold look in his eyes and didn't recognize himself. He looked away and looked down at the envelope for Dean. He couldn't believe that he had almost tossed the letter in the backseat without a second thought. He raked a hand through his hair and couldn't believe that he had come close to once again putting the fight against Lilith before his brother. Sam turned around and climbed out of the impala and slammed the door. He walked towards the motel room.
He pushed open the door and saw Dean pacing the motel room floor a smile on his face his cell phone pressed to his ear. Sam slammed the door and watched as Dean turned to look at him. Sam saw Dean roll his eyes before flipping his phone closed.
"What?" Dean asked.
"Dean, I found these," Sam said holding out the envelopes, "in Dad's journal. Dean, the girls are going back to their old world," he said softly.
He saw the look on Dean's face. It was utter disbelief. "What? Bambi wouldn't do that."
"I think she is only doing it because Artemis wants to leave."
Sam walked over to Dean and handed him the envelopes. He watched as Dean stared at the one with his name on it. Dean then pulled out the folded paper from Sam envelopes. Sam watched as Dean frowned then cursed and then the shine of tears in his eyes as he shoved the letter back in the envelope and handed it back to Sam.
Sam took the letter and noticed how Dean's hand shook as he shoved his own envelope in the inside pocket of his jacket. He then watched as Dean walked over to his bed and grabbed his bag and began throwing his clothes in it.
"So, you want me to call Bobby?" Sam asked as he walked over and grabbed his bag.
"No. Knowing Lyssa she has probably convinced Bobby to lie for them. No, we are going to drive over there and physically stop them," Dean stopped and looked at Sam, "I know that you wanted to go after this demon but-."
"I know Dean. She's your wife. We need to stop her."
"But not Pyro?"
Sam was silent. He grabbed his bag and walked out of the room. The truth was he did think that Artie and Lyssa would probably be better off in their own world. He wasn't going to say that out loud though. He knew that Dean needed Lyssa and the last thing Sam was going to do was bring up all the horrible things that could happen to her if she stayed. He knew that Dean probably knew exactly what could get Lyssa anyway.
Sam climbed into the impala and slammed the door. He rested his head on the back of the seat and waited for Dean. He had no doubt that this car ride was going to be filled with awkward silence. He really wasn't looking forward to it.
Artie watched as Lyssa laid out the ingredients for the spell on the table. She watched her sister and knew that Lyssa was standing on the edge with one foot already dangling in the air. She was waiting for Lyssa to just let go and fall into the abyss of pain. Artie was slightly worried and began to think that she should begin hiding all the sharp objects that Lys could hurt herself with.
"Okay, so let me get this straight," Lyssa said setting the large black pillar candle on the table, "we need to mix all the herbs with our blood and then roll the candle in it and let it all burn?" she asked looking at Artie then Bobby.
"That's what the spell said," Artie said grabbing the paper bags from all around the table.
"Okay but how are we going to make sure everything sticks to the candle?" Lyssa pressed.
"You melt the sides of the candle slightly and roll it in the ingredients," Bobby said. He saw Lyssa and Artie staring at him, "What? This isn't my first rodeo," he said.
"No, it definitely isn't," Lyssa laughed.
Artie walked over and leaned against the wall. "So are we going to do this right away?" she asked.
"I think-," Lyssa said.
"No," Bobby said, "first I am going to make you two a nice dinner. Then we can do the spell," he stated the sadness evident in his voice.
Artie gave Lyssa a look. She nodded and they both walked over to Bobby and hugged him. Artie closed her eyes and felt tears come to her eyes. She held Bobby tight and then pulled away. She saw that he had tears in his eyes. She glanced at Lyssa and saw that her sister was crying as well. Artie wiped away her tears and smiled at Bobby.
"You don't have to go and make us some fancy meal," she said softly.
"Who said it would be fancy?" Bobby asked, "I said nice, not fancy," he muttered walking away.
Artie saw him wipe a tear away though as he left the room. She took a slow breath to steady her own emotions. She turned and saw Lyssa standing by the window looking out at the back lot. Artie knew that her sister was having serious problems with attempting to deal with leaving. Artie very much doubted that Lyssa had even begun to try to let go of Dean and her life here with him. She walked over to Lyssa and leaned against the counter beside her.
"Sis, do you want to talk about it?" she asked looking at the floor.
Lyssa sighed, "You know, I'm going to miss seeing this back lot. Television just doesn't do this justice. They show all the broken down cars but they don't show that tiny patch of grass right outside the house. Dean always makes sure to park the impala beside it," Lyssa said still staring outside.
"You can still stay, Lys. We haven't done the spell yet. You could stay here," Artie said looking up and looking at Lyssa.
Lyssa shook her head, "You need me, Artie."
"Dean needs you more."
Artie watched as Lyssa finally turned away from the window. Artie saw the dried tears on Lyssa's face. Lyssa looked away and looked at the wall.
"Dean can do this without me, Artemis, you know that. He can handle this life better without me. When I'm gone, he'll finally be able to focus on the job again," Lyssa answered.
"Lyssa-," Artie started.
"No, I'm going with you."
Artie nodded and watched as Lyssa turned and left the room. Artie pulled out one of the chairs and sat on it. She rested her head in her hands. She felt tears still rolling down her cheeks. She wiped them away and turned to glance at the window. She saw could see just out of the corner of the window a tiny bit of that patch of grass Lyssa had been talking about. It wasn't that large to begin with, maybe big enough to fit a picnic table on. She closed her eyes and sighed.
"I'm sorry, Dean," she whispered, "I'm sorry I'm dragging Lyssa back with me when you need her."
She closed her eyes and let herself drift off. She knew there was a chance that she wouldn't get any rest any time soon or when she went back to her old world. She would be too busy watching over Lyssa and trying to make sure that her sister didn't hurt herself. Also drifting gave her a moment to not have to think about everyone she was leaving behind. She wouldn't have to think about how hurt Bobby was or even that Sam could be hurt as well. Sleeping offered her to sweet release she wanted at the moment from all her thoughts and worries.
Dean griped the steering wheel tight in one hand while he sipped coffee from a paper take out cup in the other. He kept his eyes on the road telling himself to keep going; just a few more hours and he'd be at Bobby's. He knew he was lying to himself. They were nowhere close to Bobby's; hell they weren't even half way there. He sighed and drank more of his coffee memories and thoughts running through his mind.
He remembered rolling over and seeing Lyssa in his bed for the first time. He still felt the pull of his heart as his eyes met her round brown doe eyes. There had been something about her eyes even at that very first meeting that had pulled him in. Her eyes had seemed to call to him. He didn't know how to explain it but from that first day he had felt something for Lyssa. It had been something he had never felt before and it had just grown from there. He remembered the moment he knew without a doubt that he loved her. It had been when she had held on tight to him in that motel in Pennsylvania before the shifter hunt. She had held him as he had let go comforting him not caring about her own pain. He still remembered what she had told him that day. I'm not going to throw you away, Dean. You're too important to me. I'm here, Dean. You'll always have me. That last one broke him.
He had to pull over to the side of the road. Images flew through his mind of all the great times Lyssa and him had lived together. Little films began to play back of all the horrible heart breaking pain that they had survived together. He felt a sob rise in his throat. He choked it back down and shoved the door open to the impala. His cup of coffee fell forgotten onto the deserted highway as Dean climbed out of the car. He slammed the door and walked around the front of the car and leaned against the front bumper. You'll always have me. Those words echoed in his head. He began to wonder where he had screwed up. He knew he had to be the reason that Lyssa was leaving. He had done or said something to push her away for good. It was that simple. He ran over every moment he had spent with Lyssa over the past month trying to determine where had screwed up and how he could fix it. He came up with nothing.
He looked up at the stars and realized he had one option left. He sighed and closed his eyes. "Cas, I know you can hear me. Listen, I need your help. Bambi is taking off to go back to her old world. I need your help keeping her here," Dean said. He stopped and waited. He opened his eyes after a minute had passed but no Castiel. "Cas, I wouldn't ask this if I really didn't need your help here. You know what happened to her there. You of all people can't let her go back there to get hurt again." Dean waited but again Cas didn't show up. He cursed, "Thanks, Castiel. Nice to know that you are a dick with wings too."
Dean turned and was shocked to see Sam standing outside of the impala. When he had stopped Sam had been sleeping. Dean looked in his brother's eyes and saw pity in them. Dean looked away and stared at the asphalt of the highway. He waited for Sam to say something; anything Dean didn't care. The silence meant that memories of Lyssa and his life began to creep back into his mind and he couldn't handle that at the moment.
"Dean, do you want me to drive?" Sam asked softly.
Dean nodded, "Yeah, that'd be great, Sammy."
Dean walked the rest of the way around the front of the impala to the passenger's side as Sam walked around to the driver's side. Dean heard the driver's door open and then Sam pause. Dean looked up and met his brother's eyes again. This time Dean saw compassion in Sam's eyes and not pity.
"We'll stop her, Dean. We'll get there and you'll stop Lyssa from going back," he told Dean.
Dean smirked slightly knowing that this was Sam's attempt at trying to make everything okay. "Thanks for the pep talk, Sammy."
Dean saw Sam nod. He climbed into the passenger seat and slammed the door. He rested his head on the back of the seat and closed his eyes. He prayed that Sam was right and that he could stop Lyssa from leaving. He needed her with him. She made him a better man without her he was just the broken shell of who he used to be.
Lyssa sat in the kitchen and stared at the design Bobby was making with the chalk. She then turned and watched Artie toss all the herbs into a bowl. She closed her eyes and sighed.
Dinner with Bobby had been awkward and now doing the spell was even worse. This awkward silence had fallen over the three of them and Lyssa hated it. She did not want to spend the last hours of her time with Bobby in silence. It was bad enough she wasn't with Dean about what was going to happen, she was damned it she going to add Bobby to that short list.
"Bobby, you don't have to help us with this," she said softly opening her eyes and looking at him.
Bobby stopped what he was doing and looked at her. She saw the tears in his eyes, "Yes, I do need to help you with this. I need to do something other than stand here and watch my girls leave," he told her his voice soft but the pain and sadness very audible.
Lyssa nodded. She watched as Artie melted the candle. Lyssa knew it was show time. She walked over to the bowl and picked up the knife. She rolled up her sleeve and looked at her arm. The scars stared back at her. She thought about how now she would be adding another scar to the bunch. This one though would bring her more pain than all the others combined. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She opened her eyes and pressed the knife to the skin of her forearm. She made the long cut and watched as the blood dropped into the bowl.
"No turning back now," she whispered.
She stepped back and watched as Artie stepped up to the bowl and did the same thing as she had. Lyssa then watched as Artie rolled the candle in the bowl. The herbs and blood clung to the candle. She blinked her eyes top stop tears from falling as Artie walked over to the table and placed the candle in the middle of the symbol Bobby had drawn. Lyssa looked up at Bobby.
"Time for your part, Bobby," Artie said. Lyssa wished that she could be like her sister and be completely at peace with leaving. Instead all she could think about were all the moments she and Dean were never going to be able to share together.
"Are you really sure you want to do this?" Bobby asked breaking into her thoughts.
"Yes," Artie answered quickly.
Lyssa pushed all the unmade memories she would never have with Dean aside and forced herself to nod, "Yes."
Bobby nodded. Lyssa watched as he grabbed the book and opened it. Lyssa listened as he began chanting. She took the lighter with Artie and waited for Bobby to nod at them. He did and together they lit the candle. Lyssa watched as the wick burned bright and then black. She let go of the lighter and let her hand drop. She felt the blood flow from the cut down her hand and fell in drops to the floor. She watched as the candle burned and Bobby finished the chant. It was over and done with. The Bennett girls were going home.
A/N: So there is another chapter of Change of Fate. Sorry it took so long but I was drowning in school work. I took a break and finished the chapter and tried to do some editing and spelling check. If there are still mistakes, my bad. Hope you enjoyed it and I will see you in the next one. :D