Stephanie Meyer owns. I do not.
I must thank FamouslySo for her always outstanding Beta work, as well as my guest beta LittleSecret84 for pulling herself out from underneath Chuck Bass long enough to beta this one too! Ladies, you rock my socks off.
See you down below.
I wanted to push her through the brick wall and get her away from me.
I wanted to pull her inside of me and beg her to stay there, force her inside like a Christmas tree shoved into the trunk of a VW Rabbit.
I wanted to kiss her.
I wanted to scream out loud.
I wanted to laugh.
I wanted to cry.
I wanted to keep her.
It was too much. It was too good. It was too easy.
She shook and swallowed deep breaths. Her palms had flattened against the skin of my back, no longer grabbing handfuls of my shirt. Her eyelashes fluttered against the sensitive skin of my neck and her lips pushed into my skin.
I held her as she came back to me.
"Thank you for that," she whispered, "I'm sorry I…"
I cut her off, leaning back to look into those deep eyes.
"If you apologize, it will cheapen it. Don't do that to what I know will become a fond memory." I brushed back a few hairs that were stuck to her forehead and kissed her lips. "It's just me and you sweet girl. Just Mr. and Mrs. Claus. No one else. Nowhere else."
I tried to explain without words what I meant by that, my eyes pleading and my hands giving her the permission and forgiveness she struggled to find. What we did didn't have to be wrong. It didn't have to be a mistake or unforgivable.
I just wanted it to be something nice, something special for her to have. A memory from a better time, place, person.
She nodded and hugged me. This was hard for her and part of me was thankful for it.
I would hate to see that giving up on someone she loved was easy, whether that love be real or imagined. I didn't want it to be something she could do without conscience, without a second thought.
And there were moments that I feared that I would become a second thought.
And those moments kept me anchored to the idea that I only had a week with her. I was only guaranteed six more days before it could all come crashing down around us. Good or bad, I had to give it my all.
I had to give her all of me.
Because you do stupid things and you risk important parts of yourself for some people. You don't think it through to the end, just far enough down the line to encourage you to keep moving forward. You're reckless and careless and hopeful all at the same time.
And she deserved that. She deserved that from someone. She deserved that from me.
"Let's get going," I said into her hair. I stepped away from her and took her hand. She walked on wobbly knees and I laughed under my breath.
"Shut up, Cullen," she barked good-naturedly, swatting my arm with little force.
I opened my mouth to make a smart comment, but she stopped me. She stood in front of me, eyes still glassy and lips curled into a smile.
"Why does it feel so good to be around you?"
I started to respond with something stupid and overtly romantic, but her fingertips found my lips and I could only kiss them and stay silent. It felt natural.
Her head shook softly from side to side. "We need to get out of the alley. We're beginning to look homeless."
Her hand dropped from my lips and wrapped around my bicep. We walked back out among the crowds in the direction of the grocery store a few blocks up.
"I want to play a game," she said, "I ask you a question and you have to answer it. I will, in turn, do the same."
I smiled at her and almost told her we didn't have to play a game. She could just ask me. I would tell her without the guise of playing by the rules. But I just nodded, slipped my sunglasses down onto the bridge of my nose, and waited for her to begin.
"What is your favorite birthday memory?"
"Favorite birthday," I scratched my jaw in consideration, "That would have to be my tenth birthday. My parents took me and six of my friends camping out in Apple River Canyon. We made dinner over the campfire and my dad told lame stories he meant to be scary. My mom kept trying to drown us all in bug spray because Willie Taylor was allergic to mosquitoes." I laughed at the memory. "What's yours?"
"Probably when I turned 12; my mom had the Avon lady come over and she gave me and three of my best friends a makeover. The makeup was hideous, but it was fun. My mom bought me a 'big girl' compact."
My mind flashed to Bella as a girl – soft and round, so awkward and unsure of herself. It made me think of Donucci's, when she seemed broken and sad and meek. It made me feel sick.
The woman with me now was different. She was struggling, but equally empowered.
"Weimaraner name Lucy. She was the first girl I ever loved. And you, first pet?"
"I never had pets as a kid. I had a beta fish in college, but he died. Favorite meal?"
"Sushi, spicy tuna roll to be exact. Favorite fruit?"
"Kiwi. Best Christmas present?"
"Peavey Ecoustic amp. Craziest thing you did in high school?"
She laughed at this one, but answered. "I mooned the School District Superintendant while on the bus back from a football game."
I laughed. "Why the hell did you do that?"
"It was a dare and I didn't know it was her obviously, but I paid dearly for it. She forced me to serve a few days of in-school suspension and after that, I had to serve on the Yearbook Staff to show my school spirit."
"Were you a cheerleader?" I was a little too excited about the prospect of her in a cheerleading uniform.
She scoffed. "No. I was a ball bitch. And before you get too many ideas, it was my job to make sure there were fresh water bottles at the ready and that all of the nasty equipment was wiped down." Her eyes wrinkled in contempt.
"My dad was, or rather is, the police chief back home and he had to attend all of the games to serve as a 'safety officer.' Seeing as he was terribly overprotective, he wouldn't leave me home alone and so he forced me to participate. I'm terribly uncoordinated and would have never made the cheer squad so ball bitch was the best I could do."
She laughed to herself and waved her hand dismissively, "What is the craziest thing you ever did?"
"Well, I flew halfway across the country for a girl I didn't even know." I looked at her and she pinked up with a blush, the apples of her cheeks burning with emotion. "It was the craziest thing I've ever done, but it is also turning out to be one of the best things too."
I reached over and cupped her cheek, feeling the warmth on my palm. I dipped down and gently brushed my lips over the skin that seemed the reddest.
"Bella, you're too good to be true."
"The kiwi looks delicious," I commented from my spot in front of a large display of produce. Bella was a few steps away, not so covertly eating cherries right out of the flat, a bright red basket hanging from the crook of her arm.
"Throw 'em in the basket," she smiled and spit the cherry pit into her hand, looking around sheepishly before slipping it into her pocket. I couldn't help but laugh as she placed a carton of Rainier cherries in the basket.
I turned back and bagged a few kiwis before walking over to her. I dropped them into her basket while she looked at me guiltily. I crooked my head in question and looked at her feet. Three apples had fallen from the pyramid of apples she now hovered over. Her hands held up a few apples that threatened to fall. I bent down, gathered them up and wiped them off with the hem of my shirt then righted the few apples that she kept from falling to the ground.
"All better, sweet girl," I leaned over and kissed her on her full lips. She responded to me instantly and I reeled at the sensation. With her it had been hesitant and slow going, but now… now she answered each of my gestures with vigor and heat and want.
Her body wanted me, that was without question, but her mind still faltered.
I still struggled to wrap my head around what we had done in the alley. Her sounds. Her touch. Her breath on my skin. They all called out to me. They begged me. It was as if her body was pleading with me for something and all signs pointed to release. A release I was happy to offer. No strings attached.
No reciprocation necessary.
I had bargained with myself on the flight over. I had banked on the fact that she would be as skittish and as inflexible as she was in Seattle, but she wasn't. She wasn't backing away after each encounter. In fact, she was moving forward. In her subtle ways, she was opening up to me.
I tried to stay light. I tried to be friendly and unassuming. I didn't want to be aggressive, but she was asking me to. Her whimpers in my ear and her tentative touches and plaintive glances all told me she needed me. She needed me to take the lead without stepping on her toes.
So I did. I made up a story about us. It was crazy and, in all honestly, it was something I'd seen on television once in college. But it didn't stop old memories from seeping into our fantasy. Her face would fall and her eyes would cloud with guilt and unhappiness. I played the part and acted dumb when she'd slip up and talk about him. She would play it off smoothly and smile her easy smile and we'd move on.
I wanted to give her all of the things she'd been denied because I felt compelled to, inexplicably compelled to be all that she would ever need.
It was beginning to scare me.
If she told me to jump, I couldn't promise that the words 'how high?' wouldn't come out of my mouth.
But the most beautiful part of it was that she had no idea of the effect she had on me.
When I had her pressed against the gritty brick wall all I could think about was how much I wanted her to feel something between us. I felt her hand slip down between us and her eyes looked to mine in search of permission, but I didn't want her to think this was something she was getting in return for something else.
It wasn't. I was doing what I was doing because I couldn't stop myself. I couldn't deny her. I couldn't deny me. It was selfish of me. I wanted my hands on her skin and so much more. I wanted what I couldn't have. At least not now. Or so I hoped.
"You going to get my ketchup?" I asked her, stopping our kiss while I still had a meager amount of self control. Her head fell back to my shoulder and she chuckled.
"Are you going to stop breaking off all of our kisses with crazy questions?"
After a long stroll through the grocery store, we finally emerged and made it back to the apartment. We stood in the kitchen putting stuff away, laughing at each other and just enjoying being near one another.
"Do you realize it took you two hours to buy thirty-four dollars worth of groceries?"
"Do you realize that you complained for an hour and a half of that time?" She shoved cans of tomato soup into the pantry and flitted around the smallish kitchen.
I laughed. "I guess I didn't realize that."
"Why did you want all of this stuff anyway? There's enough protein here to feed a small army of Atkins Dieters." She held up a baggie of shaved deli meat in one hand and sliced Swiss cheese in the other. Her features expressed suspicion.
"Well, since you are going to ruin the surprise anyway by playing your favorite game of 2,000 questions, I'm taking you on a picnic tomorrow." I walked over and took the sandwich stuff from her and put them in the fridge.
"Where are we going?" Her brown eyes were excited and her cheeks began to redden. The flush immediately propelled my thoughts back to our back alley antics. I breathed out a sigh, but it sounded much more like a groan.
"Ok, ok," she gruffed, "Don't tell me."
I chuckled as she tried to pout and shuffle things around on the kitchen counter. It looked like she was getting things together for dinner. I said a silent prayer that she was at least a half decent cook; because Lord knows I couldn't prepare anything outside of a sandwiches and a pan of brownies. Both of which I planned to woo her with the following day.
"You won't be disappointed and you won't need to worry about dressing up," I revealed.
"That really tells me a lot," she pouted. Her pink lips were slick and my chest filled up with air that I couldn't seem to force out. It was painful and distracting. I pushed the feeling back.
"Bella, there's no need to pout. I'm not going to tell you anything more than that. No matter how much you flaunt your feminine wiles before me." I stepped closer to her and my hand reached out and caught her elbow, spinning her to look at me.
Her brown eyes were round and yet slightly creased with contempt. I rubbed my thumbs across the corners and smoothed out the lines. Her ruby lips fell open to form a small circle. I caught a glimpse of her tongue and it felt like the blood left my extremities and flooded my groin. My hands tingled and my feet felt like they were made of lead.
It was then that I knew the tables had turned. In this moment, I was no longer self assured. I no longer felt like I could smile and be charming and melt her to my will.
No, I was the one being melted.
I was the one quaking under her touch.
She was mesmerizing me and I couldn't will my eyes away. I didn't want or need to. They were burned onto the back of my eyelids. I would close my eyes and only see hers.
Her small hand slid up my arm to the scruff of my neck and a whimper escaped my lips. I felt ragged and raw. I was embarrassed, but I couldn't figure out why.
It was most likely because I was no longer in control of myself and I knew my instincts would drive me deep inside of her. I could not be held accountable for my actions while under the influence of her.
Fuck, don't think about being deep inside of her.
She pulled me down to her and kissed both corners of my mouth before touching her lips against mine. Her kisses were sweet and chaste, but soon turned into more. Our tongues touched and slid against one another. Sighs fell onto warm lips and nipping teeth. Her hands wound themselves into my hair and pulled my face tighter against hers.
My cock swelled and strained against the soft cotton of my boxers. I had never felt anything as fucking amazing as the feel of her tiny fingers tangling themselves in my hair. Female hands had run through my hair on many an occasion, but her hands were different. Or maybe it was all just in my head.
I wanted desperately for her to wrap her hands around me in a completely different way. More specifically, I wanted one of her hands in my hair and the other jerking me into oblivion.
Fuck, don't think about her hands.
Our lips worked succinctly, opening and closing in time and with equal fervor. I tried to focus on the feeling of her lips and the ferocity of her tongue. Anything other than my swollen erection that was sure to out my desire to fuck her up against the refrigerator.
I opened my eyes, thinking that maybe if I didn't allow myself the fantasy playing in my mind, I'd be able to stop myself from ripping off her jeans and plowing her. Instead, with my eyes open, I could plainly see the determined crease in her brow and flushed pink cheeks.
"Bella," I moaned, "Something is about to start and I'm–"
"What do you mean about to start?" A hand slipped from my hair and traveled down my chest and stomach, making my skin crawl and catch fire all at the same time. "I'd say something started a while ago," she simpered into my ear before catching my earlobe between her lips.
Her fingertips hovered over the button on my jeans and I had the overwhelming urge to bend her over the counter and fuck her wildly. I made some pervy noise as she ran her fingertips across the waistline of my pants. She was going to kill me. Her lips crashed back into mine and I nearly lost consciousness when her hand popped the button on my jeans.
She wasn't coy. She wasn't rough. She didn't act nervous or let on to the fact that she was near seconds from fondling me. For fuck's sake, I hope that's her plan. She played it cool and I thought I was going to throw up from the sensation of her hand inches away from my cock.
My hands gripped the countertop for support because it was either that or I was surely going to grab a boob in a less than romantic gesture.
"Edward," she whispered against my lips, "You don't mind do you?"
I started to ask her what she meant when her palm made full contact with my cock.
I almost fucking busted a nut right then and there. Angels started singing, crime stopped, babies were born and Donald Trump's Rogaine finally started to work.
Fuck, don't think about Donald Trump.
My eyes popped open and my head dipped back, breaking our kiss. She smiled back and I felt her hand tighten and take a more substantial grip around me.
"Ugh," I muttered, "Mind… I don't mind. Feel free."
Feel free? What the hell, Cullen?
"Ok then, I will." Bella licked her lips and I closed my eyes, waiting for her to grace me with more of her kisses. "Take off your shirt," she whispered, hot and breathy into my ear. I felt goose bumps race down my neck and arm.
I barely restrained myself from requesting that she too remove her shirt, but obliged without question and peeled my shirt off of my back. Her free hand ran across my chest and was soon joined by her lips. She made wet, juicy kisses over my nipples and collarbone, all the while continuing with her little game in my pants.
"I love a man with a little chest hair," she smiled and ran her fingers through the sparse dusting of hair in the middle of my chest. Without warning her hand slipped from my pants and I swear I had to hold back tears from welling up in my eyes.
I gave a weak whimper and both of her hands came to rest on my shoulders. She gave me another kiss on the lips and tweaked my nipple lightly. "Don't complain," she chuckled, "I'm not done yet."
More senseless sounds fell from my lips and I just closed my eyes and loosened my grip on the counter. I felt her hands explore my chest and all of the exposed skin. Her lips made a trail down my chest and I felt her get lower and lower.
My cock was in hysterics by the time I felt the silky soft flutter of her hair against the skin of my lower abdomen. Was she really about to do what I really hoped she was?
"Is there anything I should know about your sexual history? Any…" she cleared her throat, nervousness peaking in, "…conditions?"
I swallowed thickly. "No, I'm clean."
I couldn't play Mr. Nice Celibate Guy any longer, if she didn't have her lips or hand or something on me in a short period of time, I might just fucking jizz in my pants.
She kissed around my belly button and I squirmed in response. Her fingers threaded through my belt loops and she tugged my pants down my legs. Bella ran her nose along the lines of my stomach and her hot breath made my cock twitch in response.
There were more angels singing and birds chirping. I could see the pearly gates of Heaven before me.
Fingernails and smooth palms somehow manifested into a cold shock of air encapsulating the massive wood that I was sporting. I looked down at Bella, eyes hooded and lips slick and smiling. She peered up at me deviously before dropping down to her knees. She was eyelevel with my completely exposed dick and she was shamelessly staring.
"Well Mr. Cullen, I'd say you've been holding out on me. Who knew that your best feature wasn't your crooked smile or sex hair?" She put a finger to her lip in mock consideration and dipped it into the corner of her mouth. She was the fucking hottest thing ever with her under-the-radar sexual prowess.
"Bella," I choked out, "I… It…We don't –"
"If you apologize, it will cheapen it. Don't do that to what I know will become a fond memory." My words came back at me and the full force of what she was saying wasn't lost. I smiled slowly and ran a lazy hand through my 'sex hair.'
I felt the need to say something back to her, but the only things I could come up with were highly inappropriate.
Well then, by all means proceed.
Bella, please suck my dick.
Do you spit or swallow?
I just kept my lips pressed tightly together and my hands braced me for what was coming next.
Hopefully I will be coming next.
Bella's hot little palms came to rest on my bare thighs and her warm breath ghosted over the thin skin of my cock. Her nose came back and nuzzled the muscle that ran across my hip and I almost thrust into her.
A hand came up and gripped the base of my shaft, her fingers fitting around it with grace and deft ability. She slowly slid her hand up and down, taking a moment to give extra attention to the head. My stomach tightened and I stared down my body at the chocolate and ivory that knelt at my feet.
I could see down the front of her sweater and her breasts taunted me mercilessly. I had to look elsewhere or this would be over in a matter of seconds. I looked out the window at the skyline that appeared over the rooftop of the building alongside ours. There were a few stars in the hazy twilight and I made a point to thank each and every one of them for granting me this moment.
"Oh Bella," I sighed. She increased in speed at the sound of my words, her lips still kissing the over sensitive skin of my lower stomach.
My hips tilted slightly with each tug of her fingers and without warning, her lips wrapped around the head of my cock. She sucked lightly and I cried out at the sensation. She took me in as far as she was able and bobbed her head up and down. All I could feel was the perfect suction of her mouth mixed with wet tongue and the ideal amount of teeth scraping with each upstroke.
She moaned over me and the hot vibration sent me blindly into the direction of release. Her tongue was everywhere and her other hand made pressure where her mouth could not. I wouldn't last long with her taking me like this.
I ran a hand gently through her loose brown hair. I didn't try to guide her because it was more than obvious that she knew exactly how to make me come. I simply rested my hand on her head and basked in the sensation of her hot mouth.
"Bella," I panted, feeling my orgasm approaching, "Your mouth…fuck… your lips—" My thoughts were disjointed and the words fell from my mouth without hesitation. The pressure of her hand and the constant sucking and swirling of her mouth had me at the cusp of release. I barely opened my eyes to see hers looking back at me, dark with lust.
The sight of my cock moving in and out of her perfect mouth had me undone.
"Bella, I'm going to…" I couldn't complete my thought so I attempted to bring her mouth away from me.
She whimpered over me with a sound of disagreement. Her pressure increased and her free hand came up and took the hand that I had placed on the back of her head. She intertwined our fingers and ended my attempt to move her.
I bit my lip and felt my cock twitch inside of her. I groaned and shook as she kept bobbing over me, her movements helping me ride out the high. My hand clenched tightly around hers as my body let go of the delicious tension my orgasm created.
Her name dripped from my lips and a wide smile wrote itself over my face. I wanted to be self conscious over how long the whole ordeal took, or rather didn't take. I wanted to over analyze everything I said and thought and did or didn't do, but rather than ruin the moment, I extended a hand to Bella and helped her to her feet.
I pulled her to me and wrapped my arms around her. I enjoyed the feeling of her face pressed against my chest. I dropped kisses on the crown of her head and tilted her chin upwards to kiss her lips.
"That was amazing," I whispered.
She chuckled. "Well, I do have skills," I felt her arms tighten around my waist, "God, I sound like a whore."
I laughed out loud. "Hey, don't talk about my girlfriend like that."
Bella was brushing her teeth and getting ready for bed.
I was in the bedroom texting my dad to see if I could borrow my old car for the next day. I wanted everything to go well on our little trip. I'd already set the alarm on my phone to go off at 7am so I could get up and get everything packed.
I could hear her bumping around in the bathroom, rinsing her mouth and tapping her toothbrush on the sink. I slipped off my pants and sat down on the bed, fluffing the pillow beside me.
She padded into the bedroom and dropped her dirty clothes into the hamper. She looked up at me and rolled her eyes.
"A bit presumptuous aren't we," she gestured towards the bed, "Just because I performed a little fellatio doesn't mean I'm sharing the sheets with you."
She sat down on the other side of the bed and just sort of stared at me, all beautiful and distracting and confusing. My mouth opened and closed as I tried to find words.
"Close your mouth," she tipped my chin and closed my mouth, "I was just kidding. I'd be happy to sleep with you." She smirked and pulled the fluffy comforter up as she shoved her legs underneath, wiggling to get comfortable. I followed suit and ducked under the covers.
"I promise to be a perfect gentleman."
"Oh, I know you will," she turned onto her side facing me, "You can't handle this yet."
She sat up a bit and leaned over me, tits directly in my face, so that she could turn off the lamp on the bedside table. I wanted to bury my face in her cleavage and go on a little trip in the motorboat.
"You are so right," I managed to reply.
Darkness cloaked the room and Bella wiggled a little more to get comfortable. I rolled on my side behind her and my hand hovered in the air trying to decide whether or not to pull her into me and spoon with her.
Bella must have felt my indecision and took the lead, shoving her ass directly into my swiftly hardening dick.
"Perfect gentleman, my ass," she scoffed as she felt my erection, wriggling against me mercilessly.
"Well, that is just embarrassing," I croaked, slipping a hand underneath her tee shirt and laying a flat palm against the smooth skin of her stomach. "I guess I'm not to be trusted."
"Like that's news to me."
"Goodnight Bella," I whispered into her ear. I felt a shiver run through her and I kissed her jawbone.
"Goodnight Edward and sweet dreams," she replied and just ground her ass into me a little harder.
I hoped my dreams were sweet and not wet.
Ok. First and foremost, let me welcome all of my new readers. *Waves* Your response has been overwhelming! I went from 0 to 60 in like 1 second. And it is AWESOME:D
I've got to thank WriteOnTime, Mens_Rea_01, LittleSecret84, and anyone else who tweeted/recc'd my fic. Americnxidiot totally pimped me out on The Lazy, Yet Discerning Ficster with her all too generous recommendation. Ladies, I owe you my first born...
Which brings me to my excuse as to why the hell it took me a month to write this one... Well dear readers, I'm pregnant. Yep. Knocked up. And let me tell you, morning (more like all day) sickness is a bitch. It keeps me hovering in that cold, dark place between the bathtub and the toilet. Therefore, I am at a disadvantage when I am touched by my muse, I can't find it within myself to bring my laptop with me while I pay homage to the porcelain gods. BUT, people keep telling me it is going to get better and I'm going to feel more like myself. That means more frequent updates.
YAY for you!
Thank you again for your generous outpouring of review love. I am trying my best to review each and every one, but it's tough. I went from maybe 10 reviews a chapter to 50 and it's tough to come up with a new witty thing to say. I just don't want y'all to see how lame I really am. But I'm trying hard to reply.
That being said, you may now commence the reviewing.
Love and fast updates! Maggie