Dedicated to my dear friend Lola ;) You're the best girl!
Thank you thank you thank you Charming Gilmore Girl for being my BETA reader in this fic and answering in such a short time. :)
Disclaimer: Characters, not mine. Plot, mine. Song, not mine. Idea, mine.
I had no choice but to hear you
You stated your case time and again
I thought about it
You treat me like I'm a princess
I'm not used to liking that
You ask how my day was
You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault
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All that stupid speech over and over again. I don't understand it. Well... I do... sort of... at some very deep level... that I haven't even found yet. But I know it's somewhere inside me. I hope... 'cause if not I'm totally going insane here.
How could he? How CAN he? Does he really believe what he said? For his own good I hope not. I might be the youngest but I'm not a baby. I hate him! I hate his lame excuses, his bloody guilt and damn hero complex.
Like I wasn't in danger before! Come on! I've been in danger since he asked Mum to help him out at King's Cross almost six years ago. I've been in danger for years now and I've never bloody cared. Things have changed. I'm not "Ron's baby sister" anymore; I thought we made that clear after all that snogging. But no... oh no! "You can't come Ginny; I want you to be safe." Bullshit! And he knows it! Git...
All my life has been the same. Poor little Ginny, the baby girl, the one we all have to protect from everything. I've grown up with six brothers... of course I can handle myself. I HAD to. I was there with them at the Ministry that night. Has he forgotten about that? I also fought at Hogwarts with Death Eaters two months ago. Has he forgotten about THAT? I took risks these last few years and I think I showed everyone that I can stand up for myself and survive perfectly well.
Protect me. Arghh! Potect me from what? Voldemort? I've already been possesed by him when I was 11 years old, doesn't he think I'm capable of fighting by his side against Voldy now at 16? Well, almost sixteen... but that's a detail.
I know he has been through a lot more things that I have, and that it's always been Ron and Hermione who were at his side, but now I'm in that picture too. He has to deal with that. He has to realise that I'm going to fight too, that I want to go with him and take care of him- What? Take care of him? No Ginny! You want to go because you have to fight this war for the whole humanity's sake... Oh who am I kidding? I want to go for him. So I can be with him, so I can help him, so I can take care of him. He needs me.
Who's going to keep his mind focused in the task? Help him with his guilt and with his troubled mind? I love him. I can't help it. I want to be by his side while he fights Voldemort...
See? This is all his bloody fault! I want to put myself in danger because of him. That's stupid, totally irrational... If that's what love's about, it really doesn't make sense. Well... it does... I think... sort of...
Ok. I can't deal with this anymore. At least not tonight. It'll have to wait until tomorrow, just like it has been waiting for the last two months since the funeral... I hate my life. I hate him above all. All right! I'm going to stop kidding myself, I'm totally in love with him. But it's all his fault. Stupid, ungrateful, stuborn, wonderful, handsome, funny, sensitive, lovely, cute, kind, adorable Harry... OK this has to stop NOW. Tomorrow'll be another day with the same old internal fight I suppose.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
With a frustrated sigh Ginny closed the notebook and threw the quill carelessly to a corner of the desk. She got up to close the curtains and went to bed.
She was lying with her brown eyes fixed on the shadows, the moonlight reflected on her roof when, with another sigh, she started looking for his picture under her pillow. It was a photograph Colin took of the two of them one afternoon by the lake without them knowing. They look so happy in that photo. So... peaceful, in each others arms, eyes closed, just enjoying being with the other. A tear slipped from her eye.
- I love you Harry, for all that you are, in spite of everything– she whispered before putting the picture away and closing her eyes trying to get some sleep.
A/N: Well, obviously it's situated during the summer before DH. Ginny's dealing with her thoughts about everything that happened at Dumbledore's funeral. Not easy I think, LOL. What a totally frustrating debate in her mind that must have been. Hope you liked it! Please review, let me know what you think. =)
Next chapter (Hannah/Neville) would be updated probably on monday.