A/N: Like many authors of our time, I wrote this in school. –snerk- Yeah, I know, I should pay more attention in Algebra II, but I understand binomials enough to be able to multitask and write some Kudley whilst factoring. My train of thought: "binomials. So… it's like bisexual, then. Huh. Thirteen's bi. Ha, thirteen's a number. Hm. I should write some Kudley." I don't know why I'm like this. I just am.

Long live the Kudley army!

Summary: Kutner gets relationship advice from the most unlikely source of all. Kudley fluff.

Disclaimer: Clearly, since I'm writing a Kudley fic, not a Foreteen one, I'm not the owner or the writer of House. David Shore owns it.


"Kutner," Cuddy stuck her curly head in House's office; the head of diagnostics was off somewhere harassing Wilson, and his four fellows were lounging about, reading or doodling as they waited for him to return. The Indian doctor looked up from his random mess of lightning bolts and swirly things. "Yeah?"

"Dana Martin's in the clinic for her monthly shot. Can you just run down?"

"Oh, yeah, sure." He pushed himself up out of his chair, crumbling up the doodles and tossing them in the trash.

"Dana Martin?" Foreman asked, looking up from one the charts he was reading.

"Before you came back," Taub explained. "A clinic patient has to come every month for a shot, and Kutner's the only one she'll talk to, let alone let give her a shot. She's six, I think."

"I'm good with kids," Kutner shrugged.

"Plus, you're preferable to House when it comes to clinic duty," Thirteen added, glancing up at him. Kutner tossed her a look before heading down after Cuddy towards the clinic.

When he got there (after having inquired one of the nurses as to which way he should go), he opened the door and was greeted with someone jumping up and hugging him with a cry of delight.

"Dr. Kutner!"

"Hey, Dana, what's up?" He picked her up from under her armpits and gave her a bear hug before setting her down on the paper-covered table, looking her up and down. "You look like you've been taking your medicine. Have you?"

"Yup! Every morning."

"Well, that's good." He rummaged through one of the drawers until he found a syringe. "Alright, are you ready for your shot?"

She gave him a double thumbs up.

"Okay," he said, smiling at her; not the doctor smile, but a genuine smile. He'd always liked Dana, she was a good patient, and she was always happy to come to the hospital to see him—not something that happened often.

"So, do you like the first grade, or is your teacher stupid?" he asked conversationally, and she giggled. "No, I like it, but there's a boy who has a crush on me." She stuck out her tongue.

"Is that a bad thing?" He filled up the syringe carefully and inspected it to make sure he had the proper dose.

"No, but he won't tell me. His friend told me."

"Oh, so he's a chicken?"

"Yup." She watched as he rolled up the sleeve of her T-shirt and wiped at the skin with a small cotton ball soaked in antiseptic.

"Do you like someone?" Dana said suddenly, her voice full of innocence. Kutner smiled as he flicked the syringe with the tip of his finger, removing any air bubbles. "I might," he answered. "This is going to pinch, get ready." Used to it by now, Dana just held out her arm and looked away as Kutner carefully inserted the needle into her arm and pushed down on the plunger.

"Who is she?"

"I'm not telling," he said in that teasing voice reserved only for children, removing the needle and wiping away the little droplet of blood. Had someone like Taub asked, there probably would've been some form of contempt leaking in his voice, but it was actually kind of cute to see this little kid ask her doctor about his love life.

"Is she pretty?"

"She's very pretty."

"Is she prettier than me?"

He felt like laughing. "No, Dana, no one is prettier than you. Garfield or Snoopy?"

She pursed her lips. "Snoopy. What does she look like?" she asked, as though she didn't believe him.

"She has brown hair, like yours, but it's a lot longer. And green eyes."

"She has green eyes?"


"Like grass?"

"Mm, sort of. Have you ever been to the shore?" He pulled the paper off the bandage and gingerly placed it against the little puncture.


"Well, picture the water when it's filled with seaweed. That greenish blue color. Then add the sparkles from the sun. That's the color of her eyes."

"Wow…" Dana watched him writing down the necessary information on her card, before she asked him yet another question. "Does she know you like her?"

"You are certainly full of questions today," he answered, wiggling his eyebrows, and she giggled at the comedic effect. He chuckled to himself as he placed the file back in the folder and held out his hand to help her down. She took it and hopped down, her shoes clopping. "But you didn't answer my question," she said, squeezing his hand as they made their way out the clinic door and into the waiting room towards the nurses station.

He shrugged. "No, she doesn't know."

"You should tell her," Dana said, her little voice reprimanding. "Girls don't like it when boys don't tell them they like them."

He smiled. "It's not that easy when you're a grown-up."

"It should be," she pouted, "you look happy when you talk about her."

"I am." They'd reached the nurses station, and Mrs. Martin turned around from the woman she had been talking to. "Are we all done?" she asked pleasantly, and Kutner nodded. "Yes, ma'am. Next month, just like always."

"Thank you," was the response, and she motioned for Dana to walk over. As the little girl did so, Thirteen walked by with a stack of folders in her hands. When she noticed Kutner, her eyebrows rose in recognition. "Hey, Kutner, you all done? House has been hounding us about you giving the shot."

"Yeah, I'm done," he answered absently, writing down one last note on the card before looking up and grinning at his fellow doctor.

Dana was also staring at Thirteen, her eyes wide. She then ran over and tugged on Kutner's lab coat, trying to get his attention. He leaned down, balancing on the balls of his feet as she cupped her little hand around his ear, as one would do when telling a secret.

"You're right," Dana whispered in awe. "She is pretty."

Kutner felt a blush creeping up his neck as he straightened back up and caught Thirteen staring at him, eyebrows raised in curiosity. Dana waved at the two doctors as her mother took her by the hand and, thanking Kutner once more, lead her daughter out of the hospital.

"What was that about?" Thirteen asked interestedly as Kutner placed the file in the nurses' folder rack. Kutner shrugged a shoulder nonchalantly. "It was nothing." He cleared his throat.

You should tell her! Girls don't like it when boys don't tell them they like them.

"Oh. Okay." Thirteen shrugged, but she looked slightly disappointed as she pulled out another folder. As she turned to walk away, he decided, ah, what the hell.

"Hey, uh, Thirteen?"

She turned around, and he smiled awkwardly. "Would you like to go out for a drink tonight?"

The smile he received was one of absolute delight, though as usual she made it seem casual. She walked back up to him and cupped her hand around his ear, just as Dana had, whispering in his ear.

"I thought you'd never ask."


A/N: Dawww. How I love fluff. Remember that, though? When we were like, six, we'd be like, "I have a crush on so and so!" I hate most of those people nowadays. Heh.

Reviews are full of love.