Disclaimer: We don't own it.
I was sitting watching the news, waiting for permission from Charlie to see Bella. Apparently she was still recovering from yesterday's meltdown with her new boyfriends, Ben and Jerry. I knew I had picked a keeper.
Flipping through the channels, I skipped past Oprah, some show mocking Martha Stewart, and Cheaters. I finally settled on the local news.
"Thank you Karen," the reporter announced. "I'm coming to you live from Forks High School, home of the Spartans and the newest YouTube sensation.
"Edward Cullen, a young man from Forks, Washington stars in several videos through the channel, Edwina Central."
My jaw dropped. The reporter continued, gesturing to the school behind him.
"The channel is run by someone by the screen name of BigEm35, possibly one of Edward's schoolmates. The videos feature Edward cross dressing under the name of Edwina, and confusing a young curious man by the name of Mike as they meet various times.
"The series of videos ends sadly with Mike being taken away in an ambulance and a social worker accusing his parents of abuse. Is this the beginning of dangerous pranks, or is it the work of two genius teenagers bored with small town life? Stay tuned after the break for…"
I quickly ran over to the computer tuning out the reporter's voice.
There it was.
On the front page of YouTube, were several videos each with their own witty title and caption. They also had view numbers like 35,563,902, and 19,393,193.
Wait…. these videos have been posted for a few weeks…..
Emmett was dead meat.
* * *
"It's okay Mr. Sparkles, Edward is fine. He was probably just under the influence of Jasper… yes… that it…" I sat in the fetal position in the middle of my bed, holding my stuffed unicorn.
I was still confused from yesterday's little… incident. And none of the Cullens had come over to explain anything. I was being left in the dark, with Mr. Sparkles as my only guide through the terrible darkness.
* * *
"Damn it!" I cursed. I wasn't allowed over at Bella's yet, and Emmett wasn't answering his phone. Dang, he was smart.
I had tried calling Rosalie but I got her voicemail. Neither of them was answering and I was pretty darn suspicious…
Trying to sort out my problems, I walked outside into the cold frigid air. The orange and red leaves swirled around me as a gust of wind followed the river. I watched as a small squirrel threw acorns and such at another squirrel on the ground. This game of theirs continued for several minutes.
I was particularly thirsty, not that there was enough blood in those little creatures, but they did give me an idea.
* * *
I was still slightly confused as to why Emmett and I had taken a spur of the moment vacation. Either way, I didn't care. Anything was better than the mediocre life we had in Forks. Mexico was awfully sunny, but it was a private beach…
Revenge was sweet. It almost reminded me of deer blood… or Bella. Whichever it was, I enjoyed it far more than necessary. My revenge you ask? A wicked video response to Emmett's Edwina Channel.
My own channel was set as a response, but I only had one video. One simple pretty video. But it was the best. The very best.
I had been taking pictures of Emmett's weekly tea parties, ever since he drove my Volvo without permission. It had been Alice's idea, her stating that it was for future blackmail. Now here I was, using the photos for a different, but equally important reason.
Emmett's tea parties were supposed to be "private" and normally they were taken to when he had the house to himself, but as sneaky as he was, he wasn't one the check on that detail.
I had acquired pictures of him hugging care bears, drinking tea of a children's ceramic tea cup (complete with a matching kettle, saucers, and cream and sugar bowls), talking to various dolls of various sizes and materials, pretending to eat a dish of plastic scones, and my personal favorite was of him wearing a ridiculous pink hat. Classic.
The pictures had been taken from afar, either using the zoom setting, or sitting in one of the neighboring trees. Emmett was pretty much oblivious.
Precious as the evidence was, I carefully arranged the pictures into a pink powerpoint, save best for last of course. The pink hat photo in this case. I was using my new software, recently received for Christmas from the devil himself. If only he knew of it's current use…
As I finished my beautiful masterpiece, I titled it "The Creator of Edwina Central" and added some sparkled and pink crap. Along with some silly kid's song about elephants and grasshoppers playing in the background, my revenge was almost complete.
The final step, I posted the video around noon. I was in the middle of my victory dance when the doorbell interrupted me. Hmm… I hadn't even noticed the human scent. Yet there were no thoughts present. Bella, I thought.
"Hey there" she exclaimed as I opened the door. "I missed you."
"As did I you." I was quite happy that her little meltdown had ended in time for her to bathe in my victory as well.
I led her into the living room (funny name isn't it to a bunch of vampires?) and told her of my payback, and the events that had occurred during the past few days. By then end of my little spiel she was starting to freak me out with the smile on her face that seemed to be growing an inch each minute.
"I love your plan," she said after I had finished. "Alice always knows what's coming next, you know."
"That she does. She has awfully good ideas— well most of the time that is."
"Did you know she was the one who conspired against you last week in the Great Mayonnaise Incident?
"That was her?" I asked, a look of shock spreading across my face.
She just grinned. "Yep."
I sat in the hotel room while Rosie was outside "tanning". How in the world does a vampire tan?
Refocusing my attention to the tv in front of me, I turned to the news, trying to test my expansive knowledge of the Spanish language. I was only able to catch the words "casa" and "Forks". The latter of which happened to be in English. Damn. Major fail for the Emmster.
But then the reporter starting showing screenshots of my youtube channel! omg! I was on the news!! I didn't care that it was foreign reports, I just started shouting loudly, celebrated my celebrity, knowing that Rose could hear me from outside. I heard her snort.
But my excitement soon dissipated as I saw pictures of my special me time flash across the screen. How did someone get those photos? I must've been too occupied with Sally the doll and Funshine Bear. Darn Edward for being sneaky.
"Rosie!" I called out. "We're going home!" And I ran to the armoire, immediately packing my dolls and care bears.
A/N: Sooooo… it's Dahlia here and she's awfully sorry for the five month long wait. It's entirely her fault, but unfortunately she doesn't have an excuse. She was threatened into writing this.
Either way, hope you enjoyed the latest from MESIT, and remember to review!
p.s. we don't own Youtube, Care Bears, or anything else familiar to the public eye used in the chapter.