Clark finds himself back on the Dating Game but this time he is alone. No audience. No Bachelorette 1, 2 or 3. Just him.
"So you finally picked Number 2 did you?" The voice of the announcer asks him. It's strange. The voice sounds more familiar now. Like he has heard it before.
"Yes I did," Clark answers back.
"Have a nice dinner?" the voice asks sounding more familiar all the time.
"Yes we did," Clark answers. Nice because he had been having it with Diana. He should have worked out that she was the one for him. There were few other people he could do something with as simple as having dinner and that would make it so special. In fact maybe it was only Diana that could do that.
"Glad to here it blue boy!"
Clark spins round and floating there at his eye level is, what would seem to an outside observer, a tiny man in a purple suit wearing a derby hat. "Mr Mxyzptlk?"
"Well it ain't the tooth fairy," the imp from the fifth dimension says.
"The dream, the voice I kept hearing, it was all you," Clark realises.
Mr Mxyzptlk blows on his finger nails. "I don't like to boast but basically yeah it was all me."
Clark didn't get this at all. Mr Mxyzptlk's sole purpose in life, so it seemed to Clark, was to make his life hell by playing these never ending practical jokes on him until Clark banishes him back to the fifth dimension by tricking him into saying or spelling his name backwards. The events that had happened lately just weren't his style. "Why?" Clark asks simply.
"I figured I owed you one."
"Me? For what?"
"For helping me get back together with the missus."
Oh Clark remembered that. Mr Mxyzptlk and his wife Gsptlsnz had split and she had decided to get over her husband by hitting on Superman. God what a week that was. It is very hard to fend off the advances of an all powerful being from the fifth dimension when she can look like any woman you can imagine and do literally anything. In the end Clark's only hope to be rid of her was to get her and Mr Mxyzptlk back together which he somehow did though it was not easy.
"But the dream, the voice. How did that help me?"
Mr Mxyzptlk conjures up a chair and sits himself down while still floating in the air. "Well you see Supes it goes like this. I saw Lois' little break up dinner with you and decided you needed some romantic advice so that night while you were asleep I entered your head and rooted around a bit. By the way you seriously need to spring clean up there sometime. Anyway like I was saying I rooted around to examine your feelings as it pertains to Lois and discovered the other 2 loves of your life. My rooting around manifested itself as the dream you had. So I was looking around and found out that deep down you always knew which one you loved. You had just let yourself get distracted by some foolish notion of unworthiness as it pertained to her. Not very bright are ya?"
"Can we get past the insulting me part?"
"But that's the best part," Mr Mxyzptlk points out. Clark rolls his eyes and groans.
"Alright, aright. Keep your shirt on. Sheesh. Seriously Supes. Learn to lighten up. Anyway as I was saying I saw that you had become distracted so I decided to give you a nudge in the right direction."
Clark's face puzzles up in confusion.
"The sudden urge to kiss Lana in the barn for example."
"That was you?"
Mr Mxyzptlk grins triumphantly. "You bet. I realised you needed to date her to see how hideously dull she is. Even you found her dull and considering how dull you are that is saying something."
Clark shakes his head. Why is standing here being insulted? "So what about Lois?" he asks wanting to move on.
"Oh yes Lois. Well she isn't dull. I'll give her that but take it from a married man that she isn't the kind of woman you give your heart to. She has too many parental issues which have left her emotionally shallow." Mr Mxyzptlk makes a face like he has had personal experience of that.
"That's a little harsh," Clark says in defence of Lois.
"Always the good guy aren't you. Always trying to see the best in people but you know it's true. True, deep feelings have Lois running for the hills. I knew all it would take is a few dates and even you would see that so I prodded you into asking her out and the rest as they say is history."
Clark doesn't want to think back on that. "With Diana you said deep down I knew what I wanted and you were right. It was her I wanted. I've wanted her for the first moment I saw her."
"Of course I was right," Mr Mxyzptlk says sounding a little insulted that any suggestion to the contrary could be made. "In that case, however, she needed a little nudging to help you see the light."
"What do you mean?"
"Why do you think she kissed you?"
"You were watching!" Clark exclaims horrified that they were being watched.
"I've been watching you for months Clark and I must say a lot of it I found quite funny. Not as funny as when I pay my visits but still amusing." Mr Mxyzptlk stands up, still floating and the chair he was sitting on vanishes. He rolls up his sleeves and balls up his hands into fists in an attacking stance. "And now that I have sorted out your love life it's time for us to go another few rounds blue boy."
Clark sighs and holds his hands up in a gesture for Mr Mxyzptlk to wait for a minute. "Alright. Alright but can we do this when I'm actually awake."
Mr Mxyzptlk shrugs. "Ok I'll give you a few hours of beauty sleep and then the games will begin once more."
"Yeah yeah I know," Clark says wearily. "Until I get you to say your name."
"No! Say my name backwards! You have to get me to say it backwards!" Mr Mxyzptlk says outraged that Superman has forgotten already.
"I have to get you to say what?" Clark asks pretending he doesn't know what the imp is on about.
"Kltpzyxm! Kltpzyxm!" he yells. "God you're thick," he says a little exasperated.
Clark smirks as Mr Mxyzptlk realises what he did. "Oh no. I'll get you for this!" Mr Mxyzptlk screams as he vanishes back to the fifth dimension and Clark chuckles. He can't believe that still works after all these years.
Clark awakens in bed still chuckling. Suddenly two strong feminine arms come over from behind him and Diana's head rests on his side. "What's so funny?" she asks him.
Clark shakes his head while still laughing softly. "Oh I'll tell you in the morning."
Diana peers at the clock. "It is morning," she points out.
Clark rolls round and gathers Diana into his arms. After dinner their long built up sexual tension finally overwhelmed them and they had ended up making love in Diana's bed. It had been all Clark had ever dreamed of and so much more as he had been able to physically let himself go for the first time in his life. "I'm sorry about your bed by the way," he mentions. They are in fact lying on the mattress amongst the shattered remains of Diana's bed.
Diana smiles at the memory. She hadn't even noticed that they had broken it until after they had finally finished making love. Being with Kal had been so overwhelming that she thinks an atomic bomb could have exploded right outside and she doubts she would have noticed it. "It's ok. Although you can explain it to my mother."
"No thanks. I would rather go another few rounds with Doomsday than face your mother."
Diana is caught between amusement at Kal's fear of her mother and the memory of the pain and anguish his death at the hands of Doomsday caused her.
"Diana?" Clark inquires at her silence.
"I was just thinking."
"The time you died. Gods Kal. That was the worst day of my life and I wasn't even there to help you."
"Good. I'm glad you weren't."
"What do you mean?" she ask him.
"Diana. Doomsday was a monster. He would have killed you without a thought and I could never have lived with myself if that had happened."
Diana snuggles up tighter to him. "Promise me you'll never do that again."
Diana nods in response.
"I have no plans to and if it is true that the laws of human death don't apply to me then you will probably be stuck with me for a long, long time to come."
Diana smiles at that thought. Being immortal had meant she had accepted that she would lose people she knew and loved but the thought that Kal might spend eternity with her, as now her lover, was simply too good to be true. "It's a shame."
"That we never found out what either of us is truly capable of last night."
Clark's eyebrows rise. "Diana. You are aware that if we had done that we would have probably demolished the building."
Diana grins wickedly. "Yeah but it would have been fun."
"Well if you're so desperate to know we could get a weekend off sometime and go up to the Fortress."
Diana notices that a certain part of Kal is up already. "Yeah that sounds good but I think you would like some fun right now."
"Well if you're offering," he jests.
Diana moves to straddle him and begins rubbing her hands over his chest and he moans in response. "God Diana I love you."
"I love you as well Kal," she tells him as she bends down and kisses him.
Clark savours the taste and the feel of her hands on his skin and how she feels under his hands. The incredible silky smoothness that is very inch of her. He has to say that in this 'Dating Game' he definitely picked the right one in the end and for a second he could swear he hears an audience applaud loudly but soon forgets about it to get back to making love to the true love of his life.
"Do we have to watch this!?" Mr Mxyzptlk complains to his wife as they watch Superman and Wonder Woman on a mock up television in their home in the fifth dimension.
"Aw Mxy. Aren't you happy that you got them together?" Gsptlsnz asks.
"No," he sulks due to the fact Superman tricked him…again!
Gsptlsnz smiles and grabs her husband and lays a kiss on him. "Well it makes me happy to know that the man who got us back together is happy. And when I'm happy it makes me want to make you happy."
Mr Mxyzptlk smiles as he realise what she means. "Gspy. Did I mention how much I love you?"
"Why don't you show me?" she says as she takes the effort to walk off in a seductive manner.
Mr Mxyzptlk glances at the tv. "I'll get back at you later," he tells the screen meaning Superman before he goes chasing after his wife. He thinks that maybe today hasn't been such a bad day after all.