Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
IT'S NEW. IT'S AMAZING. IT'S AWESOME. AND THIS IS THE LAST TIME I'M SAYING IT'S. IT'S THE ULTIMATE JACK SPICER DOLL! (It couldn't be an action figure because Jack isn't manly enough).
But…The Jack Spicer doll is the macho-est, manliest doll out there! You can braid his hair and he comes with 3 fashionable ( but still 98.7% masculine) deluxe outfits!*. (*do not remove pink bows, under penalty of law. Any attempt to disfigure or otherwise damage such accessories as ribbons, glitter appliqués, swing tag, or panties will result a fine not to exceed 3000 dollars and a prison sentence not to exceed three years). The Jack Spicer doll is so amazing, it would easily impress the boring people of boring land that live in boring town in boring country on boring continent (and, wow, this is the boringest sentence ever!) It would even impress that boring sentence before this one!
The Jack Spicer doll looks just like the real Jack Spicer! With its pale skin, rhinestone goggles, and bright red hair (which is actually edible!), the Jack Spicer doll puts Mini Diva Starz and Potty Training Kelly to shame! That's right- you can eat his hair! It's yummy and good for you!* (* we are not responsible for loss of hair or unreasonable weight gain).
Everyone who has bought one has been so happy that we've had to invent a new word for their happiness:
adjective. The state in which your face looks like the Joker's from The Dark Knight. Jim's face looked rather Whydoyoulooklikeurfaceissayingwhysoserious, because the Joker had just given him his scar story.
Trust us, you will love the Jack Spicer doll, even more then you love eating sushi in a private suite on your private yacht in your private secret ocean!
Now, let's have a word with some of our extraordinarily Whydoyoulooklikeurfaceissayingwhysoserious customers:
Random dude: Why are you coming to me with a camera? I'm about to go to the bathroom!
Camera guy: Oh. Sorry, dude.
Kimiko (or at least she looks like Kimiko; the voice is definitely off and in no way is this person even Japanese and, anyway, we are using her to make you think it's Kimiko to make you buy our stuff…): the Jack Spicer doll is so awesome and manly, I think I might date it just to #*$ you off, RaiKim Snippers!
And you don't need to hear the other people.
The Jack Spicer doll is only $99999999999999999999999999.99, and it comes with a one- eighth of a day limited warranty!
You can buy the Jack Spicer doll at any store! (Except Wal-mart, Target, Toys r Us, or any other place that consumer items). BUY IT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tada this was my first Xiaolin Showdown fanfic. It was fun to write please review. And tell me Happy Birthday I turn 15 and get my permit on Tuesday!!!!! Hope you liked it and don't forget to review, I might make more products if I get reviews. R/R