August 31st 2001....
The early morning summer air was hot all around us. I wasn't sure if it was the temperature or if it was him and me here in our place....our meadow on his last morning in the town where we grew up. In the town where we started. He kissed me over and over again with reverence and care. My bare back arched off the grass. I moaned and he moaned. I screamed and he screamed. The perfection of the feeling he gave me could never be duplicated. When it was over and we lay in each other's arms as the sun came up I started to feel the weight of what was coming.
"This isn't goodbye. I'll be back at Thanksgiving. There will be letters and calls, nothing will change us. You're the one. You'll always be the one." he murmured with my sobbing face in his hands. I clung to him as hard as I could but he was going where I could never go. I always knew we were different. This town was a mile long and a mile wide and I knew it would never hold him. He was meant for bigger things. We walked out of the woods as the sun rose that morning. He wiped my tears and kissed me again.
"Tell me you'll come back to me." I whispered through my never ending stream of tears.
"I'll always come back to you. You have my heart Bella Swan and someday I'll marry you. I'll give you everything you ever dreamed of and more." he promised. He ran his fingertips over his class ring that hung around my neck.
"I love you with all my heart Edward Masen, I'll be right here." I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him with all the passion my heart could muster. He laid his forehead on mine, "I love you Isabella Swan." He kissed my forehead, my cheeks, my eye lids and finally my lips again then he walked away. I stood in my yard and watched him leave.
On my eighteenth birthday I paced back and fourth waiting for the phone to ring. I knew he would call today of all days. We had never missed a birthday in our entire lives.
"Bella, You're going to be fine! Everyone might be a little shocked but well shit happens right." Alice sat on the side of the bathtub holding the evidence I would quickly discard.
"I haven't heard anything from him!" I sighed.
"Bella there's something down here for you!" my dad called up the stairs. I took the steps two at a time praying it was him. Praying for some small miracle that he had come home from NYU for my birthday. He hadn't called or written but I knew he still loved me. He promised he would love me forever. On the table was a letter with a New York post mark. I ripped it open, heart pounding. I was dieing to hear from him, to hear anything from him. I could of never imagined what I would get.
I know I promised I would be back for Thanksgiving but I'm not coming home. I can't come home. The world is to big. There's so much more to life than Forks. I know you would never leave your dad and I would never ask you too. I'm sorry I did this in a letter but I think it was the best way. Always know that you were my first love, my only love and I'll miss you every day of forever but I have to try this. I have to see if there's more to life.
I dropped the letter like it was burning my fingers and sank down to my knees with my hands clasped over my stomach. It had only took him thirteen days away from home to break every promise he ever made to me. I'd never felt more alone.
7 years later.....
The club was crowded and hot. My tie was choking me and the bimbo on my lap was a carbon copy of every other woman I'd been with since my book got published. It was another release party where the champagne flowed and everyone was patting me on the back telling me how fucking brilliant I was. I wasn't brilliant, I just had a good memory. My book wasn't as original as all the critics made it out to be. It was simply a memoir about a kid with dreams of being a doctor growing up with his best friends in a small rainy town. 'Forks' was number one on the Times best seller list for the sixth week in a row. I had so many things I wanted to be doing that didn't involve being here. I had a phone call to return to my mother, I didn't call home enough. Once or twice a year if I could help it. I had another manuscript I could be working on but I was stuck at this boring club where the music was to loud and the lights were to dim. This wasn't where I wanted to be anymore.
I snuck out of the club before my agent and my publisher could stop me. New York city at three am wasn't slowing down. It didn't feel like anyone was sleeping. The energy of the city buzzed in my ears like an electric symphony. I shoved my hands in my coat pockets and walked slowly back to my loft. I felt my cell phone buzz in my pocket but ignored it assuming it was my manager calling to chide me for leaving before I could be seen with all the beautiful people he needed me to be seen with. I unlocked the door to my apartment and heard my answering machine taking a message.
"Edward, it's mom. I need you to call me back. It's about your father." she hung up before I could answer the line. It was after three in the morning here. What could possibly be so important? I quickly dialed her back.
"Mom I'm sorry I didn't answer. I was out." I said. She sobbed hysterically into the phone.
"Edward. Your fathers had a heart attack. You have to come home." I sank down into the nearest chair and tried to make sense of her words. My dad was healthy right? I realized I wouldn't know. I hadn't been home since I was eighteen. I hadn't seen them.
"Edward, you have to come home. I wouldn't ask you if it wasn't important. The doctors don't think...." she broke down again.
"The doctors don't think what mom?" I asked on the verge of tears myself.
"They don't think he's going to make it. You have to come home. I can't do this alone." I moved over to my computer and booked a flight home for as soon as I could which would be in five hours. I assured my mother I was on my way and packed my bags. For the first time in seven years I was going home.
My flight touched down in Seattle from there I had to rent a car and drive five hours to Forks. I called my mother from the road to check my fathers condition and there had been no change. I thought about all the years I'd been away and all the time I'd wasted. I felt stupid and selfish. How could I have done this to him? I was his only son for fucks sake and it took him dieing in a hospital to get me to come home. When you're eighteen and away from home for the first time you feel like the world is so big and everything is so new. You don't stop to think about the people you're hurting. You don't stop to think about the unreturned phone calls. I hit the city limits and in the light of the morning sun I could see that everything was the same as I had left it. Some of the store fronts had been updated and it looked like there was a new coffee house next to a kids clothing boutique but other then that it was the same. I drove straight to the hospital to be with my father. When I walked in I immediately recognized a girl I had went to high school with, Jessica Stanley. I wondered briefly if she remembered me.
"Hi I'm here to see Edward Masen." I said quietly. She smiled and wrote down his room number for me. "I read your book." she announced before I walked away. I stopped briefly and looked at her. "Jennifer Hanley was a real slut. I hope I wasn't really that bad." she said. I had changed the names to protect the innocent but apparently I didn't do a good job. I wondered in the elevator how many other people found themselves in the pages of my book. My thoughts immediately turned to my best friends, I hoped that I portrayed them in a flattering light. I honestly never worried about it before because well I had never planned to come back here. My mother was standing outside his room when I rounded the corner off the elevator. I wrapped my arms around her and patted her back. She was just the same as always. I had forgotten how much I looked like her, we had to same bronze hair and green eyes. Our skin tone was the same but she was shorter. My height I got from my father.
"How is he?" I could see his feet at the end of the bed inside his room. I felt sick to my stomach thinking of going in there.
"He's the same. He's delirious and keeps asking for you. I'm so glad you came Edward." she said. Her voice was low and horse.
"You didn't think I would?" I asked her. She shrugged and wrapped her arms tight over her chest.
"You haven't been home in seven years. I didn't know if you would come. I didn't know if you would even return my call." her words were a low direct blow and they cut right through me. I went slowly into my fathers room. He looked tiny in the hospital bed. Not the strapping tall man I remembered. Poles and machines were everywhere. I was scared to go to his side, like if I touched him I might break something or disconnect something. I sat down carefully in the chair at his bed side and put my hand gently under his.
"Edward?" my fathers voice was weak and soft. I scooted closer to him so he didn't have to strain to be heard.
"Yeah dad it's me." I squeezed his hand. He turned his face towards me and smiled weakly.
"You came home." he whispered with an awe that broke my heart in two.. I nodded and forced a smile.
"Yeah I'm here. Don't worry you're going to be fine." I assured him. The statement was as much for me as it was for him.
"Son. You've lost your way but it's ok. You're home now." he opened his eyes and looked into mine. I didn't have the heart to tell him I wanted to run out of this town as fast as I could. I didn't have the heart to tell him I had no desire to stay.
"I'll be here as long as you need me dad. Just rest." I placed my other hand on top of his.
"No Edward there's no time for rest. I have so much to tell you." he said. I had things I wanted to tell him too but I thought there would be time for that later. I always thought there would be more time.
"Dad, there will be time to talk later. Get some sleep." I started to stand up and pull my hands from his but he grabbed on to my hand with all his strength.
"Edward. You have to take care of your mother. She needs you and Edward....Bella....we never got a chance to tell you." My father lay dieing and he was rambling on about my high school sweetheart. I heard my mother come in and move over to his other side.
"Edward. It's ok. You men will talk later." she kissed his forehead gently and looked deep in his eyes.
"No Elizabeth! I have to tell him now. It has to be now. There's no more time!" his voice was strangled and rough. I felt so helpless. His breaths became short and labored. I ran out to get a nurse and when I came back he was gone.
A/n- I know I have other stories started and I should finish those first but some stories beg to be written. I hope everyone enjoys this and the second chapter is almost done. This story was not beta'd and I fully realize the errors made. I am hoping the next chapters wont have so many. As always review review review.