Disclaimer: I don't, and never will, not even in my wildest dreams, own House MD or any of the characters in that show. How depressing was that statement?

I was debating whether or not to write a House MD fanfiction in the first place. But, since I've been watching the show non-stop for about a week, I guess I kind of got the courage to take a shot at it. I know that this pairing (House/Chase) sounds a little far-fetched, but I can see it happening. After all, Chase is way too hot to be straight...right? Right! Now go on, read and enjoy the twisted pervertedness that is solely from the wicked smart mind of Blood Red Vampress. Now, I think I'll shut up, stop rambling on and let you guys get to the story....

[Recommended song while reading: "Situation (US 12" Remix)" -Artist: Yaz]


-Two Doctors In One Room Gets Pretty Damn Hot-

Part I- Where, Oh Where, Has The Wombat Gone?

"House! Where is Dr. Chase?," Cuddy called as she caught up to the diagnostician.

"I don't know, Cuddy. However, I do know that I am not responsible for their clinic duty," House kept on walking, not bothering to care about Cuddy's apparent worry.

"He is part of your team! How can you act like this? He was never late for work before! Aren't you worried in the least?," Cuddy stepped in front of House, blocking his way and making him stop walking.

"I also know that you should wear low-cut shirts like that more often. When you scream like that, I can see you boobs better," House stepped around Cuddy and kept walking.

"House! You will not get away from me this time! Wait!," Cuddy called after him and rushed to catch him.

"What?," House whined as he stopped walking.

Cuddy sighed and walked up to him, looking him in the eyes.

"Listen. I want you to call Dr. Chase and make sure he isn't dying...or dead for that matter. Then, when that's done, I want you get your ass back in the clinic. You still owe me 50 hours and they won't just disappear on their own," Cuddy whispered tormentingly.

Without another word, she took off, leaving House in the middle of the hallway.

"'Call him' she says," House mocked. "So what if he's dead? It's just one less intensivist in the world. God fobid that happens!"

House grunted and popped another Vicodin pill before making his way to the elevator.

When the elevator doors opened, Cameron was inside by herself.

"Good morning Dr. House!," Cameron smiled as he walked in.

"Oh great....at least one duckling didn't wander away yet," House said.

"What do you mean?," Cameron asked, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"I mean that Chase is MIA," House paused. "You didn't have sex with him last night and leave him crippled, right? The poor kid...."

"No I didn't," Cameron said with annoyance replacing the concern on her face as she blushed.

"It's alright. You don't have to lie to me. I saw you two in the closet, remember?"

"House! I don't know where he is. Why don't you just call him then?"

"That's what I was getting to before you jumped on my back. Jeez...I was just asking a simple question. Kids these days are so ridiculous!," House mocked.

Cameron didn't reply to that one.

"Hey...I know! Why don't you call him and save the crippled old man a long walk back to his office?," House suggested.

The elevator stopped and the doors opened.

"How about you call him yourself and let me know when he shows up?," Cameron answered.

"But-," House was cut off when she walked out and left him alone.

The elevator doors closed.

"Damn kids. Good thing I never had any," House said to himself.

It only took about a minute for House to actually get to his office and sit at his desk.

He took a second to really wonder where Chase was. After all, Chase was never late for work. Especially not for clinic duty.

House could understand why Cuddy would be worried, but Chase was a full grown wombat. Surely he could take care of himself by now.

House gave in with a sigh as he reached for his phone.

Pressing "two" on the speed dial, he waited for Chase to pick up.

The phone rang for a minute before House got impatient and slammed the phone back in its cradle.

"Where the hell did he go? And why the hell do I get stuck in the middle of all this?," he groaned as he picked up the phone again.

This time House paged Chase, knowing that if Chase didn't hear the phone, he would definitely hear his beeper.

He gave it a minute before the phone rang.

"Wombat?," House picked up.

"Yes House? You paged me?," the heavily pronounced Australian accent answered.

"Yea," House paused, then screamed. "Where the hell are you?"

"Why? I was with a patient."

"Liar, liar! Sorry, wrong answer," House replied.

"What are you talking about?"

"You weren't at the clinic this morning. Cuddy got on my ass because she didn't see you."

"No, I was there on time. I even checked in. All she had to do was check the roster. I was the attending until about ten minutes ago. That's weird," Chase said in confusion.

"No, you're weird. Why would you sneak around like that?"

"I wasn't sn-"

"Wait! Let me guess! Cameron told me that you didn't have sex... so that means that you were avoiding Cuddy because you and Cuddy had a one night stand. Right?"

"House, I-," Chase's voice was starting to rise.

"Awww! You're no fun! You could have let me join you guys in a threesome."

"If you asked, I would have let you join. But, sadly, I didn't do Cuddy last night."

"Oh, now I'm listening," House said.

"House, I did nothing of the sort. I came into work earlyand that's probably why Dr. Cuddy didn't see me. I agreed to meet with parents of my patient for breakfast. That's all," Chase explained.

"Get up here."

"What?"

"I said you need to get your wombat-y ass up here now," House demanded.

"Why? I have to-"

"No. What you have to do is get up here before I change my mind."

"Change your mind for what?," Chase asked, confused.

"Just hurry up," House snarled into the phone.

He hung up abruptly and sighed.

He looked down and saw the ever present bulge straining against his jeans.

"Great. Now I have to molest yet another duckling," House said to himself. "Aussie was asking for it."

When Chase spoke about that Cuddy threesome thing, it got him going. Now, Chase was going to pay.

Big time... If he ever got his beautiful ass upstairs, that is.


Whoo. Finally done. I hope it wasn't too awful.

Anyways, leave me a review and I'll be more inspired to type up the next (and final) part for you guys. :)

PS- This fanfic is in two parts only. The next part will be the wonderful glorifying slash that you all will be waiting for. Yummy.