My first Naruto fic. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I'm not even Japanese.


There was a time when I was safe; when I was happy. I was surrounded in my own haven with no problems, no worry. Someone loved me, and wanted to keep me safe. No terror, no fighting, nothing at all.

Then it was torn apart.

My haven, my mother, was taken away from me forever. We were separated. I was not fully me yet, not ready to face the world on my own; but I had to, for the only thing that could keep me safe was on the floor dead.

They took me—no he took me—and told me that everything would be okay. I was supposed to be their savior. He was proud of me, he said. After all, he was my father.

But it was a lie: he was not proud of me. He wanted to use me, even if it was for the village. I was fused with evil. A sand demon and I became one. We were combined against my will. I wanted to cry out, to go back to the only world that I had ever known. The demon did not resist.

And then I was different. Totally and completely different. I wanted friends, to be like everyone else, but I could not. To my father I was special. To me I was nothing. My heart ached all the time. It was worse when I tried to play with everyone else and they ran away.

It ached the most on that day, that day where the one who told me that everything was all right, that I was loved, took it all back. It had come about on a simple order: kill me. He could have turned it down. He loved me. But neither was true. My own relative tried to take me down, but it backfired. He was hurt physically; I was hurt mentally. In the end in all came down to one simple word:


Was I loved? Was I hated? Was I nothing at all? I had no answer because the one who told them for me was now lying there telling me how much I was despised. Love doesn't work that way, does it? It is not suppose to make you hate everything.

My father, my uncle, everyone: they should love me. Then why did my father try to have me killed? Why did he keep trying? He created me, made me into this creature that everyone feared. I was not dangerous, was I?

But I became dangerous. I took the sand and used it on myself. It left behind a scar of the one thing I yearn for yet hate.


I was meant to protect. Now I destroy. It is better that way; everyone for themselves. I take away lives to prove mine—I am alive, no matter how many times assassins are sent after me. This way I feel nothing. Death is nothing anymore.

No more safe haven. No more heart ache. No more love.

It is better this way, isn't it?


Gaara is my favorite character. He is a tortured soul. :}