And then I looked up to the sun and I could see
Oh, the way that gravity turns for you and me
And then I looked up at the sky and saw the sun
And the way that gravity pulls on everyone
Sasuke stared, thoughtfully, as the rays of light refracted through the warm night air and rested gently upon his skin. He was alone for the moment, waiting patiently on the sidewalk for his boyfriend to come outside the house. Distant noises reached him from down the street: dogs barking, cars whirring by, and kids taking advantage of the warm summer night. A child's laughter echoed in his ears, reminding him of games that his brother and himself would play when they were younger. It was a rare occasion for them to have time for games, but when they did, all of their problems became obsolete. Tag was their favorite, though Sasuke-being the youngest and therefore the one with shorter legs-always lost. Sometimes they would lay in their backyard and make shapes from connecting stars in the sky. Itachi tended to pick that one, as he didn't have to do anything too strenuous. And, even once, on a summer night just like the current one, they played a game of hide-and-go-seek.
Darkness surrounded Sasuke as the street light went out. He blinked, looking past the contraption into the sky. The moon was new and absent, leaving the world without a light to scare the monsters away. It was nights like these that he hated the most. Memories floated in the back of his mind, bringing him back to a place he left long ago. He was back to the grass itching beneath his legs, back to his brother's voice telling him to hide, back to the owl calls lulling him to sleep, to the screams that made him wake, to the blood, the smile, the voice. "You found me."
Nights like this reminded him of death. That stale smell and ache, wringing his senses through grief and indecision over the years. Death was inevitable. As with his parents, it could be unannounced and unprepared for, leaving only bodies in its wake. He could die tonight, a night so similar and fitting to before, and his soul...his soul...
The light snapped back on and Sasuke turned sharply to find his boyfriend, Naruto, jogging across the driveway towards him. "Woah! The light went out you were so still! How did you-" The blond paused, his sapphire eyes narrowing slightly. "Hey," he said slowly, "What's wrong?"
Sasuke shuffled a bit, folding his pale arms and turning his gaze back to the blank sky. Naruto frowned but didn't say anything. He was used to Sasuke thinking before he spoke, no matter how much the habit annoyed him.
"What is..." Sasuke began uncertainly, trying to find the words. He licked his lips softly and tried again. "What is...your greatest fear?"
Naruto looked at him strangely at first, but reluctantly gave in and closed his eyes to concentrate. "Hmm..." He scrunched his face for a moment before opening his eyes again, looking resigned. "Letting people down. Or losing people closest to me." Sasuke nodded, not at all surprised by the answer. Blue eyes still lingered intensely on him though, now filled with curiosity.
"What's yours?" Naruto prompted.
Sasuke didn't even react. His voice just floated smoothly across the words as if he had said them a thousand times over, now a dull and normal routine. "I'm afraid of my soul dying. To disappear."
Naruto's mouth fell open a bit. "You're afraid of...dying?" He never thought Sasuke would be afraid of anything, least of all dying. It was ridiculous, and the blond refused to believe it. Evidently, Sasuke did to as he sent his boyfriend a stern glare.
"Not my body, idiot. I'm afraid of my soul dying," he said. The black-haired youth nearly scoffed in irritation at Naruto's confused look, asking him 'What's the difference?' He waited a few seconds before continuing. "It's like...your soul holds everything that matters. Who you are. When your body dies, you can still have your soul, but when your soul dies, you lose everything." He paused, glancing at Naruto, who nodded uncertainly.
"Every person you ever met and committed to memory, every task you've ever done, every sight and smell, every laugh and touch, all of it would die with you and eventually, die with the others who remember you. Your whole existence would be insignificant and meaningless, leading to no where but an abyss that you fade into, never to hear, think, feel, or love again. You're just...gone." Sasuke finished and looked to the ground, breathing deeply from the overwhelming fear coursing through him at the thought.
Naruto stood quietly for a moment, both shocked by the possibility he never thought about, and by the utterly lost and afraid look his lover wore. He had never, in the years he knew Sasuke, seen him so terrified. His pale frame shook slightly, rattling under the pressure his crossed, rigid arms were applying. Naruto could see his hands clenching painfully over his skin, and the blond wouldn't be surprised if bruises appeared there later. The sight was so painful-he couldn't stand it, so he took the few steps forward and wrapped his arms around Sasuke's shoulders, pressing the other to his chest.
Slowly, yet almost desperately, Naruto felt arms wrap around his back, nearly trying to crush him in the effort to feel something, anything, but the fear. He felt helpless, just holding him gently, wishing there was more that he could do. And just when he thought, maybe, that he should stop, Sasuke spoke softly, his chin resting on Naruto's shoulder, lips pressed against his ear. "I think, some days, that this isn't real at all. I can't feel anything. I can't even feel you holding me." Naruto pulled back a bit, frowning. He maneuvered Sasuke's face in front of him, taking in the guilt etched into the creases of his skin. He didn't mean to hurt Naruto. It was the truth.
"Hey," Naruto said softly, bringing a hand up to cup Sasuke's cheek. Reluctantly, dark eyes turned to focus on him, and Naruto felt a rush of love. He realized how vulnerable Sasuke was at that moment, and how no one ever saw this but him. Surely, he thought, even in death, feelings like this could never fade. Gently, Naruto pressed his lips against his partner's, closing his eyes and taking his time pulling away. He then moved down to his neck, kissing lightly down to the curve before his shoulder, where, impulsively, he bit down, hard.
"Nngh." Sasuke twitched slightly from the pain and clenched his hands over Naruto's shirt. The blond continued to bite down harder, not stopping until he tasted blood. The pain then abruptly stopped, only pulsing gently while Naruto kissed the blood away. Sasuke breathed deeply until his muscles relaxed, the pain absorbing the empty feeling and the fear.
Naruto pulled back up and kissed Sasuke again, on the lips, an eerily serious expression on his face. "This is real," he said, "I'm real. And like hell you're going to get away with thinking that I would let you die alone. Soul or whatever."
Sasuke looked taken aback for a second before smirking, his normally confident air whisking back to his features. He leaned forward, this time stealing a kiss, and locked eyes with Naruto, murmuring against his lips. "Now what do we do?"
Naruto gave a small smile and a hint of a chuckle. "We live. Duh." And in a flash, he had pecked Sasuke's lips and run off down the sidewalk, bouncing excitedly. "Now let's go! We're late!"
Sasuke's brow twitched in annoyance, his hands dropping with a thud to his sides. He made care to walk slowly behind his boyfriend, enjoying the payback to the blond's nerves. But he refused to admit, the whole way down the walk, that with the loss of Naruto's arms, the night suddenly felt so much colder. Maybe, even if he hadn't realized it at the time, he could feel the embrace all along.
The notion made Sasuke smile, blocking out the thoughts of death, of change, and, most gratefully, the thought of angered friends yelling at him as he and Naruto arrived late to the cinema, again, for the third time that week.
I am surrendering to gravity and the unknown
Catch me, heal me, lift me back up to the sun
I choose to live
Author's Note: Woo! I told myself that I was going to write something today and I did. :D Mission accomplished. Sorry if the boys seem a little out of character. It probably would have been more sensible to make Naruto the one with the fear, but I like writing Sasuke so much more. I can't help it. And the fear, by the way, is mine. I nearly had another panic attack thinking about it last night, and i've been in a kind of funk all day. Soo...I hope my fear brought you some entertainment? o.o
Disclaimer: I don't own the Naruto series/characters. Nor do I own the songs "Gravity" by Coldplay or "Gravity" by A Perfect Circle. (I thought the songs having the same name was clever. XD )