When It All Falls Apart
Forgetting. Pain. Loneliness.
My name, you ask? I didn't know. How old was I? I didn't know. Where was I? Thomas Jefferson University Hospital in Philadelphia, PA. I know what you're thinking. She didn't know who she is or how old she was? She must have been crazy! I wasn't. Crazy, I mean. I didn't know why I was in the hospital. Well, of course I knew why. With one broken leg, several broken ribs, and a concussion, I knew why I'm in here. I just don't know how I got in here. The nurses didn't tell me anything. My doctor barely even checked on me.
Everyone in this place kept treating me like I was fragile. Like I was broken. Let's get one thing straight. I was not broken. Maybe I was. I don't know. That's the one thing I thought I was sure of. I had been in there for at least a week and not one visitor. Not one. Was I really that despicable? Did I actually have that many enemies?
I sighed as I flipped through another copy of In-Style Magazine. Fashion always calmed me down, it still does. I smiled as I flip through carefully. I heard someone talking to my nurse outside and I looked up hopefully. I scolded myself immediately.
As if someone would actually want to see me. I don't even know my freaking name.
I looked at the door, hopefully. My hopes were crushed as the man walks down the hallway. My eyes filled with tears as I slammed my magazine shut. I threw it on the ground, I didn't really care where it landed. I pulled the covers up as my sobs got louder and louder. I just wanted to curl up into a little ball and cry until I fell asleep, which usually happens when I cry hard.
"Hey. You alright in there?"
I looked around, quickly trying to wipe my tears away in embarrassment. When I saw no one, I got confused.
"I must be crazy." I mumbled to myself.
"Crazy?", the beautiful voice laughed, "I didn't say that."
I looked around, angry now.
"Who and where are you?!" I spat out, much angrier than I intended.
The velvet, smooth voice laughed again and said, "I'm in the room next to yours. I heard you crying.."
I groaned in embarrassment and slammed my head against my pillow. My ribs screamed in protest and I put my hand over my mouth to keep from screaming.
"You.. didn't answer me. Who are you?" I said, trying to keep my breath under control.
The masculine voice said, "I'm Jasper. What's your name?"
Reminded of why I was crying in the first place, my tears began again as I tried not to sob as loud as before.
"I-i-I," I stuttered, "don't have a name."
"No name? I haven't heard that one before. Maybe you should pick a name."
"Stop It!" I screamed, and then I whispered quietly, "Stop it, please."
"I'm.. I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"
I shook my head furiously, then I realized he can't see me I say, "it's okay, Jasper. I'm just.. I'm a wreck right now and.. I'm going to go to sleep."
"I'm here, in case you ever need to talk."
I smiled, in spite of myself, as I started to fall asleep.
"Night Jasper." I whispered as my eyes closed.
That was the first night I dreamt of Jasper.