Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy X or any of its characters and I make no money from writing this story. If I did own FFX, Tidus would just admit he's gay and get on with it already.

I found this fic that I wrote back in middle school, so I decided to rewrite it and then post it because... well, because why not? This particular story is Auron/Tidus, though not until a few chapters later, sorry. This chapter's pretty tame compared to the ones to come, so you've been warned. Oh, and this is yaoi, meaning boy on boy, so if you don't like that then don't read it please.

Warnings: language, mild violence

Chapter 1: Wrong?

Tidus woke to the sound of his blaring alarm clock and groggily reached over to pound the snooze button. By the third time the alarm went off he finally hauled himself out of bed, cursing at having to wake so early on a Sunday. He stumbled out of his room and down the hall, somehow managing to not walk into anything. Yawning, he yanked open the fridge and pulled out two eggs, cracking them into a pan and frying them for breakfast.

Auron wasn't home. He knew this by the simple fact that he was cooking for himself. If the older man had been home, he would have had breakfast prepared for the boy before he had even opened his eyes fully, and it would probably have been more elaborate then a few fried eggs. As it was, Auron had gone out the night before and wasn't back yet.

As the blond chewed his food thoughtfully, he wondered for the millionth time why that was. Auron had been doing this a lot lately for about the past six months. He'd go out at night and be gone for a day or two before returning without a word. Tidus really didn't mind this, after all he was old enough to look after himself for a few days, but it confused him. He couldn't fathom where Auron was constantly going. The only thing his fourteen-year-old mind could come up with was that Auron was shacking up with someone during his absence, a thought that always made Tidus blush profoundly. He knew it was only a natural for a single man in his early thirties to do this, but he was still young enough to be embarrassed by the thought. Besides, he just couldn't picture calm, stoic Auron writhing in the throes of passion.

Giggling at the thought of this, Tidus finished his breakfast, dumping the plate in the sink to be washed at a later time. He hurriedly got dressed, brushed his teeth, ran a comb through unruly blond hair, and left his houseboat, making sure the door was securely locked behind him. Humming slightly to himself, the cheery teen made his way to the high school for blitz practice, all thoughts of anger at having to wake so early gone. After all, he had been given the opportunity to play on the high school team a year early, thanks to his amazing skills and long hours of practice. He really had no room to complain. This was a dream come true for him, and he'd do whatever it took to prove he was deserving of this honor. Even if that something was getting up at the ungodly hour of five in the morning.

As he entered the locker room, he averted his gaze away from the looks of the other boys. He'd been playing on the high school team for nearly three months now, but being surrounded by the older, taller boys still made him uneasy. It didn't matter that they had come to accept him after he'd proven himself in practice; it was still unnerving to be the smallest one there. He hadn't even gotten the large growth spurt most males received around his age yet, and he found himself going to sleep every night praying he would grow at least a little so he wouldn't be even with everyone's shoulders or lower anymore.

"Hey, Tidus. Good morning."

Tidus jumped slightly as a large hand came down on his shoulder and looked up into the smiling face of the team's vice captain, Pell. "Ah, good morning," he gasped out breathlessly, his face immediately going red because he knew he sounded like a complete dork.

"You ready to blitz?" Pell asked laughingly.

"You bet!"

Pell laughed outright this time, ruffling Tidus' hair, before moving on and talking to Vin, another boy on the team.

Tidus smiled slightly as he smoothed the hair Pell had knocked out of place. His hands were big and warm, his voice was light and comforting. He had blond hair much like Tidus', only shorter, and it always looked so soft. Tidus wanted to run his fingers through it, and look deep into his gorgeous green eyes flecked with gold. He wanted to kiss him and…

Immediately, Tidus pulled his mind away from where his thoughts were leading him. Now wasn't the time for this, practice would start soon. He could daydream about him and Pell all he wanted later, which he fully intended on doing. He did it all the time, actually. He'd had a crush on the seventeen-year-old vice captain since the moment he'd laid eyes on him. The crush just deepened when Pell was so kind to him, treating him like he belonged on the team and never letting anyone pick on him. He'd do just about anything for one kiss with him.

Tidus was so lost in his own thoughts, he didn't even notice Pell and Vin shooting him glances from across the locker room, didn't see the anger in Pell's normally cheerful green eyes. Then practice started, and all thoughts of Pell were completely pushed aside for the time being.

~Feel no shame for what you love~

Practice lasted all day that particular Sunday, the boys only getting a break for lunch. Around five or so, coach finally let them go, and Tidus showered quickly, doing his best to keep his eyes away from the well-developed members the others boys were sporting that made his own look pathetic in comparison.

Dammit, he thought angrily, glaring down at his own penis as if it had done something wrong. Grow already would you? This is embarrassing!

Once he'd showered and dressed, he was about to leave and go home to ease his growling stomach when someone lazily put an arm around his shoulders, effectively stopping him. "Hey, Tidus," Pell said, very close to his ear. "A bunch of us are going out for a bite to eat and some fun. Wanna come?"

Tidus felt as if his heart stopped and then started up again at twice its normal speed. As nice as Pell and many of the other guys had always been to him, they had never invited him out after practice. Really, he had never expected them to, he was quite a bit younger than them. But now… "Y-Yeah! Yeah, sure, I'd love to!"

Pell smiled. "Great. Let's go then," and Tidus found himself being propelled out of the school and down the street to a fast-food place where they could eat. It was himself, Pell, Vin, and four other guys from the team, all of whom were seniors or juniors. All upper-classmen. This more than anything made Tidus happy to be included. That and the fact that Pell's warm hand was constantly on his shoulder or ruffling his baby-soft hair, those amazing green eyes constantly focused on him and only him. This attention made his heart soar, and he did his best not to let it show on his face.

After they'd eaten, he was led a few blocks away to a bar and felt himself hesitating, looking at Pell inquiringly. "We can't go in there, can we? I mean, even you guys aren't old enough…"

Pell laughed and ruffled his hair again. "Don't worry, it's all right."

Tidus scrunched his face up more. How was it all right?

"My dad owns this place," Vin said in lieu of explanation, and Tidus nearly jumped at being spoken to by the gruff, quiet older boy. "It doesn't open for a few more hours, so we can stay till then. He doesn't care."

"Oh." Tidus chewed on the inside of his lip as Pell led him through the front door. He suddenly felt nervous. Very nervous. Should he really be here? Auron would kill him if he ever found out. Then again, if Auron didn't find out, it could be a lot of fun. And besides, being here gave him a chance to spend more time with Pell… All thoughts of leaving vanished with that realization, and he sat next to Pell at the bar as Vin poured beers for all of them.

While the rest of the guys played pool, Tidus found himself alone at the bar with Pell, eyeing the amber-colored liquid in front of him hesitantly. Pell took a long swig of his own drink and grinned at the younger blond. "Have you ever had alcohol before, Tidus?"

Tidus felt his face grow bright red in embarrassment. "No," he admitted softly. "Well, I tried a sip of sake once, but I didn't like it." He grimaced with the memory of his eleven-year-old self taking a sip from Auron's jug and literally choking on the stuff. That had been one of the few times Auron had truly laughed.

Right now though, Pell was the one laughing, a much different sound from Auron's rumbling chuckle. "Don't worry, this is just beer, it isn't as strong as sake. You might not like the taste, though; it can take some getting used to."

Tidus cautiously took a very small sip, relieved when it went down smoothly. Pell was right, he didn't really like the taste, but it was much better than the sake that had burned his throat and made his eyes water while Auron laughed at his misery. Feeling braver, he took a much larger sip, shooting a grin Pell's way. "Not bad."

Pell only smiled.

It only took half a beer before Tidus was nicely buzzed. He honestly wasn't drunk, but everything was slowly starting to become just a bit harder to focus on. That and he suddenly felt inanely happy for no particular reason. He really liked this feeling. He liked the way his stomach felt warm and… "Huh?" He abruptly realized Pell had been saying something to him.

"I said I have something to ask you." Pell moved a bit closer to him, lowering his voice just slightly. Tidus studied his face and noticed there was something different about his eyes, but the alcohol clouded his mind just enough to keep from figuring out what that something was. "Someone said something to me today I found really interesting. They said that they thought you had a crush on me."

Tidus felt his breath catch, and his face lit up like a Christmas tree. What had he just said? Someone had noticed? Shit, who?

"Well, Tidus? Is it true?"

Tidus licked his lips hastily, not knowing what to say. Why did Pell want to know anyway? Did he maybe like Tidus? Was that even possible? Was Pell gay too? That seemed too good to be true, but Tidus knew he couldn't possibly be the only gay person in Zanarkand. Hell, he passed a very popular gay club on his way home from school everyday, obviously there were gay people around besides just himself. Maybe Pell was one of them? Dammit, it was hard to think clearly. The alcohol wasn't really letting his mind work the way it should, and Pell was watching him expectantly, waiting for an answer.

"I… well, I…" He chewed his lip anxiously. Shit, could he really admit it?

"C'mon, Tidus, don't lie to me," Pell coaxed, his voice sounding like a hiss. "Is it true?"

Tidus bit his lip hard one last time, knowing he couldn't lie to Pell, the person he idolized and fantasized about. "Yeah, it's true," he said softly. As soon as he said it, it felt like a weight lifted off his shoulders. It was out in the open now, and something about that relieved him a little. He felt a little better and was frankly quite proud of himself for what had been his first confession, no matter how clumsy it had been.

Pell pulled back from him then with a soft "huh" sound. Tidus looked up at him again and felt all his pride of accomplishment disappear instantly. Pell's eyes were still strange, except this time he knew why. Pell was pissed. No, Pell wasn't just pissed, he was downright furious.

Tidus heard a soft, malicious laugh from behind him and spun around, eyes widening in shock. The other boys who had been playing pool had now stopped, and he realized, horrified, that they had heard every word. Vin kept laughing in that creepy way before he shot a disturbing grin at Pell. "I told you."

~Feel no shame for what you love~

Tidus limped slowly home, hot tears running leisurely down his face, breath hitching in his sore throat. Everything hurt. Walking hurt, breathing hurt, seeing hurt… Dammit, he just wanted to get home so he could sleep this nightmare away. When had it even gotten dark out? What time was it? Was Auron home yet?

That last thought stopped him dead in his tracks. Auron. Shit, he didn't want Auron to see him right now. But besides home he didn't have anywhere else to go. Could he hide somewhere? No, that was stupid, Auron had always found him any time he'd tried to hide before, this would be no different. Maybe he could…

He winced at a particularly sharp pain in his chest. Fuck it, he was in too much pain to stand here thinking about this. Besides, the sooner he got home, the better chance he had of beating Auron there.

He stumbled pathetically up to the door of his houseboat and tried the knob to find it locked. Fumbling in his pocket for his key, he knew that was a good sign. If Auron had come back he would probably have left the door unlocked for him. As he slowly stepped inside, shutting the door softly behind him, he thought he'd better be sure.

"Au-Auron?" he called out, his voice sounding horribly strained. He let out a soft sigh of relief, when he was met by only silence. Auron really wasn't home.

Nearly sobbing in relief, he stumbled into the bathroom and immediately stripped off his clothes, throwing them in the trash bin underneath the sink. He never wanted to see that particular outfit again, assuming the stains could even be washed out. He climbed into the shower, turning the water on to a scalding hot temperature, watching with some amusement as the shower floor turned red.


He shivered as memories washed back over him. He had managed to preoccupy his mind with thoughts of Auron before, but now there was nothing to keep him from going back to just a few hours ago. He hugged himself, falling to his knees on the shower floor as the voices in his head continued their relentless assault. He didn't even realize he was sobbing like a baby until quite a while later when he forced himself to his feet and turned the water off, the blood and dirt now gone from his skin and hair. "Crybaby," a new voice said now, and for the first time in his life, he agreed.

That's right, he thought bitterly. I am a crybaby. A stupid, weak, pathetic crybaby.

Despite thinking this, he was unable to stop the sobs that ripped themselves from him as he forced himself to step out of the shower and dry himself off. As he forced himself down the hall to his room where he put on a pair of shorts. As he forced himself to the kitchen where he forced some water down his aching throat… And then he just didn't want to force himself anymore.

He staggered blindly to the couch where he collapsed in a pathetic heap of tears and curled up on himself, wishing he would just die. Why hadn't they just killed him? Would that have been too kind on their part? Probably. He was a weak, pathetic, faggot crybaby, and he didn't deserve the relief of death.

Okay, I know there's no Auron in this chapter, but he'll be there next chapter, I promise. And of course there will also be steamy boy sex coming soon. I just need to finish editing... Reviews are always welcome, even bad ones as long as you can tell me why.