Hi just another little note. First of all thanks for all the amazing reviews a a particular shout out and thank you to sonic nurse for her amazingly encouraging and lovely reviews, thank you for introducing my story to others, that's really kind. I hope that future chapters live up to it.
I don't really have a plan for how the story ends, but be assured I don't think I'll leave on it a cliffy as I hate it when other people do it Lol.
I apologise to some of the other readers who have written to say that they are a bit confused, it was kind of intentional but I never intended to leave you hanging for so long.
Just to clear it up, Alice is not aware of where Jasper has been since he left her. (He doesn't know anything about his marriage to Bella)
She cannot have visions of him since his life has become entangled with Bella.
It will all be cleared up in later chapters, so hold tight!!
P.S I would love to hear your thoughts on this bit because this chapter wasn't supposed to exist but it popped into my head and wouldn't leave me alone, it's quite melodramatic please review!!
I am a lion in chains; a muzzled wolf, or even a vampire in love
Jasper's words swirl through my conscious as I struggle to look at him. I need to stare into his eyes, I need to exchange his own words with my own, but my eyes refuse my command, as they lock me into darkness.
Everything is torn away, I cannot even feel his cold arms around me, or the covers that are gathered around my form.
There is nothing and I know that I am screaming but I can hear nothing but the oppressive silence.
My body thrashes and flails against the darkness, but I hit nothing.
It could be a minute or an hour, when I see the first glimmers of colour bleeding into the black. The emptiness slowly changes; blades of grass and trees appear, familiarity clinging to every little detail.
This is a dream.
It must be a dream, it has to be.
For I am in a meadow; the meadow.
I am not, I am in bed, and I'm going to wake at any moment.
I slam my eyes shut and take a steadying breath but it has the opposite effect. There are the smells of violets; freesia and other wild flowers.
The sound of rustling leaves, and branches gently whisper in the background.
This is a dream.
I can feel the wind that gently caresses my skin; turning from cool to warm.
The dark behind my lids shifts as I feel the sun gazing down upon me.
No I can't. There is no breeze nor sun, I am asleep, I am in bed.
With increased hesitance I open my eyes very slowly.
When I open them I will be between the sheets, with Jasper.
It is incredibly bright and vivid, as the vision swirls into life in front of me.
The meadow is just as I remember, but completely different at the same time.
Everything is so clear, as if I was blind before, the air is virtually shimmering under the gaze of the sun.
I can make out every individual blade of grass, every leaf that adorns the crowding forest.
The meadow is more real than anything that I have experienced while awake.
Yet everything pales into insignificance when I hear his voice. Angels have nothing on the man that stands behind me.
"Do you like it?" He whispers; his breath is so close to my neck; cold, like everything else about him.
I shiver, desperate not to turn round.
"Edward" I let out his name in a sigh; the familiar tingle that he always elicits begins to electrify my skin, but I still manage to keep my back to him.
"Yes my love-"
"-Don't" I counter, because at present I am still upright but his proximity is having it's usual effect, and I know that within moments his hands will be on me.
This is a dream, this is a dream, it has to be.
"Of course it is Bella. But that doesn't mean it's not real"
Stay away from him, he is dangerous.
Do not let him touch you.
The voice of caution that used to hound me in my more destructive times after Edward's desertion is back, yet it is no longer Edward pleading for my life, but Jasper.
When Edward's fingers some into contact with my skin I can't help but intake a sharp breath.
"Have you finally realised the danger I pose Bella?"
Remain still, do not turn round.
Venom coats every word and I now realise that this is not the vice of my lost love. Edward has disappeared to be replaced by a monster; something incredibly dangerous, a vampire.
"Edward would never harm me, he may have done a lot of things. he may have ran away from me, he may have hurt me with his words, but those were the acts of a man, not a monster."
My body is no longer my own as I turn so that I am within hairsbreadth of him.
Jasper voice is no longer a whisper, but a scream, a howl.
Don't do this.
My breath once again catches as I survey the creature in front of me. His skin is bathed in light, showcasing the flawless diamond of his torso. It is so different to Jasper, whose impurities are displayed for all to see in the light.
Yet it is the eyes which hold me transfixed; blood red burning into brown.
The eyes of a killer
The vengeful god has come to claim his prize.
"You are not Edward. Take what you came here for. ."
The smile he bestows upon me is feral and beautiful in equal measure; his razor sharp teeth glinting in the sun..
But I still cannot make myself fear him.
For even in a small part he is still Edward.
An inappropriate feeling of calm floods my system; all adrenalin dissipates.
And I am once again his to do with as he pleases.
An elegant finger traces the length of my neck, and all sounds disappear except for the gentle thudding of my heart; the persistent surge of blood.
For a second Edward is in place of monster; the red eyes cloud with darkness, and a terrified expression mangles his perfect features.
"No. . .Bella. . .Not you. . . . Anyone but you. . ."
I close my eyes not wanting to see his pained expression anymore.
But I cannot stop myself from hearing it.
At first it is just Jasper's pained voice
Hold on, Please. do not go somewhere where I cannot follow. .
I almost smile at this of course he would be there, it would not be heaven if Jasper was not by my side.
"Bella, Bella. Please don't make me do this, oh god. . If I could have one wish, it would be that I never met you. . ."
Edward's words cause more pain then his body could ever inflict on me.
Tears fall as I realise that even if this is how it ends I will never regret meeting Edward Cullen.
I gently arch my neck to the side, resigned to my fate.
Finally at peace.
Images of Jasper flutter across the inside of my closed lids as I utter a silent prayer for the two great loves of my life.
They deserve better than this.
Teeth tear into the skin of my neck, as blood weeps from me, strengthening the creature that is looming over me.
Yet all I can feel is relief.