Chapter one.

Break me softly.

Buffy Summers had been best friends with William Giles, or as he liked to be called Spike, for as long as she could remember. The two had first met when Buffy was five years old. Spike and his father Rupert Giles had moved in to the house next door to her and her mother.

Joyce had only just finalized her divorce from Buffy's father Hank only weeks before the Giles' had moved in.

Giles wife Jenny had recently passed away after losing a long battle with cancer. He had been devastated by his wife's death and decided that he and William needed a fresh start. They left their home town in England and move to the states, specifically to a small town called Sunnydale.

Giles had applied for a position at the local high school and had been accepted into the position of Sunnydale highs librarian.

Joyce had asked William and Giles over for dinner the first week they had been in the states and the families had bonded instantly.

Buffy and Spike had, from day one been inseparable. Over the years their bond had grown and when the time came for high school to start, when Spike had become Mr. Popularity and Buffy had been labeled the school geek, their friendship had held true. They had still remained the best of friends.

Spike had immediately been accepted into the popular crowd and he had made it clear on day one that no one messed with Buffy. Spike wouldn't stand for it.

Not only had she been best friends with Spike for as long as she could remember but Buffy had also been in love with Spike for as long as she could remember. She wasn't going to let him in on that little secret though. It had started out as a childhood crush but as the years progressed and the older she got, the deeper her feelings grew. By the time she was seventeen, Buffy knew that her love for Spike went beyond any form of crush but of course by then, Spike had every cheerleader in the school hanging off his arm. Buffy knew she would never stand a chance up against girls like that.

Now they were in their second year at U.C Sunnydale. Buffy was studying to be an Art major and Spike was Studying to be an English teacher. After many years of having casual boyfriends Buffy was finally in her first real relationship. Her boyfriend's name was Parker Adams and they had been dating for the past 2 months. It wasn't anything serious, going no further than kissing. Parker had tried to take their relationship to the next level but Buffy just wasn't ready for that yet.

She knew it seemed strange that a nineteen year old college student still be a virgin but she just hadn't found the right guy yet. The one she wanted to share herself with. The only guy Buffy had ever even thought about sleeping with only saw her as a friend. Spike had started dating Drusilla Warner 8 months ago and had finally told Buffy how madly in love with her he was. She was the school Goth and whore, not that Buffy would ever tell Spike that last part.

Spike's love for Dru's had blinded him to her other lovers. People of course would whisper things as the couple walked past but Spike would simply say it was nothing more than ridiculous gossip. Dru loved him. She wouldn't cheat on him, she was his black goddess.

Buffy's shoulders sagged in defeat when Spike brought Dru, often resulting in a half hour rant of what an amazing girlfriend she was. If only he knew the truth.

Buffy walked slowly away from the frat party Parker had invited her to. She had at first declined his invitation, saying she couldn't make it and that she needed to study for an upcoming exam. But when she returned to her apartment that she shared with Spike for the past year to find him and Dru having an intimate dinner for two, she had dumped her books and darted out the door.

After one of the partygoers had opened the front door for her, she had been shocked beyond belief. An eighteen year old freshman was mounting and groping her boyfriend in plain view of the whole party. Buffy's heart rate sped up as she turned, exiting the party before anyone had noticed her. The whole walk home Buffy had prayed, hoping that Dru was gone by the time she arrived. She sighed in relief when she arrived out the front of her apartment building to find Dru's car gone. With a smile up to the sky, Buffy thanked whoever was out there for cutting her a break.

After taking the lift to second the floor, Buffy silently slipped down the hallway and slid her key into the lock. She could hear soft, sad music flowing though the apartment and Buffy knew something had gone wrong with Spike's plans for that evening. She walked through the dining room and found Spike sitting on the lounge room floor, sipping from a half full bottle of Jack Daniels.

"Spike," she whispered, her features softening as he glanced up at her in surprise. He obviously hadn't expected her to be home so early.

"Party no good, luv?" He inquired, brining the bottle to his lips and taking a big swig of Jack.

"Party was great," she replied, her voice laced with sarcasm. Buffy lifted her arms up and pulled her over sized sweater from her body before taking a seat on the floor beside him. "But finding my so called b 'boyfriend' /b groping another woman in plain sight of everyone was a bit of a turn off," she continued, pulling her hair out of its messy bun. Spike watched as she slipped her thick black rimmed glasses from her face, placing them on the coffee table in front of her and rubbing her eyes.

Buffy reached for the bottle of Jack in Spike's hand and brought it to her mouth, taking a huge gulp of the liquid and making a face as the liquor burned her throat.

"What?" Spike snapped, finally looking up to meet her gaze. He couldn't believe his eyes. Was the woman sitting beside him really his nerdy best friend Buffy Summers.

It might have been the half a bottle of Jack Spike had consumed that finally had opened his eyes to how utterly gorgeous Buffy really was. Her golden locks sat softly around her shoulders, shaping her face. She had removed her oversized jacket and thick black rimmed glasses and was left only wearing a skin tight and low cut red singlet top and a pair of tight black pants.

Spike took a much needed deep breath feeling himself go hard at the sight of her. Her checks where flush from her walk back to the apartment and her lips were red from the wind outside. It was obvious from the look on her face that she was upset but he couldn't help but think how amazing she looked right at this moment.

"Yeah." Buffy scoffed. "Real nice guy. huh?" She brought the bottle of Jack to her lips and took another large swig. "So…" she met his gaze. "I know why I'm drowning my sorrows but what about you? What happened tonight?"

Spike sighed, taking the bottle out of her hands when she offered it to him.

"Dru dumped me,"

"What?" Buffy's eyes widened in surprise.

"I'm as surprised as you, luv. Turns out she's been sleeping with her ex Lindsey. She's back with him now."

Buffy knew Dru's ex Lindsey, she'd met him a few times through a mutual friend, Xander. He was a nice enough guy but not exactly Mr. Monogamy. Dru had been with him for three years when he had left her for her best friend Darla. That was eight months ago. The same time Dru had started dating Spike.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. Spike smiled and shrugged.

"I'm sorry too… About Parker, I mean."

"He was a scumbag." Buffy's eyes narrowed. "I always knew it. I guess I just liked the fact that someone thought I was beautiful for once," her eyes were starting to well with tears when Spike cupped her check, meeting her eyes.

"I've always thought you were beautiful, luv."

Buffy felt her heart melt at his words, smiling up at him. She'd never seen him look at her like this before, his eyes staring into her as his hand stroked her cheek. He was moving closer to her and Buffy's heart rate sped up. When his lips came crashing down on her she through the pounding in her ears couldn't get any louder.

Her prayers had finally been answered. Spike had noticed her, seen her as more than just his geeky best friend. Spike Giles was kissing her!

Their kiss became more urgent and forceful, tongues pushing and pulling at each other. Spikes hand slipped to the back of Buffy's neck making her moan. The sound made Spike suddenly break the kiss. Shocked he rose to his feet and ran a shaky hand through his hair.

"I'm so sorry, Buffy. I shouldn't have done that," Buffy stood and met his eyes.

"You shouldn't?"

"You're upset a-about Parker and I shouldn't have taken advantage of you like that." Buffy let out a laugh, thinking that Spike had been going to say they couldn't because she was his best friend and he didn't feel that way for her.

"Is there something you find amusing, pet?"

"Do you really think for one second that I actually cared for….how would you put it…'that tosser'? That his cheating would leave me damaged and vulnerable?" Buffy walked up to Spike and stood right in front of him.

"Well I …." He didn't know what to say, she was so close, to close. Spike could feel her breath on his face, the heat radiating off of her body and knew that if he didn't put some space between them soon he was going to take her into his room and finish what they had started.

"Buffy I think that we need to…" he started but she quickly cut him off.

"Oh, shut up Spike!" Buffy bunched the front of his shirt in her hand and pulled him down to meet her lips in a forceful kiss. Spike knew he was lost the moment his lips touched hers. He knew how the night was going to end no matter how hard he fought to keep some distance between them. The years of sexual tension that had building between them had snapped and Spike wasn't going to miss his one chance of having Buffy Summers as his,

His hands cupped her bottom and helped her rise up. Her legs automatically wrapped around his waist and he didn't hesitate in making his way down the hall and into his bedroom.

They collapsed on the bed, a tangle of limbs and lips. Spike stood back and slipped off his shirt, watching Buffy slide her way to the top of the bed before slowly crawling like up the bed to meet her. Like a panther stalking it's prey.

His lips crashed down to meet hers again before they went south. Spike sprayed hot kisses down her neck, suckling on a sweet spot behind her ear earning him a few short gasps and moans from the woman beneath him. He slipped his hands under her top and lift it over her head. Spike couldn't help but admire the beauty that lay before him. Buffy wasn't wearing a bra and he watched her perk little breasts rise and fall as she took in gulps of air. She was a goddess. b"His golden goddess."/b

Her skin was silky to the touch. It was sun kissed and golden brown, flawless. Her breast were round and firm, nipples perk and begging for attention and he was more than willing to give it. He kissed his way down her neck, down her chest until his mouth reached its goal.

Spike took one rosy bug into his mouth. He nipped and sucked, loving the moans that slipped past her lips, she was so responsive to him. Her nails raked down his bare back as she thrust her hot mound into his jean covered erection.

Buffy pulled at his belt buckle, trying desperately to rid him of his pants. She smiled in triumph as the clasp came loose, swiftly pulling his jeans down his legs before slipping them off completely with aid of her feet and kicking them carelessly to the floor.

Buffy's own pants soon followed and before they knew it they were both completely naked.

Buffy could feel the tip of his cock nudging at her entrance and while she wanted to explore his whole body more than anything, she also wanted him inside her. She eagerly lifted her hips hoping he'd get the message that she wanted him inside.

Spike groaned, kissing his way up from her nipples to meet her lips one last time before he slowly sliding into her.

He groaned at the feel of how tight she was, he'd never felt anything like it, almost like she was chocking him. Buffy could feel herself being stretched and filled like she never had before.

Spike was halfway in when realisation hit. Buffy was a virgin. He was taking away her virginity.

"Oh god. Buffy…I-" he started but she was quick to stop him.

"Please, Spike. D-don't stop… Please," she begged, meeting his lips in a gentle kiss. Buffy sighed in relief when he kissed her back.

"I'm so sorry, pet" he whispered in her ear. Buffy was confused. It was moments later that she realised what he was apologizing for. With one strong thrust he broke her virginal barrier, causing Buffy to cry out in pain as she felt a lone tear slip down her check.

"I'm so sorry, luv. It'll be okay soon. I promise," he whispered lovingly into her ear.

Buffy nodding, leaning into the hand that was wiping the tear from her checks. When the pain started to ease Buffy slowly begun to move under him.

Spike felt her movement and knew that her pain had eased. Glancing down to meet her gaze he started to slowly thrust in and out of her. Buffy let out a moan at the feel of Spike finally being inside of her.

It had never been this good, this intense. Spike felt his eye's roll back at the sensation. There was no other word to describe it other than incredible.

"Oh god, you're so tight." Spike groaned, fuelling a fire that had started to burn inside of Buffy. She raked her nails down his back and gasped as his thrusting became faster.

"Oh god! Feels so good…Don't stop." Buffy could feel her orgasm nearing and rose her hips, meeting Spike thrust for thrust.

"Harder…. Faster," she moaned, Spike groaned feeling Buffy's hand cup his bottom, widening her legs and he slipped in deeper.

Was this really Buffy? His shy, little, nerdy Buffy? Who'd ever thought she'd be so vocal. So responsive.

He wasn't going to last much longer. Buffy felt too good, so tight, so wet and as hot as hell, he was sure she could just about burn him alive. Sweat dripped from his forehead onto her as he started pounding into her with force. He couldn't help but smile when he felt her inner walls flutter around him as her orgasm started to wash over her.

"Spike!"

Buffy gasped out, her walls clamping around him like a vice grip. With a few more thrusts he quickly fell over the edge with her, groaning her name in his release.

Buffy's eyes fluttered open as sunlight streamed through a gap in the curtains. She reached for the other side of the bed and knew immediately that she was alone. She had finally slept with Spike, her best friend and he wasn't there. Gripping the sheet to her naked chest she sat up, running a hand through her tousled hair. Images and flashes of their entwined bodies flooded her mind and Buffy had to shake the images away.

b'You have amazing sex with the person you've been lusting over for years and where is he? Not here.'/b Buffy thought, slipping from the bed. Her clothes were strewn across the floor and Spike's were nowhere to be seen.

"Nota good sign,"she whispered, pulling on her pants from the night before. Spike entered the room just as she was putting the last of her clothes on.

"Hey," he smiled, handing her a mug of coffee which she eagerly took. Unsure of what to say or do she settled for sipping the warm liquid.

"I thought I'd make us some coffee…" Spike trailed off.

"Thanks."

"Listen…C-can we talk about what happened last night?" Spike asked nervously, taking a seat on his bed. The bed they'd had sex in.

"Sure," she replied joining him. Buffy knew by the sounds of his voice that the conversation wasn't going to end well. Her heart beat sped up and glancing up at his face Buffy felt her eyes start to well with tears. She broke his gaze, not letting him see that he was having an effect on her. She had to be strong.

"I don't even know where to start…. You've been my best friend for as long as I can remember and I don't want to lose that, but what we did w…."

Buffy couldn't bear to hear him say it. To hear the words b "It was a mistake" /bcome out of his mouth was going to crush her.

"It was a mistake," she said quickly before he could get another word out.

"You think so too?" Buffy's eyes saddened at the relieved look that washed over his face. She felt her heart shatter into a thousand pieces. This was the man she loved and in a way he had used her. Refusing to let him see her upset and not to be humiliated, she put on a brave face.

"Absolutely," she smiled sadly, not letting Spike see the real hurt behind her features,

"Oh thank God. I was so worried that this would end badly and I'd lose you."

"You'll never lose me," Buffy smiled, knowing she wasn't going to be able to keep up the act of best friend before it became to much to bear. Pushing that thought to the back of her mind, she tried to deal with what was happening now.

"We were both hurting…w-we had to much to drink and it happened. But as long as we both know it was a one off thing we'll be fine." Buffy said, sounding more like she was trying to convince herself. She'd had two sips of Jack Daniels, barley enough to warm her blood let alone get her drunk.

"Exactly! I feel so much better, pet."

b "I'm glad one of us does," /bshe thought.

"Right….Well I'm heading off. I'm meeting Dru for breakfast." Spike said standing as he slipped his jacket on. Buffy's head shot up at what he'd just said.

"Dru? I thought you guys broke up?"

"She showed up this morning saying it was over between her and Lindsey and that she loved me," he smiled.

"Y…you took her back?" Buffy asked, dumbfounded.

"I love her."

Buffy felt her heart break into pieces again.

"We'll talk more tonight, pet." Spike said, walking out the bedroom door. Buffy waited for the front door to click closed before she allowed the tears to fall. Her whole body shook violently as she curled into a ball on the same bed that she and Spike had made love on. She'd made love to the one man she'd loved completely, heart and soul. She'd made love to the man who loved someone else.