Nyah, one short, stubbly chapter and already some alerty things!!

A/N: XD Hello! And Welcome to the (official) beginning of this fanfiction "War" as I have so cleverly deemed it. Prepare yourself for a wild, and hopefully enjoyable ride! In reading the little "preview" ~part 1. War ~ the handcuffs were off, well – now they're ON and ready for action. Hopefully you all know what I'm talking about. If not, please take your little hunky-dorey self and go read/watch Death Note somewhere until you do!! Warning: I am completely out of my mind right now so...yeah – insanity! *does a very crooked cartwheel* :3 It's nice to meetcha and I can't wait to get started! La dee dah dee dah!!!! ;D I'm eating ice cream!!! D Yaaay for yaoi pairings! L 3 Light!! I combined japanese honorifics with english ones, so there. Don't fuss at me, please. Death Note doesn't belong to me, nor do the characters of Death Note. DN belongs to Tsugumi Ohba (is that right?) and Viz Media. Please don't sue me. :'( Btw, the way I'll be titling chapters with 'in which' and 'which' at the beginning is a method that belongs originally to the notorious Diana Wynne Jones. I adore her work sooo much. ;D

*Which Introduces Some Issues*

Light frowned noticeably as Ryuuzaki snapped the handcuff onto his wrist. This is definitely a drawback, he thought unhappily. I never thought I'd end up chained to Ryuuzaki to prove my innocence.

"You don't mind do you?" L asked. "You realize that this is the only way – no – the best way to convince me that you are not Kira."

"Yeah, I know, Ryuuzaki." Light rolled his eyes. L was such a know-it-all.

"Good," L smiled. "Though I'll be honest with you, I can't say that I'm happy about this." He held up his wrist and stared at the metal cuff and chain dangling from it. He smiled dropped. "It will be quite inconvenient."

"I'm inclined to agree," Light said with a nod, thinking, Oh God, this is horrible.

"Let's go back to the main office. I want to do something worthwhile before the sun sets."

Not that you ever sleep, Light thought agitatedly, saying, "Yeah, sure. Same here."

They walked in a companionable quiet all the way back to the main office, L slouching with his hands tucked into his pockets, and Light walking next to him with a natural air of superiority.

He's so filthy, Light thought irritatedly. And look at the way he slouches. I'll never understand how someone like that became the best three detectives in the world.

L's thoughts were equally irritated. I'm fairly certain that I had some gummy bears stashed in my right pocket. Where on earth could they have gone? He turned a small glare on his companion. Knowing Light, he probably stole them, seeing as he must be – and he is – most definitely Kira. He came to stare at his own feet. Which is really unfortunate, because I can't help but feel that in revealing him, I'll be betraying my only friend.

They came into the main office and their team greeted them enthusiastically. Matsuda was especially animated in his greeting, making Light roll his eyes. L ignored the useless man altogether, though his antics were rather amusing sometimes – and stupid.

L found his way to an empty chair and froze. Sitting on the desk in front of the chair was a bag of unopened consumme chips. He gulped and snatched his eyes in Light's direction, who was standing beside him.

The teen was smirking darkly.

L frowned. This sort of behavior was exactly what had led him to believe that Light Yagami was Kira, the "savior", of the world, but he couldn't tell him that or Light would most likely cease to act suspicious at all, and that just would not do. Someone had to keep L's mind occupied after all, and he dearly wanted to be spared the embarrassment of having to admit that Light couldn't be Kira – again. He dug a tooth into his lip. Light is Kira. Yes, he is but... L frowned deeply as Light sat down in the chair next to his, snatched the bag of chips, and tore into them gluttonously.

L sighed. "You're so childish, Light-kun."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Mr. Yagami, Light's father said as he came up behind the two. He glared at L, who climbed onto his chair, sitting in his usual, odd way.

"Nothing at all, Yagami-san," L replied flatly. "I just pointed out that Light-kun's eating habits are rather unaccomplished."

"You said he was childish."

L sighed again. Would it never cease? Yagami, chief of police, was without doubt a great leader and father, but couldn't the man keep his poor analyzations of L's observations of Light to himself?

L turned his huge, dark eyes up at the chief's face. "What is your point, Yagami-san?

"Well, haven't you occasionally remarked that Kira was childish?"

"Yes, and he hates to lose," L reminded with a small nod. "But what's your point, Yagami-san?"

"The point, Ryuuzaki, is that you're indirectly accusing me of being Kira again."

L turned in his chair and smiled sweetly at Light, who had his arms crossed. The teen's brown eyes shone with such innocence that it distracted L for a second. A small ball of hope formed in his chest, until he detected a faint, sarcastic gleam behind the ignorance. The ball imploded, then disappeared.

L wanted to sigh again.

He said swiftly, "I know, which is why I dared question your father's inquiry, Light-kun. The answer was so utterly obvious that I assumed he meant its usage in a way that was not insinuating your being Kira. If he was asking me if I meant that I thought you were Kira, then he should have just said so. That I do is apparent."

"Ryuuzaki," Light said with a glower, "you won't give up on that, will you?"

"Until explicit proof is presented that Light-kun is indeed not Kira, I will continue to believe that he is – or at least that he was."

Light looked back at his computer screen. "Whatever, Ryuuzaki." Infuriating old fart.

L stared at Yagami-san's retreating back despairingly, completely unaware of Light's negative assimilation of his attitude.. Sorry... the detective thought, slumping further. He couldn't deny that Light's personage had changed drastically since the end of his confinement. This Light was rather fun compared to the pre-confined one. Then again, the previous Light-kun was far more impeccable, not to mention challenging.

Directing his attention to the closest computer screen, L leaned forward and sent a quick e-mail to Watari. It read: W, do you know the current location of my gummies?

Moments later, a return reply read: Our video footage caught Matsuda swiping them nearly an hour ago. I checked. ;)

L typed: How irritating. Please, get me some more? And bring me some consumme chips? Light liberated me of the ones you left here earlier. Matter-of-fact, bring him a bag, too.

The reply: Of course, Ryuuzaki. Are you still going on about those chips? Would you also like me to dump a container of salt into his bag?

L blinked. Watari could be rather evil sometimes. Certainly, but be sure to reseal the bag, or else I'll never hear the end of it. And yes, I'm still going on about it. His reaction was rather interesting. He declared war on me over a bag of chips. I'm beginning to suspect that that particular brand causes people to self-expose Kira-like characteristics.

The reply: You're over analyzing again, Ryuuzaki.

Nonsense. I'm being sarcastic, was L's reply. Pleeease bring me something to eat now.

In a few minutes.

L smiled and begun his work, filing quickly through the online collection of Kira related information. Watari brought his gummies, which he enjoyed thoroughly. Hours passed. The team slowly filed off to bed. Light slumped in the chair next to L's.

"I'm tired, Ryuuzaki."

L's head yanked up and towards Light. "Already?" he asked incredulously. "Light-kun lacks the stamina required of a good detective. Here, have a gummy. It will help."

"I don't want your damn candy, Ryuuzaki." Light said, running a hand through his perfectly groomed brown hair. L watched the gesture and bit back an amused smirk. What a pampered brat.

"Then have some chips, and I'll have Watari bring coffee." L passed the bag of chips to Light, who sighed and stared at it exhaustedly. He layed the bag to one side.

"I don't want any." Light stood up and yanked L out of the chair. "Come on. Where do we sleep?"

L submitted and led the way to his own room. They had to take the elevator. As some oddly accentuated music poured out of the elevator's speakers and it creeped towards the top of the building, Light asked, "What are the sleeping arrangements, Ryuuzaki? Surely we don't have to sleep with each other."

"Of course we do," L stated, stifling a yawn. "You knew the inconveniences of this from the start, Light-kun. If you're worried about discomfort, I'll have you know that I'm a very quiet sleeper."

"I'm not," Light muttered under his breath.

A bell chimed, echoed. The doors slid open, and they stepped onto L's floor. There was blue carpet, drawn curtains, large plushy furniture, and snacks laying on ever surface. Candy wrappers littered the floor.

Light nudged a half eaten donut to one side with his shoe. He turned and caught L staring at him.

"What? Did you think I'd be surprised?"

"No," L admitted, "but repulsed."

"I am," Light said. "I'm just too tired to complain right now."

"This way then. Please refrain from turning any lights on."

Not questioning this, Light followed L into a brighter room. He stared at the huge window on one side of the room, where the moon's light was shining through. Then he redirected his eyes to the enormous bed pressed against the opposite wall and grimaced. It was covered in a fortitude of discarded candy wrappers.

L drug him over to it and proceeded to scratch his head. "I rarely sleep in here," he commented dryly, sweeping a pile of old wrappers onto the floor.

"Hmm," L said, and drew up the blue comforter buried under the mess. He flung it up once, forcefully, and then let it settle with a soft smile. "See, that's better," he said, turning to Light.

His friend was sporting several wrappers on his head and shirt. L covered his mouth with a hand, barely resisting the urge to laugh.

"Ryuuzaki," Light said tiredly. "I want to sleep."

"Of course, of course," L responded quickly. He crawled onto the bed and snuggled beneath the comforter. Light rolled his eyes, not failing to notice that L slept in the same clothes that he wore every day, and sat down on his side. He slipped off his shoes and socks, then tossed off his shirt. Lastly he slipped off his khakis and let them drop on the floor. He then slipped onto the bed next to L. He wasn't aware that for the entirety of the time he had spent undressing, L had stared at him with wide, studious eyes from behind.

Light closed his eyes contently, when he heard it.

Ryuuzaki giggled.


"What. The. Hell." Light turned on his side to stare at L. He finished in a flourish, "...is wrong with you?"

"Nothing, it's just that I wasn't aware of Light-kun's fondness for bunny-patterned boxers."

"Well, at least I don't sleep in the same clothes that I wear every single day."

L shrugged against his pillow. "It's more convenient this way."

"Whatever," Light turned away. He then felt something warm pressing against his bare back. He lurched into a sitting position.

"Ryuuzaki!?!" he snapped, flustered. "What the hell are you doing?"

"I said I was a quiet sleeper, Light-kun," L said, curling up against the whiteness of the bedsheets. "I did not imply that I was a still one. Also, I like to cuddle, and it's cold in here."

"Well, go cuddle somewhere else!"

L sighed for the ten thousandth time and rolled away. "Fine."

Light cautiously settled back against the mattress. He waited an hour, saw that Ryuuzaki was asleep, and finally allowed himself to fall prey to his exhaustion....

Hours later, L awoke to the sound of what he thought was a freight train. ...or perhaps a helicopter is flying over, he thought grudgingly. He sat up and rubbed his eyes. It was still dark out. The horrendous sound was coming from beside him. Wary, he found the source with his eyes and scowled.

Insistently, he shook Light's shoulder. "Light-kun?"

"Ungh," was the noncommittal reply.

"Light-kun!" L slapped the boy's shoulder.

The teenager twitched. "Uuuungha."

"What is ungha?! You are snoring, Light-kun! Loudly, too!" L bit back an offended squeal as Light scooted forward and pressed his face into L's side. At least the snoring ceased.

"Ummmf!" Light declared with finality, wrapping his arms around the detective's middle. L scowled and reached forward, trying to pry Light from his person, however unsuccessfully. He thought frantically, Oh hell! This is all being recorded by the indoor cameras!

Half an hour passed and L was still unsuccessful in freeing himself from Light's grasp. Sighing defeatedly, he twisted around and layed back against his bed...and Light's arm. He wiggled a bit, and the teen slid it out from under him. Thank heaven for that!

L frowned. "I want some candy."

"Now is not the time, Ryuu-chan," Light whispered against L's side. "You are with me now."

L's face contorted, wondering if Light was always going to act this way while they slept together. Ugh, that thought was full of detestable implications. He hadn't thought Light swung that way. After all, he had Misa....the deplorable girl.

"Hmm," L said aloud. Assuming that Light did swing a little of base (after all, he was so fussy about his appearance) couldn't L use that to his advantage? He gulped. Seducing other males wasn't really his thing, but what did he really have to lose? In a moment of...passion (L blushed furiously) Light might reveal his deepest, darkest secrets to an obliging ear.

No, no, no. This was a horrible idea. However, L couldn't deny the appeal of teasing Light so bluntly. Really, he would get the most hilarious reactions out of him. But the cameras...yes. He would have to do something about those. A secret feed perhaps? One that only he knew about. Perhaps he would direct Watari to set his own cameras on a private line...

L smirked marginally. This is an excellent plan, he easily concluded. Fun, educational, and entertaining. There's only one problem...how does one go about seducing another male?

L studied Light by moonlight.

"Light-kun," L purred (really it sounded more like a growl), "you have such lovely hair. May I touch it?"


L obligingly ran a pale hand through Light's perfectly arrayed hair. He felt the heat rise in his face. Oh, this is not going to be easy. It's rather embarrassing.

He felt something warm and wet pressing against his bare skin. Somehow, in all of their shifting around, L's shirt managed to get lodged up around his arms. He was bare from neck to waist...and Light was sucking insistently on his right side.

L resisted the urge to moan. "Bad plan, bad plan, bad plan," he repeated over and over again. "Light-kun, stop it!" he pleaded, but Light smiled against his side and sucked more insistently.

"Gah!" Forcefully, and with a burst of embarrassed energy, L flung Light off of the bed. Luckily, the teen didn't get far. He fell right next to the bed, still close enough so that L didn't go flying with him. {A/N: handcuffs, remember?!}

Light groggily looked up at L. "L," he said, forgetting to call him Ryuuzaki. "Why the hell am I on the floor?"

L flung his arms up dramatically before collapsing back on the mattress. "You sleep down there!" he cried.


L rolled over and pulled a pillow over his head. Seduction was a bad plan! He thought with alarm. Light was right when I stole his chips the other day. This is a war, and I am not about to lose it for his untowardly tendencies, even if it was my idea! He took it too far!


"Go to sleep, dammit!" L yelled.

Meanwhile, in his office on a different floor, Watari chuckled amusedly as he watched the camera footage from L's room. Well, those two are getting along swimmingly, he thought. Rather odd though. I never expected that L was...well. Like that. I wonder how this will pan out.

.Chapter End.

A/N: A terrible ending for that chapter – not even a cliffhanger! Ugh, I am ashamed!!!! ;( -winky, frowny face???- From a single drabble to a horribly disturbing fanfiction. Am I out of my mind? Yep, I suppose so. Who knew that Watari was a peeping perv? I didn't o.o. My writing of L seems to be lacking in smartness – er, I mean intelligence. I can use big words sometimes.

Anywho, I do NOT usually write yaoi, but yum yum man-on-man action!! And licky scenes. Poooor Lawliet. I less than three you, you huggly, dirty man! Mmm, which just gave me this idea. If for some dumb reason Light and L ever had to communicate via formal note rather than talking, I'd imagine their letters would go something like this:

Dear L,

Please shower.

Sincerely, Light.


Dearest Light,


Love, Ryuuzaki.

P.S. - *man glomp*

See you guys next chapter!! Please R & R! 3