Yes, yes...I know I should have at least updated my other stories but these annoying little idea faeries (Is that how yyou spell it?) keeps on telling me story ideas!!! And if you think that's bad, these faeries told me that if I don't write the story, they will torture my mind with censored thoughts!!! NO MY VIRGIN MIND!!! (Enters feeble position)
So just tell me what you think about this idea, and if I get over 5 reviews saying it was good, I'll continue it. Oh, and this chapter is fairly shorter than my other chapters because this is only the Intro to the whole story. Don't worry, the next few chapters will be longer! (I don't know why I promised that, I hate it when people promise that.)
Now it's...DISCLAIMER TIME!
Me: Sakura if you would please.
Sakura: Do what?
Me: You know what.
Sakura: I do?
Me: Yeah you do.
Sakura: ...So what is it?
Me: Don't 'what is it' me!
Sakura: But I don't know!
Me: The hell you don't know! Just do it!
Sakura: I don't like that tone of voice...(Folds arms) Hmp! I'm not doing anything for you!
Ino: Yes m'am!
Me: (Smirks evily at Sakura) Ino-chan, since Billboard Brow won't do it, would you be so kind to do so? (Sakura overhears) I mean, you are better than her. (Continues smirking.)
Ino: YES! (Turns to audience) Inkaide—.
Sakura: (Rams into Ino) Move over PIG!
Ino: (Returnes the push) Inkaide-sama asked ME to do it!
(Ino and Sakura continues pushing each other.)
Ino/Sakura: Inkaide does NOT own Naruto, Kishimoto-sama does! Otherwise, Inkaide wouln't have made me and Billboard Brow/Pig do these stupid stuff!
Remember to check my other stories!
'Blah.' Inner Sakura, Naruto's Demon, and Gaara's Demon.
"Blah." Dark Zetsu.
Blah. Intro to segments and Flashbacks.
Thanks to Thirrin-chan for giving me the idea of the usage of the brilliant, 'blahs'.
In the Hokage's tower
"Tsunade-sama!" A desperate voice shouted out followed by quick, clumsy footsteps that approached the room, where the Hokage was in. The caller of the Slug Princess was no other than Shizune, Tsunade's top loyalist. Shizune was now standing in front of the door of the room, pounding on the door like mad.
"Tsunade-sama! Tsunade-sama! Can you hear me? Tsunade-sama!" A grunt came from behind the door, resembling the fiery Hokage. Shizune was deeply stressed out now. She started pounding on the door even more harder, wanting her boss to at least realize how desperate she was.
Tsunade snorted at her annoying comrade. But she was definatly getting more and more annoyed at Shizune because she yelled out, 'Tsunade-sama!' every quarter of a second. She started sipping her sake.
'I guess I should tell her to come in now...' Tsunade took another sip of her sake. 'Or maybe I should just open the door for her, I wonder if she'll be surprised.'
Following what she said, the blond walked slowly towards the door, hearing the screams becoming louder. Tsunade wobbled a bit, because of the overly-drank sake. But she made it to the door without falling.
"TSUNADE-SAMA! Open the door right now!" Again, Shizune pounded even harder. But this time, she added kicking as well.
As the half-way drunk woman opened the door, shaking, she forgot that Shizune was still pounding on the door... with her eyes closed. Without noticing, Shizune ended up pounding Tsunade in the face and kicking her in the shin. Just her luck too, because that's just when Shizune decided to deliver a massive punch. And you want to know where it landed? Right between Tsunade's precious domes. But the good news is, because her...domes...were there, it cushioned the blow.
At least the punch woke the Slug Sage up from her drunkness.
Shizune opened her eyes because she noticed something different from the texture of the thing under her hands. Instead of the hard, cold, wooden door, she recieved something squishier. (A/N: Okay, I'm getting disturbed by this...lets move on.)
Shizune gave a huge O.O look at Tsunade and in a uber fast movement to take her hands out of her womanhood. Tsunade cranked her head slowly to look at her accompliance. "Shizune...just what were you doing?"
With Shizune and Tsunade 30 minutes after
After around 30 minutes of Tsunade chasing a sorry Shizune with a bottle of sake, who was only trying to explain what happened, or occasionaly dodging the blows, Tsunade finally calmed down a bit, to listen to what Shizune had to say.
"T-tsunad-de...s-sam-ma..." Huffed Shizune in a very exhausted voice. "I-it's-s a-all... a misunders...standing..."
Tsunade snorted again, but said nothing.
"You see...m-my eyes w-were closed...and...and...y-you came...and—"
Tsunade inturrupted rudely, "Yeah, yeah, I got that, but why did you come see me in the first place?"
Shizune smiled a bit at the fact that her master didn't still think she was a pervert. Then she got serious again when she remembered why she came in the first place. "Oh ya...Tsunade-sama!" Here she goes again..."Tsunade-sama! Tsunade-sama! Tsunade-sama! Tsuna—"
"SHUT UP! Just get on with it!" Bellowed the definatly annoyed Hokage.
Shizune stopped chanting, 'Tsunade-sama!' and got on with the problem.
"Well, there's this problem that Tanzou (A/N: You guys all know who Tanzou is right? If not, tell me in a review and I'll tell you) delivered to the Council! It turned out that Konoha is in an money crisis situation! We are really out of money because of how much we used to fix the buildings that Orochimaru and Akatsuki destoyed! Our citizens could all DIE if this continues!" Shizune gave a desperate look over to Tsunade. However, Tsunade just stared blankly at her former apprentice.
"Eto...I was kinda hoping for you to say something." Shizune sighed when she got another silent treatment. But then an idea hit her like Sakura hitting Naruto, "If we let this happen, there will be no more money left to gamble with," Tsunade's eyes widened, "And no more money to make or buy sake!" This time, Tsunade heard.
"What?! Why didn't you tell me sooner?! We have to do something!" Shizune sweatdropped at her sensei.
Just then, a messenger bird flew in through the window, and landed on Tsunade's desk. Just after it made a poopie.
"Huh? A messenger? From..." Shizune looked at the back of the bird to find a symbol attached to it. "...Tanzou?" She immediatly reached for the note secured tightly with one dollar string and opened it up. It read...
To our honourable Hokage,
I believe Shizune-san has informed you about Konoha's money crisis.
Fear not, I have a simple solution that can benefit us all.
I'm good friends with the head of the Ninja T.V. stations and he informed me that
if he gets ninja from all over the Five Great Nations to enter into the T.V. programs, and make his shows more popular by 10 fold,
he will pay us ¥10,000,000 (app. $130,000) every month.
I wish, but it is up to you, to send Team Kakashi, Former Team 8, Former Team 10, and Team Gai to be the ones who enters the shows.
P.S. You owe me a donut.
Shizune shook her head in dismay at Tanzou's idea. Of course it was a bad idea! I mean, who would send their best ninja, into a television, just after an invasion? Yes, getting ¥1,000,000 every month is wonderful, but really! 'But, what am I worrying about? Of course, Tsunade-sama wouldn't agree! She is the best and the smartest of all of us! Not to mention caring! Sorta.' Shizune nodded inwardly towards her logic. 'Yes, definatly! Tsunade-sama will not agree!'
Just to confirm, Shizune glances at her master. Then she gave a broad smile.
'Ha! What did I day? She's frozen, she's shocked, she's...smiling?' Shizune noticed that Tsunade wasn't at all mad at Tanzou, it looked more like she was quite...glad.
Shizune mentally smacked herself in the forehead, for falling for such behaviour.
'Gah! Of COURSE she's gonna accept! Her three favourite things are 1. Sake 2. Gambling 3. Solving a problem by using others to solve said problems.' Shizune sighed, 'But I must try to convince her...'
Shizune began, by clasping her hands together, doing so beside her shoulders, in a sheepishly sort of manner. "Ja...T-Tsunade-sama...I was hoping that—"
"No Shizune, I'm sticking with this idea. Unless..." Tsunade shot her a deathening glare. "...You want to betray Konoha and get kicked out of Konoha as a traitor...?"
Her apprentice froze in her position while twitching her left eye. "N-no...I was just going to say that it was a...spendid...idea." She said hurringly after she shook her head 1,000 times a second.
In response, Tsunade smiled as if nothing of the sort happened and commanded, "Hn. That's what I thought you said. Shizune!"
"H-hai!" Right away, Shizune hunched her shoulders, trying to stand straight while her arms were right beside her.
"Go get...Team Kakashi, Team Kurenai, Team Asuma, and Team Gai...And while you're at it, bring me half a dozen of sake along with a T.V."
Shizune was surprised at her command of the T.V. but she wasn't about to risk her life, questioning her. With that, she darted right out of the room in search of the four teams.
With Sakura, Naruto, Sasuke, and Kakashi. (It's going to be before the Shippuuden, when Sasuke isn't a Bastard. Scratch that, when Sasuke is less of a Bastard.)
Naruto shrieked while running up to his love, Sakura.
Team 7 had just finished their training with their oh-so-lovable-and-caring sensei, Kakashi. Their training was replacement jutsus and chakra control. However, they only managed to train half the chakra control part and not even begin on the replacement jutsu's because Kakashi...was running late...or should I say, 'exploring the beauty of life.'Tch, the hell with that.
Sakura didn't hear because she was too busy thinking of a tactic to use on Sasuke. For what? For asking him to go on a date after Kakashi leaves.
"S-A-K-U-R-A-CHYAAAAN!" Again, Naruto used a voice that was waaaay above outside voice. Honestly, how can he be a ninja when he goes shrieking like that every so often? The enemy ninja will just find out where he is, and eliminate him and/or his whole team. Maybe that's why nobody wants to be on a team with him...Huh.
This time, Sakura heard.
"What is it Naruto?" She asked, clearly not wanting to.
Naruto grinned a large grin and scratched his head sheepishly. "Uh...I was wondering...if you...want to go...on a date?"
Sakura took him by surprise by saying, "Ya, I want to go on a date...with Sasuke-kun."
There goes Naruto falling head first on the ground.
Just then, a cloud appeared followed by a poof. And out comes Shizune, not the real Shizune, a clone.
"Sakura! Sasuke! Kakashi-sensei! Na—" She glanced at the almost crushed Naruto, "—ruto...?" But she ignored it.
"Tsunade-sama wants you to meet in the Hokage's Tower (A/N: Is that what it's called?) for an urgent meeting!"
Sasuke was actually listening and asked, "What's it about?"
Shizune paused trying very hard to think of something. She didn't know that they would actually ask her what the meeting was about.
"I-its a meeting...about...favourite colours!" Shizune mentally slapped herself in the forehead. "Yes! A meeting that Tsunade wants to discuss with you about your favourite colours!"
Kakashi raised a brow, not convinced. But what does he care about it? All matters is that he would have some time to bond with his team-mates. The hell with that, all matters is that the sooner he gets this over with, the sooner he could read some porn.
"Let's go guys." Kakashi spoke calmly, ignoring the 'What the fuck' looks they gave him.
With Hinata, Kiba, Shino, and Kurenai
"Hinata, you're doing great!" Kurenai praised when her student managed to detect the genjutsu and release it while blocking 10 senbons thrown at her.
Hinata smiled a 'thank you' but it only lasted a secong when 10 more senbons came.
While Kurenai and Hinata were sparring, Kiba and Shino were sparring too.
"Jujin Bunshin!" Kiba called out once more while Akamaru transformed into a second Kiba. Dodging Shino's 'Kikaichu no Jutsu', Kiba prefomed another attack. "Gatsuga!"
This time, him and his clone turned into spinning torpedos, rammaging around, trying to aim at Shino.
It attacked Shino with a bulls eye. But then, a poof came, and the Shino that got pummled turned into millions of insects.
It took only a second for Kiba to catch on, then he swore under his breath. "Tch, another Mushi Bunshin..."
Kiba franticly looked around him, trying to find the real Shino. No luck.
"Damn it! Where the hell is he?!"
That's when he spot him...sitting behind a oak tree, watching Hinata's fight, and...eating bento.
Kiba screamed by the fact that Shino had been playing with him this whole time. Not to mention the fact that Shino had been lazying around while Kiba was almost running out of chakra.
He marched up to him and grabbed his collar and gave him many good shakings. "What the hell! Why weren't you fighting with me?!" Shino only let out a breath and answered in his totally creepy voice. "I was...until I got bored of you so I did a Mushi Bunshin no Justu behind a rock and the real me did a replacement justu while the fake me came out and battled you. Too bad you didn't notice until now."
Kiba exploded in anger and embarrassment. He was about to give Shino a good few poundings until Kurenai grabbed him by the arms.
"Let me go! Let me at 'im! Let Me At 'Im!"
Kiba bit Kurenai in the arm and darted towards Shino, who was only gazing at the scene.
"No, Kiba-kun!" Hinata warned.
Out of no where, Shizune poofed...right in front of Shino.
Shizune got pounded by surprise and dissappeared, leaving only a note, fluttering down and landing in Kiba's face. Then he started waving his arms around, trying to get out of the 'blindness'.
"Gah! Shino blinded me! Help me! Help me! Oh the agony! I'm sorry Mommy!"
Then Kurenai took the note from Kiba's face. Kiba was still shounting in agony but opened his eyes later.
Poor, poor Kiba. The kid can only take so much embarrassment in one day.
With Ino, Shikamaru, Chouji, and Asuma
As usual, after their mission success, Asuma treated the three to the Barbecue Place (A/N: No idea what's it called).
And, as usual, Chouji ate 7/8 of all of the food.
"God Chouji! That was mine! I cooked it for myself!" shouted Ino in Shikamaru's ears.
Chouji only had one excuse. "That was the last meat. Remember, the first and the last pieces of food are the most sacred and we must savour the benifits of food."
"Ugh!" Ino complained annoyingly. "I only had 2 slices! Even though I'm on a diet, I deserve more for almost starving myself to death!"
"Now, now, there's no need for fighting, I'll buy us some more." Asuma offered kindly. When he opened his wallet, and dumped the remaining money in his hand, only ¥2 (app. $0.03) came out. Now Asuma's the one to burst in tears.
"No, no! My money! I wanted to save at least ¥2,000 (app. $23.00) to buy some roses for Kurena—" He caught the evil little smirks from his team-mates. "I mean, kunais! Yes!" Bad, bad liar.
Ino could use this to her advantage. "Oh? ¥2,000 for a few kunais? How many are you going to buy? 1,000? Come on Asuma-sensei, we all know about you and Kurenai-sensei..." Ino twirled her pinky around in the air.
Now Asuma flushed tomato red and tried thinking of another excuse. But after a few minutes of thinking up nothing, he let out a large sigh.
"You got me." Asuma began, "Hey, you kids know a thing or two about love right? Do you think you can give your sensei some tips?"
Ino and Chouji and even Shikamaru smiled. "Oh ya," They said all together, "We'll help ya."
"Help with what?"
That question out of nowhere surprised all of them. They turned their heads towards the sound. It was Shizune.
Ino started to explain, "We were all going to help Asuma-sensei about—" But Shikamaru cuffed her mouth and whispered in her ear, "Shut up! This is a secret."
Ino gasped in knowledgement and tried to think up a good excuse. "I meant, we were all going to help Asuma-sensei about his money problem. Yes! That's it! We are working up plans on how he can earn some money."
Shizune grinned. "Well I have just the solution! Do you want to earn ¥10,000,000 a month?" Ino and Chouji's jaw dropped to the floor. "That's the response I wanted! Tsunade-sama has just the plan so go to her Tower now!"
Before Shikamaru could say anything, Ino grabbed him by the collar and dragged him across the floor, towards the Tower leaving Asuma and Chouji to follow slowly behind.
With Tenten, Neji, Lee, and Gai
"Eek!" Shrieked Tenten when another leech crawled up her ankle. "Kya! Stupid leeches!"
Neji closed his eyes, twitching when the same thing happened to him. "I agree. Why did we end up with a D-rank mission Gai-sensei? I though those were only for Genin."
Gai turned around and put his arms on his waist. (A/N: I wasn't about to say 'hip'.) "Don't you complain! We must never be beaten by any sort of problem!" Gai then flashed his 'good guy' pose and did a quick thumbs up. "Youth must live on!"
Lee's eyes sparkled with admiration. "Oh! Gai-sensei! That was so youthful!" Out of nowhere, he took out a notepad and pen, and started scribbling down who-knows-what.
"Heh, that's right Lee." Gai patted his student on the shoulder. "One day, you'll be just as youthful as I."
Lee sprang into Gai's arms. "Gai-sensei!"
Gai returned the hug. "Lee!"
Then they randomly held hands and skipped into the sunset...When the hell did a sunset come into this picture?
While the two look-a-likes had their 'moment', Tenten and Neji sighed and shook their heads. God. How they wished they were in a different team. But, what could they do? After all, it wasn't that bad, they did need a little entertainment in their lives.
Then a poof startled them.
"Shizune-san? What are you doing here?" Tenten asked in curiousity. "Hn." Neji added.
Shizune grinned a large grin. "I bet you're looking for some entertainment in your lives?"
Tenten and Neji looked at each other, then back at Shizune. "Well, if you go to the Hokage Tower, you'll find plenty of entertainment! No, not from paperwork," Shizune corrected, knowing what they were thinking, "Something that Tsunade-sama has in plan for you."
'Meh, good enough for me...' Neji and Tenten both thought at the same time.
"By the way..." Shizune looked at Neji while pointing at the two bowl-heads. "What up with the two?"
Tenten shook her head. "There's something wrong with them." Neji sighed, "Just pretend they're not there."
"Oh. Okay." Shizune poofed away.
Neji began walking out of the creek, towards the tower. Tenten looked back at her other idiotic team-mates. "Come on you two! There's a lot of records that need to be broken at the Hokage Tower!"
Well, that worked.
With Shizune and Tsunade
"I'm glad you'll all here!" Tsunade's voice boomed in the room. "I bet you're wondering why I summoned you here! To—"
"To not be embarrassed!"
"Eat more bento."
"Recieve love tips!"
Tsunade then gave them a 'Holy' look and turned to Shizune. "Eh heh heh heh heh heh...I'll be going now!" Bye bye Shizune!
"Uh, no. I just wanted to take a group photo of all of you."
Well that was disappointing.
Tsunade got up and waved for them to follow her. "This way."
In the Photo Room (Actually, a portal to the T.V. room)
"A little more to your left...More to the right..." Instructed Tsunade, smirking evily inside. "Perfect." Then, she pulled a lever on her right. "Have a safe trip!"
"Huh?" Then whole group said out loud. "What's going—AHH!" Down they fell, 12 genin, 4 sensei's and 1 dog.
"Hope you bring me lots of money!" Called out Tsunade happily.
With the whole group
Round and round they fell, pushing and shoving each other away for their own benefit. The portal they were in was a mixture of all the colours of the rainbow, flying past them and out of their sight.
"Are we still falling.?!" Shouted Naruto screaming for mercy.
Guess not. They just landed onto a ground full of...pebbles?
As the group recovered, the senseis looked around them, trying to figure out what was wrong. "Be careful. The enemy could be anywhere..."
But it didn't look like an enemy ground. They seemed to be in water...but...still able to breath. The sky didn't look like clouds, more like flowers. And...they were standing...in front of...A PINEAPPLE?!? Beside it, was a stone pokerface, and inside, came an squeaky clarinet sound. And beside that house, was a rock. A plain rock.
"Okay, where are we?!" Complained Ino shaking Shikamaru again and again. "Troublesome woman..."
That's when they met them...A...starfish...and a...sponge? Okay, what the hell?
The group took out kunais and prepared for battle. You can't judge creatures by their looks. They could always be tough. I mean, look at bushy-brows!
However, the starfish and the sponge didn't look scared. As they approached them they giggled.
"Hey Patrick! What are these bizarre creatures doing here?" The sponge questioned his partner, 'Patrick'.
"I dunno Spongebob, they look funny to me. I wonder if their edible..." Patrick took out a salt shaker and salted Neji's arm. He leaned forward to bite it.
Neji automaticly kicked Patrick away, flying.
Asuma took the sponge by the neck while the other adults cornered him. "Tell us where we are, or be there will dire consequences."
"Okay okay pushy!" Spongebob squinted. "You're in Bikini Bottom, the nicest place in the sea!"
Yay! Chapter 1 is up! Wow, it was looonger than I had planned.
I have a few questions. Do you want this story to have pairings, or just crack? If you want pairings, leave it in a review and tell me what pairings you want.
And also, I'm leaving for China for 2-3 weeks so I won't be able to update for that period of time. However, I will update ONE LAST TIME before I leave my OTHER TWO stories, not this one. I will update this one when I get back.
Remember, I will only update if I get more than 5 reviews saying it was good.
-China, stories updated once more