Disclaimer: The characters and canon situations in the following story belong solely to JK Rowling. I am not making any money from the publishing or writing of this story.


I Know that You Sleep with My Boyfriend


Summary: Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.


Chapter I: Prologue


Let us die on let us live forever,
Don't have the power but we never say never,
Sitting in the sandpit life is a short trip,
Music's for the sad man

From "Forever Young" by Youth Group


"Pht!" Alice sneered as she walked.

Lily turned to her friend, a bewildered look marring her face. "What the hell was that just now?"

"Stupid first years, look at them… scared of their own fucking brooms!" She rolled her eyes, sending one of the Hufflepuff first years a particularity dirty look that left the child looking rather disconcerted.

Lily laughed. "Alice, you're such a bitch. It's their first time, and some of them are muggleborns…"

"Well they have an excuse, look at how many of them that grew up around brooms, what excuse do they have for looking so scared? I swear, I saw one of them crying over the possibility that his broom might smack him in the face when he commands it to come up. Pussy."

"Remind me again why it is you want to go into teaching, love," Lily requested as she entwined her arm with Alice's, playfully bumping her hip with her friend's.

"I can whip those little buggers into shape, you'll see, no more pansies at Hogwarts after I'm done with them…"

"That's maniacal, there."

Alice shrugged. "But bloody genius, nonetheless."

"That's one word for it, I suppose," Lily dryly responded as she and Alice took seats on the rocks by the lake. "I love autumn…"

"I hate it, I want winter to come already," Alice pouted, slouching a bit in her depress.

"You're quite the pessimist, you know?" Lily noted with a small smirk.

Alice shrugged again. "It counterbalances all of Jack's fucking peppiness."

Lily eyed her friend skeptically. "What's with you today? You're being mean, even meaner than usual, and honestly, I thought that was an impossible feat… but here it is, very possible, apparently…"

"Sorry," Alice mumbled. "I've just had some stuff on my mind as of late and it's been bothering me."

"Want to talk about it?"

"Well… it's just that—"

"Oh, ow!" Lily squealed in surprise as she toppled over and unto Alice when a sudden weight hit her full force. "Benji, you prat, I could have really hurt Alice," she chastised her boyfriend, slapping his arm painfully.

"Sorry, love," he grinned at her charmingly before turning to her best friend. "Sorry, Alice."

"It's okay, Fenwick… listen, Lils, lover boy's here so I'll leave you two alone, I have some last minute homework to do anyway…"

"Oh, but what about—"

Alice shook her head, stopping Lily mid-sentence. "Don't worry about it, we can always talk later, it's not that important anyway."

"You sure?" Lily asked as Benji slowly entwined his body with hers from behind.

"Yeah, honestly."

"Okay then, bye!" Lily waved as her friend walked off. "You're bad, you know that?" Lily asked as she turned around in Benji's arms so she could face him.

"Really?" he asked with a pensive look. "How so?"

"Making my best friend uncomfortable like that, pawing at me in public…"

"That wasn't pawing, but, if you'd like, I can show you what real pawing is like," he drawled with a wink sent her way.

She gasped, flushing immediately. "You pervy little bastard."

"There's nothing little about it love, you know that…"

She scoffed. "Oh, you boys and your egos."

"And what wonders you do for it," he grumbled, a bit put off by her lack of "proper" response to his innuendos.

Lily laughed openly, winding her arms around his neck and pulling him down for a quick peck, just about the most she was ever willing to do in public. "I didn't think I'd get to see you today, you said you had a ton of work to catch up on."

"I missed you," he murmured, rubbing his nose with hers in an Eskimo kiss. "Wanted to take a break to see you before heading back."

"Thank you, I'm happy I got a chance to be with you a bit today. How's your work though, making any headway?"

He shrugged. "Enough."

She nodded. "That's good… When will you have to head back?"

"In about two minutes, probably," he responded nuzzling her neck with his nose. "I've missed this," he remarked after a minute.

"Missed what?"

"Just holding you."

Her face burned upon hearing that admission, she smiled as she lightly bit her lip. "Well you're free to do it any time you want, you know?"

"Good, I'll make sure to take you up on that offer again," he assured her, tightening his hold on her before moving to release her. "But… I can't take full advantage of that tempting offer now, more work to do."

Lily tsked. "Shame."

He smiled. "You have no idea," he told her, softly caressing her cheek before dropping a kiss on her forehead. "I'll see you later though, yeah?"

"Yeah, when you have a chance, I know you have a ton of work."


The night you came into my life
Well it took the bones of me, took the bones of me
You blew away my storm and strife

And shook the bones of me, shook the bones of me

By the way, I do know why you stayed away...

I will keep tongue-tied next time

From "Life less Ordinary" by Carbon Leaf


"I hate you," Lily heard a very familiar voice bellow as she made her way down the halls.

"Oh yeah? Well I hate you more," a noticeably deeper and just as recognizable voice immediately retorted.

Lily sighed, shaking her head as she turned the corner to the sight of her two best mates fighting, again.

"What now?" Lily asked, her voice dry and unsurprised.

"She started it," jack immediately pointed his finger Alice's way.

"Alice, however, didn't argue that point, merely crossed her arms over her chest with a superior look. "Not my fault you're fucking pansy…"

Lily couldn't hold back a chortle at the crass reply. "Why's he a pansy this time, Alice?"

"He was spewing all this crap about love and sex and how we shouldn't do it unless actually in love," Alice informed her before turning back to Jack. "I mean have you ever even heard of this little notion of living in the moment, or is that wand just too high up your ass to even process it? And yes, that dual connotation there was intentional," Alice informed him with a wide grin and an impish tint in her eyes.

He rolled his eyes with a sneer. "For the last time, I'm not gay!"

"I'll believe it when you finally fuck a girl. Come on, Jack, you're seventeen and a virgin!"

"Alice," Lily stepped in, her tone reproachful. "Need I remind you that you and I were both seventeen when we lost our virginities, meaning that for some time we were actually seventeen and virgins… don't be a hypocrite here."

"But he's planning on keeping it until he's married."

"No, I'm not!" Jack interjected immediately. "I'm not a saint, Alice, just a bit of a romantic."

"Pfft, i.e. a pussy."

Lily rolled her eyes, but was unable to hold off a smile at Alice's response in spite of herself. "Oh come on, this should give you some hope for the male race, Al!"

"Yeah, for the gay male race, where does that leave me then?"

"A lesbian?" Jack offered with a smirk of his own.

"Jack, stop it!" Lily chastised. "Don't get her started again, let's just go to my dorm and relax a bit, leave this argument behind."

Alice rolled here eyes, again. "Lils, are you stupid? If we drop this, we'll just find something else to argue about; don't fight nature."

"Yeah," Jack nodded furiously. "Besides, we're very happy with our current arrangement, don't mess it up for us now. We enjoy arguing…"


Lily's expression was mystified, absolutely perplexed. "How the hell did you two end up teaming up against me here?"

Jack shrugged. "You were being stupid—"

"Hardly our fault," Alice finished for him.

"Oh, you two are ridiculous," Lily shook her head, throwing her arms over their shoulders. "Come on, let's just go to my dorm, I don't think Potter's there today… said something about an all day quidditch practice to prep for next week's meet against Hufflepuff…"

Alice nodded. "Yeah, he was telling me about that; they're scared shitless of the prospect of losing to them. They're just pathetic… ultimate pansies."

Jack cocked his head as he turned to look at Alice. "What is it with you and pansies anyway?"

"I hate them."

"No, really?" Jack purposefully goaded her with his fake surprise.

Lily, however, beat Alice to the punch that time by screeching: "Jack, really, shut up! Don't you dare start just after finishing."

"Sorry," he replied, his tone not the least bit apologetic. "Force of habit and all of that."

"Oh, give him a break, Lils; at least he's growing a back—"

"Mmm," a loud and uninhibited moan rang through the hall that they had just entered on their path to Lily's.

Alice immediately turned to the other two of the trio with a smirk on her face. "Looks like someone is really taking advantage of this Sabbath and in the most unholy of ways…"

"Alice, don't!" Jack groaned, immediately sensing what was coming next.

"Oh come on, Jack, don't be so dull," Lily laughed. "If they're stupid enough to do it in a class and so loudly then they deserve to experience the consequences of it… like say three unsuspecting friends walking in on them…"

Alice nodded. "I'd even go so far as to say that they're asking for it…"

"Some people are kinky like that," Lily agreed.

Jack groaned. "Oh come on, give them some privacy!"

"They're hardly doing it in a private enough place to garner the right to that," Alice argued, inching closer towards a door. "So, Lily, Jack, what do you think? Will it be here, door number one? Or will it be the one to Lily's left, door number two?"

Lily bit her lip, a mischievous smile crossing her face. "Well why don't we count to three and see?"

"A fine idea, that!" Alice immediately agreed as Jack groaned, yet again.

"One," Lily started.

"Two," Alice continued.

And, in unison, "three!" was shouted before the two quickly and quietly opened their respective doors.

"Fuck!" Alice cursed when she came across an empty room.

Lily, however, had a much different reaction as she quickly shut the door with a click, only having opened it up a crack before she retreated. Her face blanched as she moved to the wall opposite her. Her breathing was heavy, jaw slack, and body limbless as she slid down onto the floor.

Jack instantly came to her side, futilely trying to calm her, as Alice's brows furrowed and she immediately crossed the hall towards the "grievous" door to see what it was that had garnered such a terrible reaction.

The second her hand grasped the knob though, Lily stopped her, croaking: "No."

Alice turned, genuinely confused, and both she and Jack immediately asked: "Why?"

Lily gulped, gasping for air as she tried to work up the strength to answer without letting loose the mounds of bile building up in her throat. "That… that was Rachel in there… with Benji."


I think you're sleeping with a friend of mine
I have no proof but I think that I'm right
And you've still got the most beautiful face
It just makes me sad most of the time

Why do you love me
Why do you love me
Why do you love me, it's driving me crazy

From "Why Do You Love Me" by Garbage


author's note: given that I didn't' receive much of a response on the poll that I made for whether or not I should make a redux version of this (only 46 votes, cumulative) I've written up a first chapter to give an idea of what my redux will entail, this one didn't have as many changes as I'd like to incorporate (i.e. some more funny plans one how to embarrass Benji and avoid sex, much like the STI debacle for any previous readers)

now, if interested in this, please drop a review as I'm still on the edge about this, I need to know if people actually want it before I waste my time on it, I do have other stories in the works as well.

p.s. much like the previous one, this one will use lyrics as separators (ones which u can read or decide not to) but I also need to know if you'd want me to put up chapter play lists up on my site as well, so you can also listen.