AN: I am very frustrated with this. It started out all great and agsty, and then it morphed into fluff and happiness. I apologize profoundly. The lyrics are from Poker Face by Lady GaGa, which just proves inspiration can be found in the most unlikely places. Anyway, go on, read and enjoy! :)
Russian Roulette is not the same without a gun,
And, baby, when it's love, if it's not rough it isn't fun.
Somewhere deep within her subconscious, she knows this is unhealthy and immoral and, quite possibly, insane.
That doesn't really affect her decision to continue on this path of absolute irrationality, though.
She rakes her nails across his back, down his arms; he hisses and growls and glares at her like he wants to kill her. Instead, he bites her shoulder viciously on a hard grind and makes her scream.
"Fuck, Naruto," she snarls into his cheek, "are you so soft on Sasuke?" She knows she is pushing him, but that's why they do this. They have to do this; otherwise they have to accept that he will never be theirs again, and that option is not a viable one.
The grip he has on her becomes impossibly harder, his kind hands digging bruises into her skin. So much of his weight is pressed against her she has trouble breathing. She struggles to prevent a gasp from escaping her mouth.
"Of course not, Sakura-chan." His nose trails from her shoulder to her ear; he hums in a menacing, un-Naruto-like tone. His voice continues in a whisper, "Sasuke-kun is much too delicate for that."
He pulls back only enough so she can see his hard eyes when he continues, "He only gets the best."
She knows, knows, that he is just saying that to get a rise out of her but Goddamn it, he understands her and she gives chase.
With a vicious lurch, she has thrown him over the edge of the bed; he hits his head on the side table in the fall and she is hardly in control enough to notice. Her body drops onto his and she does not bother to watch the knees and elbows as she arranges herself. Her fingers slide into his matted hair and she pulls his head sharply back as she leans to taste his throat.
She feels blood on her hand and her lust for his pain dims a bit, "Wouldn't want you hurt, would we?" she murmurs when she leans in to check the damage. Once her head is next to his own, Naruto turns his head to attach his mouth to her neck, just below her ear. His formerly trauma-stilled hands began to push her vest off her shoulders and pull her mesh shirt up her torso.
"Sometimes I close my eyes," she hummed softly, "and pretend you're..."
Stars burst before her eyes as he stands to his knees and hurls her against the wall. She gulps a mouthful of air in a second of fear but meets his eyes when it ends.
"Never," his left hand is under her knee, pulling her leg to wrap above and around his hip, "you'll never get him. Settle for me?" He ends his verbal attack with an almost-kind tone, though his actions convey just as much intensity as before. His other hand pulls against her hip, and she finds he has pressed his groin against hers in such a manner that her lungs can no longer bring in air.
When she manages to speak again, she tries to keep them away from sliding toward that dangerous not-quite-love; that is why they are in such pain and neither of them can take that and her thoughts are rambling so she spits her words out quickly, "I don't do second best."
The feral laugh that is her reply comforts her; she's sure they won't have to deal with any real feelings today. Soon, she is completely gone as he pushes inside of her hard and makes her ride their anger in a more physical sense.
She's so gone that she forgets to even try to call Sasuke's name to spite him; when she comes, it's, "Naruto," that falls from her reddened lips. When he hears his name, he sears her temple with his mouth and breathes words that sound dangerously affectionate into her hairline.
After a moment to fall back down, he braces his hand on the wall behind her and rises to a standing position; she allows her body to be pulled up by the arm he still has wrapped around her waist.
They fall back into the bed and she curls into him and kisses his chest apologetically and heals the back of his head completely (the cut gash was almost gone, anyway) before drifting towards sleep.
Before she has quite managed unconsciousness, however, he interrupts her with a strong whisper, "Love you, Sakura-chan."
She believes him; she loves him, too. She has known this for too long to distinguish when it started. Regardless, she knows that when she admits it, things will change. She doesn't want to admit it until Sasuke is back and they can tell him they don't need him anymore, that they have one another. It feels so important to tell him first; they have always been more considerate of his feelings than he is for theirs.
And this half-relationship is strained and sometimes awkward and possibly very unhealthy.
Perhaps what they are doing is just wrong. She will admit this to herself; instead of ignoring his assertion or replaying in kind, she continues the charade with just a tinge of real her very real affection in her reply (he hears this and only responds with a chuckle).
"Lie until you mean it."