Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood.

Author's Note: Okay! So this is my first attempt at Torchwood fanfiction! Got this idea while I was at work last night. There are no spoilers so no worries!


Playing with Himself

"Oh, Jack..."

"God, Ianto.... So good."

"C'mon... More..."

"So tight..."

"Jack... I'm com – "

"God, yes Ianto, come for me..."

"Uh... Jack?"

Jack started at the familiar Welsh drawl. Moving fast, he hid what he was doing in one of his desk drawers and plastered on a bright, charming smile and met Ianto's curious gaze.

"Ianto... Was there something you needed?" Jack asked casually, not letting his embarrassment at being caught show.

"No, not really. I was just coming to see if you wanted some more coffee. What were you doing exactly?" Ianto asked curiously.

"Me? I was just..." Jack tried to think of just the right way to phrase what he'd been doing without giving himself away. "...Testing out a theory. Yes... That's what I was doing since I'm all done my work for the day."

Jack watched as Ianto though over the blatantly obvious lie and hoped that for once his young lover wouldn't call him on it. No such luck.

"So, you're finished all of your work for the day?"

There was a hint of a challenge in Ianto's voice and Jack was never one to turn down a challenge, especially if it was Ianto who was doing the challenging.

"Yep," Jack said with a smug smile. "All done."

"All your mission reports?"


"What about reviewing everyone else's reports and getting them ready for me to archive?"

"Ianto... I said I was done."

There was a glint of smugness in Ianto's crystal blue eyes and whenever Jack saw that special glint, it never meant anything good. This did not bode well for him and he knew it.

"I know what you said, Jack," Ianto said. "And I trust that you're telling me the truth."

"Good, I'm glad," Jack said as he swallowed nervously. Maybe I got past him this time, he thought.

"So..." Ianto drawled as he finally moved away from the door and ventured into Jack's office. He closed the door behind him and swiftly over to the table of papers near the windows, blinds drawn. "Then this completely untouched looking pile of documents that U.N.I.T. needed signed and sent back three months ago is all done?" Ianto Briefly leafed through the papers and tsk'd. "Guess not."

He grabbed a pile of them and walked over to Jack's desk. Ianto dropped the documents onto his desk. All of which were unsigned, out of order, and marked "Extremely Urgent, Signature needed ASAP."

"Um..." Jack tried to come up with something, anything to say that would explain away the pile of uncompleted paperwork but nothing came.

Ianto smiled at him and Jack knew he was caught. "So, Jack... What were you really doing?"

Jack sighed, admitting defeat. He opened up his desk drawer and pulled out two – naked - dolls that looked remarkably like himself and Ianto. "I was re-enacting the intense sex we had last night."

Ianto grabbed "himself" and studied the doll carefully. "Well... Why didn't you just say so?" He asked with a playful smirk as he moved to stand behind Jack and bent down to whisper into the Captain's ear. "You don't need to use dolls to re-enact our sex life. All you have to do is ask and I'll give you a special encore."

Jack was shocked for all of two seconds before he spun his chair around and pulled Ianto into a wet, dirty, and passionate kiss. "Well then," he purred as they broke apart. "Let's have that encore now then."