It was cold, I am cold.
That's a lie. I am nothing.
Nothing, why should I have to go on? What good come of me being here, I have nothing left to live for, when everything you have, everyone you love leaves, what do you have left to live for?
Tears leaked from my closed eyes. The darkness was comforting, but you cannot sit in darkness forever, I would go to it. I wouldn't put myself through anymore of this suffering. It's not selfish because it's not hurting anyone. It is just a surrender.
And I'm okay with that. I slowly opened my eyes and they prickled in the icy wind. I took my bag from my shoulder and dumped it beside a rock. I took a deep breath. The air was cool in my lungs, refreshing almost. I wiped my cheeks with the back of my hand and slowly walked forwards. I stared over the edge to the sea below. Rocks protruded from the violent waves. Here my life would end.
And I welcomed it.
A vision popped clearly into my head. A lone gravestone stood over a newly dug grave. No flowers, no weeping mourners.
Just a grave.
My grave, stating in dark grey letters etched into the surface,
"Isabella Marie Swan,
A Beloved Daughter"
Of course, that's all my mother could put, because that's all I was, but my mom would move on, she had Phil. A family of her own. She didn't need me, not now. A beloved friend, that's what it would have said if I had died a few months earlier- but I pushed them all away. I ignored the people I who I could count on, who would never just leave me here. I was sure none of them would leave me, how wrong I was. Not a loved girlfriend either, my heart panged at this agonizing thought...
A lump built in my throat and I swallowed. This would be my last act, with God as my witness. Here I would end my life.
I took a deep breath and poised myself to jump, I took one look back at my bag, all they would find... and launched my self into the abyss.
Adrenaline built in my veins, my heartbeat raced and a smile spread across my face as the wind whipped my face, my hair fanned and and my eyes stung. I remembered the feeling from so long ago and an image of Jacob Black flashed in my mind. It felt like a knife straight through my stomach, a bullet through my heart. To see his face. To see him that way, it being my fault...all my fault. It hurt to much to think, I begged for it to stop, to end my excruciating turmoil. This pain was too much to take, a split second later it all went black...