A/N: I don't usually write, like, or even read these sort of story lines but it just sort of popped into my head. Purely humor.

Disclaimer: All rights go to Gossip Girl and Desperate Housewives (because there is a slight reference, you have been warned.)

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Dan Humphrey entered the hospital apprehensively. He shouldn't have been here in the first place. If he didn't love Serena so much, he wouldn't be. He approached the front desk.

"Name?" the nurse at the station asked. Dan felt his muscles tighten convulsively.

***

"She's what?" Dan asked into the phone.

"Dan, I know you heard me. Please don't make me say it again," his girlfriend begged.

"It's not that I want you to repeat it. It's that I am appalled at what you want me to do." He heard Serena sigh heavily into the phone.

"I'm stuck here and she doesn't have anyone."

"What about…?" Dan began.

"Stuck in Tokyo. Don't you think he would want to be there for the birth of his own child?"

"I honestly don't know what to think of him anymore."

"Dan, come on," Serena pleaded. "He's not that bad. She really needs someone right now. She's at her wit's end."

"Are you sure that it's me you want here, then?"

"I would be there if I could. I think I'll be more in trouble when you show instead of me than you will."

"I highly doubt that," Dan said dryly.

"Look, I have to go," Serena said with exasperation. "Just… be nice, okay?"

"Me?" Dan asked, surprised.

"She's in a fragile state. Just try to be civil."

"Okay…" Dan said, still in shock at that request. However, Serena had already hung up. Dan sighed.

***

"Name?" the nurse at the station asked. Dan felt his muscles tighten convulsively.

"Blair Waldorf."

Dan hesitated outside of the door. He could almost smell the burnt flesh of passersby that crossed the threshold. He steeled himself, took a deep breath, and opened the door.

Blair had given up on crying. She was pretty sure that she was desensitized to the slight pain by now. She knew it could only get worse. That vow was before the next contraction. The pain shouldn't have surprised her, really, considering who the father was.

Blair looked up from an old episode of Desperate Housewives that was playing on Lifetime. She had been subjected to an entire day of Lifetime because she couldn't move from where she was sitting.

After the shock and anger at seeing him enter her room, Blair watched with amusement as she was sure that Dan Humphrey flinched under her gaze. She narrowed her eyes vindictively down at him. Just because she was in massive amounts of pain didn't mean she couldn't have fun.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Blair asked spitefully.

"Uh…" Dan said nervously. Blair rolled her eyes and turned back to the television. She felt another tremor of pain but bit it back this time. Hell if she was going to show weakness in front of Dan Humphrey.

"Where's Serena?" Blair asked instead. "She was supposed to be here. She didn't send you instead, did she?" Blair threatened. Dan blanched.

"Of… course not," he stammered. "She's… outside…" Blair smirked. The answer was yes, Serena had actually sent her low rent boyfriend to check on her. Traitor.

This time Blair couldn't suppress the wave of pain that overwhelmed her.

"Are you okay?" Dan asked uncertainly. He withered under her glare.

"I'm fine," she snapped. She was not going to let Brooklyn actually feel sorry for her.

"How are we doing in here?" the nurse asked that stepped in.

"Peachy," Blair muttered under her breath. The nurse just smiled. She was used to hormonal women. Little did she know that she never met a hormonal woman like Blair Waldorf.

"That's great," the nurse smiled cheerily. Blair exhaled angrily under her breath. Dan looked petrified.

"Will your husband be joining us in the delivery room?" the nurse addressed Dan.

"What?" Blair yelled. Dan would have protested against marrying a vindictive bitch like Blair if she hadn't beat him to it.

"He is not my husband," Blair stated.

"Oh," the nurse said apologetically. "My mistake." Blair nodded jerkily like she had just been through a trauma.

"Then he's your…" the nurse prompted.

"Default," Blair sighed. "My best friend promised me she'd be here because the father is a self absorbed pig and can't be reached. But she sent her boyfriend instead," Blair gushed. "I mean-- look what that Basstard has subjected me to! He takes my virginity in the back of his stupid limo and then decides Tokyo is more important than me in this massive amount of pain--"

"I'll just go an get… you some ice chips," the nurse interupted. She hadn't realized this was who she was dealing with. She rushed out of the room.

"Coward," Blair muttered.

"Are you sure I can't get you anything?" Dan asked, wanting desperately to get out of the room. Blair shot him a seething look.

"I'm fine. But unless you want to go all the way to Tokyo to drag a certain cretin back, be my guest." Dan decided not to answer. Any problems they were having were none of his business. He really didn't want to witness that bloodbath, anyway. Either of them.

Blair's orange phone vibrated on the bedside table. She tried to snatch for it but it was out of reach. It seemed unlikely that the stupid father of her stupid child would finally be getting in touch with her. It didn't stop her from hoping. But apparently her stomach was so large she couldn't even move. She glared venomously at it.

Dan wondered if pregnant women were even allowed to be talking on cell phones when they were in labor. That couldn't be good. Dan wondered who it was or if it was important. It could be Serena.

"What do you think you're doing?" Blair snapped as he reached for her phone.

"It was… ringing…" Dan got out. Blair was all the more intimidating when she was hormonal.

"Great deduction, Brooklyn," Blair said snidely. She couldn't believe that Serena actually thought that this was a good idea.

"I really don't think it was for you." Dan didn't respond again. He figured Blair was like a shark. If you just didn't move or shed any blood, she wouldn't smell it and you wouldn't be mauled to death.

"You don't have to be here, you know," Blair said more quietly. "It's not like I'm afraid of being alone or anything. It's not like I don't… have anyone." Dan looked away. He really did not want to see Blair Waldorf in tears. It made him uncomfortable.

Blair hated being vulnerable in front of trash like this. That may have been harsh, but really, she had an excuse. The one person that she wanted to be here wasn't. That made her even more emotional than she was already.

"I want… to be here," Dan tried to say convincingly. He looked back at her when she let out laughter for the first time. Dan was unsuccessful.

"Don't try that on me, Humphrey," Blair sighed, squeezing her eyes shut. "I know you hate me. Don't try to sugar coat it just because I'm pregnant." Dan didn't try to deny it. She was unpredictable at this stage.

Blair didn't really care what Dan Humphrey thought of her. Pregnancy was a bitch. She was actually glad that Humphrey didn't like her. It made hating him easier.

"So…" Dan tried to make conversation. Blair raised an eyebrow at him. "Did you try to reach…"

"Yeah, yeah, he's out of range," interjected Blair. She didn't really like thinking about him when she vowed to despise him for all time.

"You could try him again," Dan suggested. What was Humphrey playing at? Did he actually want to talk to the person who hated him most?

"Since when have you two become the best of friends?" Blair asked skeptically.

"Since never," Dan said immediately. Blair smiled slightly. At least there was honesty.

"Well, then," Blair deliberated. "Might as well." She didn't try for her phone again, just looked at Dan expectantly.

"Oh," he said, grabbing the phone. He held it out for her. She didn't take it.

"Well?" she asked. "Go ahead."

"What?" Dan asked, taken aback. She really didn't expect him to call the father did she? Blair gestured towards him, giving him the go ahead. She wanted to see the reaction of Humphrey calling. It had to be worth this escalating pain.

"Uh…" Dan stared at the phone in his hand.

"You do know how to use a phone, don't you?" Blair asked condescendingly. Yes, this was definitely worth it. Almost.

"Of course I do," Dan protested.

"Then. Go. Ahead," Blair dictated. Dan opened it gingerly as though it would explode. He hesitated. He didn't know the number.

"He's in the contacts. You do know how to get into the contacts, right?" Blair prompted again.

"Yeah," Dan said. Of course he knew the contacts. It was just very difficult to keep a level head with a pregnant upperclass bitch scrutinizing his every move. Blair nodded slowly, urging him again. He flipped the phone open and exited from the random Gossip Girl blast that had appeared on the screen. He scrolled through the contacts, finding it near the top.

"You could have just gone through the speed dial," Blair sighed, lying back in the bed, hiding a smile. Maybe she could forgive Serena for this. It was actually very entertaining.

"You just said…" Dan protested. Whatever. He wasn't going to point out that he didn't know he was in the speed dial, not to mention what number. He wasn't going to mention this to an emotional Blair Waldorf.

He hadn't realized that he had already pressed send and it had been dialing for seconds now. Dan quickly put it up to his ear, still hearing it ring.

"Is it ringing?" Blair asked. Dan nodded.

"Well at least there's that," Blair said. The last hundred times he had been called, it hadn't even gone through. Dan was about to hang up on about the 20th ring when someone picked up.

"Hey, I'm sorry I couldn't be reached. Are you are the hospital already?" a daringly caring voice came out in a rush. Dan was frozen. It seemed inconceivable that he was on the line with Chuck Bass, long distance, and not having insults thrown at him.

"Hello? Blair?"

"Uh, no," Dan finally stammered out. Blair sat up, captivated that Chuck had finally been reached. She strained to listen. She could hear the dark hint of his familiar and soothing gravelly velvet voice.

"It's Dan." Silence. Dan looked down to see if they had been disconnected.

"Dan… Humphrey," he said almost like a question. He couldn't help thinking how this was like the first time he had met Chuck Bass on the bus.

"What are you doing with Blair's phone?" Chuck asked after an elongated pause.

"Well… she's right here," Dan said. Blair thrust out a hand for the phone. No doubt to yell at him. Chuck interrupted.

"You're there with her?" the voice demanded.

Blair shook her hand excitedly. She really needed to talk to him right now. She felt so alone and he was the only one who would understand. Not to mention yelling at him for not being here yet.

"Yes…" was all Dan managed to get out.

"Where's Serena?" Chuck snapped. Dan couldn't help but marvel at the tone of which Chuck's voice had changed. He answered the phone and it was full of fondness. Now it was full of spite.

"She couldn't be here yet," Dan informed.

"So she sent you instead?" Chuck asked with dark humor. He was right, though. What was Serena thinking?

"Yes…" Dan said, obviously. Blair crossed her arms impatiently. Dan had been waiting for a witty retort but got none. That wasn't very like his enemy.

Dan looked down and saw that they actually had been disconnected. He snapped the phone shut. He was not calling back to get verbally reprimanded by Chuck Bass, even if he was being threatened by a highly pregnant woman. A highly pregnant Blair Waldorf, which was even worse.

"Well?" Blair demanded. Why the hell had he hung up? Dan placed the phone back on the table.

"We got disconnected," Dan said. Blair started muttering under her breath. He was pretty sure he heard the words "low rent" and "incompetent."

"Well is he coming?" Blair asked after a pause.

"I don't know," Dan realized. He was so busy under Chuck's interrogation he had forgotten to ask. "I think he knows you're here," Dan tried to be helpful. Blair rolled her eyes.

"What was he like?" Blair asked.

"What?" Dan asked.

"What was his tone?" Dan couldn't believe he was being asked how a guy sounded on the phone. "Did he sound rushed? What was the background noise? Was there any music? Could you detect to distinct sound of the hookers of Tokyo? Did it sound like he was smoking anything? Was he on the street? Was he running?"

Dan highly doubted Chuck Bass was running but he didn't have time to voice his theories on Chuck's activities because the nurse had returned with the ice chips as promised, a little longer than expected.

"Here you go," the nurse said. Dan glared at the woman. She had deserted him and the worse possible thing happened. He had been forced to call Chuck Bass.

"Thanks," Blair said, voice laced with venom. The nurse looked like she was just about to flee again.

"So we reached him," Dan said, trying to get her to stay. Blair glared at him. She didn't understand why he was here, anyway.

"Oh," the nurse said. "The father?"

"Yes," Blair snapped. "Who else would we be talking about?" Whoa. A little bitchier than deemed necessary, but that was Blair Waldorf.

"So he's coming?" The nurse obviously didn't want to be alone in the delivery room with Blair.

"If he doesn't, then when he does get here, castration would be a reward," Blair threatened. She was more angry that Humphrey had hung up, but she was sure that when he did show up (because he better) then she would be highly more angry at him.

The nurse's eyes widened. Dan could assume they were thinking the same thing. OMFG, this bitch was crazy. The nurse couldn't exit the room fast enough.

"Finally," Blair said, slightly more relieved. "I thought she would never leave." Dan looked at her, surprised.

"Did you hear how she was talking to me?" demanded Blair. Dan thought silence was best at this point. Even watching 40 year old women sleeping with their gardeners seemed better than this.

Dan really wasn't sure how long he had stayed but finally the credits rolled across the screen of the television. He got up to leave to get some coffee.

"Where do you think you're going?" Blair demanded. Hell if she was going to be left alone in here, even if she had to be with Dan Humphrey.

"I was just going to get some…" he motioned towards the door. Blair arched her eyebrow. Dan sat down nervously. He really didn't feel like having ice chips being thrown at his face.

"So…" Dan said. He didn't know why he always had to make conversation, but Blair was being awkwardly quiet right now.

"No one said you had to talk," Blair said to him. Dan obliged. He wasn't going to prod the sleeping beast.

"And do you have to breathe so loudly?"

But anything was better than her angry emotions. Dan knew he had to start a conversation just to stop her from attacking him. There really wan't anything that he and Blair had in common to talk about but one thing had occured to him.

He couldn't help but remember Chuck's tone when he thought Blair was on the line. A part of Dan was sorry that he hadn't handed the phone over. They obviously wanted to talk to each other. There was a side of Chuck that he was sure no one saw but Blair. He knew what it was like to be separated from the one you loved. It wasn't fun.

As twisted and unconventional the relationship Chuck and Blair shared with each other, they were still in love. It was a shame that he couldn't hear the soft side of Blair that would only come out around Chuck. He realized that the only thing that would stop Blair from her bitch attack would be one person. He wasn't here, so they would have to settle for talking about it, no matter how much Dan dreaded the prospect.

"So what's the appeal?" Dan asked, just plunging in.

"Excuse me?" Blair asked. He couldn't be talking about the man who had suddenly abandoned her. But thinking about Chuck was actually calming when she wasn't thinking of the ways she could punish him. He could have that effect on her, even when he wasn't there.

"I just never understood the attraction that one would have for a boozing, womanizing narcissist." He didn't mean for his comment to come out so truthfully, but Chuck seemed to bring out the worst on people.

"Are you seriously going to ask me about my preference in men? I didn't think you were that adventurous." Dan was honestly just trying to make conversation but it occurred to him that he had in fact been one on one with Chuck before. He actually had a reason for being… well, the way he was. He wondered if Blair was the same.

"Never mind," Dan shook his head. Blair sighed. She didn't know how long they were going to be here and conversation was conversation. It was another way to cover up her fear that there was a possibility that Chuck wasn't going to show.

"You can't possibly think I meant to fall in love with Chuck Bass," Blair said skeptically.

"Chuck's a womanizer," Dan reasoned. "Lot's of women…"

"Those women just think they're in love with Chuck Bass. He's dark and dangerous. It's appealing to some people. Falling for Chuck was not something I planned. I don't know how it happened, but it did. Believe me, my life would be a lot more easier if Chuck Bass wasn't perfect for me in every way. "

"You believe that?" Dan asked. "That he's your soul mate or something?"

"Soul mate?" Blair scoffed at the term. "There are just people that are better suited for each other than others. Chuck and I are best suited for each other."

"Really?" Dan was skeptical. "You two seem like you're opposites."

"That's because you're blind. You don't see what I see," Blair said softly. Dan was taken aback. She was actually talking about connecting with Chuck Bass on an emotional level. "You don't know him like I do. No one does, really. They see what you see. A partier. A boozer. They use him for that. No one really knows what lies underneath."

"I know," Dan tried to defend himself. He didn't like her lumping him in with the rest of the Upper East Side.

"Really? Judging from that phone call, it didn't sound like you were the best of friends." It was weird talking about Chuck to Dan. She didn't even talk to Serena about Chuck like this. But she missed him desperately, and it was the only way to get close to him right now.

"I know that his mother died in childbirth," Dan said before he could stop himself. Blair raised dangerous eyes at him.

"I know that," Blair said, instead of being sardonic. "Why do you think he's in Tokyo?"

"What?" Dan asked, confused.

"Chuck deals with things in his own way. Time was, he would throw himself in a life of boozing and womanizing. Now he's just a workaholic. I know he's running from this. I just wish I could help him." Talking about her emotions were weird to begin with, let alone talking about them with Dan Humphrey.

Dan hadn't realized it was like that. Of course, it made total sense. Chuck was afraid of losing Blair the way he lost his own mother. But Dan didn't think he would just not show up for the birth of his own child. Blair just shrugged, trying to wave off something she obviously felt.

"So don't even try to judge me," snapped Blair, trying to protect herself in a sudden turn around. Hell if Brooklyn was going to judge her.

"I wasn't…"

"Don't pretend you're better than us, with your humble beginnings and whatever. You have no idea what it's like to be us. You're lucky you actually have a father who's there for you and loves you. Some of us should be so lucky."

"I don't think I'm better than you," Dan protested, trying to ignore Blair's sullen tone. Blair just rolled her eyes.

"No, I don't. Do you think I'd be with Serena if I did? It's true, I think that some of you are just full of themselves. But Serena is the most generous and good person I have ever met. I wouldn't give it up for anything."

"Hey." Dan looked back at the voice. She was leaning in the doorframe, a smile on her face. Dan grinned and sat up to greet to Serena.

"Can you two do that in the hall or something?" Blair asked loudly. "Normally my vomiting would be eternal, but I can't exactly move from my current position." Serena laughed.

"Hey, B. How are you?"

"Oh, splendid," Blair said, sarcasm dripping from every syllable. "And by the way, I will never forgive you."

"I came didn't I?" Serena asked.

"Oh, yes. I feel so blessed."

"Come on, Blair. We got in touch with Chuck. He's on his way, now." Dan could tell that Blair was trying her best not to act relieved.

"Great. The father of my child finds time in his busy schedule to be here in my worst hour. We should throw a party." Serena just smiled at her. She knew she had to humor her when she was in these moods.

"I'm going to go talk to the doctor, I'll be right back," Serena turned towards the door.

"What? You're leaving already?" Blair yelled.

"Don't worry," Serena tried to calm Blair. "Dan will be here." Dan sighed and collapsed onto the chair he had just vacated.

"Oh, I feel so comforted," Blair seethed.

"You seemed to actually be communicating before I got here," Serena said, neglecting to mention how they were disagreeing. If looks could explode people's head, Dan was fairly certain that Serena's would be splattered all over the wall, courtesy of Blair.

Blair tried to adjust herself into a comfortable position. She was getting more uncomfortable by the second.

The nurse cautiously stood at the entrance of the room. She was afraid to enter. Dan couldn't imagine why.

"Are we ready to go to the delivery room?" the nurse asked timidly. Blair raised her eyes. She seemed to be calmed now that she knew Chuck was on his way.

"Now?" Blair asked apprehensively.

"Not this very minute, but you're almost ready. As soon as the contractions get closer together, you should be ready," the nurse said timidly.

"Now?" Blair shouted this time. The nurse looked unsure of what to say next. "No," Blair said, deciding. The nurse had to protest. "We can't go now. He's not here."

"Oh, is your husband coming, then?" the nurse asked, trying to get conversation in a different direction.

"Oh, I'm not married," Blair corrected.

"What?" Dan asked. Blair looked surprised at his outburst. "You two aren't married?" Blair looked confused.

"I didn't know you had such high Christian values, Humphrey," said Blair.

"I don't," Dan protested. " I just assumed…"

"Do you really think that Chuck is the marrying type?" Blair asked scornfully.

"I… guess not…" Dan said, still confused.

"Well it was either eloping or not getting married at all. I chose this." Dan narrowed his eyes. She chose not getting married with a lavish wedding over eloping? That just didn't seem right.

"You didn't want to get married?" Dan asked.

"No, I do," Blair said indifferently.

"Then why didn't you just elope?"

"It doesn't really matter. I'm wearing him down. I'm carrying his painful unborn child. It's only a matter of time before I get what I want." Dan didn't know how to respond. He didn't want to have a lavish wedding. He hoped Serena wouldn't manipulate the situation like her best friend had.

The whole time this conversation had happened the nurse was still standing there.

"So do you know who's coming in with you?" she asked, not wanting to spur another outburst.

"Chuck," Blair said automatically.

"That's your boyfriend, then?" the nurse asked helpfully.

"I'd use the term 'boyfriend' lightly." Blair said uncertainly. "He's the father." Apparently those two didn't use trivial words like "boyfriend" and "girlfriend."

"Well we have to prepare in case he doesn't get here in time," the nurse said.

"He'll be here," Blair said confidently.

"But just in case…" the nurse said, treading lightly.

"He'll be here," Blair said, her voice escalating.

"B," Serena said from the doorway. "There is a possibility that Chuck might not make it."

"Then we'll wait," Blair said firmly.

"Wait?" the nurse asked. "That's impossible. Once it's started, you can't wait." The realization hit Blair with great force. She needed Chuck so much and he wasn't here.

"I can't do this," Blair said shakily. She gripped convulsively at the bars on the side of her bed. She hadn't had a panic attack since she was little. "ohmigodohmigodohmigodohmigod," Blair was whispering to herself.

"That Chuck Bass-tard. Of course he would knock me up and just abandon me like this." Blair was near tears now. Panicking during pregnancy was not advised.

"I'll be right back," the nurse said nervously. Serena followed the nurse out. Dan couldn't believe that she was leaving her best friend like this.

"Where are you going?" Dan asked when they were in the hallway.

"There's nothing we can do but wait right now. There's only one thing that can help her right now. And he's not here. There's nothing we can do."

"I don't understand how Chuck Bass could be helpful to anyone."

"Chuck and Blair just understand each other," Serena said. "She needs him right now. And if he doesn't get here soon…" Serena trailed off. They could only imagine.

"SON OF A BITCH!" came from Blair's room. Serena's eyes widened. Blair's contractions had definitely gotten very close. They were going to have to wheel her out soon.

"Well at least we know who the father is," Dan joked. "Only the spawn of Satan could make noise like that."

"I'm glad you're finding amusement in the pain of a hormonal woman in such a fragile state," a voice came from behind him. It was the same dark voice that had interrogated him on the phone earlier that day. Dan froze. Serena looked relieved.

Dan turned slowly to face Chuck Bass with his arms crossed over his chest. Dan couldn't help but revel in how Blair and his glares seemed to be so identical.

"Thank God you're here," Serena gushed. "Blair almost gauged the nurse's eyes out with the ice chips."

"I can imagine," Chuck said with a fond smile crossing his lips. Dan knew he would never understand their relationship. But he finally did have to admit there were not two people more suited for each other.

A hospital personnel rushed into Blair's room.

"What's going on?" Chuck demanded suddenly. "She hasn't been wheeled in yet, has she?"

"No, they're doing that now, I think," Serena supplied. "I'm not going to have to go in there, am I?" Serena hinted.

"Of course not," Chuck snapped. Blair was being wheeled out. Dan knew the exact moment that Blair saw Chuck. It was the moment that all hell broke loose.

"Blair," Chuck rushed to her side. Blair glared at him, mask already in place.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Blair snapped. Jerk.

"Sir, are you coming into the delivery room with us?" asked an employee.

"Yes.."

"The hell he is!" snapped Blair. Her anger was overwhelming at this point.

"Excuse me?" asked Chuck. No way was he missing this.

"I would rather Humphrey be in there than you," snarled Blair.

"What?" asked Chuck incredulously. Chuck couldn't fathom why she would rather him. All the while that this conversation was taking place in the middle of the hallway.

"Make a decision, please," begged the employee. "She's ready now." Blair and Chuck weren't listening to anyone.

"You are such a jerk, Bass!" Blair yelled. Dan would have shrank away. Chuck didn't.

"I'm coming in there with you," threatened Chuck.

"That's not your decision to make," said Blair triumphantly. She looked at Serena.

"No," snapped Chuck. He wasn't letting his step sister in there. He was.

"We have to get in there," the employee tried to speak over the screaming match in the middle of the hallway. They started wheeling Blair forward. Chuck kept up.

"Where the hell were you?" Blair screamed at Chuck. "I hate you! I'm in this state because of you!" Any other person would have had difficulty beating another person mercilessly in the chest while sitting in a hospital bed in motion. While pregnant. And in immense pain. Blair pulled it off.

"Go away," moaned Blair. She was petrified of Chuck leaving but really, her anger was overcompensating for that. Chuck had killed himself getting here to be with her. He was getting in there with her.

"I'm staying here with you all the way," Chuck vowed.

"No! I don't want you here. I hate you!" Chuck was honestly used to Blair telling him this but he looked at the nurse for assistance.

"Don't worry," the nurse said. "They all say that."

"No, I mean it!" yelled Blair. "I don't want him near me in my delicate state!"

"You don't seem so delicate to me," Chuck countered.

"That won't help," the nurse whispered. Chuck scoffed. He knew Blair more than this "professional" did. Blair responded to badinage.

"Look what you've done to me!" snapped Blair. "I am here because of you!"

"Me?" asked Chuck. "You were the one who mauled me in the back of the limo."

"Please!" Blair disagreed. "You had your hands all over me that night."

"We're going to have to make a decision right now," commanded the nurse, not wanting to hear about the Chuck and Blair sexcapades.

"I'm coming," Chuck stated.

"Well let's go, then," the nurse said before Blair could interrupt.

"Fine, but don't think this is over, Bass," Blair caved in to her pain.

"I wouldn't count on it," Chuck whispered in her ear. This earned him a smack.

"I hate you," Blair warned him in a strained voice again. Chuck could tell that she was in pain. He also knew what "hate" was code for them.

"I hate you too," he promised. Blair groaned as another contraction ripped through her. Chuck grabbed her hand for the first time. Blair made a laugh laced with pain. She leaned back, trying to reign in her discomfort.

"If you leave me, I will kill you," Blair said darkly. Chuck laughed.

"I know." He squeezed her hand. Blair looked up at him with fear in her eyes. Chuck leaned down and kissed her fiercely. He pulled away and saw strength returning. He smiled, relieved.

"Are we ready?" prompted the nurse, uneasy of the sudden display of affection.

"Yes," Blair said breathlessly. Chuck never let go of her hand.