Story of My Life
Time and time again, Edward proved to be too perfect for words.
Just the other day, I was in such a sour mood that I refused to leave our bed. All I wanted to do was lay there, watch E! and eat peanut butter M&M's. Instead of telling me to get my lazy fat butt out of bed, shower and be productive, Edward called Alice and Jasper and had them take Ayden to the park for a little while so he could just lay with me and watch the 20 Most Mysterious Unsolved Crimes and feed me my M&M's.
Today was no different a case on the subject of Edward's perfectness. We were supposed to be going to lunch with my father because he had to tell us something important but I was freaking out because nothing I had to wear fit or looked good. In fact, everything I put on made me look like a beached whale.
Yet Edward knew exactly how to handle me as I ranted crazily to myself in the mirror. "How does anyone even get this fat? Honestly it's grotesque."
"Oh quit it," he says sternly, wrapping his arms all the way around me and resting his warm palms on my exposed belly. "You look absolutely stunning."
"You're just saying that because I control the sex in our relationship and you don't want it taken away," I said as I attempted to wiggle out of his grip but he held on tight.
My reply may have been nastier than I intended, but I really was miserable about how I looked. I had managed to gain forty-five pounds during this pregnancy, when I had only gained fifteen when I was pregnant with Ayden. Then again those were under circumstances where didn't I get to eat every day and now I ate what felt like 40 times a day. And I never had morning sickness, so I wasn't throwing up any of these calories I gorged myself with.
Edward let go of me and spun me around so I was facing him. "Bella, after all this time do you honestly not understand how beautiful you are? You're not fat, you are pregnant and you are glowing. I know you like to believe that I am lying when I tell you how gorgeous I find you but I am not. I could never lie to you about that, you are always going to be the prettiest girl I have ever seen. The sooner you accept that, the easier your life will be, I swear."
"It's like you were plucked from a romance novel Edward," I tell him, melting against his chest. "I'm sorry I was so mean. I'd never take sex away from you. I love you too much to do that."
"You know it has nothing to do with sex," Edward tells me earnestly. "Although that is always very nice," he says with a grin before giving me a flirtatious wink.
"I don't understand how I got so lucky."
I would have much rather spent the rest of the day just being held by Edward, but I hadn't seen my father in what felt like years and he did have something to tell me. Slowly I pulled myself out of Edward's arms and settled about finding something to wear. I'd ripped my closet apart just a few moments earlier, so almost every article of clothing I owned lay scattered on the floor. I couldn't wear sweats in public despite the fact I was dying to do so. I didn't fit in jeans, even the maternity ones we had bought me. I'd tried on the few dresses Alice had given me and none of them made me look any better. It seriously looked like I was going to have to wear my pajamas out to lunch.
"Wear the blue sundress Alice bought you," Edward said from across the room.
"You think so? What's the weather like?" If it was raining or cloudy out, I would be a little cold in that dress.
"It's gorgeous out. When Ayden woke up earlier he dragged me outside so we could play for a while."
I spare a quick look at the time and see we've only got fifteen minutes until we're supposed to meet Charlie at the restaurant. As fast as possible, given that I am just a little impaired at speed due to my pregnancy, I changed and threw on some make up. I didn't have any time to worry about how I looked because we still had to get Ayden in the car and drive to meet Charlie. We were so going to be late.
"You look beautiful," Edward had stopped what he was doing and was just staring at me now, his eyes wide and his mouth hung slightly.
I could feel my cheeks and my neck staining red. Edward honestly flattered me too often. "Thank you."
He closed the distance between us in two steps and pulled me against his chest, dropping a tender kiss to the top of my head. "I love you Isabella."
"I love you Edward," I said, trying to bury myself in his chest. I could stay there forever.
"Momma, daddy we gotta go! Granpa Charlie is waitings," Ayden yelled from the door of our bedroom. I looked to see him frowning at the both of us, his little arms crossed over his chest.
He was in one of the thousands of outfits Alice had bought for him. He had on his blue plaid shorts and a white polo paired with little white loafers. He looked like he was ready for a photo shoot on a golf course. I worried about how much Alice spoiled my son some days.
"Well don't you look handsome!"
"Thanks momma, let's go! I wanna see granpa," Ayden whined slightly. I could understand his frustration; he hadn't seen Charlie in forever and while I hadn't seen him in just as long, time meant something different to a three year old.
Edward dropped his arms and hurried forward to scoop Ayden up. I snatched my purse off the nightstand and followed my husband out to our car. The ride to the restaurant was faster than I expected. Ayden sat in his car seat and sang to every song on the radio, like always.
When we pulled up to the restaurant, I could see Charlie waiting on a bench for us. He spotted Edward's car and began waving. Ayden was literally bouncing in his seat as I tried to take him out. "Calm down sweetie, I can't unbuckle you with you bouncing like that."
"Sorry momma," Ayden said, stopping at once as he grinned at something over my shoulder. "Granpa Charlie!"
As soon as I got his buckle undone Ayden slipped out of his seat and slid out of the car and ran, I was ready to scream because we were in a parking lot but as soon as I turned around I saw Ayden was being held by Charlie, kissing his face all over.
"I missed you little guy," I head Charlie whisper to Ayden as we walked into the restaurant. This place was much nicer than The Lodge, which was the fanciest place in Forks. I assumed whatever Charlie had to tell us must be important if he was springing for such a nice place. Edward was tightly holding my hand as a blonde hostess seated us across from my son and father.
"I missed you granpa Charlie, why you no live with us no mores?" Ayden asked Charlie seriously while he started to color on his menu with the crayons provided.
Charlie's smile seemed to falter at that. I couldn't help but feel slightly guilty. It was like I had once again robbed my father of his time with Ayden and myself. While we had spent basically the whole year living with him that was only one year out of the three years Ayden had been alive. Charlie and Renee had split up so young and she had dragged me off to Phoenix with her so Charlie was left with nothing. And now that he finally had us, I up and left.
"You live with mommy and daddy now, buddy," Charlie told him simply.
I half expected Ayden to tell Charlie that was a stupid answer, but instead he smiled brightly at Charlie and picked up his menu. "Do you likes my colorings?"
"I love it! You're such a good artist."
"You can keeps it! Put its on your fridge?" Ayden slid the paper in Charlie's direction, his eyes wide as he waited to see what Charlie would say.
"I can really keep it? Thanks buddy, this is the best picture I've ever gotten," Charlie said making Ayden smile even bigger than before.
A young waitress, most likely only sixteen or so, came up to our booth to greet us and take our drink orders. I was so out of it, I didn't even know what to ask for. Luckily Edward knew what to order for me and let me get lost in my own mind once again.
I was so curious as to what my father wanted to talk with us about. He looked nervous, that much was obvious. He kept fidgeting with his tie. Wait, his tie? Since when did my jean wearing, beer drinking father wear ties to lunch? Now that I looked at him, Charlie was wearing a tie and he had shaved, just that morning if I had to guess. His hair was combed and I would bet money on him wearing his lucky shoes. What the hell was going on here?
"So dad, what was it you wanted to tell us?" I tried my best to sound nonchalant and totally failed. Charlie grimaced slightly and played with his tie again. "Come on dad, let's hear the bad news."
"It's not really bad news…um, I don't know how to start this off Bells," he said, his eyes directed towards the drawing Ayden had given him. I looked to see if Edward understood what was going on and was disgruntled to see him smiling knowingly at my father. He was too damn smart some days.
"Dad, you know I hate suspense, please just spit it out?"
Edward chuckled at my side and I threw him an annoyed glance. I really hated being out of the loop.
Charlie took a deep breath before speaking again. "Bells, do you remember when I introduced you to the Clearwater family a few months back?"
I strained my memory. I didn't really remember the actual meeting but I did recall them being at a lot of previous family events we had had. They were at Ayden's birthday, my graduation party, my wedding…but I couldn't remember speaking to a single one of them. I could recall what Sue looked like the easiest. I knew her husband had just died two years ago from a heart attack. Then there was her daughter, Leah I think her name is, she was a few years older than me but still lived with her mom, I guess after what had happened with her father she wanted to stay close to home. And then there was the son, Seth, who had to be almost three years younger than me. I could picture his eager, smiling face easily. But why did my dad want me to remember them?
"Yeah, what about them pop?"
I turned to see if Edward had a clue and was not surprised to see his lip curved upwards as he gave my father a knowing look. He was too damn smart for his own good. Well, actually I may just be too oblivious for my own good.
"Well," Charlie stuttered before he readjusted his tie again. "You see, I've been spending time with Sue a lot lately. And well, she's…uh Edward, can you help me out here?"
I frowned at my father. What was he so afraid of telling me?
"Of course I can," Edward said as he smirked at Charlie. "I think what your father is trying to tell us is that he and Sue are engaged. And if I'm correct on that, I'm also to assume that since you're dressed up nicely Charlie, she and her kids will be meeting us here."
"Yeah, any minute now," Charlie answered Edward, his eyes glancing towards the entrance of the restaurant.
I stared at my father as he did his best to keep his eyes averted from mine. Charlie was getting married? And I barely knew the woman? What if she was like Renee? No…what if she was even worse? I couldn't bear to see my father heartbroken all over again. How could he propose to some woman I barely knew? She could be a psycho killer for all I know!
Rather than speak, I just stared wide-eyed at Charlie. Edward nudged my in the ribs, probably trying to get me to say something, anything at all but I couldn't form a single word. I was gob smacked.
As if on cue, I noticed out of the corner of my eye, three people walk into the restaurant, the leader of the three was a petite woman scanning the place for someone. Charlie waved them over to our booth, which I now realized was big enough to fit eight. I watched as the three of them approached us. Sue looked anxious, but happy to see Charlie. Seth was standing behind her, a giant grin on his face. His sister stood at his side, her arms folded over her chest as she glared icily over my shoulder. I winced from the severity of her look.
"Hi Charlie," Sue's pleasant tone banished the idea of her being worse than Renee from my mind. Though I was still not convinced on whether or not she was an axe murderer. You could never tell about people.
Charlie got up from his seat and greeted Sue with a kiss. Once again I was completely baffled by the situation. How had I not seen this coming? I should have known Charlie and Sue were dating. I should have known that they were serious about each other. I couldn't fight the nagging little feeling that I was a horrible person for not knowing this about my father. I was too self-centered to even acknowledge Charlie's happiness. And when he finally tells me his good news, I gap at him like a retarded goldfish. He probably thinks I hate him. Which I could never do! He's my dad, one of the greatest guys out there. If Sue made him happy then I was happy. But if she stepped one toe out of line, it would be off with her head.
Sue and Charlie were chatting quietly with each other off to the side, probably telling each other how their kids reacted to the news. Edward made me scoot down a little so we could make room for Leah. She took the seat without saying a word. Seth slipped into the seat across from us next to Ayden still grinning goofily.
"Hey little man," he greeted Ayden happily. "What are ya drawing?"
Ayden looked at Seth for a moment, surveying the newcomer. When he saw Seth's warm smile, Ayden's face broke out into a similar one and he began to chatter happily, "I was drawin dis picture for my momma. It's her," he pointed at me, "daddy," he pointed to Edward, causing Edward to grin back at him, "and me," Ayden pointed at himself," and I left room for when the baby comes and when I get a puppy."
"A puppy?" I question him. Since when did Ayden think he was getting a puppy?
Ayden waved his chubby little hand at me and said, "Talk to daddy bout my puppy," before launching back into a conversation with Seth.
I turned towards Edward and saw Leah was eyeing the both of us warily. Before accusing Edward of anything, I immediately felt rude for not saying hello to her. "Hey Leah, how have you been?"
"Fine," she said with a shrug of her shoulders and a look if indifference.
I was taken aback by this. I was used to people being rude, I grew up with Renee after all, but this was just different. I had never done anything to Leah and she was talking to me as if I was the biggest pain in her ass. I felt like I was in one of those teenage girl movies where the mean girl says something nasty to the innocent new girl and then laughs with all her other mean friends. I was just waiting for Leah to cackle evilly in my face for being naïve enough to think she'd be nice to me.
I turned away from her and averted my attention back to my son. Why did I care how Leah felt about me? She's going to be your step sister soon enough, my brain reasoned. Sure she and Seth would be part of my family soon enough, but did their opinions of me really matter? Yes, a small voice in the back of my brain said. Of course their opinions mattered. I didn't want them to hate me. They were going to be my first shot at a normal family and while it is 18 years later than I would have liked, it's better late than never. If they hated me, would that mean they hated Charlie? I couldn't imagine anyone hating my father. The idea of it just made me sick to my stomach.
"Are you alright," Edward lips were against my ear as he asked the simple question. I wanted to turn to him and assure him I was fine but I sucked at lying. But I also didn't think my worries were big enough to concern Edward over them. I was just over thinking things.
Instead of answering him, I leaned my head against his shoulder and pressed my body against his side as I kept my eyes on my animated son. Seth appeared to be just another admirer of Ayden's.
"Little man, have you ever colored with sidewalk chalk?" Seth asked Ayden while he helped him color on his paper.
Ayden thought hard for a moment before answering, "No I don't fink so but I has chalk at my house. You wanna come color wif me?"
Seth looked up at me, "Can I come by to play with the little man one day?"
I felt my heart warm at the idea. At least Seth seemed to like our little family. "Of course, Ayden would love that."
"Awesome, did you hear that buddy? I'm coming over!" Seth told Ayden happily.
"I can show you my new room! It's weally cool."
"That sounds great!" Seth laughed, along with the rest of the group.
I had been so intently focused on Ayden and Seth, I hadn't noticed Charlie and Sue sit down. Charlie was in the process of trying to start a conversation with Leah and failed, like I had before. Sue gave Leah a reprimanding look before she turned her attention towards me. I instantly felt nervous, unsure of what Sue was going to ask me and what I would say back.
"So Bella, are you excited to start school in a couple of weeks?" Sue asked me, a great, big unknowing smile on her face.
I felt my stomach drop at the thought of going to school. Ever since I agreed to be Alice's bitch, or matron of honor as everyone else called it, I'd been silently freaking out about school. I was already so stressed about it and I hadn't even started going yet. That could not be a good sign.
Edward nudged me in the ribs again and I realized I had just been blankly staring at Sue for the better half of five minutes. Real smooth Bella.
"Ha, sorry about that," I replied awkwardly, trying to pretend I hadn't just gone into panic mode at the mere mentioning of school. "I'm just a little tired so I keep zoning out today. But yeah, I'm really excited for school to start. Edward is too."
Like the knight in shining armor he is, Edward swept into the conversation and told Sue about all of our plans to start school in the fall while I stared blankly ahead of me, my mind unsure of where to go from there.
I didn't want to worry Edward with my concerns over school, because I was most likely being paranoid. But I could not shake the guilty feeling that I was lying to him by not saying something. And if I asked someone else what to do, I would feel even guiltier because I would be telling them my fears before I told Edward. It was too early for me to be freaking out, which meant it was far too early to concern Edward. If I was still this bugged out about school after I start, maybe then I'll talk to him.
Lunch flew by and I realized quickly, both Seth and Sue were very warm, loving people. While Sue and Leah looked alike, with their short bob hairdos and bronze skin, they were polar opposites. Leah was icy the entire lunch, barely speaking to anyone aside from her mother, while Sue monopolized the conversation at the table, doing her best to get to know my family.
"When's Sef coming ova momma?" Ayden asked me as I carried him into our house, both of his eyes closed and his little thumb stuck in his mouth.
"Well, you look like you need a nap, so not today mister. Soon though, I promise baby," I said before pressing a kiss to his temple. "Do you want to read a story before you nap?"
"No, I wanna nap in your bed with you and daddy."
I looked to see if Edward had heard Ayden's request, which sounded like the perfect idea, and saw my husband was no longer in the room with us.
"Well, we have to find daddy first, then we'll ask him," I told Ayden.
"I'm here, what's up," Edward said, rushing into the living room before I had even taken a single step.
"Nap time daddy, up stairs," Ayden said, barely lifting his little arm and point towards mine and Edward's bedroom.
"A nap sounds wonderful, I'll lead the way."
I followed Edward, silently carrying the half asleep Ayden. By the time we got to our room, Ayden was fast asleep and I was beyond ready for a nap. Edward pulled Ayden from my arms, gently laying him in the middle of our bed before quickly moving to my dresser. I figured he was going to get my sleep clothes, but I decided I was suddenly too tired to change and crawled into bed, settling down next to Ayden.
I was quickly falling into unconsciousness, that I wasn't sure if I was dreaming or not when Edward kissed my head and wrapped an arm around my waist, mumbling an 'I love you' into my ear. Either way, I hadn't felt more an ease in years than I did in that very moment.