[A heartbroken Bella flings herself into a relationship with Jacob after Edward leaves. Three years later, she's living a dangerously precarious life. Her daily ambition simply to avoid being the target of Jacob's fury. When the Cullen's mysteriously reappear suddenly in Forks, bringing with them her bronze haired lost love, will it be enough to awaken the girl she used to be and get away? Or has the years living without him and fighting for survival against Jacob's rage broken her spirit once and for all?]

Disclaimer: You know the drill. I own nothing but an iPod and a Blackberry. All credit goes to SM. I'm just her humble servant. And by humble servant, I mean, I'm completely obsessed with her characters.

Would you mind if I killed you?
Would you mind if I tried to cause you hell?
Cause you have turned into my worst enemy
You carry hate that I don't feel
It's over now
What have you done now?

- What Have You Done Now - Within Temptation.


He was sleeping now, she was sure of this. Still, she laid silently beside him with bated breath, sure that he was bound to wake up the minute she let out close to a lung full of air. Her body was stiff from laying so still for so long, the muscles in her legs screamed for movement, begged for release from their catatonic state. She painfully ignored the urge to even flex her toes, afraid the slightest movement would jar him, causing him to snap awake.

She waited on pins and needles for what seemed like hours, though, according to the small analog clock she had shared a room with since she was a small girl on her left, it had only been a half an hour. He was sleeping like the dead for certain, she knew. She was well versed after the past three years in all things Jacob. She had to be. It was imperative to her survival that she knew everything about him, down to the tiniest things that made him tick.

Slowly and painstakingly, she eased herself out of the large four poster bed she shared with the monster she had once loved, or perhaps had trained herself into believing she loved. Ignoring her lead filled sleeping legs and the painful burning in between them, she headed shuffling towards the door. She stopped only long enough to grab her pink terry clothed robe from the vanity stool.

Fortunately, the bedroom door stood wide open from earlier in the evening when Jacob had barged in. She was grateful. The nights when she had to agonize over getting the door both open and closed again without rousing him were easily the most stressful. Tonight, at the very least, she only had to worry about easing the door closed.

Careful to lift up slightly on the handle half way through the act of shutting it, she managed to get the door closed behind her without Jacob stirring. She stood in the hallway for a moment, long enough to allow herself to breath a soft sigh of relief, slip her robe on, wincing slightly at the soreness in her elbow, and grant her eyes the time to adjust to the harsh lights.

Fate was taking pity on her tonight, it would appear. Not only had Jacob left the door open, but he had also neglected to turn off the lights throughout their modest ranch house. Now she didn't have to worry about setting to her task in the darkness nor risk turning on anything that would cause him to awaken.

It was such a silly thing to acquire a fresh batch of bruises over, light filtering in under the door, but lesser things had set him off in the past. Lesser things set him off now.

She cautiously padded down the long hall towards the living room, wary of what she'd find once she got there. Everything inside of her begged for her to wait until morning. Everything that was, except for the part that knew best, her head. If she waited till morning, she risked Jacob waking before her and seeing the mess. He'd ask her what had happened, feigning ignorance, and if she was stupid enough to tell him, his ignorant fa├žade would slip. She shuddered. She'd made that mistake before. No, it was better to clean it up now. She'd have to anyways and this way she could also escape the charade come morning.

She sighed once she arrived at the living room, staring around at the destruction with disbelief.

Once upon a time, she would've almost lovingly said that Jacob and alcohol didn't mix. Those were the days she was still deeply in denial. These days she knew the truth. Jacob and alcohol were a lethal combination. Throw his friends in that twisted combination and all out chaos followed closely in their wake.

Hours earlier, the boys from the "rez" had come over for a game, since she and Jacob had the best TV out of the bunch. After banishing her to the bedroom, Jacob and his friends had wasted no time in getting rip roaring drunk, and apparently as the excitement of the game took over, things had gotten rowdy as usual. Tables were now overturned, the couch cushions were astray, and there was chips and beer strewn everywhere.

Not for the first time, she was thankful they didn't have children. Thankful, in a sick way, that night long ago had taken place. This would be all that much more difficult with the addition of children.

She hurried to complete the task at hand, wanting nothing more to get it done, slip in the guest bathroom, take a quick shower and get to bed. She was worn out, her body was screaming in protest at her every movement, and she could feel the despair creeping in on her steadily.

Halfway through her hasty clean up job, her gaze was pulled to a pile of broken glass. The color was sickeningly familiar, bronze and pale. She moved closer, unconscious of her actions. Recognition dawned on her, despair seeping in on her tenfold.

Staring at the broken porcelain angel, the one that had reminded her so much of him, she felt something inside her snap.


A/N:

You have NO idea how much it pained me to do this to Jacob. I love me some Jacob. *sigh*

Cookies in the shape of your favorite Cullen for those that take the time to review.