Disclaimer: We in no way shape or form own Twilight or any of Stephenie Meyer's characters. We also don't own any pieces of music, movies, and other random things that might show up. We do this purely for the joy of expressing ourselves and having fun while doing it.
Authors' Note: Bemylullaby here! Before you ask…No, you are not seeing doubles. So please for us, put down the bottle of Scotch, put down the glass of gin and tonic…Please, put down the alcoholic beverages, as well as your bongs *cough*Michael Phelps*cough*..this is a collab between Katie M Cullen and I. We've finally gotten off our asses and posted. Of course note without a little poking from myself to get Katie to write and such.
It's Wednesday…we plan to post every Wednesday. That is unless life decides to visit and it might come a little later than planned.
So with that said…sit back and enjoy the ride. Put on your seat belt kiddies, you'll laugh, you'll cry, and please keep all hands, arms and feet inside the vehicle at all times. Try not to scream on the big drops. Don't forget to tip your waitress! :D
Meaning not deliberate or intentional.
Meaning it's not like I deliberately planned for this to happen, not like I intentionally wanted to hurt his feelings.
The words that I wrote down on that piece of paper echoed through my mind.
I'm sorry. I can't do this. Forgive me, I can't blame you if you hate me. I hate myself right now, too. Just so you know, I love you. I always have, and always will. –B
Meaning it's not like I deliberately planned for everything to change the way it did. It's not like I intentionally opened the door knowing exactly what waited for me on the other side.
The smiling faces of my friends, my new friends flashed through my mind. The countless hours we spent laughing, crying together. All the late nights I'd spent lying around the common room with him talking until the wee hours of the morning. The moonlight serving as our only light.
Meaning, I, Isabella Marie Swan, didn't deliberately move to California intentionally knowing that when I got there a whole new chapter of my life was waiting to begin. I wasn't planning on meeting the people I met, doing the things I did.
But it happened.
You can't change the past, you can only change the future.
The question was…did I want it to change?
If I would've known what was awaiting me in California would I have gone?
Would I have gone and risked all the things I knew, the things I loved, for a new life?
After all, if it was not meant to be, it would not have happened. None of this would've happened. If I was supposed to be who I was before all of this, then I would've stayed home and become the girl I thought I was. It was fate, even if fate led me to this cliff.
What is meant to be is meant to be. Everything happens for a reason. Every touch, every tear, every word, every heartbeat happens for a reason. It all comes down to fate, and I watched as the waves crashed below me before making my decision. If I was meant to die here, alone with just my thoughts as company, then I was. Fate is fate, you can't change it.
Millions of questions flooded my mind as I stood atop the cliffs staring down at the ocean below. The smell of salty ocean air tickled my senses, the cool ocean breeze blew against my skin. The round beads of water falling from the sky soaking my body from head to toe.
I took a step closer to edge.
I was stupid for allowed myself to do this. For allowing myself to succumb to the feelings I locked deep inside me since that day. For allowing myself to believe that something so blatantly wrong for me was what I wanted.
I looked down at the water and I could tell the storm was close. The waves roughly crashed against the rocky sides of the cliff.
"Bella, promise me you'll never leave me. Promise you'll never leave me," he pleaded, taking my hand in his. "No matter what happens after we graduate Bella, promise you'll never leave me."
"I promise. I'll be here, always here," I placed my hand on his chest right over his heart. "I'm yours forever, I'll never leave you, no matter what."
The memory of that day played over and over in my mind. I felt the strong guilt hit my body in the form of wind. Truth of the matter was, I should feel guilty. I made the promise to him a year and a half ago not to leave him.
Yet, here I was. Standing on top of cliff. Dealing with my problems the only way I felt I could.
I held my arms out, the wind blowing against my body. I truly felt like I was flying.
"I love you. I'm so sorry," I whispered, taking the last step and staring deeply down at the threatening shore below.
Welcome to the dark side! We have the Cullen boys!
Do we gotta say it? Do we?
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